April Fools

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
F/F
F/M
Gen
G
April Fools

"This has got to stop" Bobbi groaned, rolling her eyes as she closed the fridge door.

"What?" Daisy snorted. "It's funny!"

"Yeah, maybe when she put red food dye inside the facet and scared the life out of Hunter, but it's just getting ridiculous now" Bobbi quirked her brow toward the carton of milk from the fridge with googly eyes glued on.

"That was a good one" Daisy smirked, remembering how Hunter's high pitched scream had alerted May, who came running into the kitchen gun raised. "They're just googly eyes" she shrugged as she continued to drink her coffee.

Bobbi just grunted in response, stirring the milk into her coffee.

Another high pitched scream was heard from somewhere on the base and Bobbi immediately shot Daisy a knowing look.

"Jemma! Jemma Simmons that is not funny!" Fitz yelled, clutching his chest. Bobbi and Daisy ran toward the small lab at the end of the hall where Fitz was currently pacing the floor and muttering under his breath.

"Fitz?" Daisy asked, getting his attention. "Fitz, whats wrong?"

"Your girlfriend, that's what!" Fitz exclaimed, pointing toward the small fridge at the side of the room. Daisy raised her eyebrows in surprise when she saw what was inside. She knew Jemma was planning a few small pranks like the fake blood and the googly eyes on everything in the fridge, but this wasn't what they had planned. This was almost... cruel.

"Ummmmm" Daisy hummed, not even sure on how to respond.

"A monkey, Daisy! A monkey! It's not even funny!" Fitz started pacing again.

Inside the fridge, Jemma had left a very convincing autopsied toy monkey in the fridge.

"At least its fake?" Daisy tried. At least she hoped it wasn't real. It did look awfully convincing.

"SHE LEFT IT'S LIVER NEXT TO MY LUNCH. AGAIN!" Fitz yelled, starting to once again pace the floor frantically.

"I'm gonna find Jemma, get her to apologise" Daisy nodded. She remembered the argument Jemma and Fitz had had four years ago when Jemma had to autopsy a body. She felt bad, Fitz was really worked up. This one wasn't even funny. "Um, can you calm him down?" she asked Bobbi. The blonde nodded and Daisy set off in search of her girlfriend.

"Jemma?" Daisy called, checking in their bedroom and finding it empty. "Jem?" Daisy decided to try the break room.

Daisy rolled her eyes as she saw the cockroach paper cut outs on the inside of the lampshade. They would have been funny, but Daisy knew the team had stopped seeing the funny side of their pranks now. She peeled them all off and stuffed them in her pocket as she continued to look for her girlfriend.

The base was relatively quiet and there was only so many places Jemma could be. Daisy decided to check in the bathroom next. She could hear the shower running but as soon as she approached the door, she heard another scream.

Oh fuck, what has she done now?! Daisy groaned internally. She was really starting to regret teaching Jemma some pranks. Her girlfriend was clearly taking things too far now.

Daisy gulped as May came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her still dripping wet body. She eyed Daisy, and the look in May's eyes let her know Jemma was in trouble. If May didn't have a look that could kill on her face, Daisy would have burst out laughing - this one was pretty good, she did have to admit... Although probably not funny to prank May, of all people.

"Where is she?" May growled. "I'm going to kill her!"

"Honestly, I have no idea... It's not that bad, i'm sure it will wash out-"

"-my hair is blue, Daisy. Blue!"

May looked ridiculous and it took everything Daisy had inside her not to laugh.

"It could be worse" Daisy offered and another wave of anger flashed in May's eyes.

"How? How could this be any worse?!"

"She could have put hair removal cream in your shampoo instead"

"You find her, you keep her out of my sight for the next week!" May snarled as she disappeared back into the bathroom.

Daisy swallowed thickly again as she continued to search for her girlfriend. She turned the corner and headed toward the other break room. Mack and Joey were sitting on the sofa playing on the xbox, nudging each other and yelling profanities at the screen.

"Hey guys" Daisy smiled as she leaned in the doorway. "Have either of you seen Jemma?"

"Not since this morning" Mack replied, not looking up from the screen. "Why?"

"She's taken April Fools Day way too seriously and I need to find her to a) tell her to stop and b) apologise to Fitz and May!" Daisy sighed.

"Why, what'd she do?" Joey asked, still facing the screen as he continued to fight Mack in the game.

 "Well, she put a fake dead monkey in the fridge next to poor Fitz's lunch, and dyed May's hair bright blue!"

"She what?!" Mack chuckled, pausing the game as both him and Joey turned to face Daisy. "Do you have a picture?!"

"I wish!" Daisy smirked. "But May didn't see the funny side"

"I've got to check and see if this is caught on the security cameras!" Mack declared, getting up from the sofa and heading to the computer in the corner of the room.

The instant Mack sat on the chair, a loud air horn rang out, scaring Mack so much he fell off the chair and onto the floor. Joey burst out in a peal of laughter as Mack groaned and started cursing Jemma.

"Actually, that one was me" Daisy said sheepishly. She had forgotten about that one. Oops.

She quickly left the room and decided to check their bedroom again, but was stopped in the hallway by an angry looking Lincoln.

"What did she do?" Daisy huffed in frustration.

"What didn't she do?! She sewed all my socks closed, put cling film on the toilet, changed the language on my laptop to mandarin, left a fake poo in my shoe and put pictures of Justin Bieber all over my bedroom. It's not funny, Daisy! I don't even like Bieber. I sang 'Baby' once. Once. Two years ago!" Lincoln started ranting and Daisy had to bite back a snort. She felt bad, she really did.

Apparently Jemma was still harbouring a grudge against him because of the one time they kissed a million years ago.

"I'm sorry" Daisy smiled genuinely. "But if it makes you feel better, she's gotten everybody. I have created a monster"

"Hmn" Lincoln groaned, carrying on in the opposite direction.

Daisy picked up her pace toward their bedroom. She could hear Jemma's maniacal laughing from hallway down the hall.

Oh no.

Daisy jogged to the room, to find Jemma sat in the center of their bed, laughing hysterically at her laptop screen. Jemma looked up as she heard Daisy approaching.

"Oh Dais, you have to see this!" Jemma wiped tears from her eyes as she turned her laptop, pressing play.

She had set up secret cameras in the lab and had Fitz's terrified reaction running on a loop.

"Jemma" Daisy said seriously. "Jem, that's not funny"

"Oh come on, Daisy. It's hilarious. Look at him!" Jemma exclaimed, pointing towards the screen.

"I'm serious, Jem. That's not funny" Daisy sighed, sitting on the bed next to Jemma. "Have you watched the rest of the video?" Jemma shook her head. "Well you should" Daisy pressed play, letting the rest of the footage run. "That really freaked him out, Jem. Bobbi is with him trying to calm him down"

"Oh" Jemma sighed, sounding deflated. She felt bad. She hadn't meant to make him freak out. She thought it would be funny.

"Oh indeed. You need to apologise. And not just to Fitz. May wants to kill you"

Jemma started to grin again but Daisy raised her brows.

"Jemma, May's hair is blue. I don't know how the fuck you managed that but she is pissed"

 "Okay fine" Jemma groaned. "I'll apologise"

"To Lincoln too"

Jemma pouted and was about to protest when Daisy quirked her brow in a scalding manner.

"It's been almost three years, you need to let it go, babe"

Jemma sulked, reminding Daisy of a child. Jemma looked so goddamn adorable right now that Daisy almost forgot this was a serious conversation she was trying to have.

"Please?" Daisy asked. "For me?"

"Fine" Jemma huffed, like it was the biggest inconvenience to her in the world.

"Good" Daisy smiled, leaning over and pecking her girlfriend on the lips. "Now have you rigged anything else I should know about?"

"...no"

"Jemma" Daisy said in a stern voice, the way a mother would speak to a disobedient child.

"I may or may not have rigged Coulson's hand to shock him every 20 minutes"

"Oh for God's sake!" Daisy groaned under her breath. "That's not funny, Jemma. The whole team literally wants to kill you!"

"I thought it was funny!" Jemma defended herself.

"We seriously need to sort out your definition of funny" Daisy chuckled slightly. "I have to warn Coulson" she stood from the bed. "When's the next shock due?"

"In... 3... 2... 1-"

"-AAARRGGGHHHHH! JEMMAAAAAA!"

"Oh boy!"

(x)

"I'd like to thank everybody for coming" Daisy smiled at the room. "And for not killing Jemma" she added, gulping slightly as she took in the sight of 8 very angry looking faces.

She didn't have time to wonder why Coulson's hair was also blue, and why him and May seemed to be rather close. Hmmmm.

"I'd first of all like to apologise for teaching Jemma about pranks and for planting the idea in her head" Daisy licked her lips nervously as May shot her girlfriend daggers. "But I would like to add the hair dye, the electric shocks and the dead monkey had nothing to do with me. Jemma?"

Jemma sheepishly took a step forward, gulping loudly as she felt all eyes in the room angrily boring into her.

"I have been informed that my little pranks were not in fact little, nor were they funny. Fitz, i'm so, so sorry. I thought it would be funny. May, your hair should wash out in a few washes. Honestly, I thought it was going to be Bobbi in there. I'm sorry. Coulson, I can't stress enough how sorry I am about your hand. I don't know what I was thinking... Although I don't know why your hair is slightly blue as well" May seemed to visibly blush at Jemma's last comment and Coulson started coughing loudly.

"That's enough, Jemma. Thank you, apology accepted" Coulson coughed loudly, clearing his throat dramatically.

"Lincoln, i'm really sorry about everything. I'm just bitter you made out with Daisy three years ago. You didn't deserve the cellophane over the toilet seat... Also I filled your whole car with ping pong balls. Sorry" Lincoln frowned at this and Daisy tried not to laugh.

"Hunter, i'm sorry I put red food dye in the tap and made you think it was blood. I'm also sorry I uploaded it to YouTube... You've kind of gone viral" Hunter pouted and looked toward his wife. Bobbi just nodded in confirmation. The last time she had checked, the video of Hunter screaming had been at almost 100k views. She herself found it pretty hilarious, if not slightly embarrassing. 

Jemma sighed and took a step back, closer to the door and closer to freedom.

"I just want to stress how truly sorry I am" Jemma said, her hand balling up and making its way to her pocket. "And how sorry I am for this!" and with that, Jemma pressed a button in her pocket and ran like hell out of the room, laughing maniacally as the air conditioning thrummed to life, spitting out flour and glitter and covering the whole room.

She continued to laugh all the way down the hall as she heard everyone cough and sputter and mutter under their breaths.

Daisy spat out a mouth full of flour, and could see, even through the fog, just how pissed off the team was. May opened her mouth to say something, but Daisy cut her off.

"Oh don't worry, I'm going to kill Jemma too!"