They call them the 'Dungeon Duo'. Hogwart's strangest couple, some would whisper as they walked past, only to meet a pair of piercing brown eyes or a particularly powerful hex. Lila Nanase and Jessica Ashwood. The taller of the two girls links her fingers behind the younger girl's head, pulling her close for a tender kiss.
Nobody would have thought they would have become friends, never mind girlfriends. They were so different - one was sugar and warm hugs and bundles of kittens, and the other, spice and fire and filled with ire. And yet, they had slotted together from the moment they had met.
Or, more accurately, they had slotted together after Lila tripped up and spilled her lunch all over the carriage Jess was about to walk into. A mess of buttered bread and meat, now completely inedible on the carpet. Jess offers up her meal and they sit down at the same seat, eating chicken and rice together, talking about their pasts and where they wanted to go next.
They were both half bloods from two different worlds. Lila had only known about the Muggle side of things; her parents never wanted to talk about the magical, always left her at home when they went to work, and had scarcely noticed Lila sneak into Diagon Alley to get her supplies for her first year alone.
Jess grew up in a magical community somewhere near the north of England, hidden in the old mines. Jess tells her a lot about how it was, but nothing about her home life. Baggy clothes hide a too frail body, but Lila's eyes still linger on the shadows under Jess's eyes and the way she sits just slightly out of reach.
Lila doesn't notice when Jess makes sure Lila gets two thirds, but she does notice the dimples in Jess's cheeks when she smiles. She thinks Jess is beautiful.
-x-
They end up in different houses.
This wouldn't have been such a big deal if Jess had other friends in Hogwarts, but most weren't of age, and those that were went to other magical schools. It sucked. She'd just made a friend, too.
It sucked doubly being sorted into Slytherin. Her being a halfblood wasn't a problem - they didn't know that at all. Nobody did - she was an unknown and her father, for all intents and purposes, was a rich pureblood from Jamaica.
It was the fact that other students went from smiling and cheering her on to stony silences and glaring, and generally assuming the worst. She didn't know what she'd supposedly done wrong. It wasn't her choice, was it? So she would become the worst. She'd fight back against anyone who dared go against her, but not unjustly.
Lila found herself within the Hufflepuffs. The hat had very nearly launched into song when it touched her head, filled and over brimming with Lila's happiness, but it composes itself when it ees everything else.
The hat makes a decision to split her from Jess, even when Lila pleads with it to put her in the same house. The girl has seen too much hatred in her life already and the hat, strangely, just wants her happy and safe.
This does not stop Lila from becoming Jess's potions partner. She wouldn't leave her side, no matter what the sorting hat thought.
Jess was friendly enough with the Hufflepuff house - friendly enough to hang around so often without a second glance. Even the Head of House didn't chuck her out. A relief.
Being able to continue seeing Lila was the best thing ever, though. A lot better than the nightmares or the bullies or the worry for when she'd have to go home. Jess doesn't tell Lila about the bullying, because she can handle herself. It's Lila she's worried about, and it's Lila she starts fighting for whenever anyone tries to speak against her.
Lila says she can fight her own battles, but when she's crying in Jess's arms after someone punches her in the face, Jessica snaps.
The bully ends up with red skin for a month that no spell is able to fully remove - he keeps red blotches for the next year after that, so he keeps his distance.
Lila is sleeping against her shoulder on one of the evenings before Christmas break, and Jessica doesn't want her to go home. She will, of course - she was so excited about it - and Jess can't stop her, but she'll be missed, blonde hair and bright smiles and all.
"I think I'm falling in love with you," Jess murmurs.
She doesn't think Lila is awake.
But she is, and Lila knows she's already in love.
-x-x-
Dear Lila,
Merry Christmas! I've sent your present and the book you left behind. You're not getting out of doing your homework that easily! Also, sorry if Alpha tries scratching up your pillows again. He's getting a little fussy at the minute, so I've sent some owl treats along as well should he start 'badgering' you for them. Better prepared than not, right?
See you next year,
Jess
-x-x-
The black owl glides through Lila's open window, depositing the letter. It's enclosed in green and yellow striped ribbon, and Lila thinks it's perfect. The ribbon finds its way onto every letter they send each other from then on - a reminder of their friendship.
Lila misses Jess, too, even as her parents call her down for dinner. She had really wanted Jess to come that year, but Jess had said she wasn't allowed. Her heart skips a beat when Alpha suddenly screeches, pecking at one of the mice trying to climb through the floorboards.
It's nature, but it's still upsetting when Alpha leaves with the mouse in its claws.
-x-x-x-
"Why are you looking at men's body wash?"
"Maybe I want to smell like fuckin' pine trees, I dunno."
It's third year, now. She's made friends with Rose, one of the other Slytherins, but neither of them know each other that well yet. Hogsmeade has a beauty products shop - all new stuff - and Jess just fancies a change. Vanilla was getting old. Jess finds herself bumping elbows with the shorter teen more than a few times.
"Is it for Lila?"
"Don't be daft."
She also still fancies Lila, but that's not a change. She's resolved to not telling her, though - it's awkward, more so if Lila doesn't return her feelings, and she just isn't comfortable yet. She's never loved a woman before. Or anyone, really, like this. She wants to be sure.
Still, Lila smiles at her from the Hufflepuff table at lunch times and Jess's cheeks heat up over the mashed potatoes.
They share Divination together, and Jess finds she's pretty good at it. She sees the sun in both of their teacups one time when they're practicing in the dormitory, just before Lila drops her cup onto one of the rugs. Butter fingers.
Lila is her sun. Bright and warm and the centre of her world.
The Boy-Who-Lived is two years under them, and though Lila makes friends with him early on, Jessica avoids him with a wide berth. Ron hisses something about Slytherins and Lila gets really upset with him for the next month.
Still, the bullies pick up on it and start calling her a death eater.
-x-x-x-
In the early hours of the morning, when most students were sound asleep, Lila and Jess were still chatting. It was the Hufflepuff dormitories, yellow and black everywhere, and they'd discovered the usage of silencing spells fairly early on.
Lila lies in front of Jess, not at all minding the elbows nudging her back, talking about anything and everything.
"Jess," Lila says, a little later, "do you ever wonder...?"
Jess zones in on her, propping herself up on one pointed elbow. "Yeah?"
Lila trails off.
"What things would be like without Hogwarts?"
There's a silence.
"Nope," Jess said. She grabbed a pillow and hit Lila with it. "Quit worrying. Hogwarts isn't going anywhere."
That isn't what Lila is worried about.
-x-x-x-
Jess starts finding ways to avoid Lila. It isn't intentional, and she doesn't even notice at first. She's just trying to get out of meals and it means extended spell practice and more time in the library.
Lila isn't silly, though - she starts finding ways to just be there without invading, and Jess appreciates that. They start holding hands when the weather gets colder, and Lila starts sharing her food with Jess more often than not.
Just gals being pals.
(Jess makes sure Lila gets most of it.)
-x-x-x-
Lila is beautiful. From her lion's mane of blonde hair to her bunny slippers, from the way her smile lights up rooms, from the way her eyes crease when Jess tells her a funny joke.
Sometimes, Lila doesn't see it in herself, so Jess takes to taking sneaky pictures or drawing her friend when she isn't looking. When their hair frizzes up from practicing potions, or when she's been laughing so much that she's come undone. She puts them all in the Lila Book. When she's got enough courage, she'll give it to Lila.
Lila bonds well with the magical creatures. She's a big fan of a lot of the creatures Hagrid brings in. Jess usually hears about it afterwards because they don't share the class, but she's happy people are making sure she's safe.
Hagrid starts inviting them both to his hut after one lesson. Lila genuinely enjoys his rock buns and Jess stocks up on new weapons. He becomes like a second dad to the both of them. Or the first, in some aspects.
-x-x-x-x-
The bullies get worse in fourth year. No longer content with just name calling, they start getting physical, snatching Jess's wand and leaving her with bruises and at least one trip to the medical wing. They snap her wand in front of her, so she goes and gets herself another.
This is also the year that Jess finds out she can talk to snakes. At least, she thinks she might be. It's too similar of a coincidence that Jess finds out Harry Potter can talk to snakes too, and that her gift means evil things. She doesn't tell anyone, but Lila catches her hissing in her sleep sometimes.
It isn't until she wakes up in the Hospital Wing with Pomfrey tutting over her injuries (and her unhealthily low weight, but Jess just tells her it's a growth spurt) and Lila with red rimmed eyes that Jess realises this has gone too far.
She tells Lila that her clumsiness must have rubbed off after she faints from not eating enough. She's always cold. Always cold.
-x-x-x-x-
Jess finds Lila beautiful when they have their first kiss, too. It's sudden, It's Lila who makes the first move, and it's shocking. Jess knows her magic is reacting to this, knows that there's a couch on fire somewhere in the corridor, but it isn't their problem anymore. Instead, she focuses on bringing Lila closer to her, unwilling to let go.
If this is a dream, she doesn't want to wake up. Not yet.
This is new, and Jess wouldn't give her up for the world, even if their hair gets tangled together when they finally pull away, breathless and... happy.
Lila smiles, a little wryly, Jess knows, and traces Jess's frail wrist.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Fifth year. This is where the arguments start. Lila doesn't want to see Jess starving herself and Jess denies it.
"Then what's this!?" Lila cries, exasperated.
Lila pulls up Jessica's shirt. Rib after rib and a valley of emaciated bones. Jess is all angles and edges and Lila doesn't understand why she's doing this to herself.
"Growth spurt."
Her voice is shaking, though, and she's shocked enough that Lila apologises. It's too sudden.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jess starts eating again, but it's a struggle. Lila starts sneaking into the Slytherin dormitories when Jess stops showing her face around the school, just to make sure she's eating or talking or generally alive, because nobody else will.
They spend a lot of time in the same bed, just cuddling and talking. Sometimes Lila talks enough for both of them. Sometimes they'll actually exchange enough words to call it a conversation. Sometimes they just lie there silently and skip half of the day's lessons.
Jess finds herself bursting into tears sometimes. She's so sick of this. She might just-
-x-x-x-x-x-
St. Mungos. It's gotten worse, so bad, so quick. She can't keep anything down and she doesn't want visitors.
Fatigue. Dizziness. Fainting. Seizures.
Lanugo develops, her skin grows dry and her hair's gotten thin. Her left leg breaks a few days before her admission after she falls down the stairs.
Lila keeps sending her mail, which the attendants drop off on her night stand, but she can't bring herself to read any of it.
Her parents don't even attempt to show up.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Eventually, they think she's getting better. She starts to eat a little, starts to get closer to a healthy weight. She's still tired and cold all of the time, but she's recovering.
She starts reading the letters.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Jess fails her O.W.Ls, understandably, but so does Lila. Lila smiles knowingly when the results come; her parents think she's passed, but they're still not really paying attention.
Lila had failed on purpose because she hadn't wanted to leave Jess behind, but she'd also been the one to fight for them both to redo the year to her Head of House and Headmaster. She wouldn't give up, and she wouldn't let Jess give up either.
Jess is finally released from St. Mungos just before the summer holidays start. This is when she starts sending letters. Lila doesn't blame her for it, but it does take some rekindling.
-x-x-x-x-x-
The Goblet of Fire starts when they come back to repeat the year. Only sixth and seventh years can apply, and because they've both been held back, it makes Lila happy to know that neither of them will be put at that much risk again.
Still, it doesn't stop Harry Potter from getting drawn, and Jess rubs reassuring circles on her girlfriend's back when she starts to panic.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Lila is the one in the library, this time. She's been reading up on things, she's been eating well, and she's even gotten Jess to eat a bit better.
It just so happens, however, that she's fallen asleep, cheek resting against some old herbology book. Jessica watches her from the other end of the table, head lifted beyond the boundary of books and notebooks Hermione had deposited earlier. Lila was all messy hair and smiles, and she'd blossomed further than the budded flower she had been a few years ago.
Now, she was fully in bloom, and Jess was the gardener. Let her sleep.