Three
She felt the rays of the simmering sun soak into her skin, the warmth radiating through every fiber of her being satisfying her unconditional love for the summer-spring weather. She closed her eyes as she let her head sink into the malleable, formless, soft sand slipping off into sweet sleep of oblivion ---
“Griff, wake up! Today we’re going to get so lit that we can’t remember our names!”
Clarke slowly rose from her deep slumber to a crushing mass atop her. Her blood flared. Raven Reyes just woke her from one of the best dreams she has had in a VERY long time, a dream where she had finally achieved refuge from the world and its stupid problems that it freely gifts to its inhabitants. She instinctively reached forward in a bid to shove her dear friend to the floor.
The brunette however, foresaw the blonde’s plan jerking her body back before the blonde could steadily grip her shoulders. Raven laughed, her eyes laced with play and mischief.
Clarke groaned, falling down into her bed disappearing beneath her fortress of blankets. She was lethargic from the early hour, unable to carry out her many masterplans of vengeance against Raven. She just wanted to go back to sleep. Everyone knew NEVER to rouse her at this hour of the morning. They didn’t dare. Well… except the one and only Raven Reyes.
Raven, who was quite disappointed by the blonde’s elicited reaction, cooled her light-spirited malevolence. She crawled back besides Clarke, taking the liberty to also curl up beneath the blankets. “You know Griff,” she softly murmured, “We don’t have to host the party tonight if you aren’t ready. Parties will always be there in the world for us any time any day.”
Clarke grunted in response, weak traces of fog still present. She seized more blanket space from Raven ignoring the offer. She just wanted to hibernate until the evening. Was that too much to ask?
“You blanket pig!” Raven vainly attempted to regain her lost blankets. “Give those back!”
“Leave my room and then perhaps you can negotiate your terms,” Clarke drowsily muttered. “I just want to go back to sleep… Is that too much to ask the all-Too-Good-Samaritan-filled-world?
“Well that isn’t logical is it? I mean… how can one get coveted blankets back if they leave the room? Is it then worth the time and energy to negotiate terms after you have left the comfort of the bed? What value do blankets have then?” Raven glanced back over at the now snoring Clarke. “You’re a lawn more, you know that right? I mean hell, you could sound like a motor-board if you wanted to.” She face-palmed. She was talking to her dead-to-the-world friend who didn’t register anything of what she just said.
Three hours later...
Clarke reawakened. She didn’t remember her dream like how she didn’t remember what life cycle she was swirling through nowadays. She didn’t understand her emotions, or why she was acting the way she has been. She didn’t know anything nowadays.
Clarke rolled to her side, reaching out to her bedside table to check her phone.
GeniusReyes: Rise and shineee my sun, stars, and moon
GeniusReyes: Last minute beer run, so whatcha want?
LittleBlake: Bell asked about you today…
GeniusReyes: omw home, got you your fav ;)
LittleBlake: What do you want me to tell him?
GeniusReyes: Also… did you know that Wonder Woman comes out soon?
GeniusReyes: Im like fackng freaking out
GeniusReyes: Unable to form worbs
GeniusReyes: Gal Gadot is just ughhhh
GeniusReyes: Muthorfacking goals
Clarke released a heavy sigh. She had to get up and prepare for the day... the small party Raven arranged. She forced her limbs to awaken from their groggy stupor, sluggishly moving her legs to the bed’s side edge, her arms dragging behind. As she sat up, Clarke could hear the roars of the tiny voices telling her to sink back into bed and neglect her obligations and duties.
When Niylah broke her heart, Clarke had not expected this. She had not expected her life to be put on pause and morph into a world of complete darkness, despair, or sadness. She hadn’t expected to turn into a depressed-morose recluse.
For her friends, family, and most importantly, herself, Clarke had to overcome Niylah and get her life back to semblances of normal. Her nails dugs into the sheets willing her body to leave the safety of the bed. Life was sure cruel. Why was this so difficult?
Clarke lowered her feet to the ground. She had to get up and going. Now or never loser.
She walked into the kitchen greeted by the fresh hot aroma of Nightblood (if you already didn’t know her favorite drink in the whole wide world). Suddenly, she didn’t want to go back to bed.
“Took you long enough Griff,” Raven grinned. She was sitting on a stool by the counter. “The princess has finally awakened at last! Sweet dreams I take it?”
Clarke lied, “Something like that. Where’s O?”
“I believe she’s with her brother hiking in the countryside on some glorious adventure. She said something about how Bellamy wants her to enjoy her last year of college before being tied down by the legendary, amazing responsibilities of adulting,” Raven smirked. “I mean; we all know how amazing it really is.”
Clarke remembered the texts she had not responded to on her phone. “Shit, I forgot to respond to O’s text.”
“You know… I exist too.”
Clarke ignored the brunette’s playful jab. She scrambled to collect her phone.
ToLittleBlake: Hey ;) sorry for the late reply. Tell Bell im alright.
ToGeniusReyes: Shut up you idot ;|
GeniusReyes: First… Im not an idot. Second… love you too Clarkey <3
Clarke looked up from her phone, a rare smile creeping to her face.
To GeniusReyes: Maybe some tequila or Mike’s for the party.
“You know you could physically speak instead of electronically communicating with me in silence!” Raven called from the kitchen. “I also exist physically and am in the same building as you sooooo vocality please!”
♨♨♨
Clarke didn’t know what to wear to the party. She didn’t know where to start. Here she stood in front of her now nearly empty closet at a loss for inspiration. Clarke cracked her neck. The struggle was too real.
Octavia poked her head through the door, “Find an outfit yet?” She chuckled. “You’ve been at it for hours.” Literally.
“O, why is it so difficult to dress up? Couldn’t I just wear sweats and a hoodie, or something?”
Octavia laughed again. “No, you cannot because it’s a party. That’s like wearing crocs to a party… no one wears crocs to a party!” The brunette cocked her head. “Wait. Never mind I know someone who does.”
“Ughhh. Save me from this torture,” Clarke groaned resigning to sitting on the floor. “How was your hike? How’s Bell?”
The brunette sifted through the mess of clothes on the blonde’s bed. “It was amazing! I felt like I was one with the land, with nature. The cool wind brushing against my face, the sounds of birds chirping, the smell of pines or whatever that foresty smell is. It was perfect. My brother was also stress-free for the first time in ages. He has this love-hate relationship with his new job.” Octavia held up an outfit to Clarke. “Put this on.”
“That’s good! I’m glad both you and Bell had a good time.” Clarke took the jeans and cute graphic tee from Octavia. “What was his job again?”
“He’s a police officer now. Remember he just graduated from the academy?” Octavia examined the outfit the blonde changed into. “Of course you don’t. You were oblivious to the world at that time,” she bitterly muttered as she admired her work. She hoped Clarke didn’t catch that.
Clarke casted her gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry,” she quietly apologized. “I wasn’t there for you or anyone else, but I’m trying to be better. I’m glad Bell is pursuing his childhood dream.”
“Yeah.” Octavia stiffened, then softened her posture. “You should meet with him for coffee one day, catch up on life.” She paused and re-examined what Clarke was wearing. “You should wear that tonight,” she said. “It’s totally you.”
“Thanks O.” Clarke stood in front of her bedroom mirror. She had to hand it to Octavia, the girl knew her way around fashion. The jeans on her hips clung somewhat tightly to her skin, loosening around her ankles with a very slight flare. The dark stormy grey graphic tee sported one of her favorite bands, AD/DC. She felt the urge to roll her jeans into a crop, but she remembered her black SB Nike blazers and her mid-cut black leather booties that would cover most of the minimal flare.
Clarke knew her second closest friend was truly trying to be a better person here by apologizing in her own style and at her own pace in this moment with a peace offering of fashion advice.
She was grateful to the kind karma gods above that she did not take any further losses of important individuals in her life like her father, and Niylah. She wasn’t going to lose Octavia. “What are you wearing tonight?”
“One sec!” said Octavia giddily thinking of all the leather jackets in her closet she acquired over the years.
Clarke smiled as she watched Octavia jog to her room. They were taking baby steps, their friendship.
“Okay,” Octavia called through Clarke’s door, “are you ready?” She poked her head into the room.
Clarke gave Octavia a two thumbs up.
Octavia was wearing a white top with darkish-light blue crop jeans. “And of course…” she dramatically drawled. “You cannot forget the leather jacket… it’s Lucky Brand too!”
“Why the leather jacket?”
Octavia incredulously stared at Clarke. “Because. They. Are. Lit.”
“Whatever you say,” Clarke chuckled.
♨♨♨
“ClArkeeeeeeee!” Raven screamed from the kitchen. “Get your ass out here and help set up before everyone starts to arrive!” She picked up a beer and put it into a cooler. “OctaVIAaaaaaaaa!!!! You too assahat!”
When Clarke entered the kitchen, she saw Raven surrounded by bottles and bottles of alcohol ranging from beer to tequila. A lowkey party with not many people… just the gang. Those were Raven’s exact words. “Ray, I thought tonight was lowkey? These are enough bottles to support an entire army?!”
Raven grinned, apparently wearing her sly communicative skills as a badge of honor. “I did say lowkey didn’t I? You can’t count their friends that they will invite to tag along… I mean lowkey as in our friend group, but you didn’t mention anything about plus ones or guests of our guests.” She winked. “See what I did there?”
Clarke groaned.
“Look, I promise there’s not going to be a party Party here tonight. Blake can vouch for me. ISN’t THAT RIGHT OCTAVIA?!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t hear you!” Octavia yelled down the hall.
“It’s going to be lowkey tonight right?!” Raven repeated. “Hurry your ass up Blake, everyone is going to be here soon!”
Octavia’s voice became louder and louder.
“It’s not my fault you started getting ready so late,” Octavia responded with a note of sass rolling her eyes. “I suggested a lowkey dinner not a party, but noooooo… you wanted the party, so you deal with this mess.”
“Shut up,” Raven gestured to all the bottles, “and help.”
Clarke sighed at her two best friends bickering the usual. She could already tell it was going to be a long night.
Bellamy was the first to walk through their apartment door. Typical, of course of him, because he believed in punctuality. One must be at least ten minutes early to an event or outing. He calls it the “Ten Minute Rule”. Octavia blamed his stupid rule on his football days in high school and college.
If he was even a minute late to practice, he and his entire team ran as a punishment. His coaches also believed that being on time was considered late, and players were to be ready to practice before practice began. They also believed instilling these practices into their players would convert over to real life post-sports like attending a job interview or classes.
Throughout the years, Clarke noticed that Bellamy’s timely habits had rubbed off on Octavia, then naturally because of the manifold years of friendship, Octavia’s adopted rule was passed on to Clarke and occasionally to Raven depending on the day and her mood.
Bellamy approached the trio setting up the coolers at the counter. “Hey,” he greeted hoping for reciprocation from Clarke.
“Good, you’re here Blake. This is an all hands on deck jig,” said Raven tossing a beer over to the taller man. “Set up that cooler over there.” She pointed to the nearest wall by the couch. “We gotta spread the coolers for easy access for all.”
Bellamy chuckled warmly smiling at Clarke, watching her for a few seconds contemplating whether to ask her how she’s doing. He wasn’t sure if the blonde was ready to talk yet.
“Ray, he just got here,” Octavia said in a flippant way that made it clear she was irritated, and not only irritated, but that her brother shouldn’t be helping them because he was a guest tonight at their place.
“Puhh-lease Octavia,” said Raven, a drawl in her voice. “People are going to be walking through our door in several minutes. Blake, please explain to your sister why it’s an all hands on deck situation.”
Bellamy smirked. “Because you procrastinated and in a very unorganized, very you fashion, decided to prepare for the party too late,” he responded, crossing his arms emphatically.
“And that Bell…” Octavia grinned, “is why you’re my brother.” She raised her hand to high five her brother.
“Whatever,” Raven grumbled. “You two are like two peas in a pod, so I stood no chance at all anyways. Please just help me set up from the kindness of your hearts?” she asked staring at them with her best puppy dog eyes. “Pretty please with free coffee for a week on top?”
“Why of course my dear friend,” Bellamy replied, grabbing several bottles from the counter. “That’s what friendships are for.”
“Whatever Blake. Whatever you want to say because we all truly know who the real---”
“--- genius is,” Octavia finished, glancing at Raven’s growing annoyance.
Clarke could only laugh to herself. She had missed the usual banter between her friends. Her heart warmed at the long forgotten memories her mind had conquered with cheerlessness and heartbreak.
It was in this moment that she realized, she had missed her friends.
♨♨♨
Clarke soon reconsidered missing her friends. One after another, they slowly trickled in growing into a rather large crowd.
She wasn’t ready for this level of social interaction.
Monty and Jasper arrived twenty minutes after Bellamy arrived.
Lincoln arrived a little bit later much to a pretty irritated Octavia (he was supposed to get to the party when Bellamy did).
The rest of the delinquents arrived thirty-five minutes after Bellamy… Harper and her friend, Atom, Monroe, Murphy who brought his girlfriend, Emori, and Miller hand in hand with his boyfriend Bryan.
Maya, Jasper’s girlfriend, arrived after the delinquents.
Some of Lincoln’s friends, Nyko, Quint, and five others arrived after Maya.
Clarke sat on her new bed barricading herself from the hellish ruckus of the party. Earlier she sought out Raven and Octavia during a quest for the soothing burn of hard liquor. They completely blindsided her by flat-out lying about the location of the coolers, which changed her journey to the living room where she could’ve sworn she spotted a jerk ass brunette conversing with Lincoln… Clarke’s dear friend’s also lied about those in attendance: Anya, Miller, Bryan, Atom, Maya, Fox, Monroe, Bellamy, Lincoln, Echo, Jasper, and many, many more. She was promised a lowkey, quiet, inner circle only gathering.
So now here she was suffering in the confines of the four walls of her temporary new home. The music blared through the drywall as if there were no boundaries separating the blonde from civilization. Don’t get her wrong, she was grateful that the room satisfied her requirements; it was a medium toasty room with a beautiful view looking out at one of New York’s many parks offered to its residents, a room that achieved princess standards.
In the morning, when the red lit sun cascaded over her bed, its elegant rays faintly illuminated the somber, shadowy corners as if cleansing the dark with the light like how Niylah was her light. She awoke to the gentle brushed kisses of the sun’s benevolent streaks that whispered loving good mornings in her ear, similarly to Niylah’s cuddly early morning caresses.
The two could both spend all morning in bed until the late hours of the afternoon entangled in one another, lost in each other’s deep cerulean gaze for eternity.
Get over yourself Griffin, she thought. The past is in the past and Raven is right, you need to move on… no… you MUST move on.
And that was the past wasn’t it? She was moving on to greater things for the long-term betterment. The part of her that wouldn’t let go roared desperately trying to break through the inner prison where she locked unwanted moments, feelings, and thoughts behind bars. Clarke could feel her soul being pulled further and further to oblivion relinquishing control to her grudged, wallowing, pitiful other self.
She struggled to concentrate on the room.
You can do this Griffin, do not let Niylah win.
Her body tensed, her mind throbbing. She shut her eyes.
During cool refreshing nights, the brightened rooftops proudly boasted loud gatherings, quiet, chill dinners in company of friends, concerts producing soothing tunes of soul its spirits echoing from the classy brick apartment to apartment sharing its song to all of the district.
On rainy days, the zen tranquil droplets of rain caressed her balcony glass window, then languidly began their downward descent.
She frowned. “Princess” rightfully suited her. She really did have standards of royalty, and worse, Bellamy would forever rub the truth behind the coined name in her face. Speaking of forever, she couldn’t hide forever, she had promised Octavia and Raven she’d appear at least once. Baby steps or something in those words… Raven prior mutterings.
Get up.
Get out.
Socialize.
Try to return to normalcy.
Clarke struggled to move to her door, each step increasingly voluminous and weighted. It drained her stowed last remaining small stash of willpower. She apprehensively clasped the metal door knob, dreading the onslaught of social interaction lurking. Literally, she disappeared off the radar for months, never heard or seen—barely. Her hand lingered on the door apprehensively, unsure of whether she was prepared to face the oncoming storm.
She took another calming breath. She was bound to make an appearance sooner or later. Raven was expecting her to. She had to do this for Raven after everything she has done for her; after everything she pushed aside to aid a psychologically ailing friend. Now or never Griff. She hesitated for a few seconds ready to retreat back to the comfort of her plush bed. You owe it to yourself to drag your ass out of this slump. She took a deep breath before pulling open the door, the alcohol scented air immediately vigorously rushing into her room.
Clarke immediately sought the cooler in the living room. She needed calm her up-surging nerves jittering in trepidation. She would be bombarded with questions inquiring about Niylah, her wellbeing, questions seeking answers to how a perfect A-1 relationship turned to 113% shit. She stopped, still in her doorway unsure whether to take her first step into the world once more.
She compelled her protesting feet to advance, move to the hallway.
It took five minutes to arrive at the red cooler in the kitchen.
Clarke stopped dead in her tracks, pegged inertly ten paces before the cooler. The last several days, she grew accustomed to a particular set of presumptuous hot-shot green eyes twinkling specks of swagger. One. Two. Three. Breath. “I didn’t know stalking was on your resume.”
Lexa took her sweet time turning to look at blondie. She’d recognize the voice anywhere. “I didn’t know you were a party person,” she countered, smug grin plastered on her face. The blonde looked good tonight. Her light blue crop jeans matched the white graphic tee.
“Well my two best friends sort of live here,” Clarke stiffly said, intentionally not mentioning Raven’s name, keeping her anonymity. “Why are you here?” Third time in three days. Conceivably penance for her pathetic decorum —-then again… it takes two to tango. It wasn’t all Clarke.
“Really?” Lexa quirked a brow. “I would’ve never guessed.” Anya had told her the blonde’s best friend was Raven Reyes, and the other best friend was Octavia Blake.
“Can you please leave me alone?”
“How could I leave a pretty girl like you alone?” Lexa inwardly groaned. Yes, she really did just say that. Great going Lexa, that was indeed the smoothest you’ve ever been all year. Be the prime example of how to be cheesy as fack.
“You simply turn around, move your feet in the direction away from me, and leave.”