Flowers For Algernon
Radio silence. That’s what Cat got. After the emotional fight and kind gesture after. Kara had gone silent. Again. She wasn’t avoiding her anymore, at least. But something was off. She couldn’t get more than a few words out of the girl if her life depended on it. Something was wrong. She didn’t know what. But she suspected it had something to do with the earlier fight, and Cat was bound and determined to wriggle it out of her.
The work day had passed slowly. Cat had had very minimal meetings to attend, making it a relatively easy day for herself. She instead, had spent the majority of the day reflecting on the things that could possibly be troubling Kara. But it was then, that she realized she may not know the girl as well as she thought she did. All she could think of was that the fight made her feel weak, and that had somehow ruined her moral. But that didn’t sit quite right with Cat.
So she decided to scheme instead. She called Kara into her office fifteen minutes before it was time for the girl to leave for the day, insisting she help her re-edit the latest style picks page. Citing the reason being the illiteracy of her fashion department.
Kara quickly, and quietly obliged, and sat down on the couch in Cats office, picking up the layouts.
Cat sat behind her computer screen, scrolling endlessly though news sites as she waited for the rest of her employees to trickle out of the bullpen, leaving only the two of them left.
“Would you like a drink Kara?” Cat asked, narrowing her eyes, giving Kara a small smile that she could only describe as suspicious.
“No thank you.” Was all she responded, without even looking up.
“What’s wrong?” Cat asked bluntly, quickly striding to stand above Kara.
“Excuse me?” Kara asked, looking up, surprised.
“You heard me Kara. Somethings wrong. I thought we went through all of this nonsense last week. I thought we were getting somewhere but you are so keen on making it even harder it seems.” Cat said, shortly.
“What are you talking about?” Kara asked, confused.
“You’ve been moping about, barely saying a word. Every time you look at me you look ashamed. So spill it. Tell me what’s wrong right now.” Cat demanded.
Kara opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it again.
“What in the hell happened? Just two days ago you left me a book saying I saved your life. Which I suppose I did, you’re welcome by the way. But now you won’t even look at me. So tell me Kara, what in the hell happened between then and now?” Cat practically yelled, her eyes never breaking contact with Kara's.
“I…I don’t even know where to start…” Kara said, meekly, bunching up the sleeves of her cardigan in her hands.
“Well pick a place and start we can rearrange it later.” Cat said with a huff, sitting down on the edge of the couch Kara was sitting on as well.
Kara was quiet for a minute before saying, “Okay, give me one second.” before standing up from the couch and leaving the office.
Cat let out a soft sigh, becoming anxious as to where this was going. What did she do to make Kara so upset. She racked her brain for the events of the previous two days, but nothing stood out at all. Not a single thing. After the ‘I’m glad you’re okay’ text they hadn’t even seen each other the rest of the day. Then the next morning Kara had come in looking sullen, placed Cats latte on her desk, and left without saying a word. Cat didn’t think anything of it at the time, thinking maybe she was still exhausted from her life threatening fight, or possibly still embarrassed about nearly bleeding out in her arms on the balcony.
She was broken out of her thoughts by the sound of Kara’s footsteps approaching the office again. When she came back into the office, Cat could see she was carrying a book in her hands.
Cat’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of the book, her mind already spiraling, thinking about all the possible things that could be underlined in it.
Kara handed her the book before sitting down on the couch again, this time significantly closer to Cat than she had been before.
Cat looked down at the book in her hands, Flowers For Algernon. She ran her finger over the pink post-it note that was sticking out of the side, hesitating for a moment before opening up to the page it was stuck to.
As her eyes skimmed quickly to find the underlined passage, she felt a sense of profound sadness as she read the quote.
“Why am I always looking at life though a window?”
“Kara...” Cat breathed out softly.
“I’m sorry for avoiding you again the past two days, I’ve just…I’ve just been feeling very overwhelmed, and I’m not even sure by what...I just...I don’t know.” Kara said, tears starting to form in the corner of her eyes, as she ducked her head down to avoid the burn of Cats gaze.
“Why did this quote resonate with you Kara?” Cat said, her voice filled with more compassion than Kara's ever heard.
There was a long moment of silence between the two before Kara finally started, “Ever since I came to this planet, I’ve felt lost. For years the only thing I felt here...was lost. I felt like I was supposed to have some sort of purpose...using my powers or protecting Clark. But everyone around me was telling me not to. Everyone in my life until I came here, to Catco, had an opinion on what I should do. Until I started working here all I ever did was make everyones lives more difficult. Alex, Eliza, Jeremiah...even Clark’s. But when I became your assistant I finally felt like I wasn’t a burden in someones life, like I was finally, actually helping. But now, I’m Supergirl and I know I’m helping... but...after the fight...after I heard your voice in the comm and heard how worried, and scared you were, I felt like I was a burden again.” Kara said her voice wavering, warm tears running down her face.
Kara wiped at the tears quickly before starting again, “I guess I just didn’t feel like I really had a place anywhere, until I came here. Until I met you. So...that’s why I underlined that part, every time I feel like things are going well, something happens and the other shoe drops and I don’t feel like I can have a normal life. I don’t feel like I can have the life I want.” Kara finished, her voice breaking towards the end.
They both sat there in silence, tears streaming down Kara's face and she avoided Cat’s eyes.
“You’re not a burden to me Kara, and you never could be.” Cat said honestly, grabbing one of Kara’s hands and holding it in her own. “Remember the conversation we had when you first came out as Supergirl, and you were screwing everything up?”
Kara gave a quick, small smile, nodding her head.
“You can have it all, just not all at once. You still have so much to learn, so much to look forward to. Look at Clark, he has the best of both worlds per say, but he didn’t have it all right away. You will too, you will get the chance to have everything you want I’m sure off it.” Cat said, hoping her words were giving the girl at least some semblance of comfort.
“Bring me a pen.” Cat said curtly, surprising Kara slightly. “Bring me a pen.” Cat repeated, gesturing towards her desk.
“What..Why?” Kara asked, confused.
“Because I happen to also have a quote that I like from this book.” Cat said, starting to flip through the pages of the short story.
Kara got up and returned with a black pen, handing it to Cat.
Cat searched for another few moments, before finding the passage she was looking for. Delicately, she underlined the sentence. She was about to hand the book to Kara before she stopped and added one more thing, before handing her the book.
Kara looked down at the page and read slowly.
“I see now that the path I choose through the maze makes me what I am. I am not only a thing, but also a way of being-one of many ways-and knowing the paths I have followed and the ones left to take will help me understand what I am becoming.”
Her eyes traced over the quote again, ending on the sight of her name, with a smiley face that mimicked her own.
Before Cat could say anything else, Kara tossed the book down and engulfed her in a hug that, had it been anyone else, would’ve said was too hard.
“I’m sorry Cat.” Kara said softly, not bothering to let the smaller woman go.
“Anytime you’re feeling lost, or like a burden, come talk to me, please.” Cat said, too quiet for a human to hear.
“I promise.”