Chapter 8
"Okay Ali, your doctor's and I have decided that you are free to go home. You still have to come back daily during the week for your radiation treatments which we will start on Monday, but you won't have to stay here any longer."
Ali's face lit up with excitement and Dr. Fletcher's words had been blocked out before he was even done talking. The brunette couldn't believe she was finally able to go home, sleep in her own bed, feel truly comfortable for the first time in almost a month. Ashlyn looked at her with the widest smile on her face and they hugged immediately. Neither of them could believe that this time was finally here.
"Thank you Dr. Fletcher. I cannot thank you enough for everything you have done for me."
"You're very welcome Ali. It has been a pleasure, but this is just the beginning. I look forward to seeing you back here again in a few days."
"I look forward to seeing you again, but not necessarily here." Ashlyn said with a laugh.
///
A nurse pushed Ali's wheelchair out of the hospital until they were made it to the doors. A few teammates were following behind her like an entourage carrying all the things that Ashlyn and Ali had brought to the hospital during their stay. Most of the gals had to be with their NWSL teams as they finished up the season, but a couple of them were down in Orlando for the weekend.
"Okay Ali, you're free to go. We'll see you soon."
All of the girls cheered in excitement, so happy that Ali was finally able to go home.
"Thank you so much." Ali said with a smile.
Ashlyn leaned over to grab Ali's hand and helped her out of the wheelchair. She took a deep relief breath knowing that she was free. Ali and Ash walked to the car together slowly, while the rest of the gals went to their car and packed all the stuff in the trunk. They were off to home.
///
Ali reached the door to their house with a beaming smile on her face. She opened the door and took a deep breath, smelling the familiar scent of her house. She never thought she could love a smell so much.
Once the brunette reached the stairs of the house, a look of fear spread across her face. She hadn't had to climb stairs since she had fainted almost a month ago. The hospital was filled with elevators, that she knew she needed to use even through her fear, and she got wheeled around to many of the places she had to go anyway. She was afraid she wouldn't have enough physical strength to climb up the stairs of their house. Never in a million years did she think something so simple as climbing stairs could intimidate her so much.
Ashlyn had a confused look on her face after Ali stopped, but she quickly realized what was going through Ali's mind. She leaned forward to encourage her on, but stopped just before saying anything as she saw a tear fall down Ali’s cheek.
"Oh Alex, let's sit down. Just take a second. I know this is a lot to take in, but I just want you to breath. We can try it when you're ready."
A second later, Kelley, Syd, and Pinoe walk through the door ready to get Ali settled back in, but stop immediately in their footsteps once they see Ali. They drop everything where they are and rush to her side.
"What happened? Are you okay?" Kelley bursts out saying.
"I'm fine," Everyone let out a breath of air. "I just realized how hard this is all going to be. I all just hit me at once because who would ever think that the star soccer player that just won a world championship would ever be afraid to walk up a simple flight of stairs because they are so weak." Ali let out a chuckle at her own struggles, but nobody else laughed with her. None of them liked how much this was affecting Ali. It was so difficult to watch somebody they loved so much struggle so deeply. Ali looked over at everyone to see that she was not the only one crying. Everyone else has a face wet with tears too.
After a deep breath in attempt to relax herself, Ashlyn spoke up. “I know this scares you, it scares all of us. We hate this. But you are going to need to continue to work, through the pain, through the fatigue, through the fear. This is just one of many things that is going to stand in your way through this battle. I want you to try to do this. If it is too hard, we can make it work. We will work with anything that we are given.
Ali stood up slowly, but confidently with everyone surrounding her ready to support her. She lifted her leg up and pulled herself up the first step, then the next. She stopped for a second.
"It's okay Alex, take your time." Ashlyn said encouragingly.
"No, no. I'm fine. Just thinking." She laughed. "I don't know why I was so scared to do this. I'm fine. I'm just fine."
"Are you sure?" I told you not to push yourself too hard. If you need to take a break feel free."
"I promise. I'm fine."
"Okay, I trust you. Let's do this again."
Ali continued on her trek up the stairs, one step at a time. She had about five steps left when suddenly she felt a twinge in her head and felt herself starting to lose her balance. Ashlyn tried to stop her from falling as best as she could, but her strength was not enough. The pregnant Syd wasn't much of a help, but thankfully Pinoe and Kelley were right behind to catch her. Ashlyn's heart skipped a beat as she watched the love of her life fall backwards. Kell and Pinoe let her down easy, feeling very relieved that they had been there to catch her. Had they not, who knows what would have happened to her.
///
It had been a long stressful day for everyone since getting home from the hospital. Trying to figure out what Ali was capable and incapable of doing had been a majority of what the day had involved. After the scare on the stairs, she was much more hesitant to do anything, but with the help of her teammates she was able to make it all the way up and down the stairs and take a bath.
Everyone decided they just wanted to relax for the rest of the night, so the five of them sat down in the living room to watch a movie. With much bickering between them, they more like Ali, decided on The Lucky One, since she got the final say.
Less than 30 minutes into the movie, the brunette was laying on Ashlyn, asleep. She couldn't help but admire the sleeping girl. All she could think about is when she would be able to find the right time to ask her to marry her, but she had a feeling that wouldn't be any time soon, it just didn't feel right while Ali was still sick.
///
Ali woke up in the morning in her own bed lying next to her beautiful girlfriend feeling like there were no issues in the world, but as soon as she stepped out of bed she felt a wave of dizziness and a pounding headache overcome her. She quickly moved to the wall and slid down it, sitting down. She didn't want to wake anyone up so she quietly brushed her teeth in the bathroom and attempted to make her way down the stairs. As soon she reached the stairs, she looked down them and once again she was overcome with fear. She knew that she didn't have her friends there to help her down, only the railing which she knew would not be enough. She made the decision to slide down the stairs, quietly laughing at herself in the process, and feeling like a 5 year old.
Once she made it downstairs, she started up the coffee machine knowing she was going to need as much energy as she could get for the day. Today was her last day before she started radiation which also meant the last day before the fatigue and many more symptoms kicked in.
She walked out onto their porch and sat down in the chair looking out onto the road in front of her. She couldn't help but think that she was going to be stuck in her house just like she had been stuck in the hospital and it scared the hell out of her. Being active was such a large part of her life and she wanted to continue that, but who knew whether the radiation was going to allow that to be possible or not.
Ali heard a slight knock on the door to turn around and see Syd hobbling out to her. The defender was glad to see someone who could relate to her at least a little since Syd was very pregnant and was not able to move around very easily, nor did she have a lot of energy.
“How does it feel to be back home?” Syd asked once she took her seat outside.
“It feels really great. Frustrating, but great. But seriously, I’m so done with talking about me. How's your ankle feeling?”
“Really? That’s the first thing you think of? You don’t think that I'm sick of talking about me too?”
“Syd? Sick of talking about herself? When does that happen?”
“True, very true. I'm feeling good, big but good. Ready to get him out so I can play again.”
“Believe me, I understand completely. I have no idea at all when I'm going to be able to play again and it scares me.”
“Don’t worry about it. That’s what your friends are for. We get to worry while you keep fighting.”
“There are so many things that could go wrong and I don't know how well my body is going to be able to take all of it.”
“You’re strong. One of the strongest women I know. We will help you through every little thing that happens.”
Ali laughed to herself a little.
Syd put a very confused look on her face. “What are you laughing about?”
“Oh nothing, nothing.”
“Come on. Just tell me?”
“Fine. Will you help me with the hair loss?”
Syd’s eyes widened. “Oh my god. I didn’t even think about that. Wait. Hold on. You're asking me? Of course I will. I feel so honored.”
They both started laughing together, but soon after, Ali was the only one left laughing. She stopped herself and felt frozen once she saw that Sydney’s emotions had turned completely upside down. Ali just leaned over and hugged her friend for comfort.
“Syd, let’s talk. What just happened?”
“Once you brought up the hair loss, I just started thinking of all the other things that you’re going to have to go through and it scares me. I just don’t understand why this is happening to you.”
“It scares you? How do you think I feel? I’m the one that has to go through all of it.” Ali tried to put some humor into the situation to change around the emotions, but it had just the opposite effect.
“Who am I kidding?” The tears streamed out. “Why am I freaking out? Why aren’t you freaking out? They just cut open your skull and your brain and took a cancer out of it. Now they are going to shoot radiation into the place that they took the cancer out, but what if they didn’t get it all and it grows back. What if something goes wrong and you can ever play soccer again? I don’t know what I would, we would do without you on the team.”
Her rambling took all of the breath out of her and she turned into a puddle of tears as the two of them sat on the porch together.
All of what Sydney said got Ali thinking, but she knew she had to block out all those thoughts. She had done this kind of things too many times before and she knew the drill for having the fastest recovery, none of those thoughts are involved. You just have to keep your head forward and keep pushing ahead.
///
“I saw that you and Syd were sitting on the porch this morning. Syd didn’t seem to look so good.” Ashlyn said worriedly.
“She was just expressing a lot of emotions about all of what is going on. We were just talking and laughing and suddenly she was crying and rambling on about everything.”
“Hey! You were joking around about losing some of your hair, what am I supposed to do? Laugh with you?” Syd yelled from the other room.
“Yes! You shouldn’t be crying about ME losing MY hair!”
“Okay then… So, is there anything you want to do today? You probably won’t-”
Ali interrupted her, not wanting to hear the rest of what she had to say. “Actually yes. I want to finish our date. I kind of ruined it with my fainting and loss of consciousness.”
“Oh come on. You did ruin it.”
“Of course I did and you know that. You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
Ashlyn’s face suddenly turned guilty. “Fine. You may have ruined it a little, but there wasn’t much more that I had planned for the night.”
“Ashlyn. I can tell you’re lying. I know you too well and have learned all your little quirks such as the fact that you always start to rub your tattoos when you lie.”
“I honestly don’t even know why I tried. You always catch me anyway. But, that sounds like a great plan. A date it is. Be ready at 7 o’clock sharp, dressed in your best.”
Kelley, Syd, and Pinoe all call out from the living room, “I want to help!”
“I’ll take Ashlyn, you two get Ali.” Megan exclaimed as she jumped out of her seat, tripping over Sydney’s feet in the process.
Everyone fell into a fit of laughter as Megan laid on the floor. Hopefully this was not the last of the laughs for a long while.