After

As she stood in front of Clarke’s door, there was nothing Beca wanted to do more than turn around and head back to her apartment. She was so not ready for the upcoming conversation. But it was already too late, the receptionist had warned Clarke someone was coming, so Beca took a deep breath and knocked.

“Wait a second”, it sounded more like a growl than an actual sentence and she wondered whether Clarke might look even worse than she did. But then she reminded herself how incredibly hot Clarke Griffin was, and with a smirk on her face she concluded that it wouldn’t be the case. At that moment the door opened. Standing there smiling, Beca felt a bit silly, certainly since Clarke wasn’t smiling at all. She looked way too hungover for happiness.

“I bought you breakfast”, said Beca as she showed Clarke the bag with croissants and the coffees she had bought, “so may I come in?” Clarke took a step aside to let her in, “Woah Beca, you didn’t have to do that”, confused she added: “I wasn’t even expecting you.” “How could I not come after Emily’s phone call?” As she plumbed down on her bed and suggested Beca to do the same since there weren’t any free chairs in her room, Clarke took a bite of a croissant. “Damn, those are really good.” Glad she liked it, Beca couldn’t help herself but smile again. So far so good. “Sorry for the mess by the way. Last night was ehm… kind of tough.” Beca wanted to say she didn’t have to apologize, but she couldn’t deny it, her room was a dump. There were clothes and boxes everywhere, not to say anything about the empty bottles. “Well, I can’t blame you”, Beca said, staring at the floor, “and I feel like I owe you an apology as well. Cause I… gosh I feel so stupid now”, Clarke took her hand and squeezed it, as to reassure her that she could say whatever she wanted to. “Pff the thing is, I was home, I just… had gone to bed”, she looked back up, into Clarke’s eyes, where she saw a sign of understanding, “and I wasn’t sure whether I had imagined the ringing or not.” She felt tears welling up in her eyes again, “I just feel so guilty that you like –“, “Went back to the hotel and got wasted?” asked Clarke with a wink. “Exactly.” “Well if we’re being totally honest with each other, I didn’t went back straight away.”

Clarke stood up and walked to the window – stepping carefully over a dozen boxes in the process – before she continued: “You see, I had those wine bottles with me, so I figured I could as well drink them,” Clarke’s voice wavered, “Alone, on a bench. I know classy.” Beca laughed, this was like really sad and funny at the same time. “While I was halfway through the second bottle, a man came by and offered me some more drinks if I accompanied him to that bar down street. Which of course I did, cause you know more booze sounded like the best thing that could happen to me. After a few beers though the guy must’ve realized I wasn’t exactly into him and he started looking for someone else. So I left the bar and went back to your apartment.” “Oh no, you were the one that woke me?” Clarke looked guilty, “and didn’t stop for like two minutes? Right that was me.” Beca got up and crossed the two meters towards the window, forcing Clarke to look at her. With their noses almost toughing she whispered: “I’m so, so sorry for not letting you in.” Clarke stared deeply into her eyes: “It’s okay, I’m sorry too.” A warm feeling went through Beca’s veins, all the sudden she didn’t feel so bad anymore. She coughed and tore her eyes from Clarke’s perfect face, “Anyway, shall we go find you an apartment then?” she’d surprised herself by hearing those words come out of her mouth and Clarke looked stunned as well: “Do you really want to accompany me on that –,” “epic journey?” Beca said smiling, she was totally going for it now “only if you want to of course.” “I would love nothing more”, trying to hide her pink cheeks, Beca took up what she thought looked like a decent outfit and handed it over to Clarke: “Well then, why don’t you go take a shower and we can leave this chaos.” “Oh first you make me embarrass myself and now you’re insulting me? Seriously, so glad we met Beca”, and with a broad smirk on her face Clarke disappeared into the bathroom.

Two episodes of Faking it later, a freshly washed Clarke reopened the door. Feeling busted, Beca quickly turned off the television, but hey it wasn’t her fault she’d been watching this crappy show, there had been nothing else to do. She turned to face Clarke, well that shower had clearly been a great idea, she looked way less hungover. And damn that cleavage. Beca coughed again, gosh she really didn’t know how to act around this girl, “So ready?”

On their way to the second apartment Clarke had made an appointment with, they passed an Apple store. “Oh come, let’s buy you a new phone!” Beca shouted and she was already towing her inside. “But my new credit card hasn’t arrived yet”, Clarke objected. “No problem, let me advance it”, as she saw Clarke was about to protest, she quickly added: “Come on Clarke, you know you can’t survive without a phone.” She could see Clarke knew she was right, “Don’t be stubborn dude, just let me do this small thing to make up for yesterday.” Clarke sighted, “Okay then, but only if you promise me to let me pay you dinner once I’ve my new card.” “Awesome, now let’s go find you a new iPhone!”

Three apartments and one signed contract later, they were sitting in a coffee shop and laughing about how Clarke managed to stay alive in Afghanistan but barely could survive one day in L.A. “Well you see, people tend to be way friendlier when you’re surrounded by twenty armed soldiers.”

Two weeks had passed since they’d last seen each other. Clarke had been so caught up in work and setting in that she’d had no time to see Beca. But they’d been texting. A lot. So Beca didn’t feel left out. In fact, she was happier than she’d been in a really long time.

Out of the blue her doorbell rang. It was 6.30 on a Friday night and Beca had only ten minutes ago arrived home from work. She hoped it was Clarke. But then she reminded herself not to get her hopes up. Nevertheless it was Clarke. As she opened the door, Beca had to use all her self-control to keep herself from squealing. This was an unexpected visit. “So what do you say, ready for that dinner I’d promised you?” asked Clarke with a smile so broad, Beca couldn’t have resisted even if she wanted to, which of course she didn’t. So she just said “Sure”, grabbed her coat and was already in the hallway before Clarke had even entered her apartment. “Ehm Beca?” “Yeah?” she looked over her shoulder so she could face Clarke, searching for the reason of her giggles. “Well, you might want to put some shoes on.” Beca felt her blood raise to her face, she was making such a fool of herself. Clarke was probably already regretting showing up. Ashamed she mumbled “Just one sec”, and disappeared back into her apartment. When she came back, Clarke was still laughing. “Oh you, just shut up!”

Clarke had chosen a quiet restaurant with a roof terrace nearby the ocean. As they were catching up on the past weeks, the sun was slightly setting down. Staring over the water and into Clarke’s innocent blue eyes, her wall was slowly breaking down. And by the way Clarke looked at her when she was telling a story or when she was trying to elegantly eat her ribs – yeah that  hopelessly failed – she was almost certain Clarke too was feeling the butterflies. But that didn’t make things easier though. Quite the opposite. As soon as Beca had drown the conclusion that Clarke might like her as well, she’d felt like she could throw up. It totally stressed her out, knowing that maybe, maybe not Clarke was about to make a move. She desperately hoped she would, cause otherwise she’d had to take the next step herself. And that was way too scary. The later it became, the less certain Beca was about Clarke’s feelings, maybe she had been misreading her all along. But on the other hand, she couldn’t blame Clarke for not taking the first step if she wasn’t willing to do that herself.

By the time the waiter came to tell them they’d to leave because they were about to close, Beca was a little disappointed in herself for being such a coward. Though when Clarke started walking back to the car, Beca pulled her arm, she wanted to stall this evening just a little longer: “Wait, why don’t we go make a little walk on the beach?” oh this must sound way too cheesy, “I mean it’s still really hot and I thought you maybe wanted to –,” suddenly her rambling was interrupted by Clarke’s soft lips. Surprised by this abrupt turn of events, Beca first held back a little. Though once she fully realized what was happening, she intertwined her hands with Clarke’s hair and kissed her back with all the tenderness she got. As she felt Clarke hands swiftly move over her body, Beca just knew kissing Clarke was the best thing in the whole world. She never wanted it to stop. And by the way Clarke’s tongue was moving, she was pretty sure she agreed. Beca was so overwhelmed she was glad her lips were occupied cause she doubted whether she’d still be able to speak.