An Affair To Remember

Clarke and Lexa remained true to their word. For almost two months, the two girls have enjoyed each other's presence as “friends.” The tension is still there and oh so palpable, but they try to ignore it’s intensity. They only meet up in public. Perhaps on a subconscious level they know it’s smart to meet strictly in places where they can’t allow their deepest desires to consume them.

They begin to have a routine after a few weeks of hanging out. Clarke meets Lexa for coffee on Tuesday afternoons near the brunette’s editor’s building. They realize that every Tuesday Lexa was on floor 12 in yet another tedious meeting about her current book, Clarke was on floor 10 eating sushi with her friend Octavia catching up on their week. That was the first coincidence they caught on to.

The second coincidence is that both of them run the same trail in Central Park every week. So now on Sundays, Lexa and Clarke meet up at 9 a.m. sharp for a intense run in the park. After they were all sweaty and overexerted, they go home and shower (separately) and then meet up again to visit one of the many art galleries open in the city. The gallery would vary depending on the mood the artist was in. But without fail, Sunday nights Clarke’s alive with inspiration. And while Clarke is painting more fervent than she has in years, Lexa is writing with more enthusiasm than she has ever.

Two months of longing glances and stolen touches. Two months of pent up desires. Two months of complete and utter denial on both of their parts.

Clarke never mentions her husband who shall not be named. Finn Collins is an entitled asshole with a silver spoon permanently up his ass from what Lexa can tell. The one time Clarke mentioned him she let it slip that he was on a business trip in San Francisco with his father, Preston Collins. Lexa knew the name sounded familiar. It only took a quick Google search to realize that Clarke’s in laws were political royalty. The Collins have been in the game of politics for generations it seems. Finn’s grandfather was even Secretary of State years ago.

Lexa promised herself she wouldn’t go down the rabbit hole and search up Clarke’s husband. She only briefly looked up her father in law out of pure curiosity. If Clarke didn’t share this part of her life with her, she had no right to pry. But from what she did read all those weeks ago about the Collins, it seems they were used to getting anything they wanted with little to no questions asked. It angered Lexa that Clarke seemed to be one of those things.

Lexa may not know much about Finn Collins, but she knows in her bones that he doesn’t deserve to be with Clarke. Clarke, who is so pure of heart. Clarke, who is so selfless. Clarke, the girl who was successfully restarted her heart so that she no longer permanently feels numb. No. Now Lexa feels warm and at ease whenever the blonde is around. To say the least, this “just friends” thing is killing her.

Lexa would never make a move on a married woman though. Even if said married woman is none other than Clarke Griffin. Because Lexa cares for Clarke enough that she wouldn’t do anything to ruin her happiness. And if Clarke is happy with Finn, then she will fill the role of just her “friend.” Ever since that day in the hotel room, Lexa has been good. She never touches her for longer than necessary and tries her best not to give off what her sister calls “classic Lex heart eyes.”

Lexa has (reluctantly) accepted the fact that she will never be able to feel Clarke’s touch, watch her squirm in pleasure, hear Clarke moan under her, or even just hold her as they drift off into dreamless sleeps. She’s okay with being just Clarke’s friend because truth be told, the blonde has turned her world upside down in the best way possible. She’s writing better than she has in years (if ever) and she’s smiling again. Not a contrived smile to assure the world that she’s alright. No. Lexa is smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. A smile so pure it not only meets her eyes, it consumes her whole being. It’s inexplainable how fast these feelings have hit her, but she’s glad they have. She will never regret being consumed by the fierce and loving entity that is Clarke Griffin.

///

Clarke hated cheaters. She believed that there was no excuse for cheating. Clarke is now a hypocrite.

When the blonde was 16 years old, she met a girl named Niylah. Niylah was the daughter of a the owner of very successful pharmacy company in D.C. Clarke’s mother was thrilled that her daughter had found a “suitable” partner. Really though, Abby was happy for the good press this could equal. None of that mattered to Clarke. Niylah was the first girl Clarke ever kissed. She was Clarke’s first love, first everything. They were together for a year until Clarke stumbled in on Niylah and some bitch named Ontari having sex at a party. For months, Niylah tried to get Clarke back. Promising it was the first and last time. After about 5 months, Clarke gave in and decided to give Niylah another chance. After all, she loved the girl and Niylah swore it was a drunken mistake.

It turns out it wasn’t a drunken mistake and it wasn’t the first time. Niylah was screwing Ontari since that night. And before that she slept with at least three other girls to Clarke’s knowledge while they were together. Turns out, Niylah was just as much an opportunist as the rest of D.C. politicians. The press was good and Clarke was a “good lay who was passably cute” in Niylah’s words. So when she was 18, Clarke left D.C. heartbroken and moved to New York for art school, leaving behind the fucked up world of politics.

So cheating was a sore subject for Clarke. And yet here she is engaging in an emotional affair. Because who are we kidding, that’s exactly what this is. She never mentions Lexa to Finn, not that he would care anyways.

Finn Collins was once a sweet guy. Finn and her met at a bar after a failed blind date. She was marinating in self pity when a decent looking boy (because under no circumstance was Finn Collins a man) came up to her with a wide smile and a shit ton of compliments. And it was an ego boost. It was rare that Clarke Griffin needed nor wanted an ego boost but the night she met Finn was one of those times.

He said all the right things. He was polite and respectful, but still funny and daring. Sure, he seemed to be a bit selfish and egotistical but Clarke was willing to look past it for the time being. After all, she wasn’t looking for anything serious with him.

Finn started taking her on cute little dates. He spent so much time planning adventures for them to go on. After two months of dating, he flew her to a one night only art exhibit in L.A. featuring three of her favorite artists. It was thoughtful. He was thoughtful. So Clarke let him woo her.

Clarke loved Finn for the facade he portrayed. She thought he was a sweet, idealistic boy with doe eyes and too much hope for peace. Then Finn changed. Finn was after all Preston Collins son. For the two years they dated, Finn expressed no interest in continuing in the family business. Then something snapped. Right after Finn and her got married, however, he slowly changed.

Soon he was always dragging her to his father’s galas (the same galas he used to detest). He would bring her along on long tedious business dinners, treating her more like a trophy then his artistic intelligent fiancee. When people used to ask about her profession, Finn used to go on a twenty minute rant about how intricate her art is. How she went to art school at the best school in the country and still managed to graduate top of her class with a promise of employment at one of the best art galleries in the city. But now, Finn waves off the question with such disinterest in his eyes. Now all he says is “A profession? No, my Clarke here is more much too invested her little hobbies to have a profession. My mother has been trying to convince her to join the board for a few of her charities though. Us Collins are very much invested in philanthropy, raising up the community with our donations.”

For years, Finn was still loving and compassionate in private. In public though, he played the part of a uninterested husband. Soon enough, that’s exactly what he became. Uninterested. So Finn doesn’t care that Clarke made a new “friend.” Finn doesn’t even care if he sees Clarke on a daily basis. As long as she’s home at night to warm his bed and arrives at every gala looking regal and elegant by his side.

Clarke put up with him for the sake of her art, for her family, and a small part of her hopes that their marriage can be salvaged. Not to mention the fact that, Finn’s family basically owns New York. They own the buildings of all of Clarke’s galleries and know everyone and anyone in the art world. Clarke might have made it on her own, but if she were to divorce Finn, all her work would be down the drain. She would be put on the unofficial blacklist. Never did she imagine that her love life would play such an integral role in her art.

Her art got her through her father’s death, her first heartbreak, her first few lonely months in a new city. Clarke’s life is her art. To give that away to get out of a loveless marriage would break her heart. Besides Finn doesn’t bother her. He’s too caught up in his own world. He never mistreated her either, So why go through with a divorce? Sure she can’t find true love but she never found anyone worthy of her time anyways. Atleast not until Lexa.

Lexa is a new and very complicated addition to Clarke’s life. It’s more than sexual attraction. Lexa fills Clarke with feelings of peace. Feelings of love. Lexa looks at her like she is the world. Lexa makes her laugh harder than Finn ever did, even before his 360 change. She even opened up to Lexa more than she has with anyone. Lexa knows about her whole life, except Finn. Clarke thinks that if she introduces Finn into her world of Lexa, the denial she’s feeling would pierce the bubble. Because Clarke will have to admit to herself (more so than she already has) that Lexa is more than a friend. And it will also force her to admit that even though she doesn’t feel like she has a husband she without a doubt does.

So two months into their “friendship” when Lexa does in fact meet Finn, the bubble is most definitely popped.