Wonderland

Quincy's P.O.V.

"I am destined... There is no changing that... I have to go, before I hurt anyone, like Quentin did..." I mumbled into the thick morning air. Kitty squeezed me harder against herself, gripping my jacket in her hands.

"No," she sobbed into my back, shaking terribly. "You can't leave! I refuse to let you go!" She sounded angry, but not quite. She sounded so different than I had ever heard her before. She sounded scared.

"Please, Kit. You don't even want me here. You hate me! I would have thought you would have jumped at the chance to destroy me before I destroy anything," I said, prying her hands from my person. I turned and faced her, her hands still held in mine. I looked into her beautiful purple eyes, watching the swirls of pink in them slowly dim. It's a strange thing but is normal for magical beings.

"I don't hate you, you asshole! I hate what you did to me! I hate that you just walked away! I hate everything that ever happened between us, because I know it was a lie! But no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I want to -- and I really want to -- I can't hate you! I'm an idiot, because I fell for the lies and deceit, but I still love you! And, I am going to make sure you live the life you were destined, happy and carefree... Because I... I love you, dumb-ass..." she sobbed, tears running in streams down her face. I wiped them away with my thumb.

"You know, you could have just told me you love me, instead of calling me a dumb-ass, right?" I asked, chuckling. I felt my eyes well up. "I never lied to you..."

"Don't start that," she said, pushing away. I held onto her, pulling her back to my chest.

"As a prince, I -- ," I sighed, not knowing how to put things. "Tradition dictates that I don't marry for love but rather purely for political gain and so forth. My mother wanted me to do as tradition told, as my father had. Lucky for him, he fell for my mother, and she him." Kitty looked up at me, eyes unbelieving.

"So, if what you say is true--" she began.

"It is, wholly and completely!" I interrupted.

"If you're telling me the truth, then why," she said and smacked me hard, " not just tell me, instead of letting me think that you were such a fuckboy!?" She continued to hit my chest hard.

"Because," I said, grabbing both her wrists so that the assault would end, "I didn't want to hurt you."

"And you think that that was painless!?"

"Well, no..."

"You think lying about that made things better!?" she said as she freed her hands from my grip.

"Well, I --"

"You are a special kind of stupid, Quincy!"

"I --"

"How could you think that!? I mean, really!?"

"I didn't want you to think me a coward because I just did as my mother told me and ran away with my tail between my legs!" I blurted out. I backed up and looked away, scared to see Kitty's face.

"You were scared I would think that you -- ?" she repeated, trailing off and huffing out a breath, as if she couldn't believe her ears. "You -- ?" she tried, but her words fell short.

All was quiet, the world waiting for us to move. Kitty fought with herself, arms swinging up and down and back and forth as she tried to understand my weak motives. I just waited, hoping she would understand and not hate me...

"I wouldn't have thought you were cowardly if you had told me..." she said, sighing. I looked back at her, and her face was worn with frustration. "Even if you had told me the day, week, month after why. I would have understood."

"Really?" I asked, eyes widening.

"Yes, ... but now ... you really are a coward."

"...what?" I looked her in the eye, knowing my face showed my grief and hurt.

"You waited a year! I mean, why!? Why wait so long -- make me wait so long -- for the truth to come out?" she asked. I hadn't an answer. "Quincy, I --," she sighed, "I can't. Knowing that you didn't love me enough to fight, to - to try, to tell me the truth so we could work it out together. I can't..." she said solemnly.

"Kitty..." I said, reaching out to touch her hand. She pulled away and shook her head.

"I don't hate you. I still love you, but I -- I can't like you right now." She turned and left, running to the hotel. I tried to follow her, tried to call after her, but I couldn't; I couldn't do a thing. I just stood there, like a fool, reaching out for a girl that didn't want to look at me, let alone be with me. I just stood there and let the hours pass on by.

Kitty's P.O.V.

I ran up to Maddi and my room, slamming and locking the door behind me, not that it would keep anyone out. I slumped against the door, sitting on the floor, head back. I just sat there, eyes running with tears, but not making a sound.

I skipped the dance. I didn't feel like pretending to be happy and alright for the night. I just wanted to sit.

I wanted to not exist...