Chapter 10
‘Flight 879 to Washington-Dulles Airport boarding Zone 1’
“Finally. You ready Ashlyn?”
“Ready whenever you are.”
They both boarded the flight and quickly found their seats getting settled. They had flown so many times for soccer they each had their own routine.
“Are you sure this isn’t going to be too hard on your head?”
“Yes. The doctors said I would be fine. We are only flying for two hours. I will be okay. I know you’re worried about me, but I promise if anything is bothering me, I will let you know.”
Ashlyn slowly turned away from her, still with a very nervous look on her face. She couldn’t help but worry. This was her fiancée they were talking about. She was still hesitant about this whole decision of going back to DC. In her head, she kept imagining that the hospital that they had been transferred to would be horrible and they would both hate it there. She didn’t know the doctor so maybe they wouldn’t like them either. Who had any idea of what it was going to be like.
The seat buckle light went on over their heads as Ashlyn felt the plane speeding up down the runway. She just looked out the window staring at the passing planes and trees distracting herself from the thoughts flooding her head.
///
“Hey, Alex. Wake up. We’re about to land.” Ashlyn said quietly.
Ali just grumbled as she groggily lifted her head off of Ashlyn’s shoulder. She had been asleep for the entire flight.
“Are you feeling okay?” Ash asked, knowing that the pressure could easily affect the brunette’s head.
“Yes. I’m just fine. Great actually. The nap felt really good and I’m glad to be home.” She said with a smile.
All the keeper could think is how much she wished that she could have been doing the same thing. She had horrible thoughts filling her head the entire time flight making her more anxious than she had been previously. She had barely gotten any sleep in the last few nights as she worried about her fiancé.
“I think that I should be asking you if you are okay actually.”
“Why would I not be okay?”
“Oh come on Ashlyn. Have you seen yourself?” The blonde slowly lowered her head in embarrassment. She should have known that Ali would be able to tell. “You look like a mess. You just seem so off. I don’t understand why coming back to D.C. makes you this nervous.”
To be honest, Ashlyn didn’t really know either. She just had a bad feeling about all of this that she couldn’t really put her finger on. Of course she loved D.C. and wanted to be with the team, but she just didn’t know if they were making the right decision.
“Ashlyn, please talk to me. I want to know what’s going on. You’ve had to be there for me for so long, now it’s my turn to be there for you.”
Ashlyn tried to form her words. Tried to explain what she was feeling, but nothing was coming out.
“Ashlyn. Please.” Tears we’re starting to form in both of their eyes as the people around them filed out of the plane. They both knew that they were going to be forced to leave the plane soon, but this conversation was nowhere near done.
///
As the two of the walked through the airport, there was only silence between them. Ashlyn could tell that Ali was trying to get a few words in as they walked, but she quickly recoiled on her thoughts once she realized that it wasn’t going to work. Ashlyn wasn’t going to budge, at least for now.
The brunette’s thoughts were wandering as she trudged around the airport. She didn’t completely understand what had just happened, but she did know that she had to fix it, and fast.
///
Ali and Ashlyn had made it to their house and were getting settled into their room. Ashlyn attempted to push Ali away and not allow them to communicate, but Ali couldn’t take it anymore. She was still so lost and she needed to figure all of this out.
“Ashlyn. I know you don’t want to do this. You have made that quite clear to me. Whether or not you respond to anything that I am saying right now, I am still going to speak what I am feeling and hopefully once whatever is going on inside your head gets figured out, we can talk, together.”
Ashlyn turned the volume up on the TV and stared intently at it, trying to cover up Ali’s voice.
“I could tell from the start that you were not so sure about us coming back here. I am not going to question why, but I’m glad that you did, whether it was just for me or not. I think I have said it plenty of times but Dr. Fletcher said that I was going to be completely fine switching hospitals. They can easily transfer my treatment plans, I can continue my radiation, and the doctors here are very good. Whatever is bugging you about this, I would love to be able to help you out and try to ease your discomfort, but you are the one who has to decide whether that will happen or not. Just know that I am here whenever you are ready. I am going to need every little bit of you to make it through this is one piece. You have been my rock so far and I am not about to lose that. I love you.”
Ali sat there waiting for a second, deciding whether all of what she had said was everything that she had wanted to say. She wanted to leave everything on the table in attempt to comfort the blonde a little more. Whatever had been going through Ashlyn’s head through that plane ride had scared her and threw her out of whack. Ali was going to be there to help put all of the pieces back together.
///
As Ali was making dinner in the kitchen, Ashlyn was still sitting in the same spot as she had been before when Ali had talked to her. She was still watching the same show and showed no signs of movement. It was as though all of what the defender had said went in one ear and straight out the other. Ali was quite distraught about the whole situation. She was already starting her next radiation treatment tomorrow and she truly needed Ashlyn to be there to support her.
Suddenly, Ali felt a hand press against her side and her mind started reeling, a smile forming on her face. Ali just waited until she spoke, knowing that pushing Ashlyn into talking was going to help, she was going to do it when she was ready.
“So, I uh, I thought about what you said. I know I am overreacting about all of this. I know this is what you want. I just have this, I don’t know, off feeling that I can’t really put my finger on.” Ali listened intently wanting to soak in every single word that Ashlyn said. “If I knew what was bugging me, believe me I would tell you. I need to be there for you and whatever is going on with me does not matter. I don’t know if either of us would make it through this if you weren’t so strong. How did I get so lucky to have such an amazing girl?”
The smile on Ali’s face widened causing her nose to crinkle. There was something about that smile that just seemed to bring Ashlyn out of her funk even more.
“I could say the same thing to you. There is no way I would be strong enough to fight all of this without you. I’m glad you’re opening up.”
“We need each other. For everything. Exactly why I am so ready to be your wife.”
Ali just laughed. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed in the last few months. After winning in Rio, the diagnosis, the treatment, the proposal. Every one of those things she knew would be for the better.
///
As Ali and Ashlyn sat at the dinner table together, a strong knock was heard on the door. The two of them just looked at each other and laughed knowing that knock anywhere.
“Don’t answer it just yet. I want to see how she reacts.” Ali said quietly, trying to conceal her giggles.
They waited a minute or so before a voice was heard yelling at them from outside.
“Oh come on guys. I just want to see you. Why you gotta be like this?”
They burst out laughing as Ash stood up from the table and walked over to the door, opening it slowly. Ashlyn couldn’t help but laugh even harder as she saw the look on Crystal’s face. Such an innocent glare. A second later that innocent glare was wiped off as she barged through the door practically running to Ali and giving her a giving her a hug.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. One, we didn’t even invite you in, and two, where’s my hug?”
Crystal smiled lightly then walked over to Ashlyn giving her a tight hug.
“There we go. That’s what I was looking for.” Ashlyn said smiling.
“So glad you’re back home!”
“I am too, but what are you doing here?” Ali said laughing.
“I just wanted to see you guys. Is that so bad?”
“Okay, but what is in your hand?” Ashlyn questioned.
“Oh. Yeah. I forgot about that. Got a little excited. I have something for Ali.” Crystal said handing the bag to the brunette.
Ali was quite confused, not knowing why she was being given anything, but opened it anyway. She pulled out the tissue paper and her hand landed on something soft. She pulled it out realizing that it was a blanket. She opened it up and saw that it was covered in pictures of Ali with Ashlyn and her friends.
“I know how tired you’ve been with all of your treatments so I thought you would like it for naps or something.”
“I love it, it’s perfect. Thank you Crystal.”
Ali knew that this blanket was going to get a lot of use. The radiation was wearing her out and she knew that she was going to be home alone a lot more often now that Ashlyn was going to be training again. It made her sad knowing that she was going to be missing out on so much because of it. Though she was hoping to be there with the Spirit for some practices and the games, it was hard for her to look forward to because she had no idea whether she would have enough energy to do it. She still could not believe that this was their new normal. It was something that was going to take a while for her to get used to.
///
Ali and Ashlyn woke up early to an alarm the next morning. Ashlyn groaned quietly as Ali laid in bed, eyes wide, brain filled with thought. She was doing her first radiation treatment at the new hospital. She was lucky to even be given yesterday off as they were trying to be aggressive with the treatment, but through much convincing, she was able to talk Dr. Fletcher into allowing her to take the day off.
Today though, she was going to be getting her treatment, meeting all of her new doctors, and a feel for the new hospital. On top of that, it was going to be a long day as they had to wake up early for the appointment knowing that they were going to be driving through D.C. traffic, one of the worst of them all.
Everything that was going to be happening today was finally hitting Ali and it was really making her nervous. She had no idea what to expect and now understood where Ashlyn was coming from in the first place. Maybe this hadn’t been the right decision.
“Hey Alex, what’s up? Are you feeling okay?” Ashlyn asked worriedly after noticing that Ali hadn’t moved an inch since the alarm went off. Not a common thing for her.
“Uh yeah. I’m fine, just a little tired.” Ali said quietly, trying to act as though everything was okay, but her acting was nowhere near close enough to fooling Ashlyn.
“Ali, what’s bugging you? You’re more than just tired.”
Ali groaned. “Why do you have to know me so well.” She didn’t know why she had even tried to hide it.
“That’s what I’m here for. I have to know you better than anyone and I do. That’s why I love you.” Ashlyn said, pecking Ali on the cheek. “So spill.”
Ashlyn watched as tears started to well up in Ali’s eyes. This kind of thing had become a common sight in their household. Ashlyn quickly hugged Ali tightly. Ali leaned her head onto Ashlyn’s shoulder, letting all the tears and emotions flow out of her.
“Maybe,” Ali sniffled, “Maybe you’re right.”
“Right about what?”
“Everything. Maybe we should have stayed in Orlando. That’s where your family is –”
Ashlyn stopped her right then and there. “Nope. We are not doing this. I know you made the right decision. This is where you have friends. This is where your parents are. You are closer to Kyle. Your team is here. This was your idea and I know that this makes you nervous. It is a different environment than you’re used to. There have been a lot of changes in our life since we were here last, but that is just fine. We are going to have to adjust and I am ready to be here for you.”
“Thank you.” Ali said, now completely in control of her emotions and ready to take on the day. “I needed that.”
The brunette just laughed thinking about how different life was compared to even just a few months ago. Now having this tumor, Ali was starting to look at life in a different way. She knew that she had to take in everyday because something could come up and there was no telling what state she would be in the next day or even in a few hours.