Stronger than impulse
The drive back into town was rather relaxing as Sans simply half dozed in the back seat while the vehicle rocked him gently. It was quiet which Sans was thankful for as Undyne didn’t try to make small talk, getting the hint that he simply did not have the energy to participate in conversation. Instead, when they got back to the bar, she simply pulled over at the curb and turned her head over her shoulder.
“Hey bone head were back home.” She announced.
Sans nodded, signaling that he had heard her, but kept his sockets closed, taking another moment to prepare himself. When he finally hoisted himself up his bones ached in protest and he grunted in discomfort.
“You need a hand?” Undyne then questioned, and Sans shook his head as he waited for the throbbing to subside some before he attempted to move again.
“Nah, I’ll be fine, damage isn’t serious, just cosmetic really.” He said, shooting her a smirk and a wink. Undyne rolled her good eye in response, but still looked a little worried.
“Well…if you need anything just ask. Asgore says he’s sorry he couldn’t get it dealt with sooner, but says you shouldn’t have any more trouble form here on out.” She explained.
“That definitely takes a load off my mind thanks… and uh, thanks for the ride back.” Sans said as he opened the door and stepped out on to the street.
“Anytime.” Undyne replied shooting him a toothy grin before she peeled away from the curb and continued on down the street.
Sans watched her go for a moment before he turned back toward Grillby’s. He cocked his head in confusion when he saw that the bar looked dark from the streets. Its windows were devoid of the usual warm glow that radiated from within the welcoming space. As he sauntered forward to the door he realized that the closed sign had already been hung, which was very uncommon as it was still early in the evening.
Grillby was a bit of a workaholic in Sans’ opinion and would normally never close early, in exception to certain holidays or for family emergencies. Sans dug inside his pockets for his keys as the door had already been locked. When he got inside and relocked the front door he turned to continue on his way up the stairs, but stopped in his tracks when he saw that Grillby was leaning over top of the bar counter staring at him expectantly. Sans quickly fastened his usual grin across his face.
“Oh, heya pal”. He greeted casually as he slowly moseyed forward toward the bar top.
Grillby didn’t reply at first and let his gaze fall over Sans’ banged up and bruised bones. Sans shuffled a little awkwardly in place. He turned slightly, subconsciously trying to hide his mangled hand, but Grillby’s keen eyes had already made a note of the damage done.
The flame elemental then reached under the counter and grabbed one of the last remaining bottles of whisky that he had hid in his secret reserve before he poured Sans a double.
“This should help take the edge off.” He said, placing the glass in front of the skeleton.
Sans sat down at the invitation, but felt a little uneasy at Grillby’s insistence. There was clearly something that his friend wanted to discuss with him.
“Thanks….” Sans began casually taking a sip of the whiskey. “Say, you’re closing up pretty early tonight. Any uh, special occasions?” He then asked carefully. Grillby shook his head.
“I figured that it just didn’t make much sense to stay open when I don’t have all that much stock left to sell.” He answered and Sans almost internally smacked himself. Oh right the raid.
“Ah jeez, sorry about that Grillbz.” Sans said sheepishly, feeling a little guilty that Grillby had probably lost a whole whack of profit because of this stupid incident.
“Hey, I’ll tell you what, I bet I can work out a deal with Asgore to compensate you for some of your lost product.” Sans then offered, but Grillby only shook his head.
“No, that isn’t necessary Sans.” He replied. “I appreciate the gesture, but these are the risks that one has to take when getting involved in this line of work. I am prepared to cover the expenses myself.”
Sans nodded in understanding, but still felt like he should maybe insist. He held his tongue however, knowing that Grillby would never accept. The flame elemental could be too proud a monster at times.
“So…. You didn’t just hang around here waiting on me did you?” Sans then asked as he let his fingers roll over the bar top.
“Yes I did.” Grillby replied. “You asked me to keep your seat warm after all, and I figured someone should be around to keep a watch on Papyrus and Ms. Frisk”.
“You didn’t have to do that Grillby.” Sans said, but in truth he was relieved that the someone had been keeping an eye on the two.
“They didn’t give you any trouble did they?” Sans then questioned and Grillby shook his head.
“No, but they were both quite worked up. Papyrus was very worried he even called Asgore to demand a favor for you.” Grillby answered, and Sans felt another guilty, and slightly embarrassed, swell in his bones.
“Aw jeez.” He said.
“You are lucky that you have a brother that cares for you so.” Grillby said. Sans smiled to himself at that.
“Yeah Paps is the best.” He replied, taking another sip from his drink. There was a slight pause then before Grillby spoke again.
“Ms. Frisk was also very worried.” He began, and Sans noted that there was something lingering behind the flame elemental's tone, something akin to anger.
“Oh was she? I’ll uh, make sure I explain everything to the both of them.” Sans answered, his pinpricks shying away not wanting to linger on this topic any longer.
“Sans.” Grillby continued, his tone flat and serious. “Frisk is very attached to you isn’t she?”
Sans almost spit out his drink in response. He coughed it down instead however as he quickly thought of a decent excuse.
“Heheh, well uh, she’s really fit in with me and Paps, almost like one of the family you could say.” Sans replied, attempting to brush off the serious nature of the question. Grillby still starred Sans down, not at all convinced.
“It’s more than that isn’t it Sans?’ He then asked.
Sans tensed, his jaw clamping shut, not allowing him to answer. He had thought that he had already finished with all of the interrogations for today, but now it seemed that Grillby had prepared one more round for him.
At Sans’ stubborn silence Grilby sighed, knowing now what the truth was.
“Sans, I warned you not to get too close….” He began.
“I know.” Sans snapped, hating being lectured when he had already known the consequences.
Grillby was silent for a moment as Sans slumped down in front of him.
“I will not tell anyone about this, but at least let me know that you are not just fooling around.” Grillby then demanded coldly.
Sans inwardly recoiled at Grillby’s words. How could he think that lowly of him?
“It isn’t like that!” He spat angrily, but Grillby did not back down, even when Sans threw him an offended glare.
“Then tell me what it is like Sans! Have you thought this through? What were your main goals for perusing her? Did you expect to start a life with her? Did you expect that the world would be lenient if you were caught? Did you think that you could sneak around under everyone’s noses forever?” Grillby continued on to ask heatedly. Sans paused as he was slightly taken aback at the venom present in his friends tone.
“She is young and impressionable Sans, and also very very vulnerable, especially in a place like this! Tell me what you were thinking!” He continued to press.
Sans struggled to unstick his jaw as he thought about how to respond to all of Grillby’s questions. He thought that he had known the answers. It had all used to be so clear before, but suddenly everything became so clouded in his mind and Sans couldn’t remember anymore.
“I …I don’t know.” He finally admitted. “It just all sort off happened … at first it was just small things. I didn’t think that it would escalate. I didn’t think that it was such a big deal and then ….” Sans let out a low breath as he regained his composure.
“I’m not just fooling around.” He then stated instead, knowing that at least that much was true.
Silence again surrounded the two of them as Sans continued to shift from under Grillby’s disapproving gaze. After a moment Grillby let out a sigh, his anger deflating as he then reached a hand out across the bar and rested it on Sans shoulder.
“Alright Sans” He then said, agreeing to let it go. His ember eyes softened as Sans managed to throw on a weak smile in return.
“I uh heh, got myself into a bit of a pickle here didn’t I?” He then asked, and Grillby nodded along.
“The biggest of pickles my friend.” He replied.
After Sans had finished with his drink, and had talked a little more with Grillby regarding his situation, he then stood to leave. He felt drained as he ascended the staircase. He was still struggling internally to come up with an explanation to all of Grillby’s questions. In truth he knew that there really wasn’t one. He knew that he had ignored the looming consequences; that he had pretended to be oblivious to them in an attempt to starve off dealing with reality. Even now his mind was pushing the conversation that he had just endured far away, pretending that he would deal with it at a later time when he was better rested, but he knew that those were empty promises.
Well at least he knew that grillby would keep quiet about all this, though it still bothered him immensely knowing that grillby was able to figure it out. It made him wonder if perhaps others were getting wise to his game.
When he opened the door he was blindsided by both Papyrus and Frisk running forward and embracing him. Their arms wrapped around him as they both began rambling on and on about how worried they had been. Sans only half listened to their fretful words, instead focusing on how safe and warm he felt surrounded by the people that he loved.
Sans indulged in his brothers nagging voice in his ear as he rattled on and on about how he should have been more careful, and he indulged in the feeling of Frisk’s hair tickling him under his chin as she squeezed him round his ribcage so tight. He didn’t respond to either of their inquiries about his injuries, and instead just returned there embraces, keeping them both right where they were by his side.
“Hey, let’s just sit down for a sec together ok?” He then spoke up softly when both Papyrus’ and Frisks’ questions began to become too much.
They were both silent for a second at his request, but then both promptly agreed. Papyrus brought out some cozy quilts from the linen closet and splayed them all out over the couch, while Frisk arranged every pillow that she could find over the cushions. Sans shuffled forward toward their combined creation before he promptly flopped over the entirety of it.
“Paps, kid, sit with me.” He said simply as his bones suddenly felt as heavy as lead.
Both Frisk and Papyrus immediately complied. Papyrus lifted Sans’ skull and rested it on his lap and Frisk skootched herself next to his side, wedging her legs under his as they were propped up over the arm rest.
“IS THAT BETTER BROTHER?” Papyrus asked delicately smoothing a hand over Sans skull, and Sans nodded his sockets now closed.
“Yeah, thanks.” He said simply, before he drifted off to sleep. It was sure nice to be home again.
When Sans awoke a few hours later he felt a warmth smoothing over his skull and gentle humming in his ear cavities. He kept his sockets closed for a moment as he registered that Frisk must have changed places with Papyrus on the couch as now she was the one cradling his head in her lap.
Momentarily he felt a little nervous about their position together so close to his brother who he could hear banging around in the kitchen, but he supposed that it wouldn’t really imply anything. When he felt ready he opened his sockets.
Frisk stopped humming when she realized that he was awake, and Sans saw a mix of emotions flash across her expression as he looked up from her lap. Happiness, relief, worry, sadness, even a little anger. She only held his gaze for a moment before she turned toward the kitchen.
“Papyrus! He’s awake!” She called and Sans could hear his brother abruptly stop whatever it was that he was doing and rush around the corner to the living area.
“SANS! THANK THE STARS! HOW ARE YOU FEELING BROTHER?” Papyrus said, now kneeling by the couch.
Sans blinked in surprise at the wide, watery sockets of his brother that were filled with concern and also relief. He tried to prop himself up to respond, but then Frisk clamped on to his shoulders firmly and forced him back down.
“Stay put.” She ordered, and Sans was more than a little taken aback.
“Wha?” But before he could really question her actions, Sans noticed his brother had something in his hand. The calcium cream.
Sans began to struggle.
“BROTHER, COME NOW DON’T BE DIFFICULT! WE NEED TO TREAT YOUR HAND, JUST SHOW IT TO ME.” Papyrus huffed.
Frisk tightened her grip on Sans, now wrapping her legs around his torso as well.
“Kid! Paps! Knock it off! I’m fine, I don’t need it!” Sans tried to protest.
He couldn’t shake Frisk off of himself however, as his bones were too sore to really try to put up a proper fight. He realized then that his brother and Frisk had planned this.
“Maybe we should have applied it when he was sleeping?” Frisk then suggested as she kept her iron lock on Sans.
“NO, IF WE DID THAT HE MAY HAVE WOKEN UP IN SHOCK AND HURT HIMSELF EVEN MORE. IT’S BETTER IF HE KNOWS ITS COMING. Papyrus replied a little coldly, now getting a hold of Sans’ wrist.
“Paps no! It’s fine!” Sans argued, trying to take back his injured hand.
“IT IS NOT FINE BROTHER! YOU NEED TO START HEALING ALL OF THOSE CRAKES THIS INSTANT! IF WE DON’T THEN THEY MIGHT MEND WRONG AND CALCIFY COMPLETELY! DO YOU WANT A USELESS STUB FOR A HAND?” Papyrus retorted now growing tiresome of his brothers whining.
“No….” Sans then reluctantly admitted.
Papyrus then splayed Sans’ fingers out to see the damage more clearly. Sans winced as His injured bones moved out of there resting position.
Frisk had now mostly unwrapped herself from Sans’ torso as he was no longer fighting to get away, but she did keep an arm on his shoulder to maybe supply a little comfort.
Sans grunted as the cream settled into all of the little cracks and crevices. It stung and burned and just made his bones intensely itch as it continued to seep deeper and deeper. He leaned his head back and threw his other hand over his face as a cold sweat broke out across his skull.
More than anything he hated this feeling and it never passed quickly enough.
When the cream had finally done its work and his burning hand now only ached dully he let out a shaky breath.
“THERE NOW, THAT WASN’T SO BAD WAS IT?” Papyrus then said a tad condescendingly as he bandaged up his brothers hand. Sans only muttered under his breath incoherently.
The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful and sans spent most of it curled in a ball on the couch as he sulked feeling a little betrayed by his families tricks, Even if they were for his own benefit.
Frisk had just come back from her bedroom with a book in hand, one of the few that Sans had picked up for her from the library. She cautiously approached the couch, eyeing Sans to see if his temperament had improved any. He ignored her, clearly still displeased with her and his brothers sneaky behavior. She frowned slightly to herself, but took a seat on the cushion next to his anyway.
Sans remained aloof, but every so often he could feel the couch cushions shift as frisk scooted herself closer and closer up to his side. He huffed to himself at her efforts to weasel her way in unnoticed. She could sure be persistent when she wanted to be.
After a few minutes more had passed, frisk began to creep her fingers slowly across the couch where sans uninjured hand lay lax. He flicked his pinpricks over to her, watching her attempts inconspicuously. He could see that she kept her eyes firmly glued to the page on her book. A slightly vexed expression was held over her face as she nervously reached out and touched one of his fingertips. He sighed giving in as he knew that he didn’t have the heart to snatch his hand away, even if he did still feel a little sore about her and his brother’s antics.
He reciprocated her gesture and interlaced his fingers with hers accepting her try at a silent apology. No more was really done or said on the matter, but sans could see from his peripheral that Frisk was satisfied by his response. A small smile had replaced the little frown on her face and Frisk settled back into the cushions comfortably.
Sans had to fight a grin from forming across his own skull as his mood began to brighten along with hers. He supposed he just wasn’t as good at holding grudges as he thought that he was.
When the sounds of Papyrus humming jauntily became clearer as he made his way out of the kitchen, Sans and Frisk swiftly released their hold on one another and settled back on either end of the sofa. Frisk returned to reading her book while sans pretended to doze.
“HERE WE ARE!” Papyrus announced placing a full tray of food tray on the coffee table. “ITS NOTHING SPECTACULAR, BUT I FIGURED I COULD REUSE SOME LEFTOVERS AND REWORK THEM A LITTLE.”
The result of Papyrus’ efforts was an impressive spread of finger foods displayed with care over the tabletop.
“Wow Papyrus, this looks really good!” Frisk exclaimed as she surveyed over the tasty looking morsels.
“THANK YOU FRISK. NORMALLY I DON’T APROVE OF EATING MEALS IN THE LIVING ROOM OR OTHER LAZY HABITS THAT SANS CANT SEEM TO BREAK, BUT IN LIGHT OF ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED TODAY I THINK THAT I WILL ALLOW IT.” Papyrus replied.
“Heh, well what can I say? I am now officially a person of into-rest after all.” Sans chimed in with a smirk.
Frisk stifled a giggle as Papyrus eyed his brother unimpressed.
“….I WILL LET THAT ONE SLIDE.” He then decided.
“Well that’s a relief because constable Slyde sure didn’t. Heh, not really living up to his name if you ask me.” Sans continued to chirp and Papyrus groaned.
“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, ENOUGH PUNS FOR ONE NIGHT! THOSE TWO WERE FREEBIES, BUT I WILL NOT TOLORATE ANYMORE!” He announced. “BESIDES I WISH TO ENJOY COUCH CUDDLES FOR ALL!” Papyrus then declared as he squished himself in between Frisk and Sans. All three erupted into giggles as they piled over one another on the sofa.
The evening wound down rather quickly after that as everyone was worn out from the day’s events. Sans had settled in his room as he moved his hand experimentally while he lazed over his mattress. His brother had done a good job at patching him up but it would still be a little while before he was as good as new. His bones still felt a little too stiff as he flexed them.
A gentle knock then sounded on his door. Sans hoisted himself up before he went to go and answer it already knowing who was waiting on the other side.
He knew that Frisk probably still had plenty more to say to him even after their slight interaction today and he knew that he also had to talk with her about how there little secret relationship wasn’t so secret anymore now that Grillby had caught on and now the possibility of others knowing was looming darkly overhead.
When he opened the door he wasn’t surprised to see Frisk waiting for him expectantly, though he was a little surprised by her wardrobe.
Normally at night she would come to see him in the oversized shirt that she had borrowed from his brother, but now she was wearing a well-fitting, very lacy, and dainty, white nightgown and Sans couldn’t seem to keep his pinpricks from wandering.
“Sans?” Frisk questioned when he didn’t acknowledge her presence and instead stood dumbstruck in the doorway.
“Oh, uh sorry, heya come on in.” Sans managed to mumble as he shook out of his stupor, feeling more than a little stupid for being taken off guard by a simple change in her clothing.
Frisk, oblivious to the reasons behind his somewhat odd behavior, took up his invitation and entered in to his room. He shut the door when she made it over to his bed.
There was a little moment of silence as Sans moved back over to speak with her.
“I’m sorry about today.” Frisk then spoke up.
“Eh, it’s no biggie.” Sans began brushing off her worries. “Paps is right about that calcium cream it really does work wonders, but it stings like no tomorrow.” He continued with a laugh, but Frisk shook her head.
“Not about that….well also about that, but for you getting injured in the first place. It was my fault that we went to the cemetery and it was my fault that you got taken away by the police.” She explained guiltily.
Sans brow bones furrowed as he could understand why she was blaming herself.
“Kid trust me, this wasn’t on you. Those bozos have been out for me since the beginning. They would have eventually found one reason or another to bust my chops. There’s no Sense in getting worked up.” He said. Frisk continued to stare shamefacedly at her lap, not at all convinced.
“I was worried.” She finally said and Sans sighed.
“I know. I’m sorry.” He replied taking a seat next to her.
“I’m really not good at this.” Frisk continued. “I’m not used to having other people in my life, and I’ve already made so many mistakes. I’ve put everyone in danger after Mittsy… and then I still didn’t learn.”
Sans turned and then swiftly flicked Frisk in the side of the cheek. She jumped, a little startled by his action.
“Hey now, we’ve already been over this kid no more feeling sorry for yourself. So You’ve made some mistakes in the past. I got news for ya, we all have, every single Pansy member. It’s how we all wound up together in this mismatched dysfunctional family of ours.” He said with a grin ruffling her hair playfully as he tried to lighten the mood.
Against her better judgment Frisk did end up letting a smile slip passed her lips as she fought Sans hand away. Though she knew she couldn’t simply brush away how she really felt as easily. She leaned against Sans her head resting on his shoulder.
Sans relaxed a little and leaned into her as well, taking a moment to simply enjoy her presence next to him. He didn’t want to spoil the mood, especially now that he had gotten Frisk to loosen up a tad but he knew that he had to bring it up.
“I uh, spoke to Grillby when I got back….” He began carefully. “ And well, he’s sort off put two and two together regarding us.” Frisk stiffened up by his side.
“He knows?” She repeated.
“Yeah” Sans replied.
“Is he going to report us?” She continued and Sans shook his head.
“No. He doesn’t exactly approve, but he isn’t going to spill any beans.” He answered. Frisk slumped next to him.
“This is harder than I thought it would be.” She then admitted, and Sans nodded along.
“Yeah.” He agreed.
“I think ….that Papyrus might be a little suspicious too.” Frisk then said and this time Sans was the one surprised.
“Since when?” He asked her and she shrugged.
”I don’t think that he knows that there is anything going on between you and me, but he has said that he has suspected you of having a secret date mate.” Frisk then clarified and Sans huffed.
“Awe jeez.” He murmured under his breath, his bones suddenly feeling very tired under the weight of all this new information.
“…Maybe we should just tell him?” Frisk then suggested and Sans snapped his gaze back toward her.
“We can’t do that.” He immediately stated.
“Do you think he will be mad at us?” Frisk asked.
“No he wouldn’t be mad but…. I don’t know, it’s a lot to ask of him, and then I’d be putting presser on him to keep a secret and he’s not the best at secrets, and he hates breaking the rules.” Sans began to ramble.
“I don’t think he’d mind breaking the rules for you Sans, and I’m sure he wouldn’t tell a soul?” Frisk then interjected delicately, but she could see that the idea was still stressing Sans out.
“Well, it was just a thought. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” She then said. “But to be honest, I don’t really know what we are supposed to do from here on out. Things have gotten complicated.”
Sans stayed quiet as he knew that she still had more to say.
“I just can’t help but think that it would have been better for everyone if I stayed on my own …if maybe I should go back.”
Sans caught her hand and squeezed it tightly cutting her off, instinctively not wanting her to finish that sentence.
“Don’t talk like that.” He said, his voice quiet but firm, and Frisk shied away feeling slightly ashamed by her true feelings.
“It’s strange.” Frisk continued. “Now that I’m calm I can see everything clearly. I can understand that my actions weren’t rational, but in the moment ….nothing else matters but what I feel. It’s almost like impulse but maybe stronger. It’s like I just can’t see logic, I can only see red.
For a moment Sans internally flinched at her words as he wondered if what she was describing to him was anything like the determination fueled episodes that Gaster had recorded in his journal. He brushed the thought away quickly not wanting to dwell on the subject any longer though it remained annoyingly present in the back of his mind regardless.
“What do you want to do then.” Sans asked cautiously.
Frisk thought for a moment.
“I don’t want to leave.” She answered truthfully, and Sans couldn’t help but feel relief from this as he knew that if she had said the opposite he wouldn’t be able to allow her to.
“But I can’t keep going like this and let you protect me all the time either.” She continued. "I know that it’s important but I need a job that isn’t just keeping a low profile. I need to help or I will feel completely useless.” Frisk explained.
Sans remained silent and turned away not wanting to agree to what Frisk was asking for.
“Sans please there has to be something that I can do, some way that I can help.” Frisk then urged not allowing him to dismiss her.
Sans stayed quiet but then that annoyingly persistent thought clawed its way forward again. It was something that Frisk could help him with. It was something that had been on the back burner for a while now. It was something that he had been trying to banish from his mind with no luck at doing so. A stone that he had divisively left unturned. But maybe it could provide them both with some form of fulfillment. He could look into the potential lead the connection between Frisk and Gaster, and Frisk could feel content that she was helping him without putting herself into harms way… or maybe he was only being selfish again.
Maybe he was just using Frisk’s feelings of short comings to justify his own curiosities. Maybe he was only looking for an excuse to medal in something that he knew he shouldn’t.
“Sans.” Frisk said again tightening her grip on his shoulder. His attention was on her again and he knew that she had seen that he was hiding something from her.
“There is something isn’t there.” She stated adamantly. Sans shrugged dismissively trying to brush her off.
“Kid, you’re getting all worked up over nothing –.”
“Sans don’t lie.” Frisk cut him off before he could even attempt to sweep her assumptions under the rug. He sighed to himself as he scratched at the back of his skull guiltily.
“Well… uh there might be something.” He began carefully. Frisk perked up in anticipation.
“Do you….perhaps remember anything about your childhood? I mean before you were on the streets with that friend of yours.” He asked. Frisk blinked in confusion before tilting her head.
“What does that have to do with anything?” She asked.
“Maybe nothing.” Sans replied keeping this discussion as vague as possible. “But also maybe something.”
Frisk huffed unimpressed with his answer.
“Just humor me kid.” Sans then pushed a little.
Frisk pursed her lips but decided to let his allusiveness slide in her own desperation. She then sat and thought for a moment.
“There really isn’t anything concrete.” She began “I just remember something about a fire and that’s all.”
Sans hummed.
“Ok, well what about your friend, Chara right? Did they ever tell you anything?” He then asked. Frisk bit her lip lightly in thought as she tried to recall any past conversations but nothing really came to mind.
“All that I remember is that he didn’t like monsters very much… He would always tell me to stay away form them.” She admitted a little sheepishly.
Sans only nodded. Fair enough. He supposed Chara wouldn’t really like monsters very much after his accounts with Gaster after all.
“I’m sorry.” Frisk then said, deflating a bit when it seemed that she hadn’t been of much help.
“Ah don’t sweat it.” Sans then said prepared to drop the whole conversation, but Frisk remained displeased as she sat beside him. Her eyebrows knitted together as she continued to try to search her memories.
“Everthing is just so fuzzy from back then like a blurry picture. I wish that there was some way to put it into focus." She said.
Sans tensed as he clamped his jaw recognizing his opportunity. He debated internally if he should really be so bold as to suggest what he had been thinking about, or to simply let it go and never bring up this topic again. He strummed his fingers over his knee before he turned toward Frisk again.
“Actually…” He then started, a little surprised at first that he was really going to go through with it after all. “There might be a way.”
“Really?” Frisk questioned, her tone turning hopeful.
“Uh…yeah.” Sans answered apprehensively “But it’s a bit well… invasive.”
Frisk eyebrows inflected a tad at his choice of wording.
“Invasive?” She repeated. Sans shuffled a little awkwardly in place.
“Your soul.” He began to explain. “It’s a record of everything that you are; your beliefs, personality …your memories. If you let me I could possibly read them.”
“You want to read my soul?” Frisk questioned and Sans nodded, a slightly grimy feeling settling over his bones as he did so.
“But before you decide you should know that this is a pretty private exchange. You will be giving me access to everything. Anything that you might want hidden there’s a chance that I could see it.” Sans then began to clarify, hoping that if he gave Frisk a clear warning it would maybe lessen how rotten he felt about this whole thing.
Frisk was silent for a moment as she contemplated her answer.
“Is this how you judge someone’s soul to see if it’s bad enough to take away?” She then asked.
Sans sat a little stunned by her question at first, but he knew that he couldn’t sugar coat it, he had to be honest with her.
“Yeah it’s similar.” He admitted. “Though those readings are usually a general overview of a person’s deeds and outlooks in life. If we find that they were generally a good person that was just caught up in a bad business then we don’t take it, but if we a find real love of malice or carnage then …well you get the idea. This might be a bit more … intimate so to speak.”
“Intimate how?” Frisk then questioned cautiously. Sans scratched at his chin feeling nervous all of a sudden.
“Um… well typically this whole tradition was something that us monsters did in the old days. When we found our life partner or soul mates, we would normally share our souls with one another as a sign of trust to create a stronger bond between the two, but that really doesn’t happen as often anymore. I suppose now folks just got more secrets that they would rather keep hidden even from their loved ones.
Frisk blushed as she began to comprehend Sans’ explanation.
“So…this is something that married people do?” She questioned and Sans found his cheekbones also burn up at her inquiry.
“Well….that’s one way to put it.” He said with a slight chuckle before he switched back to his more serious tone.“The point is kid, you’d be letting me see things that are really personal, So it’s your call.”
Frisks brows furrowed as she contemplated what sans had explained to her.
“And you can’t tell me what it is that you’re looking for?” She then asked him.
“No.” He admitted.
“Even though it may involve me?” Frisk pushed.
“I’d very much rather not.” Sans replied maintaining his abstinence.
Frisk huffed to herself as she continued to deliberate. It really was an unfair deal. Her street smarts could see plainly that the risk greatly outweighed the reward, and if she had remained the same person that she had been while she was on her own she would have turned Sans down in a heartbeat. But she wasn’t the same person as she was back then, whether that was for better or worse she wasn’t quite sure, all that she knew now was that she trusted Sans even with her soul.
“If you really think that it might help then I’ll do it.” She replied. Sans blinked in surprise as he had been more than half expecting her to turn him down on the spot.
“You sure?” He asked almost in disbelief. Frisk nodded.
“Yes.” She said. “But on one condition.” Sans waited patiently for her to elaborate.
“If I let you look into my soul then you can’t keep me in the dark anymore. If you find something and it involves me I want to know about it. No more lies. Is that a deal?” Frisk then said extending her hand to Sans.
Sans paused as he thought over her terms. He had agreed with Toriel that it probably was for the best that Frisk not know about her past traumas. He wasn’t sure if he could tell her about them even if he wanted to. But if Frisk really was going to let him see everything then how could he refuse her?
“Deal.” He agreed accepting her handshake, though he knew that he would most definitely be down playing her and Gasters relations if there were any even to begin with, and if there weren’t any than good. He wouldn’t have to tell her anything.