Chapter 6
“Where are you taking me?” Clarke muttered for the millionth time
“Patience, sky girl” Lexa replied, navigating the woodland with ease. “It is not much further”
Clarke’s legs were aching, and she was worn out; She may have been feeling much better, but her muscles were still weak from her starvation. They had ridden most of the way, but a few miles back Lexa had declared the woodland too dense for the horses, and had tied them up next to a stream. Lexa was carrying a large leather satchel of sorts, yet she showed no signs of tiring, unlike Clarke.
Thankfully, even Clarke - who was not used to the layout of the woods - could see that the dense forest was thinning out, and the hints of daylight were breaking through the dense canopy above her. The woods were alive with sounds, but in addition to the sounds Clarke had grown to expect, there was another, unidentifiable sound; it was a sound Clarke was not familiar with, and it intrigued her.
“Good. Because in case you haven’t noticed, i’m not superhuman like you” Clarke grumbled, almost tripping up over a loose tree root.
“You really should watch where you are putting your feet, skaiprisa” Lexa replied, a smile playing on her lips. Clarke could almost hear the laughter in her voice.
“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind Lexa” Clarke muttered darkly, the heat and exhaustion souring her mood “Besides, there were no stupid roots to trip over in the Ark”
Lexa doubled back and grabbed Clarke’s hand; Clarke felt her skin light on fire, a jolt of electricity shooting down her body at the contact. Clarke let herself be pulled along by Lexa, whose nimble feet easily found the best route through the undergrowth. She stopped looking at her feet, instead she focussed on Lexa. She watched the way she effortlessly moved through the trees, becoming one with the woodland around her; she saw the was her muscles rippled under her black undershirt - at some point during the trek Lexa had removed her overcoat, something which Clarke was thankful for.
“Close your eyes” Lexa commanded softly, stopped in her tracks
“Why?” Clarke replied, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion
“Just do it” Lexa demanded, impatience and something that sounded almost like excitement tinging her voice.
Clarke hesitated, and Lexa obviously decided she had waited long enough, and moved behind Clarke, wrapping her hands around Clarke’s eyes. The sudden blindness was disorientating, and Clarke desperately tried to prise Lexa’s hands away, but to no avail.
“You better not be leading me to my death commander” she joked lightly, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of being led blindly through the remainder of the forest. She wondered how far it was to go, when suddenly the ground changed beneath her feet, and she felt the sun on her skin.
The air seemed fresher, and there was a funny tang to it…it was almost salty.
“We’re here” Lexa murmured, her breath tickling the back of Clarke’s neck. A shiver ran through her.
“Can I see?” She asked, motioning to Lexa’s hands, which here still covering her eyes
Lexa didn’t say a word, and silently moved away, uncovering Clarke’s eyes.
It took a moment to adjust to the blinding brightness, but once she did she was astounded by the sight. The first thing she registered was the water; a vast expanse of it, a mix of the most beautiful blues she had ever seen in her life. The deep blue on the horizon blended seamlessly into turquoise as it neared the shore, and right where it met the shore it was crystal clear.
Quite simply, it was breathtaking.
The beach was just as her dad has described it, but better. She felt so close to him, like he was there with her, experiencing that moment too. He had longed to come to earth, and she knew he would have given anything to have been there with her, to have felt the hot sand between his toes and to smell the salt in the air.
Long suppressed emotion bubbled to the surface, and Clarke found her knees giving way as the pain of her father’s death wracked through her in big, racking sobs. She couldn’t stop herself; the anguish and grief she had buried deep inside for years had finally making an appearance, refusing to let itself go unfelt. Clarke felt like she was breaking into a million pieces, she felt like she would never be whole again. Her whole world had been turned upside down the day her father was floated. She missed him so much she thought she would burst.
Suddenly she became aware of strong arms holding her close, and a soothing voice murmuring trigedasleng into her ear. The gentle murmurs anchored her, and slowly the sobbing decreased in intensity, before ebbing away altogether. Clarke felt exhausted, but she also felt…good. Like all that emotion had needed to be set free, she had needed to allow herself to release it.
After a few moments she turned to face Lexa, who was sitting next to her on the sand, her arms wrapped around Clarke, pulling her in. Lexa’s face was knitted with concern, and she looked pained.
“I’m sorry” Clarke whispered, her voice slightly hoarse
“You never have to apologise to me StrikSkaifaya” Lexa urged, and her voice was soft and gentle. “I am sorry too, I thought you would like the beach. I said I would take you and yo-“
“It’s not that Lexa” She promised “I love it, I really do. It’s just, it made me think of my dad, and I felt things that i’d never really let myself feel before.”
Lexa nodded in understanding
“Do you really like the beach?” Lexa asked after a while
“It’s beautiful” Clarke replied honestly, looking out past the vast expanse of the ocean
“Like you” Lexa murmured, so quietly it was a barely detectable, and Clarke almost thought she had imagined it. But one look at the expression on the other girl’s face and she knew she hadn’t.
“And you” She replied, her heart in her mouth.
Lexa turned to her, looking into her eyes, her green eyes studying her, almost as if she was searching for something.
The sunlight illuminated Lexa’s features, and she looked truly beautiful. She looked serene, and happy. Clarke had seen the carefully contracted mask of heda, she had seen her worried, she had seen her sleeping, she had seen her relaxed. But never had Clarke seen her as happy as she looked in that moment. Lexa had always had a part of herself locked away, guarded from pain, but there, on the beach, the guards were down. Lexa was allowing Clarke to see her properly, to see her without a mask.
A rush of something strong crashed over her, and it took her a moment before she identified what it was; love.
But it wasn’t directed at her father, it was directed at the girl standing beside her, looking slightly nervous. The girl who had found her and saved her, who had refused to leave her side whilst she was unconscious. The girl who had laid with her whilst she slept, warding off the nightmares and flashbacks that came with sleep.
Clarke felt the last few stabs of anger, of betrayal, fade away, and in that moment she realised something.
She was falling in love with Lexa, and she had made up her mind.
“Lexa” She said softly, drinking in the beauty of the girl before her “I’m ready now”
In a heartbeat Lexa leaned in and her lips were on Clarke’s, her hand reaching around and tangling itself in Clarke’s braids. Clarke’s hand rested on the small of Lexa’s back, and she was oblivious to everything except the feeling of Lexa’s lips on her own. They were so soft, and she tasted earthy. The kiss was unlike any other Clarke had experienced before; electricity coursed through her veins, ultimately settling between her legs. Clarke flicked her tongue against Lexa’s lips, seeking entry, something Lexa gladly granted. She explored Lexa’s mouth with a fiery passion, and the feeling of Lexa’s tongue in her own mouth made her whimper quietly. The kiss was heating up, lips becoming more forceful, tongues crashing against each other. Lexa nipped at Clarke’s lower lip, earning a sharp intake of breath, and causing a shudder to run through her body, stoking the fire between her legs.
They kissed for what seemed like forever, time seemingly standing still. They kissed until it was clear that they had to stop before they reached the point of no return, and neither of them were ready for that…yet. No matter whether their bodies were trying to tell them otherwise.
They finally broke apart, panting slightly, drawing air into their lungs. Clarke could still taste the woodsy scent of Lexa, and she smiled. She was so happy. Her emotions had done a U-turn; she had gone from feeling so broken, to feeling on top of the world.
Lexa’s face was flushed, something Clarke had never seen before, and she looked slightly ragged; a stark contrast to usual - Lexa was always so put together. Lexa was smiling, and Clarke swore it was the biggest smile she had ever seen on Lexa’s usually stoic face.
Lexa laid back against the sand, and pulled Clarke with her. Clarke laid her head on Lexa’s chest, closed her eyes, and fell asleep to the gentle rise and fall of Lexa’s chest, and the crashing of the waves against the shore.
For the first time since she arrived on earth, she felt at peace.
She felt safe.
— —
She came round to the feel of Lexa tracing small circles along her arm, the sun still high in the sky. Clarke had no idea how long they had been on the beach, but time seemed to stand still there. It was somewhere where they could be themselves; not Heda and Wanheda, just Lexa and Clarke.
“Hey” she smiled, her voice thick with sleep
Lexa smiled back at her, the most peaceful she had ever been
“Hi” Lexa replied. She looked slightly distant, lost in thought
“What are you thinking about?”
Lexa’s eyes seemed to refocus, and she shifted position
“You” Lexa stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Lexa was nothing if not honest.
“Lexa?”
“Yes klark?”
“What does strikskaifaya mean? I mean, you don’t have to tell me, it’s just that you say it a lot and-” She rushed her words out, instantly regretting them. Lexa could close off at the littlest things, and Clarke didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment. She needn't have worried, as Lexa just smiled softly
“It means little star” Lexa shifted her weight onto her other arm “I can stop if you do not like it”
“No, I like it” Clarke assured her “It’s…sweet, like you. You have a soft side, Commander”
“If you tell anyone, I will have to kill you” Lexa replied, her face stoic and unreadable. For a moment Clarke thought she was serious, but then a huge grin spread over her face and Clarke relaxed. Lexa was joking.
Lexa was actually joking.
Lexa suddenly stood up, and Clarke sat up, startled by the sudden movement.
“Lexa, what are you doing?” She questioned, as Lexa began pulling off her clothes. Clarke had to stop herself from gasping at the sight of Lexa with no shirt on. Her muscles were perfectly toned, and her olive skin was decorated in swirling black designs. She really was beautiful.
Once she was in just her bindings and undershorts, Lexa pulled Clarke up by the hand.
“Come, Klarkkomskaikru, we are going swimming”
“I don’t know how to swim!” Clarke protested, but she began to get undressed anyway. For once in her life, she didn’t feel self conscious. Lexa had this way of making her at ease with herself, both internally and externally.
“Then I shall teach you!” Lexa said, her green eyes dancing with excitement, with life. Lexa grabbed her hand and pulled her across the sandy beach, towards the water.
They stayed in the water long after their feet had gone numb from the cold, and the sun had begun to set. If anyone had seen them in that secluded haven, they would have seen two ordinary girls, two children, having fun - no worries in the world.
On that beach, in that moment, they were free; free to leave their titles behind, and the burdens that came with them.
They were free to be themselves.