Imagine Your OTP's

"You look so beautiful, Raven."

Raven Reyes glances over her shoulder and smiles at her friend, "Thank you."

"Not to toot my own horn, but I've always said red and black are definitely your colors." Anya smirks and Raven chuckles as her friend takes a sip of her drink and arches an eyebrow. "So, toot motherfuckin' toot."

"Tell me why you're my friend again?" Raven teases as she leans against the wall and watches as Anya purses her lips in silent thought while Raven licks her lips. "Thank you for throwing me a party, Anya."

"Hey, it gave me an excuse to bring out the booze and babes." Anya points out as she lifts her glass in a silent show of excitement before her smile slips slightly. "And I wanted to make you smile, you haven't smiled much lately."

Raven falters at the honesty, "I uh I've just been tired..."

"Tired? Yeah. Sure." Anya nods.

"Anya, please..."

"It's your birthday party so I'll let this go for now, but eventually we're going to talk about this. I hate seeing you like this." Anya sighs. "Go get a drink and stop thinking about it, okay? Have fun tonight."

"I will. Thank you for this, Anya." Raven smiles. "Really."

"Hey," Anya lowers her voice as she steps forward to press a finger to Raven's chin before she lifts her head so she can lock their gazes. "You should know by now that I'd do anything for you, anything to see that smile."

Raven blushes and rolls her eyes, "Someone else once said that to me."

"Well, I mean it. I really, really do." Anya assures her before she ducks her head and presses a quick kiss to Raven's forehead. "Now, go get drunk or I'll kick your ass. I bought a shit ton of booze and I want it all gone by the time this night is over."

"Yes ma'am." Raven chuckles.

Anya slips away and Raven watches her go with a fond expression; she doesn't know what she'd do if she didn't have her best friends. While the girl she loves is millions of miles away, they stay by her side with words of comfort. Raven manages to catch a drink from someone and she sips slowly at the mixed drink before she looks to the clock and then slides her gaze towards the door.

"You need to stop moving." Octavia scolds.

Raven rolls her eyes in annoyance, "No. I wanna go to bed."

"You have a concussion, you're not doing anything but laying on that couch and waiting for your girlfriend to come home so she can nurse your ass back to a healthy state. So, no moving." Octavia scoffs. "And that is the last time I ever allow you on my bike."

"It's not my fault that I fell of it!" Raven huffs.

"Raven, the bike wasn't even moving. It was too heavy for your little chicken arms and when it tipped over you smacked your head on the sidewalk." Octavia reminds her with a small laugh before she shakes her head. "So, it is your fault."

"I plead the fifth." Raven hums.

"Hey, leave the lawyer speak to me. I'm the one in law school, remember? I'll leave the car talk to you, and you leave the legal stuff to me." Octavia orders with a playful smile as she glares at the girl. "Where exactly is your girlfriend?"

Raven shrugs, "Dunno. Studying?"

As if on cue, the door bursts open and a frantic blonde pours into the open space. Octavia can barely hold back her laugh as she watches Clarke frantically stand and brush herself off before she looks towards Raven; the brunette on the couch smiles adoringly while blue eyes take a moment to look at the white gauze on her girlfriend's face. Raven sees it all through the look on Clarke's face; the relief, the worry, the love. It causes her breath to catch and she sees Clarke shake her head before the blonde easily toes off her shoes and tosses her jacket on the hook. All is silent in the apartment until Clarke moves to lean over the back of the couch and presses a gentle kiss to dark locks.

"Baby, I'm right here." Clarke whispers into her hair.

Raven jumps as someone nudges gently past her and she shakes herself from the memory before her gaze flickers towards the door again, she knows she'd do anything to have Clarke rush through that door with those words on the tip of her tongue. Laughter fades to background noise around her and the Christmas lights that decorate the apartment dim away as she loses herself in staring at that stupid door.

She considers texting Clarke, but she remembers how annoyed her girlfriend had gotten the last time she had flooded her phone with random texts. Raven wonders when their relationship had changed so drastically, when she herself became so serious all the time. The laughter in her eyes has dimmed to silence and the sarcasm is locked deep in the back of her throat; she just doesn't see the need to be funny anymore.

The one laugh she wants to hear so desperately, the one person she wants to always find her funny, hasn't played into her jokes for months. Raven sighs softly as she looks at the clock and resides herself to the fact that Clarke probably wasn't going to be coming tonight and that she needed to just accept it. With a hard swallow, Raven tips her cups against her lips and allows the pain to burn away under the taste of alcohol.

"Wow, I finally get a second with you."

Raven feels a roll of relief at the familiar green eyes, "Hey, O."

"Hi, babe. Happy birthday." Octavia rasps as she leans forward to press four quick kisses to Raven's cheek. "I can't wait for you to open my gift, Lincoln and I spent months arguing about it but I finally convinced him it was perfect."

"Oh dear God," Raven breathes out. "Is it a living creature?"

"No." Octavia pouts. "He said that you and Clarke wouldn't want a puppy."

"I doubt Clarke would even notice we had a puppy, she's never home anyway." Raven snorts and instantly she bites down at her lower lip as the confession slips from her. "Or at least it seems like she's never home."

Octavia gives her a look of concern and nods, "Uh, where is she anyway?"

"If I knew, I'd tell you." Raven snorts before she gives Octavia the brightest smile she can muster before she holds her glass up and gives it a shake. "I'm out. I'm gonna go get Monty to mix me another."

"Hey, babe."

Raven blinks sleepily as she looks over the back of the couch, "Hey."

"Sorry I'm late." Clarke sighs as she sheds her jacket and moves to drop a quick kiss to the top of Raven's head. "I was just about to leave when I got called in for an emergency surgery, I forgot to text you."

"S'okay. I figured." Raven murmurs.

"You didn't wait up for me, did you?" Clarke frowns as she moves towards the fridge to grab a water while Raven shrugs and stands to fold her blanket. "You...Rae, you didn't have to do that. It's not like I wasn't going to come home."

"We had dinner plans, Clarke." Raven sighs.

Clarke folds her brow and suddenly takes notice to the beautiful red dress Raven wears while a pair of heels are abandoned beside the coffee table. For a moment, the blonde feels the bubbles of guilt that flood her stomach before she cracks the lid of her water and takes a few sips to wash away the lies that lay on her tongue. Raven licks her lips as she continues to fold the blanket before she looks nervously to her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, babe. The surgery was..."

"It's fine." Raven assures her as she holds a hand up. "I get it."

"Raven, I didn't..."

"Can you just promise me something?" Raven pleads as she places the blanket over the back of the couch and turns to watch as Clarke walks towards her with a slow nod. "Do you promise me you'll be at my birthday party next week?"

Clarke flashes a smile that melts Raven on the spot before she tosses her water bottle on the couch and curls her arms around the older woman's waist, "I wouldn't miss that for the world. I promise I'll be there."

Raven shakes herself from the memory as she swallows hard before she lifts her cup to her lips and swallows down the burning liquid. The fire boils low in her stomach before she glances over to see her friends tumbling towards her with giggles and the shine of a drunk haze in every pair of eyes she looks into. She wants to walk away because she really doesn't want to deal with this right now, she just wants to wallow in her own self pity for a while.

"Happy birthday, girl." Harper chirps as she kisses Raven's cheek.

"Thank you." Raven whispers.

"We're so glad that we were able to make it tonight, Harper almost couldn't get off." Monroe admits as she glances towards her girlfriend who waves her off with a grin. "So, where's Clarke at? How are things?"

Raven tenses before she forces a smile, "They're good. Really good."

"It must be hard, with her new job and everything," Tris hums and Raven bites her lower lip and focuses her attention on the liquid in her cup. "How are you two balancing that? Her hours seem insane."

"We uh we make it work. Somehow we always make it work." Raven shrugs and she takes a small sip of drink as she looks away. "We've been together for three years, and best friends for eight...we make it work."

"You guys are so cute." Harper sighs. "Your relationship is literal goals."

Raven chuckles, "Something like that."

"Is she coming soon?" Monroe asks as she sips her drink.

"I'm not sure." Raven murmurs as she looks away. "I think she might be caught up at work."

"Wow, eleven birthdays and she finally misses one?" Tris jokes.

The words hit Raven hard and the drink in her hand slips from her grasp and splatters along the floor. It barely catches anyone's attention, but the three women in front of her pause as they look from the drink to Raven's face. All at once, she feels a gentle hand press to her hip and Raven looks to see Octavia standing beside her with a look of concern as she throws a quick glance to the drink.

"Shit." Raven breathes out. "My bad."

"Hey, don't worry about it. We'll get it cleaned up." Monroe assures her.

Raven nods as she stumbles away from Octavia's touch, "I-I um I'm going to go freshen up..."

She needs to be alone, she needs to get away from everyone. Tris' words replay in her head over and over, and the realization of the truth drives deeper and deeper into her soul. It makes her sick to her stomach, it causes the necklace around her neck to feel too tight. Her hands shake as she stumbles down the hallway and she reaches behind her neck to unclasp the gift from Clarke for her nineteenth birthday.

Raven bursts through the bathroom door and sucks in a breath and she can hear the door slam shut before she feels hands on her shoulders. Immediately, she shrugs them off as she moves to lean against the counter while she tries to calm down the anger and panic that claws and moves desperately in her chest. She hates this feeling, she hates that the person she loves the most has caused this pain.

"What's going on with you, Rae?"

Raven frowns and moves to slide onto the sink counter, "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Fine?" Octavia repeats as she moves forward to slide in between her best friend's thighs before she narrows her eyes at the older woman. "It's your birthday party, you should be bouncing off the walls."

"She said she was going to be here." Raven explains after a beat of silence. "Her hours have been crazy at the hospital lately, but she said she got the night off. She said...O, she promised she was going to be here."

Octavia flexes her jaw in annoyance, "I'll kick her ass."

"It's fine. Maybe she got hung up at work, she could be in surgery." Raven offers in a desperate whisper and she hates the way her eyes sting with building tears. "I-It's fine. I'm okay. It's my birthday and I..."

"Exactly. It's your birthday, she should be here. She's your fucking girlfriend." Octavia growls and Raven ducks her head as the first tear falls. "If Lincoln did this shit to me, I would've kicked his ass to the curb months ago."

"O," Raven sniffles. "Lexa isn't here either."

Silence fills the bathroom and Raven closes her eyes as her sniffles become sobs, and she collapses forward to press her face against Octavia's shoulder. The broken sounds fill the room and Raven hates how vulnerable she feels, how broken she has become, she hates that Clarke has stripped her of the strength she was once so proud of. Octavia holds her through every tear that falls and her lips settle against Raven's dark locks as she attempts to soothe her. It's all empty words to Raven though, all she can think is that she should be laughing in Clarke's arms right now. She should be hanging off her girlfriend's arm and introducing her to her new coworkers and drinking herself into a stupor.

But Raven knows, she knows exactly where her girlfriend is.

"Raven?" A knock bounces off the door. "The cake is coming out."

"We'll be right out, Bell." Octavia calls and Raven can hear the way Bellamy's footsteps falter before the doorknob twists and his head pokes in. "What the fuck, Bell? One of us could've been peeing."

"I heard her crying, I've been in the hallway for a few minutes." Bellamy admits as he slides into the room and closes the door behind himself. "Everyone was worried, and Harper wanted to check on you but I said I'd do it."

Raven pulls away from Octavia and wipes her eyes, "I'm fine."

"You're not fine." Bellamy scoffs as he moves to stand beside his sister before he reaches out with a gentle hand to brush a few tears from her face. "You don't have to be okay with this, Raven. She should be here."

"But she isn't, and everyone else is." Raven points out and she winces as her voice cracks halfway through the sentence. "So, I'm going to go out there and bullshit them all and pretend that my girlfriend is busy at the hospital."

Bellamy trades a glance with Octavia, "You don't have to do that. We can get everyone to leave..."

"No. Anya worked really hard on putting this whole thing together and everyone is having a good time, I'm not going to let my fucking relationship drama spoil that." Raven sneers. "Plus, it's my birthday so I can fucking cry if I want to."

Octavia laughs softly and shakes her head, "Clarke is a fucking idiot."

"I don't want to hear her name for the rest of the night, okay?" Raven pleads as she pushes Octavia back a few steps before she slides off the counter and smooths her dress down. "I just want to have a good time."

"Whatever you want, birthday girl." Bellamy nods as he presses a kiss to her head.

She steadies herself and follows the Blake siblings out of the safety of the bathroom and she plasters a fake smile on her face as she trails them to the living room where a large chocolate cake waits for her. Clarke's favorite. Her hands shake as she moves to where Anya is eagerly lighting each candle and Raven doesn't have the heart to show her sadness when she sees the excitement in Anya's dark orbs.

"Get ready for the best happy birthday ever sung." Jasper smirks.

Raven rolls her eyes at his words, "We'll see."

And when it starts, Raven ducks her head and closes her eyes.

The mattress dips and a groan leaves the woman that is sprawled across it. With another moan of annoyance, she turns her face to bury it in her soft pillow while her hand reaches out to grab at her sheets. A giggle leaves the body a few inches away from her own and she huffs as she pulls the cover over her head to block out the laughter and light that pours from the window.

"Go away."

"But it's your birthday."

"It'll still be my birthday in an hour."

A breathy laugh leaves the form that scoots to hover over her, and Raven finally gives in and pulls the sheets down to see bright blue eyes staring down at her. For a moment, her heart pauses in her chest before it speeds up in the way that only Clarke can cause and she licks her lips as a hand smooths a wayward strand of hair from her face and Clarke is quick to lean into her gentle touch.

"Good morning." Clarke whispers as she ducks her head to press a quick kiss to Raven's lips and the woman whines in protests as the blonde stares down at her. "I've been trying to wake you up for the last ten minutes."

"I know. I've been ignoring you for the last ten minutes." Raven grumbles as she rubs tiredly at her eyes before she props herself on her elbow. "Why would you think it was a good idea to wake me up so early?"

"Because it's your birthday." Clarke scoffs with a roll of her eyes before she reaches out to smoosh Raven's cheeks and the older woman huffs at the action. "You're twenty years old today, Rae. You're old."

"I am not old." Raven mumbles as she reaches up to peel Clarke's hands away before she reaches out to fist the blonde's shirt in her hand as she yanks her forward. "Would you like me to show you just how young I am?"

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Clarke teases as she moves to straddle Raven's waist and watches as dark brows furrow in confusion to her question. "I mean, I wouldn't want you to pop a hip or throw out your back."

Raven growls as she rolls Clarke onto her back, "You're evil."

Clarke smirks and curls a hand around the back of Raven's neck before she draws her down into a gentle kiss. Raven moans as Clarke bends her knee so their bodies can fall together, and the blonde hums softly as she runs a hand up the length of her girlfriend's body before she tugs her shirt up far enough to paw at tanned skin. She feels Raven's heart thump evenly against her chest and a small smile of adoration spreads across her face.

"Happy birthday, Raven." Clarke whispers against full lips.

The sound of off-key singing continues and Raven glances at the candles with tears in her eyes, and she doesn't even try to stop them as they trail down her face. She waits for the singing to stop and the embarrassment to set in before she finally leans forward and blows out every candle; all she wishes for is for that certain someone to come through the door and kiss her breathless.

And as the darkness settles around them once the candles have been blown out, Raven ducks away from the cake and shudders out a breath when no one walks through the door. All at once, everything lights up again and Raven forces the brightest beam she can on her face before everyone claps and whistles in excitement while the cake is cut. She forces down a few bites of cake, and manages to make it through a long hour of opening gifts before the party winds down. Octavia doesn't want to leave her, and Lincoln has to physically lift her up and over his shoulder to carry her out of the apartment. It warms Raven, to know how much her best friend cares.

"You want me to stay?"

Raven jumps and whirls around, "What the fuck? I thought you left!"

"I'm not going to leave when you're upset." Anya replies as she continues to pick up empty glasses and cake plates. "Believe it or not, I'm a whole lot smarter than I look and I knew it was practical torture for you tonight."

"What? No. I had a good time." Raven assures her. "It was fun."

"Your bitch of a girlfriend wasn't here, Raven," Anya reminds her in a nonchalant tone while she grabs another glass. "I don't think anybody could have fun when their girlfriend lied about coming tonight."

"She's at wo..."

"She's not and you know that." Anya cuts in with a soft sigh as she drops her trash bag and looks at the woman that stands a few feet away from her. "Raven, you have to stop doing this to yourself. It's not fair. You deserve better."

Raven shakes her head, "I already have the best."

"I really don't think you do." Anya scoffs. "You're so in love with her that you can't see what's right in front of you. Babe, you know I will always take care of you but I think it's time for you to face the facts."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Raven snaps.

"Denial isn't a good place to stay, Rae. You gotta open your eyes. Pay attention." Anya orders as she grabs her jacket and moves to press a kiss to Raven's forehead. "When you open your eyes and see everything you need to, I'll be here."

"What if I don't want to ever open my eyes?" Raven whispers.

Anya pauses at the door and glances over her shoulder, "Then you'll never be happy again."

With that, Raven is left alone. The apartment seems too quiet, too big. She looks around and thinks of the guests that had packed every inch of the space earlier in the night and she runs a hand through her hair as she moves towards her bedroom. The dress slips easily from her body and pools at her feet and she's quick to kick it aside before she patters towards the bed. Just as she plops onto the mattress, a familiar ring tone bursts through the room and Raven tenses as she reaches towards the phone that she abandoned on the bedside table earlier in the night. For a moment, she stares at the photo of her and Clarke covered in whipcream before she finally slides the acceptance bar and waits.

"Hey."

Raven bites her lip and ducks her head, "Hi."

"Um, I'm sorry I didn't make it." Clarke murmurs and Raven closes her eyes as she hears the rustle of bed sheets on the opposite end of the line. "I wanted to be there, but something came up and I just...I'm sorry I didn't make it."

"Me too, Clarke." Raven sighs.

"Yeah. So, happy birthday." Clarke whispers. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure." Raven nods.

"Raven, are you okay?"

"You should've been here, Clarke." Raven murmurs and she pulls her knees to her chest and rests her cheek on her kneecap before she hears Clarke's soft sigh on the opposite line. "If you just would've been there, I would've been so happy."

"I am so sorry, Rae. I really am..."

And then Raven hears it, the sound of a soft voice in the background. She hears Clarke shift her phone and her eyes squeeze close as she bites her lower lip and feels her heart shatter in her chest; everything moves in slow motion as she listens to Clarke murmur something back before Raven releases a breathless laugh of disbelief when it dawns on her how dumb she's been, how foolish she feels.

"Raven, I gotta go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay." Raven nods. "Tell Lexa I said hi."

Raven ends the call and ducks her head; Anya was right.

That was the moment she knew, it was over.