Chapter 4
Clarke knew this idea was crazy. Part of her wanted to travel back in time and pick wood shop over drama. At least with wood shop she wouldn't have to get up on stage and make a fool of herself, right? She'd just get to play with wood and maybe end up with a few splinters or cuts on her fingers. Nothing too big, nothing too.. Show-y.
It had been a week since her first day and for the most part, things had gone quite well. She had managed to keep Octavia’s secret, Bellamy had won his first game and she had even had a few more friendly run-ins with Lincoln, even if her friends didn't know about the last part. Now here she was, forced to memorize a monologue for something as simple as Romeo and Juliet and she was shaking her guts out because of nerves.
That was something that was new to her. She never got nervous. She had led the lacrosse team to state championships two years in a row with the weight of everyone's nerves on her shoulders but her own. She had aced her ACTs without even breaking a sweat because she knew she could do it. But she didn't know if she could do this. She was unsure if she could put past the fear of everyone watching her long enough to perform something as simple as a Shakespearean monologue.
She was set to go onstage, just like the rest of the wannabe actors, and perform in front of all the other auditionees and the one she feared the most judgement from: Anya. She sat perched in her seat, her knee jumping in place as she scanned over the words repeatedly to the point where she felt like she could recite them in her sleep but it still didn't feel like it was enough. She had sat closer to the exit- just in case she needed to make a break for it. As she ran her eyes across the crumpled paper for what felt like the millionth time she felt someone sit down next to her, but who she saw when she turned her head was someone she wasn't expecting.
“What're you doing in here?”
“I got bored sitting in the truck. I finished the run down for the blueprints and I finished my book. I had nothing else to do. I figured I'd come watch you, if you haven't gone up there that is.” Raven whispered towards her, her eyes lighting up even in the darkened house lights of the theater seats.
Fifty people had signed up to audition for the play; twenty-five of those people being in her drama class. Something told her most of those people would end up purposely blowing their audition and choosing to do backstage instead. That thought actually crossed her mind a few times.
“What if Anya sees you?! Raven- the chick is a madman- she'll- I don't know, castrate you or something if she finds out you're in here and not auditioning.”
“I don't have a dick for her to castrate me, Clarke.” Raven smirked, nudging Clarke's arm. “Come on- she's not gonna catch me. Worst comes to worst I just tell her I wanna do backstage or something. Sure I'll be caught in something I don't wanna do but it'll be better than getting in trouble.”
Clarke huffed and turned her attention back to her paper. She hadn't been paying attention to the other students auditioning, mostly to not psych herself out. She knew if that happened she's really be screwed.
“Clarke? Is that-”
“Hello, my name is Octavia Blake and I will be auditioning for the role of Juliet.”
Oh no.
Clarke’s eyes widened when she heard Octavia speak from the stage and she just knew that her friend’s cover was blown. She looked up and saw Octavia perfectly going over the monologue- it was obvious that this was what the girl was preparing when she wasn’t with Raven or their friends, and she had practiced long and hard. It was showing off as she easily made it through the Shakespearean language with no faults- if Octavia didn’t get the part she’d be surprised. Very surprised.
“Clarke?”
Her eyes moved from Octavia on the stage over to Raven, who seemed to be just as impressed but also confused. Clarke didn’t blame her- if she didn’t already know Octavia’s secret she would of been confused as well. Raven's eyes didn't move from Octavia on the stage. Clarke had a feeling that she was going to have to to have to either tell Raven what’s been happening, or somehow sneak off to a different part of the auditorium when Octavia got offstage. She was hoping for the latter.. She didn’t want Raven to hear Octavia’s secret from her.
“I’ll let her explain..” Clarke whispered, watching as Octavia started to walk up the stairs towards her, but froze when she saw Raven next to her. Clarke only shrugged at her and slowly moved to walk down the aisle of chairs, then down the stairs to a different row.
Octavia was probably going to be mad at her for leaving her all alone with Raven at a time like this, but Raven deserved to know. She didn’t deserve to be left in the dark about something was so important and prominent in Octavia’s life. It wasn’t right.
Taking a seat in a different row she tried to go back to reviewing her lines but something stopped her. She felt like she had eyes on her- for some reason or another. Like someone was watching her. Looking over to the side she caught Lincoln looking her way with a glint in his eyes; one that she couldn’t decide what it was. They locked eyes for a moment before he made a motion for him to sit next to her, and for some reason she did. She packed up her things, glanced at Octavia and Raven in the back corner of the room talking, the shuffled her way towards Lincoln in the middle of the seats.
“You look nervous.”
Clarke almost paled. She had to try and cover up herself more often if he could read into her that easily.
“It’s scary how you do that.”
“Do what?”
“Read me like a book. I’m not.. I’m not used to that kind of thing.” Clarke explained, slumping down in the seat next to him. She leaned back and took a small tuft of hair in her hands, twisting it and playing with it out of nerves.
“Bellamy doesn’t read people well?”
Clarke raised an eyebrow. “Why are you asking about Bellamy?”
“He’s a male friend in your life. I know girls can read people easily, but guys are harder to both read and be read by. I only know expressions so well because Lexa is quite dramatic.” Lincoln explained, crossing his ankle to his knee.
Clarke looked at him with a furrowed brow and concerned eyes. What had Lexa being so dramatic about? She sighed and chose against asking him again, both out of fear that Anya will catch her and the fact that she didn’t want to push Lincoln into talking about something that she didn’t want to talk about. They sat in silence, just watching the people auditioning one after the other until it was time for her to audition. And to say the least, she was terrified. She didn’t know how she was going to be able to do this without shitting herself or passing out on the stage. Both of which would make for quite the story to tell, but she didn’t want to be the victim of the story.
As she walked down the aisleway she took deep breaths and tried her hardest to remember the lines that she had memorized and reviewed just minutes prior. But her mind was blanking. Her boots clanked against the wooden stage, creating an echo throughout the quite yet spacious auditorium. Her nerves heightened and she felt sweat start to gather at the back of her neck, making her even more self-conscious about herself in that moment than anything else. The stage lights blinded her but she could still feel each and every pair of eyes on her. She could feel the warmth of the lights beating against her face, making her come off as pale and nervous. And for once in her life, Clarke Griffin was beyond nervous.
But she started the monologue anyways.
And not a single person laughed when she was finished. She had stumbled on her words, she had forgotten a line or two and she didn’t seem to know any more than what she was required to memorize. But she did it. And she was feeling a high that she didn’t know she could possibly feel from something that wasn’t a sport. It was exhilarating, seeing the way people were looking at her as she came down from the stairs even if she knew that it was because she messed up a lot. She was glad that it was over, but at the same time, she kind of liked it.
She had sat back in her spot next to Lincoln when she was finished and the boy only smiled at her and gave her a pat on the shoulder. She assumed that that was the most that Lincoln really showed when it came towards affection to people he didn’t know a lot about. She zoned out during the last few auditioners, but came to when Lincoln nudged her arm. She was about to ask him why he had done that when he pointed towards the stage and Clarke saw her.
Lexa had taken the stage.
The blonde swallowed and sat up straighter, crossing her legs as she listened intently to Lexa speak. It was the most she had heard the brunette talk, and Clarke had grown to like her voice. It was smooth but intimidating, it was soft yet fierce, and she could only imagine how the girl sounded when she was pissed off. It was a sound that she wanted to hear a lot more of.
Lexa was the last to audition and Clarke let out a sigh of relief when Anya announced that they could go home. She packed up her things and looked back to the spot where she had left her friends, but Octavia and Raven were nowhere to be seen. Shaking her head, she decided to walk out of the school with Lincoln and Lexa.
“So… I take it that was your first audition?” Lexa asked, a smirk playing at her face as she walked between Clarke and Lincoln. The close proximity with someone Clarke was slowly becoming infatuated with was overwhelming.
“Am I just that bad at hiding things?” Clarke asked, the question was directed towards Lincoln instead of Lexa. Lincoln chuckled, but nodded. The blonde sighed and turned her attention back towards Lexa. “Yes. It was. I’ve never auditioned for something in my life and I was terrified that I had to get up there and do that. I thought I was going to shit myself. In that moment- I really wished that I had picked wood shop over drama because I can’t act to save my life.” Clarke rambled, talking with her hands and not focusing where she was going.
Lexa was looking at the blonde with a look of amusement. She thought it was cute, how Clarke tended to go on and on. Lincoln, however, was still laughing at the girl. He thought that it was funny how she was seeming to make a fool of herself when she was usually so calm and collected about everything and everyone. It seemed like putting Clarke anywhere near Lexa would diminish that aspect of her; the fact that the girl was a sport-playing, self-proclaimed “badass” went entirely out the window and the blonde was smitten. Lexa, however, didn’t know any of this at this point.
Clarke soon finished her rambling as they exited the school and she blushed, seeing how Lexa was listening to her. She didn’t even realize she was rambling, the words just kept coming out of her mouth and she didn’t seem to know how to stop them. She didn’t want to make any more of a fool of herself.
“So.. Juliet, huh? You and Octavia are some pretty good choices.. I wonder how Anya’s going to choose.” Clarke offered as a topic, wanting to get the spotlight off of herself for once. She didn’t want to make a fool of herself any more than she probably already did.
“Well, we weren’t the only ones to audition for that role. But I do think that we both have a decent chance at obtaining it.” Lexa explained, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. Clarke really should have paid better attention to everyone auditioning, but she really didn’t care if she got a part in the play or not. She had only auditioned because she had to.
“I don’t think Clarke was paying attention much.. She was too busy panicking.” Lincoln chimed in, and when Clarke looked over to him the boy had a smirk on his face. “Poor girl looked like she was going to throw up when she walked away from Octavia and her girlfriend.”
Lexa laughed at his comment and Clarke’s blush deepened. Lincoln seemed to be out to make fun of her and she couldn’t believe him- she thought she could trust him. She sent a glare his way which only made Lexa laugh more, but if Clarke was being honest she’d take the humiliation from Lincoln if it meant Lexa laughing. It was a melodic sound and she really, really wanted to hear more of it.
They continued the walk into the parking lot and ended up passing Bellamy’s truck first, which was almost surprising. Clarke didn’t expect him to park so close to the school; but she assumed that Raven had moved it once the population of their school cleared out, making the parking lot a lot more empty. She walked up to the door and went to open it, but a look of disgust crossed her face upon reaching the window. Seated in the passenger seat was Octavia, which was normal, but Raven was seated atop of her and from Clarke’s point of view it seemed as though Raven was trying to suck Octavia’s soul out through her mouth. Lincoln walked up behind her and his eyes widened, but Lexa only laughed at the looks on their faces.
Clarke huffed and banged on the door, getting the two’s attention. She opened the door with an arched brow and Raven struggled to climb over the console, sitting in the drivers seat.
“Did you two really have to try to get it on in the car? It couldn’t wait until we got back home?” Clarke asked, crossing her arms.
“Hey- it’s not my fault my girlfriend is hot when she’s in her element.” Raven piqued, winking in Octavia’s direction.
Clarke fake gagged. “You two are incredulous.”
Octavia rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Clarke. You’re just jealous that you can’t get any.”
“I totally can!”
“Really?”
“Okay- enough.” Raven interjected. “Are you going to introduce us to your friends, or..?”
Clarke glanced to her side and, just as Raven stated, Lincoln and Lexa were still standing next to her. “Oh.. Sorry. Um, this is Lexa, she’s in O’s and my drama class. And that’s her brother, Lincoln.”
Lexa smiled at the two of them and waved, and Lincoln only nodded with a small smile. Clarke could tell that he wasn’t very expressionful towards those he just met. It seemed to be a pattern occurring, but she didn’t mind it all that much. What mattered was that he was there when someone needed him, and he listened. Which she was grateful for.
“Wait.. He’s your brother? How-”
“Foster brother, but we’ve been together since we were four.” Lexa cut Raven off, having heard that question way too many times for her liking.
“I bet a lot of people think you’re dating.” Octavia commented, straightening up the seat. Clarke moved to open the back door and set her bag on the seat.
“You’d be surprised.” Lincoln stated plainly, moving to walk away. “I’ll be right back, Lex. Grabbing the bike.”
Lexa nodded and turned back towards the group, the smile still evident on her face. “Don’t mind him- he’s really a big softie. He tries to act all mysterious but really he’s a giant puppy dog.”
Octavia smiled. “He definitely plays the mysterious part well. I know Anya said you were knew- where’re you guys from?”
“Washington D.C. Our foster mom used to work in the Smithsonian but she got transferred here when they opened a new museum.” Lexa continued to explain more about her mother’s job and answered the other questions that Raven or Octavia had, but Clarke found herself staring at the girl.
Something about her wanted to memorize Lexa’s features. The way her eyes lit up when a certain subject was brought up. The way her brow furrowed when she had to think a little harder. She was patient with her friends; answering the questions that she wanted to answer and politely refusing the questions she didn’t. Clarke was definitely intrigued by Lexa and she wanted to know everything about her. If only she was brave enough to do so.
They were cut off when a loud engine started to rev from the other side of the building, and all eyes turned to the paved driveway that connected the front and the back of the school. Lexa grinned when she saw a man on a motorcycle come barrelling around the school, while the other three were confused. The man came towards them and Clarke almost screamed, but the man came to a stop a few feet in front of the truck. He removed his helmet revealing a smug looking Lincoln, and Clarke glared at him again.
“Not cool, dude. That was terrifying.” Clarke commented.
“I thought it was hot.”
“Nobody asked you, O.”
Octavia smirked and took Raven’s hand in her own.
Lincoln chuckled at the interaction and reached into the bag connected to the back of his motorcycle and pulled out a spare helmet, handing it to Lexa. Lexa pulled it on and strapped it under her chin, slipping onto the bike behind her brother. Her arms wrapped around his torso and she was snug against him- if Clarke didn’t know any better she would have assumed that she was hugging her boyfriend from behind. That’s probably what a lot of the school thought.
“I’ll talk to you later, guys.” Lexa smiled and waved with one hand, before her hand removed back around Lincoln. The bike revved again and he pulled off, in the opposite direction that the girls had to go in. They were headed towards the less populated part of town, where there was more trees and parks than pavement and buildings. That alone made Clarke wonder.
“So how long is it going to take you to ask her for her number?” Octavia asked as Clarke pulled herself into the back seat. She rolled her eyes and shut the door, looking out the window as Raven buckled herself in and started the truck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, O.”
“Please. Anyone within a fifty mile radius knows you’ve got it bad for Lexa. I saw it on the first day and I saw it today. If you don’t get her number, I’m going to personally get it for you.”
Clarke’s eyes shot to Octavia in the front seat. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me, Griffin.” Octavia smirked and turned around, facing the front.
“Come on, Clarke. It’s not that hard- I’m sure if you ask she’ll give it to you. She seems nice.”
“Lincoln seemed pretty nice, too.”
“Yeah, but you’re taken, love.”
Clarke tuned out her friends and continued out the window, thinking about the interactions that they had that day. Sure, it may of seemed strange that she was taking such a quick liking to Lexa and Lincoln. But that nagging feeling in the back of her mind kept telling her that it was going to be okay. That she was having that interest for a reason, and God only knew what that reason was. As she looked between the seats to where Octavia and Raven were holding hands that feeling grew stronger, and she knew that she was going to have to gain the confidence she needed soon. She had to get Lexa’s number, she just had to.
Part of it felt like it was fate, finally giving her something that she could get herself and be happy about.