The frustration that accompanied being romantically involved with Tobin Heath was an immense weight on the shoulders of Alex Morgan.
They were both interested in each other, even someone, outside of their normal circle of friends could have picked up on their feelings of mutual attraction.
They were both interested. Past the interest, there was an apparent one sided yearning on Alex’s behalf to move past the infantile stage of their brewing relationship.
Alex tried to come up with excuses for Tobin’s disinterest, mostly, her lack of making the distance to come and see Alex sometimes. Yes, Orlando was indeed a long way out from Portland but Alex often found herself, traveling the distance to go and see Tobin on the occasional holiday.
Tobin was more than happy to accommodate Alex in the warmth of her bed for however long the woman decided she wanted to stay. She did her best to not only make Alex feel welcomed, but also fulfill every request Alex conjured up in her mind.
It was electrifying really. Words couldn’t begin to fathom the excitement that lingered in Alex’s mind at the thought of getting Tobin to commit to something other than football. She was getting a bit ahead of herself though, something that would take months of skipping around the fine line between being interested, being together, or just plain right being an ass to decipher.
**
It hit her rock, or more like a soccer ball if she was trying to make sense of it all.
She was in a one sided relationship.
Alex stopped dead in her tracks once she realized what her relationship with Tobin actually was. It was one sided, or at least appeared to be, and until she got confirmation from Tobin, which was rather difficult and would probably never come, she was in an one sided relationship.
She happened to be idly browsing on her phone at the time, looking for good deals on plane tickets to Portland, when it hit her. How many times had Tobin actually been here to see me?
Tobin didn’t even know what Alex’s apartment looked like, in the flesh anyway; they had the occasional facetime and she would catch bits and pieces of it.
Alex was always the one going out on the limb to try and reach out to Tobin, but Tobin, when Alex put some thought to it, never actually gave Alex anything to pull herself.
Alex thanked God for the blessing enlightenment because she was becoming the sun right now. She had been so caught up in the excitement of being with Tobin that she never realized that she wasn’t actually with Tobin.
Yes, they called each other baby and whispered sweet nothings to each other in the middle of the night but there wasn’t any real substance to their relationship, just a lovely surface.
Alex let it play out for a few months more after her epiphany, certain that Tobin would take responsibility and reciprocate whatever feelings it was that Alex harbored in her heart for Tobin, it never came though and Alex suddenly found herself, straying from the romantic ideals that came with Tobin Heath and tried to focus more on finding someone who could meet her needs.
**
8:52 pm | Alex: What are we?
Alex’s sudden change in behavior over the last few months had been puzzling to Tobin. She had stopped coming down to Portland, which in turn produced many lonely nights for her down on the West Coast.
Tobin had been racking her brain, trying to figure out what it was she had done wrong, but her mental investigations would often come up short, so she tried to ask Alex.
8:54 pm| Tobin: What’s with your mood lately, you’ve not been my Alex recently.
8:55 pm| I don’t think I was ever your Alex, I’m fine, but you have some things you need to figure out and prioritize.
8:55 pm| Tobin: I was never good at riddles, could you help me out?
8:56 pm| I can’t solve this one for you Tobin, goodnight.
Morning never came, at least for Tobin because after that night, Alex never messaged her good morning again, or good afternoon or goodnight again for that matter, even after Tobin had texted her good morning the night after. The line had gone cold, and Tobin would really have to figure this one out for herself.
She couldn’t though, even after hours of concentration and prayer asking for God’s help, she couldn’t figure out what the issue was, so she enlisted the help of her friend, Lindsey.
“So, I’m having this problem, with this girl ..”
“Okay … What’s the problem?”
“That’s the problem, she says there is, but I don’t know what it is and she wants me to figure out what the problem is.”
“If you can’t figure out what the problem is then maybe you two shouldn’t be together.”
“Who said anything about being together?”
Lindsey raised her chin in realization.
“ahh, that’s probably the problem right there. I think she wants more, and you’re .. well you’re you. You’re just so content sometimes, you don’t realize there’s so much more to get.”
“So you think she wants a relationship?”
“Highly likely.”
This was new to Tobin. She had never really been in a proper relationship before; her schedule wouldn’t allow it. She was always on the go, and someone always needed her somewhere, a normal person, with a steady 9-5 job would soon grow frustrated of the constant movement. Therefore, Alex appeared to be the perfect fit, once she gave some thought it. Aside from her also being a footballer, she was very patient, something you needed to be when you were dealing with someone as unconsciously oblivious as Tobin; she made Tobin happy, Tobin loved it when Alex came to visit her, for however long she was there, her apartment was always a bit brighter and felt less like an apartment and more like a home. Alex was a great catch and Tobin was blessed to have found someone like Alex in her lifetime.
**
Tobin’s resurrection from the state of ignorance appeared to be too late however. Alex had posted a picture on Instagram with another guy and captioned it, “Date night”.
Tobin honestly wanted to vomit. She had been on such a high after finally working out the cause of Alex’s indifference that she had forgotten that she actually needed to tell Alex that she had worked out her issues and was ready for a serious relationship.
Tobin wouldn’t give up though, she couldn’t. No matter how much she ignored it, her heart belonged to Alex, the intensity of those feelings however weren’t apparent to Tobin until that very moment when she saw Alex wrapped in the arms of another. It was sad that such a thing had to happen for Tobin to realize what she felt, but she was still happy that she did.
Tobin didn’t hesitate in finding the earliest flight out to Orlando that night.
**
Tobin had gotten directions to Alex’s house from Ashlyn and she was currently standing outside of her house, in the middle of the day praying that Alex would be home.
There was no emotional greeting at the door, but even as oblivious as Tobin claimed to be, she didn’t miss the way Alex’s eyes lit up at the sight of her before retreating behind Alex’s shield of emotional defense.
“What are you doing here?” Alex asked rather coldly.
“I came to see you.” Tobin said simply, which was really why she came, she wanted to show Alex that she too could take the initiative to travel 3,033 miles to see the woman who she loved.
“I’m sorry it took so long for me to come, but I had to figure out some things.” Tobin said trying to get a smile out of Alex.
Tobin faltered a bit when Alex didn’t budge, but she didn’t fly all this way to give up so easily.
“Well, it took you a bit too long, I’m seeing someone.”
“Come on Al, let’s be real, you would never date that dude, and if you did, being with him wouldn’t make you half as happy as being with me would.”
Tobin was right, but Alex wasn’t about to let Tobin win so easily.
“Why should I forgive you?”
“Because I finally realized what I want and what you want me to give you, Alex, I can give you the walks on the beach, the romantic dates that you only see in movies, the lovely times that you get butterflies for every time you think about, I can give you all that sappy stuff, but that’s not what you want, you want the security of knowing that my heart is set on you just as yours is to me, you want to know that I’ll reciprocate what you feel for me, which I do by the way, you want to know that –“
Alex cut Tobin off with a well-earned kiss ( which some of the parents watching from the park across the street might have called inappropriate considering there was children around and that much tongue wasn’t really necessary )What Tobin was saying was quite true, but she’d much rather taste Tobin’s promises than hear them at that very moment.
“When did you get so smart?” Alex asked, bit breathless from their sudden exchange. She kept her eyes closed, wanting to remember the exact moment Tobin realized exactly where she needed to be.
“I had a lot of time to think, 3,033 miles is a long way, and I’d take the journey an infinite amount of times if it means you’re happy.” Tobin finished capturing Alex’s lips in hers again.