Reunion
“So,” Charlotte DiLaurentis says, plopping down in the captain’s chair. “Which one of you bitches tried to kill me?”
Alison rushes towards her sister, tears of happiness and relief streaming down her face. “I thought I lost you.”
Charlotte’s expression softens, and she returns Alison’s hug. “Well?” she asks the others, over Alison’s shoulder. “Let’s hear it, ladies! Confessions? Outraged denials? Wild conspiracy theories?” She gazes at the faces of the Liars, taking in Emily’s open mouthed shock, Spencer’s wary surprise, Aria’s wide eyed fear, Hanna’s defiant expression, and Mona’s unperturbed countenance.
“I told you it wasn’t them,” Melissa says, in a long suffering voice. “They can barely coordinate lunch plans - forget about covering up a murder.”
“Speaking of which,” Mona says calmly, as if they’re making small talk at a cocktail party. “You do seem to be the picture of health, considering you were in a coffin last time we saw you.”
Charlotte steps away from Alison and folds her arms across her chest. “A coffin one of you tried to put me in.” She studies them all carefully, like she’s looking for a tell.
“No,” Emily says, firmly. “We talked you down off the roof, remember? None of us wanted you dead.”
“You wanted me locked up,” Charlotte counters. “Then someone cracks my skull from behind hours after my release? Frankly, I’m impressed with your initiative.”
“It wasn’t them,” Alison insists, her hand on Charlotte’s elbow. “Rollins - he was playing us both.”
“Rollins is a dirtbag,” Charlotte agrees. “I was playing him to try and get an early release. But this isn’t him.”
“He married me, then pushed me down a flight of stairs,” Alison tells her.
“In broad daylight, at a bed and breakfast,” Charlotte points out. “He’s not subtle.”
“You’ve been watching us,” Hanna says, hollowly. “Again.”
“I wasn’t going to!” Charlotte insists. “I’m rehabilitated! But it’s a dangerous world! A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!” She gestures towards the monitors, where cameras seem to be capturing a variety of Rosewood residents in and out of their homes. Aria catches sight of Ezra hastily packing a suitcase, Lucas eating jello in his hospital bed, Ashley getting into the elevator at the Radley, Jason tugging at the hairs of his goatee and looking stressed in his office.
“Why don’t we trade information,” Spencer suggests, in a voice that sounds like she’s agreeing to negotiate with North Korea. “Compare notes.”
“This is an interrogation,” Melissa cuts in. “Not a slumber party. She’s not interested in trading secrets and painting your nails.”
“Although,” Charlotte says to Alison, “that is a really nice shade on you.”
“Why are you her minion?” Spencer hisses at her sister.
“I’m not a minion,” Melissa huffs.
“So what, you’re her unpaid egg-stealing intern?” Emily glares.
“No harm, no foul,” Charlotte says with an exaggerated shrug. “They’re still frozen. When this is over, you can have them back.”
“Charlotte,” Alison says, aghast. “You can’t just steal people’s eggs!”
“I needed leverage,” Charlotte replies, sounding supremely unconcerned. “Besides, I saw how you two were looking at each other in the hospital. I thought you might want them. So you could have Baby Emily running around instead of some stranger.”
“You’re not really selling the whole rehabilitation angle,” Aria says, finding her voice.
“Lighten up, little cousin,” Charlotte grins. “Did I try to saw anyone in half? Did I run a car through your living room? Did I explode any houses?” She focuses on Hanna. “That fork in the eye breakfast threat? That was totally friendly! You even got free breakfast out of it! But do I hear a thank you?”
“Thank you for not actually running me over with the monster truck,” Emily says, sarcastically.
“Pfft,” Melissa says. “I gunned the engine a few times. Don’t be so dramatic.”
“Why are you helping her?” Spencer demands. “Is she blackmailing you?”
“Only a little,” Charlotte protests, defensively.
“Sara Harvey was blackmailing me,” Melissa explains. “The greedy little weasel. I emptied my trust fund, I had to borrow money from Dad.”
“But then, once I found out,” Charlotte explains, “I hacked into her bank account and got it all back. Everything she hadn’t spent on her hole in the wall renovation project. And her room service bill. Because I do good things now. I help people.”
Melissa makes an exasperated noise. “Except that she’s keeping it in escrow until we solve the case of who almost killed her. So unless you want your penniless sister sleeping on the floor of your place in DC, I suggest you help us figure it out.”
Charlotte nods. “Poverty makes her grouchy,” she cautions. “So spill.”
“None of them tried to kill you,” Mona assures her. “I had Ashley give me the back up drive for safe keeping, and Aria and Hanna were the only ones who left the hotel. Hannakins was with me, and Aria was making doe eyes at Mr. Fitz until he packed her off back to The Radley. We need to be looking at anyone else in the area who’s unaccounted for.”
“There!” Charlotte says. “Was that so hard?”
“Alison wasn’t at the hotel,” Melissa says accusingly. “A sisterly spat over a boyfriend - could lead to enough bad blood for someone to take a whack at you.”
“Speak for yourself!” Alison retorts.
“It wasn’t Ali,” Charlotte declares with a breezy wave. “I drugged her tea after she copped to sleeping with Elliott. I figured I’d need to sneak out and have a little talk with him. About what kind of a game he was playing.”
Alison makes an indignant noise in the back of her throat. “I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t do,” Charlotte scoffs defensively.
“Did you meet him?” Spencer asks, curiously. “Was that the plan?”
“I had a busy schedule,” Charlotte admits. “He was last up on my dance card. I was meeting Mike at the church and then planning to swing by the Two Crows for some apple pie ala Mona, then head over to Rollins’ place to discuss the finer points of monogamy.”
“Okay,” Hanna says, “I’ll bite. What happened when you got to the church?”
“Someone tried to kill me! Haven’t you been paying attention? I went up to the bell tower, so I could see him arrive. I saw Ezra Fitz, a taxi pulling away, some elderly hipster in a fedora lurking across the street. And then I got hit in the back of the head so hard I nearly blacked out. I didn’t even have a chance to roll over before I was being strangled. I clawed at whoever it was as well as I could, but it was no good. I landed one good solid kick right as they tried to throw me off. I went sliding down the roof, grabbed the edge of the gutter and dropped down. I crawled as far as I could. I heard footsteps running towards me, felt someone check my pulse - and then nothing.”
“What do you mean, nothing?” Aria demands. “Next was your funeral. Next was all of us being rung up on attempted murder charges and threatened by emojis!”
“I was keeping things friendly!” Charlotte protests. “Who’s afraid of a devil face and little pink pigs?”
“But how did you fake your death?” Spencer asks, impatiently. “If you were unconscious on the church lawn?”
“It’s not magic, if I tell you how I did the trick,” Charlotte answers, enigmatically.
“You must have had help,” Spencer insists. “An old ally? Or a new one? Rollins? Mary Drake?”
“What do you mean, Mary Drake?” Charlotte says, sharply. “Do you think this is a joke?”
“Did you know about her?” Alison asks.
“She’s my mother, of course I knew about her,” Charlotte replies, shortly.
“So what does she want?” Mona asks. “Why is she here now?”
Charlotte looks at them all in disbelief. “And I’m supposed to be the insane one here? My mother is dead. Mary Drake died twenty years ago.”
“Like mother, like daughter,” Mona observes. “We have Mary Drake on video outside the Lost Woods Resort the night Hanna was taken. She’s alive, and she’s in Rosewood.”
Charlotte looks stunned. Emily notices that Alison is patting her sister’s back gently and not meeting her eyes. “So you didn’t know?” she asks, softly. “She wasn’t - the one you were taking orders from before?”
The silence in the room is absolute. Everyone is waiting to hear whether Charlotte might finally give them an answer that makes sense.
“No,” Charlotte says, more to herself than to Alison. “It can’t be. She would have told me. She would have wanted me to know.”
“Wait a second,” Emily says, putting it together. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Charlotte ignores her and grabs Alison’s hand. “I thought you knew,” she says. “I thought you’d always known. I was taking my orders from Jessica.”