After

November 12, 7.15 p.m., a cap dropped Beca at Stacie’s place. Now there was no way back. She was prepared and ready to face her former friends. Beca hoped she would make it through the evening with fake smiles and pretended interest in their urban lives.

“Ding dong”, within ten seconds Stacie opened the door: “Beca, there you are!” and she almost suffocated her in a hug. “Come in, the others are already here.” After a lot of hugs and shouts, even from Beca herself when she saw Flo was pregnant, Beca sat down in a chair next to Stacie.

For a while they just chitchatted about their lives, Beca didn’t talk that much and nobody seemed to care, after all, there were ten other girls in the room to fill up the silence. Which Fat Amy generously did.

But then they reached the inevitable topic: Chloe Baele. Everybody had been feeling her absence. The group just wasn’t complete without her. “You know, Chloe would have loved to see us all together after all those years”, said Aubrey with a dreamy glance in her eyes. “She would be so glad we all stayed friends.” Beca felt that people were starting to look at her, to check what her reaction would be. She stayed stoical though. She had prepared herself for this conversation over the last month.

“I still can’t believe she’s dead”, said Fat Amy “she was always so full of joy and life.” “Yeah she had so much to offer to the world”… They went on like that for a while until Aubrey started sobbing “I’m sorry guys, it’s just she was my best friend you know…”

Beca couldn’t stand this any longer, tears were already rolling over her face. She had to get out of here.

Talking about Chloe was one thing, talking about her death was, well even worse.

Stacie’s living room faded and she was back at the night Chloe died. It was the brightest memory in Beca’s mind, the only thing she could think of when she closed her eyes.

They had been dating for almost 2 years, when on a stormy night in September Chloe was on her way to Beca’s apartment. She lived only three blocks away, so she should be there soon. In a few weeks it would get even better since Chloe had found a job and an apartment in Los Angeles, so Beca could finally move to L.A. to become a producer. And she was about to live with the love of her life. The future couldn’t be any better for Beca Mitchell. While waiting for Chloe to arrive, Beca lit some candles and set the table. She caught herself whistling a cheerful song “Damn Chloe, you’re changing me!” Because Chloe was late, which she never was, Beca got a bit worried and called her phone, no response. Twenty minutes later she tried again, still no answer. Now she was getting really antsy, so she decided to drive to Chloe’s and see what the matter was.

Thus Beca went outside, into the storm, got in her car, entered the street, took a turn and there she saw her. Chloe had been hit by a car and her body just laid there, lifeless on the sidewalk.

Despite everything, Beca smiled. Of course she’d come by foot, no matter how hard it might rain, Chloe Baele would not screw up the environment for three blocks.

Then it hit her, hard.

She stopped her car in the middle of the road, ran over to Chloe and fell down, crying. She knew she shouldn’t get her hopes up, but still she wished to feel a pulse. Unfortunately she had no luck. When she dialed 911, they asked her to explain what happened but she just couldn’t say it out loud. She never would.

She screamed her lungs out, she couldn’t bare so much agony. By the time the ambulance came, Beca was completely empty and unable to speak.

“Beca?” Amy’s voice brought her back to the reality. Beca looked up and saw nine pair of eyes resting on her. She was glad no one was asking her anything. Still she wanted to say something, according to her breaking into tears at a dinner party deserved some explanation: “I… I just feel so guilty for her death. She was on her way to my place you know and… and if I’d get out there sooner she might’ve survived…” More tears, but all the former Bellas were crying now. She’d never told anyone about this before and actually, it felt great to have it from her chest. “Oh Beca,” she felt Stacie’s consoling hand on her shoulder, “it was not your fault! You couldn’t have done anything to save her.” Beca wanted to counter this but her sobs prevented her from doing so. “You shouldn’t feel guilty about something like that”, said Aubrey, “it was just… the person who was driving that car is the only one to blame here.” Beca looked into Aubrey’s eyes and saw she meant it.

She wanted to respond but suddenly she was caught in a Bella group hug.

“You weirdo’s, let’s get back to the small talk shall we?” and there it was, Beca’s first sincere smile in five years, two months and twenty-three days.