The Choice
Nyssa removed the bullet from her side and stitched herself up without even flinching. She then took some herbs to speed her recovery. She walked over to her window and looked out into the vast star lit sky. She was contemplating on what she was really going to do. Would she really give up on her after all they had shared? Would she keep fighting and wait until she realizes that they should be together? She has to do what's best for Sara, but she too wasn't sure what that was.
Wanting to clear her head, she went on to train the moment she woke up, not caring if her stitches open up.
"Your father wants us back tomorrow." Alec interrupted.
"You told him what happened."
"He should be aware of what you're getting yourself into here."
"This is my life."
"Your life is to the League."
It was true for most parts of her life, but ever since she met Sara, it all changed for her. She wanted something more outside of that life. More specifically, she wanted to just be with Sara. It doesn't matter what her life would be as long as she has her by her side. And she doesn't know if she could have that, have her, or even if she should.
She kept punching and kicking the bag until her stitches popped and bled again. She knew she shouldn't be angry and frustrated. It wasn't the life for her in the first place. She just kept pushing and holding onto it.
She wants to see her, talk to her, and hold her, even for one last time, but she's afraid that she might not want to ever let go again. She wants her to let her stay. She can keep a distance if that's what she wants, but she hopes she would let her stay. She no longer can imagine her life without her.
She doesn't know what to do, whether to follow the League or her heart. The life she has had as far as she could remember or the life she doesn't even know she deserves.
She grabbed her phone and dialed.
"Hello."
"Hey, Nyssa. You okay?" Rebecca responded at the other end of the line.
"I'll be fine. How are you holding up?"
"Still trying to get a grip on things. You've vaguely told me about it but seeing you do it is just something else."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. You saved our lives."
"By the way, I'm leaving earlier than expected. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"Oh."
"Can you tell her I said goodbye? Tell her that I would keep my promise."
"Ok."
"Thanks."
"Why don't you call her?"
"I don't know if I can talk to her right now. Goodbye, Rebecca."
"Be safe."
"I'll do my best."
Nyssa hung up and she knew that Rebecca would later on call Sara and tell her about it. It was true that she can't talk to her right now. She doesn't know what she was going to say to her. She wants to see her but she's afraid of what would happen, what she would say to her.
She went up to her room and tended to her wound again. She looked at it closely. A wound she would never forget. A wound she got saving her love. A love she might have lost in the process.
Just as Nyssa had predicted, Rebecca called Sara right after she hung up, but she didn't tell her over the phone. She asked her to come over to her house so they could talk properly, and so that Sara won't be able to evade her.
"You look terrible." Rebecca greeted her as she entered the house.
"Thanks. You really know how to brighten up my day."
"What happened? Aside from...you know."
"Nothing."
"I know you, kid. You don't just cry over nothing."
"I read her last letter."
"And?"
Sara took a deep breath, looked for the letter in her bag, and handed it to Rebecca. She read through it silently.
"Wow." was all she was able to say.
"I know."
"Do you believe her?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want her to leave?"
"I don't know."
"What would you do if she does?"
"I don't know."
"Do you love her?"
It was a question Sara refused to answer. Part of her knows that she does, another part doesn't want to acknowledge it because she's scared of what could happen.
"She's leaving tomorrow morning, Sara. She wanted me to tell you she said goodbye, and that she will keep her promise."
"What?! She's leaving already? Why?"
"I don't know."
"Why won't she tell me herself?"
"She said she doesn't know if she could talk to you right now."
"How dare she do this to me? After all she put me through, she's just gonna up and leave without even saying anything to me?"
"What are you going to do?"
"I gotta go. She's got another thing coming if she thinks she could just do that to me."
Sara hurriedly drove off to Nyssa's house, fuming. She thought of the hurtful thigs she wants to say to her on the way, but it all went away when she found Nyssa by her window looking out, not even trying to hide the sadness in her eyes.
"You're leaving."
"You already know that."
"I didn't expect it to be so soon."
"But isn't that what you want."
Nyssa was still looking out the window, not turning to look at Sara. She hoped she would say no and ask her to stay.
"Why didn't you tell me yourself?"
"The truth?"
"Of course."
"I didn't want to see you look at me like that again. I was afraid that if I had told you myself, you wouldn't care and just tell me to leave."
"Is that what you think of me?"
"No. That's what I think of myself. I'm a killer, Sara. That's who I am. And I don't deserve to be happy, especially with someone like you. I understand if you wouldn't want to see me again. I understand if you won't believe me. But what we had, who I was when I'm with you, what I feel for you, those are all real. I do love you."
"I know. That's what scares me."
"I'd give everything up for you. As long as I'm with you nothing else matters."
"But that's your life."
"I choose what I want with my life."
"Sometimes, there are things that you can't just run away from. That life of yours, it will follow you. You have got to be the best they have. You said you're the heir of something. Do you honestly think they would just let you go?"
"What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to leave and forget about me. Forget all this. Forget about us."
"Tell me, Sara. Would you forget about me?"
"I hope not."
"Then why ask it from me?"
Sara paused for a while. She doesn't want her to leave, but she knew that it would be best for both of them if they just let go of each other.
"I don't want you risking your life out there while longing for me, longing for something you can't have."
Nyssa was hurt beyond repair. She can't believe that who she was born to be cost her the most important thing to her.
"Tell me you don't mean that."
"I'm sorry."
"So that's it?"
"Yes. Goodbye, Nyssa."
"You came all the way here to tell me to leave and forget about you. You couldn't just have let me leave thinking you simply don't care? Yet you come here, letting me know that you love me or at least care as much, but chooses not to."
Sara was on the verge of tears as her heart was breaking. She hadn't meant it to be like that. See Nyssa so broken and empty, she wants to take everything back, but no words would come out. She can't even move from where she was standing.
"Don't worry, Sara. I will keep my promise. If this is what you want, then be it. Goodbye, my love."
She walked back to the window and turned her back to Sara. She wanted to be alone, yet she also wanted to hold her and make her change her mind.
"Everything's ready for tomorrow." Alec said as he walked past the room, breaking the suffocating silence looming the room.
"Thank you. Would you help Sara on her way out."
It wasn't how she had seen the situation going. It turned out to be worse. She thought she would be okay with whatever she gets to decide on doing when she got there, but she is definitely not okay with this. She's not okay with just leaving things between them like that. But she was too stunned and hurt to even do anything but walk away.