Chapter 1
"Clarissa."
She remembered the rate of her heartbeat minutes before a math exam. She would be able to feel it beat in her throat, pumping blood through her veins at a rapid pace. Breathing would sometimes become more difficult but it was nothing bad, because it would be gone the moment she would start with her calculations.
"Clary."
She remembered the rate of her heartbeat when her best friend's life was on the line. She remembered the hyperventilation when her thoughts had gotten stuck on the worst case scenario and she recalled the edge of thick tears in her eyes, constantly forming, falling and disappearing. It wasn't a situation that her other friends couldn't make easier with comfort and tea.
But never was it as bad as this time.
She could feel her heart beat in her temples, the extreme pace of it pumping the venom through her veins all the quicker. She remembered stories of ravener venom, and how it was supposed to feel like you were being burned alive, how fingertips were supposed to be too painful to hold onto anything and how you weren't supposed to be able to stand on your own feet. Oddly enough, she felt nothing. She felt nothing but her heartbeat and the only thing that she could do, the only thing that she had to do, was to keep running.
She didn't notice the blood from the wound on the back of her head trickling down her neck, soaking her once perfectly clean shirt in a darkened red. She felt the threat of dinner coming back up every time her eyes looked into a light, sudden lightheaded moments making her stumble into streetlights, trashcans and many people. Her invisibility rune may have been nothing more than a useless tattoo at that point. There was, however, no time to worry about that, because she knew that if she stopped, it would catch up to her. She kept her legs moving, knowing that if she stopped they wouldn't start again. She turned many corners, hoping that the demon would lose track of her, but she was forced to a stop when she stumbled over her feet in an attempt to avoid running over a stray cat. Any balance she had left was gone and she fell face-first onto the ground, at the end of an alleyway, right in front of a sidewalk. Her right arm had gotten stuck below the rest of her body and red hair stuck to her lips. The coldness of the floor was a welcome feeling against her hot and reddened cheek, her heavy breathing visible in the winter air, heart seemingly beating in her ears. Feet of the passersby walked through her vision. Nobody noticed her there, on the ground, as her rune kept her from being seen by the mundanes. At the very least it saved her the embarrassment.
"Clary."
There was no escaping a voice that seemingly sounded inside your head, but she had wanted to try. She still wanted to try. Clarissa Fairchild had never been one to give up easy, but no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't get her body to move again. It felt like the ravener venom had been eating away at her muscles, her arms too weak to move as the adrenaline had stopped being of use. There was nothing for her to do aside from numbly staring at the feet that approached her slowly. She could feel the tears well up in her eyes and her jaws clenched together, trying to keep herself from hyperventilating as death walked closer. Her mind could come up with many ways to die if she wanted it to, but Clary never imagined that her death would be in the shape of her family.
She watched how the demon she had been running from knelt before her, a hand reaching towards her face, index finger sticking out and placed on the side of her chin. The demon turned her head and Clary could feel the strain in her neck that the position caused. It forced her to look it in the eyes, its finger pushing harder and harder into her chin the more she refused to look at it. Obstinacy clearly wasn't the reaction that the demon was going for, and thus it pushed Clary onto her back with a growl. It sat on top of her, a knee on either side, and hovered its face above hers, fingers once more clenched around her chin and this time Clary looked. She stared with widened eyes, tears falling and air seemingly lacking the oxygen that she needed. The sight of his ever so familiar face was something she had to miss for over two years. She had to miss the brown eyes, the crooked glasses and the waves in his brown hair. She had to miss it because he was dead and this wasn't him, but she still heard the name slip past her lips. "Simon."
And oh, how quickly the look of irritation disappeared from the demon's face, eyes suddenly shining with glee at the young girl's pained expression and her tight, squeaking voice. The wide grin that formed on its lips was nothing short of unsettling, with several rows of pointy, sharp teeth showing off, seemingly ready to tear into her flesh. The demon let go of her chin, its expression turning somewhat neutral - but with amusement still in its eyes and only the tiniest trace of the grin left playing at its lips. Clary could feel goosebumps pop up when the demon ran his fingers across her cheek, and while she tried to pull away from its touch she didn't have much reach with her neck. "I love you, Clary."
She could feel the pain in her heart and the tightness in her chest when it uttered the four last words she'd heard Simon speak. Clary's jaws were clenched together even tighter than they were before, arms finally able to move again and pulling away from underneath the demon. She weakly tried to push and pull it off of her, but her muscles still felt too weak to accomplish anything with her attempts. So she dropped them to her sides again.
The words made her remember the fact that she never got a chance to answer him, to tell him that yes, she loved him too and that she always would. The words made her want to scream because shape-shifting demons could never say something that they hadn't heard before. She wanted to punch and kick and scream at it because shape-shifting demons could never mimic a voice saying a specific set of words unless they had heard it before. But looking at the joy on the demon's face, she didn't want to give it the pleasure anymore.
The shape-shifter ran a sharp nail from Clary's temple to her cheek, spilling a light trail of blood. It looked like it was about to speak again, but it was interrupted by an arrow tearing through its chest. The arrow - still sticking out of the demon's chest - had bright red fletching that Clary recognized, and the clear hit turned the creature to glowing ashes, from where the arrow had hit its target to the soles of the demon's shoes. The disappearing weight made it easier for Clary to breathe and when the demon was gone completely the arrow dropped onto her chest. She relaxed the muscles of her jaws and let out a quiet sob of pure relief. Hasty footsteps could be heard coming closer, one of them distinctly sounding like high heels. Clary pushed herself into a sitting position with shaking arms and every bit of effort she had. Her body felt somewhat numb and it felt weak, but as the adrenaline started to fade away she could feel the burning of the ravener venom start to take its place.
"Clare!" The young redhead looked up at the use of the distinct nickname and watched how the rightful creator of it sunk to her knees next to her. "By the Angels, are you okay?"
Clary tensed up at the gentle hand supporting her back, uncertain whether or not this was the real Isabelle Lightwood. She wasn't the best at recognizing demons on sight and shape-shifters were among the most difficult to identify. It usually helped when her friends were around, because they had more experience than she did. Isabelle looked worried at the sudden tension of Clary's muscles, but quickly after realization flashed in her eyes.
She put her curling black hair behind her ear, pinching her earlobe as she dropped her hand back down. Isabelle's brother Alec - the one that shot the arrow - knelt down on the other side of Clary, putting his bow onto the ground, and made the same movement to pinch his ear. That little signal had been something that they had quietly agreed upon to identify each other with in the case of any shape-shifters. There were a total of six people that knew about it: Clary herself, Alec and Isabelle Lightwood, Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis and Luke Garroway. It was a little trick that Luke had shown them when they were still children, and so far no demon had picked up on it. It was a quick, random motion that they had learned to do inconspicuously. For the longest time both Simon and Clary believed that it was meant for the demons that small children believed in - the ones in the closet or below the bed. She remembered how her mother had been angry with Luke for even bringing the creatures up. It wasn't until years later that it became clear why Luke had really taught them, and why her mother had gotten angry. It wasn't until a year ago - when she was eighteen - that Clary had found out that the signal was meant for real demons - and that they existed, and that her mother had been hiding it from her and had asked the Lightwoods to do the same. They had done a miraculously good job, considering that she had grown up with Isabelle, Alec, Jace and Luke - because they had been trained. They knew, all those years, but were never allowed to speak about it because Clary's mother made them promise that they wouldn't until she was an adult. It was a promise kept even after her death - a promise kept especially after her death, because Jocelyn Fairchild never wanted anything more than a normal childhood for her daughter.
No matter how much Clary loved her mother, she wished she had known about the world and its dangers, and that she would have learned to defend herself from it. It had always been Jace, Isabelle and Alec protecting her and Simon from the world, one distracting them as best they could while two of them went to take care of the danger. It had been like that ever since they were teenagers and went out on their own more, Luke unable to go along everywhere they went as he did when they were children - when it had always been Luke protecting the five of them. It made sense why he had shown them the little trick at such a young age. It had mostly been for the sakes of Alec, Isabelle and Jace, because they knew about the shadow world, and because they were fighting in it. Clary remembered how they would often pinch their earlobes when they had split up with silly excuses and grouped back together. She always thought they were habits, but it was them showing each other they were real. Luke had just wanted Simon and Clary to know, too. Just in case.
It was a reassuring signal, especially now. It helped her to relax because yes, these were the Lightwoods that she grew up with. They weren't shape-shifting demons. They were Isabelle and Alec Lightwood, both looking incredibly alarmed when Clary's relaxed expression suddenly changed to one of pure agony, her body doubling over and gut-wrenching screams escaping her lips. The adrenaline that prevented her from feeling the pain before had now disappeared completely, and the burning sensation of the ravener venom hit her full-force. She could feel every vein in her body burn.
Isabelle quickly traced the trail of blood on Clary's neck back to the wound on her head. It was about as big as the palm of her hand, blood still dripping down Clary's neck slowly. The wound itself was covered with a green, tar-like substance that made Isabelle's eyes widen. Both siblings immediately recognized the green as ravener saliva. Isabelle made quick movements to grab her stele. "Alec, call Jace. We are going to need to give her a blood transfusion. Quick."
Alec didn't hesitate for a second to grab his phone and dial the number he was expected to, watching how Isabelle activated the iratze on the other side of Clary's neck with her stele as he waited. The wound itself closed up quickly and left no trace of existence behind, but the healing rune did little to ease Clary's sudden flashes of pain. Isabelle had already picked Clary up from the ground when Jace answered the call, the three of them already moving toward their home.
"Alec, it's one in the morning. Why the sudden call? Where even are you?"
"Clary's been attacked. A ravener stabbed her. We need blood. Lot's of it."
"Got it."