Beneath Their Masks: Guitar Strings

Five Nights at Freddy's
F/F
M/M
Other
G
Beneath Their Masks: Guitar Strings
Summary
Companion Piece, Bonnie and Blu's Side.--Bonnie Henderson was popular, talented, had wonderful friends and loving parents, and he was observant. He never much cared for "Springtrap" and his friends, but when he gets paired up with "Blu" Rodriguez in science, he immediately realizes that something isn't right with the younger rabbit- and by extension, the rabbit's friends. Determined to not be a bystander while his classmates' lives fall apart, he begins getting to know the unpopular, close-knit group and finds that they're actually pretty fun. Now if only he could convince them to get help before it's too late.Blu was bright and positive and happy. His classmates knew him as the annoyingly optimistic kid. His friends knew it to be him desperately clinging to a reason to live. His friends are the only people he cares about, so when he gets partnered with Bonnie Henderson he is not happy one bit. Unfortunately, his new lab partner is much more observant than he would like. Wanting to keep everything from falling apart, Blu does whatever he can think of to keep Bonnie at a distance, but doing this becomes that much harder when he realizes he actually enjoys the other's company.
Note
Hello and welcome to Beneath Their Masks: Guitar Strings! If you’re looking at this, well, I can honestly say I’m surprised but pleased. This is a Companion Fic to Behind Their Masks: The Golden Rule, Lyrical Harmony, Pirate’s Life, and Half-Baked!These fics are all the same “story” told from the perspective of different couples and, in case you failed to notice, these are all GoldenSpring and Original/Toy, but the pairings are most evident in their own fics. It’ll be a while until any pairings happen, though; first they all need to become friends.Warnings: RATED M FOR FUTURE THEMES. Homosexuality, bullying, cliques, transgender issues (DMAB-Agender Mangle), sexual themes, sexual abuse & rape, physical, emotional, mental abuse, parental neglect, severe depression and suicidal themes/attempted suicide, chronic nightmares and night terrors, this story will get very dark at one point.Pairings: Bonnie/Toy Bonnie (Blu), Freddy/Toy Freddy (Alfred), Foxy/Funtime Foxy (Mangle), Chica/Toy Chica (Chii), Goldie/SpringDisclaimer: I own none of the characters!
All Chapters Forward

Clarity of a Muddled Mind, Blu

He stared at himself in the mirror, gingerly poking at the fresh bruise on his left cheek. The rabbit wanted to cry; he had absolutely no way to cover that, as none of the makeup he owned was nearly dark enough, and the ugly shade of purple was clearly showing through his fur.

What made everything worse was the fact that it was Wednesday... meaning he had science again. And with science came his nosy, possibly-suspicious lab partner.

There was absolutely no way the other rabbit wouldn’t notice the bruise, what with how he was watching Blu the days before in every class they had together. Which, as it turned out, was most.

(Thankfully, in all of them, they were on opposite sides of the classroom. Thank you alphabetical seating charts!)

The only classes they didn’t have together, so far, have been their first and last periods- for Mondays and Tuesdays. Who knew what Friday would be like- Spring had managed to swing it so they had tutoring during the first and second periods of the day. Then again, knowing our luck, those bastards will be the fucking tutors.

If there’s a god, he must be laughing it up right about now. Dammit.

Everywhere he turned at school, at least one of the Fazcrew were there- and, more often than not, it was the one with the sharpest hearing. He wouldn’t have been surprised if, during the two class periods he didn’t have with them, they were just around the corner from his classroom. Blu was too nervous to even discuss issues with his friends at school, worried that the rabbit would be listening even from across a loud, crowded room.

And it was only the third day of school. Damn rabbit ears.

Wincing, he let his hand fall away from the bruise and leaned his forehead against the mirror. When his mother had burst into his bedroom last night, demanding to know where he’d been that afternoon, he had expected a claw to the arm or a yank on the ear, maybe even to be thrown into the wall again. He had not been expecting her to throw the heavy wooden bowl she was holding at him and he definitely had not been expecting her to follow it up by hitting him, hard, in the face.

Thankfully the bruise and slight bump from the bowl was hidden under the thick fur falling over his forehead, but his head hurt and he couldn’t even play his guitar as it only made it worse.

Looks like there’s not gonna be any practice this morning.

The only silver lining he could find in this situation was that he didn’t have any blood to clean up. Heaving a sigh, he flipped the mirror around so that he was no longer looking at himself. Sometimes he really hated the sight of himself; it just reminded him of everything he wasn’t.

Everything they hated him for.

Outside of his door he could hear his father pacing. He could tell it was his father; his boots made a strange clip sound against the wooden floor, as though some of the padding was missing and bare plastic was hitting the ground. Why does he wear boots inside anyway... He’d been out there all night, pacing back and forward, as if trying to decide what to do... or making sure Blu didn’t leave.

The anxiety his presence caused, mixed with the pain in his head, had kept the blue rabbit up all night for the third night in a row... not counting the nap he’d gotten over at Spring’s house the afternoon before. I need some proper sleep...

Taking a deep breath, Blu stood up straight and flipped the mirror around again, hoping against hope that he would see something he hadn’t before- some way he could hide it. However, whatever way he looked at it, the bruise stood out... and even he could see how tired he looked. Maybe I should crash somewhere else tonight, actually get some sleep...

He knew Spring wouldn’t protest him staying the night, but Blu hated feeling like he was, well, using his “more fortunate” friend, as others would put it. Yeah, really fucking fortunate indeed- depressed with a broken family, having to be a father-figure to his own brother, having to deal with all those different step-fathers... his own father... November...

Pushing the thoughts away, he roughly flipped the mirror over again and turned away, looking at his belongings. It was almost pathetic- well, no almost about it. Still need to do laundry. He could ponder on that later, he decided, taking the three steps over to his bed.

For now, he needed to get to school. Headache or not, Henderson or not, misery or not, school was so much more preferable to the place he had always called “home.”

After all, school was where his friends would be.

Grabbing his bag, his phone, and then his guitar case, he flicked the lights off and headed towards the window as he did every morning. As if hearing his feet against the wooden floorboards, the footsteps outside his door paused and the doorknob rattled. Blu silently snarled, but he knew it was locked and the rabbit outside was stuck there, the door acting as a barrier between the blue rabbit and his father.

“Don’t you go anywhere,” he heard the man growl out in Spanish, voice not very well muffled by the thin walls. Blu opened the window and dropped his bag and guitar case outside onto the fire escape, glaring darkly at the door. “Open this door right now, Bonito Rodriguez.

Fuck no, Blu snorted silently, throwing a middle finger up towards the door before climbing out of the window, carefully placing his feet against the metal grating so as not to make a sound.

It occurred to him, not for the first time, that he could just simply not return ever... but...

No. They’d find me eventually.

Swiftly, he shut the window, hitched his guitar case and bag back up onto his shoulder, and hurried down the fire escape. Oh he’d receive hell for doing this later, but he just needed to escape for now. He could deal with the consequences tomorrow. When everything seemed alright again.

He cleared his mind as he walked through the dim morning towards Chii’s house, just as he had done every day since highschool first began. He didn’t want to think about anything, so instead he focused his tired eyes on the little traffic there was at that hour.

Logically, he knew he shouldn’t go to school at all; his bones ached and his head was throbbing, his eyes burning from the lack of sleep. He would slip up- he couldn’t think very well and he definitely wouldn’t be able to pay attention... but he at least needed to turn his homework in.

He wouldn’t get any sleep in his bedroom anyway, he reasoned. The choice was either go to school and get no sleep or stay home, get no sleep, and probably get clawed or hit again...

Scratch that, there wasn’t any choice at all.


They didn’t ask about it but he knew they were concerned. He could see it in their eyes, the way they fidgeted and looked at him, the way they frowned and shared worried glances, the way that they were careful when touching him as they were unsure where else he might have been hurting.

They didn’t ask and Blu didn’t tell.

He skipped gym. They skipped with him, hiding out behind the gymnasium like a group of delinquents as they always did when they skipped classes. It was surprisingly easy to do, due to how far from the school the gymnasium was built. It was right next to the woods.

Blu dropped down in the grass, back pressed against the brick wall and staring out into the woods just twenty yards away. They were out of sight of the school, the windows, the parking lots, the sports fields, and the track. It was isolated and the perfect place to be alone.

Well, as alone as they ever were. Chii sat down on his left while Mangle settled down on his right, Alfred and Spring settling into the grass in front of him so they were in a sort of deformed circle.

Now, away from prying eyes, they could finally talk.

“What happened last night, Blu?” Spring asked gently, letting the concern in his voice speak for itself.

Sighing, Blu told them, “Mother barged into my bedroom, yelled some, threw a wooden bowl at my head and then hit me.” It was short, bitter, and to the point. “On the bright side, no blood last night. Just a horrible headache and I ache everywhere, but I’ll be fine when I get some sleep.”

His friends shared a frown. “When was the last time you slept?” Mangle dared to question, looking at him again.

Blu gave a small, dismissive shrug, glancing up. “Uh, yesterday at Spring’s house,” he answered, but he knew it wouldn’t fly; napping and sleeping weren’t quite the same.

“No, real sleep. Like... a full night’s sleep. Dreams and all.”

“Ah, um,” Blu hummed, frowning himself. Oh they are not gonna like this. “Saturday night I think?”

“You need to sleep,” Chii gasped, clearly horrified at his revelation. “That’s not good for you, you could pass out!”

“I’ll sleep tonight,” Blu assured her, “even if I have to go to the old fort.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say, he realized. Spring’s brow furrowed and he frowned, clearly worried, and the others stared at him with wide, surprised eyes. Spring started, “The old fort? We haven’t been there in nearly six years, Blu, it’s a deathtrap now...” Then he seemed to realize something and his eyes widened in horror. “Oh my god, please tell me you haven’t been running off there by yourself, Blu...”

He couldn’t deny it and his emerald eyes said as much as he glanced away guiltily. Quickly, seeing the way his friends were looking at him, he added, “It’s not often! J-just when I can’t stand staying home and, I just- I don’t want to bother you guys all of the time...”

That was still the wrong thing to say.

“Blu, you know you can always come to my house,” Spring told him, distraught. “Anything could have happened at that old treehouse, Blu- you could have fallen through the floor and broken your neck and we wouldn’t have even thought to look there for you...!”

Spring was freaking out, he realized. No no, please, I’m sorry, don’t freak out...!

“Spring,” Alfred spoke up warningly, reaching over to lightly touch the rabbit’s shoulder. “He’s fine.”

“But anything could have happened...”

“But it didn’t,” Alfred stated simply, shaking his head and turning to Blu before adding, “But it would... be... best to... not go there.” The words were forced and Blu wanted to cry; he made Spring freak out and Alfred was forcing himself to speak. His thoughtless admission caused his friends some sort of pain.

He never wanted to be a source of their pain.

“Next time please come to me instead,” Spring practically begged, worry clear on his face. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I don’t care if it’s one in the morning, just don’t go there again.”

You already do so much for all of us, I can’t ask for more, Blu thought miserably as he simply nodded an agreement. He didn’t promise, though.

He didn’t make promises that he didn’t intend to keep.

“How are all of you holding up?” he asked instead, glancing around at his friends. Mangle looked away, their hands going to their thighs, and Chii shifted slightly in her spot, crossing her shins one over the other. Alfred’s ears twitched and his eyes trailed towards the ground and Spring’s ears simply flopped.

Not good. Apparently last night was rough for everyone, not just Blu.

He had so been hoping at least one of them had had a decent night, and then they could have focused on that instead.

“I, uh... forgot to take my medicine this morning.” Before any of them could ask why he would forget something so important, Spring explained, “Plushie had the nightmare man dream again.” As the golden rabbit spoke, his hand instinctively began rubbing against his chest. Blu winced, ears flattening.

“The nightmare man” was the code for Plushie’s biological father. Spring just simply couldn’t bring himself to say the man’s real name. None of them could blame him, though, not after everything he had done to the golden brothers. He was gone before Plushie was three, but even the little rabbit kit had memories of him. Sometimes Blu had a feeling that that man was the reason Plushie suffered so much... and maybe even part of the reason Spring suffered so much.

He shoved the thoughts aside in favor of turning to the others.

“Charlie came into my room again,” Chii admitted softly, her hands balling up into fists in her lap. That explains why she’s wearing baggy sweats today. “Tried to... I... it doesn’t matter,” she chose to say, looking away from them. None of them pushed her to continue speaking and none of them tried to reach out to comfort her; they knew she would flinch away and ask them not to.

She was humiliated- not because she was admitting it to them but because it happened in the first place. It wasn’t her fault but she would always feel like it was, no matter how many years had already passed since it first began happening. That fact made him very upset... because he knew there was no way he could even begin to help her.

“My parents got mad when I tried to... refuse,” Mangle mumbled, staring at the ground and refusing to look up at them. “Grabbed the switch and... well, I won’t be wearing shorts for a while.”

The fox shifted in their spot and Blu glanced aside sadly, frowning. Mangle was in pain, too, and still they had been more concerned about him. Blu felt more than a little guilty about it.

His situation wasn’t good but he counted his lucky stars that he wasn’t in Mangle’s shoes. And, yet again, there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

Alfred was the only one who hadn’t said anything, but Blu knew something happened by the way the bear shifted and settled his gaze past Spring on the trees curving around the campus. They all waited patiently for him to be ready to speak up.

It was several moments of silence, them just listening to the wind in the trees, before he finally turned to them and answered. “Dad hit me with a bottle again. In the back and shoulder.” As if to prove it to them, he carefully rolled his red tee-shirt’s sleeve up, pulling it over his shoulder where a very red bandage was wrapped tightly. Blu wondered how he managed to do it by himself. “It... wasn’t close to empty.”

That received a cringe from them all. It was bad enough getting hit with and cut up by a beer bottle, but to have that happen while, simultaneously, alcohol spills all over the fresh, glass-filled wounds? It made Blu’s skin crawl... not from imagining it, but because he’d been there before.

Blood and beer mixing together made a very distinct colour. Blu imagined it was the colour of pain.

“Don’t think I got all the glass out,” Alfred confessed, pulling his sleeve back down. “Won’t stop bleeding.”

And hurting. That much was clear in the way his voice wavered, in the way his gaze strayed. Blu hung his head and drew his knees up to his forehead. He was sleep deprived and clearly bruised but at least he didn’t have cuts from a full bottle of beer or thin, painful switch marks on his thighs.

“Jesus Christ,” he sighed sullenly. “Why is it always this way...” None of them had an answer, of course. The only thing Blu could think of, though, was, Life is unfair.

“I’ll check for glass for you,” Spring offered softly to Alfred, clearly worried about their friend.

“Not right now,” the bear rejected. “Later.”

When we’re at Spring’s house. When there’s no chance of being seen.

Blu looked up, noticing Spring frowning softly at all of them. This can’t be good for him... Blu straightened up and breathed out through his nose. “Well,” he started, “I think all of us deserve a lazy afternoon.”

“We’re not skipping the rest of school,” Spring immediately warned. “We need to save our days for big emergencies.”

“I actually meant after school,” Blu informed him with a small grin. “Come on, we have art in the afternoon, like I’m gonna suggest skipping out on that.” But the thought of skipping music- well, his head was pounding with every word any of them said. Skipping music might be best for me right now.

Blu pulled his phone out to check the time. There were still about fifteen minutes before the bell would ring. “Then again I might just crash right after school...”

“If you make it to after school,” Mangle put in, sighing as they shifted again, trying desperately to get comfortable. “Honestly, maybe you should check out...”

“And go where?” Blu scoffed, leaning back against the gym’s bricks. “Besides, I can’t even check myself out, I’m not eighteen. Can’t go to the nurse, she’ll call my parents...” If not the police, anyway.

He couldn’t let that happen. I will not be put in the system at seventeen goddamned years old. I’ve lasted this long, I can last nine more months.

I will not be separated from my friends. They need me.

They all fell into a short silence, Blu staring up towards the sky. It was cloudy, as though it was going to storm later on, but he didn’t mind. The air was warm and the breeze was cool against his fur.

In the distance he heard thunder. Oh yeah, definitely a storm.

“I wonder what we’ll do in art today,” Chii mused, clearly looking for something to chase away the awkward silence. “I seriously hope it’s not holding a pencil again.”

“With how bad everyone was at it, it probably will be,” Mangle snorted. “I don’t think anyone got it.”

“It’s not that hard,” Blu started, shaking his head. “They just need to practice with it some. Besides, Marion Marshal was already sketching out scenes. I think he already knew this.”

“Who knows,” Chii sighed, stretching her arms up above her head. “Think we should start heading in? The bell will ring soon.”

“And a storm’s coming,” Spring added, glancing up at the darker clouds on the horizon. “Driving out to pick Plushie up will not be fun...”

With a soft sigh, Blu climbed up to his feet. “I imagine not,” he agreed quietly. “And the drive back even less.”

They all were silent for a few moments before, carefully, they all stood to their feet. “Come on,” Mangle sighed, turning to walk around the gym. “Time to head to hell, guys.”

Blu stuck his tongue out in mock disgust but followed, rubbing his hand tiredly across his face. He winced, though, as he brushed over the bruise on his cheek. “I thought we just escaped hell, Mangle.”

“The other hell.”


They were in the classroom before anyone else, having been waiting outside as the bell ending second period rang. They watched the class before them file out before stepping inside, hardly glancing up at Dr. Schmidt as he settled behind his desk, and Blu slid into his seat, laying his head down on his arms.

“Take your bag off at least, Blu,” Spring chuckled humourlessly. Blu gave a mocking little whine but did as he was told, sitting up long enough to slip the straps down and dropped it next to his desk. A quick glance around showed that Spring and Alfred had taken their own seats while Chii and Mangle both leaned against the wall, neither willing to sit in the Fazcrew’s seats.

There was nothing any of them could actually say, though. Blu turned around in his seat, studying his friends silently: Spring was leaning on his hand, staring down at his desk with tired, dull eyes; Alfred was sitting, tense and stone-faced, not moving a muscle so as not to aggravate his wound; Mangle was shifting from foot to foot seemingly nervously, their gaze on the windows across the room; and Chii stood against the wall, back straight and heels together with her hands folded, tightly, in front of her.

There’s no way we can act “natural” today, he thought miserably, turning back around and leaning on his left hand, purposefully blocking the bruise from sight. Applying pressure was incredibly uncomfortable, but at least it would avoid awkward questions as the other students filed in.

Speaking of the other students, Marion walked silently through the door, hardly glancing at Blu as he did. Neither said or did anything to acknowledge one another as the human made his way to his desk in the back. Two more humans followed not even half a minute later, their loud speaking and laughter sending a spike of pain through Blu’s head. Next to the door, above Blu’s desk, the clock’s ticking sounded like thunder in his ears.

Then he could hear their voices echoing down the hallway. He closed his eyes and let out a breath. They were being loud.

I’m gonna fuckin’ die if they keep talking like that.

Of course he knew that was an exaggeration, he wouldn’t literally die, but as the Fazcrew approached the classroom and their voices got louder, it certainly felt like his head was about to explode. Still, he did his best to keep his face neutral.

Behind him Spring shifted and Blu could hear Chii and Mangle walking away from the wall and towards their desks. Clearly they wanted to be seated before their science partners entered and made things awkward.

Blu didn’t open his eyes even as the voices reached the room. He didn’t open his eyes as the group of friends passed in front of his desk and he still didn’t open his eyes as the taller rabbit sat in the desk next to him. He did, however, shift slightly away; he was leaning on his left hand, meaning he was leaning way too close to Henderson for either of their comfort.

When the bell rang, it was agony.

“Alright, class! Homework!” Dr. Schmidt called immediately, not wasting any time on greetings. Blu let out a soft sigh and sat up, dropping his hand down on his desk as he turned to yank the zipper on his bag open. It took him only a moment to locate the packet sticking out of his binder, and without hesitating he pulled it out and dropped it on his desk.

There was no reason to be nervous about someone seeing his homework, after all.

“Pass it up and I’ll collect it at the front,” Dr. Schmidt commanded, and Blu twisted slightly in his seat to look at Spring and Alfred.

Immediately he noticed something was wrong. Alfred had a strange expression on his face- not a strange expression, an alarmed expression- as he stared at his packet. And Fazbear’s alarm was much more clear as he, too, looked at the packet, blue eyes wide in shock- or maybe it was horror.

Or maybe it was both.

Alfred muttered something to Spring as he passed the packet forwards and as Blu caught the red staining the top right corner of the packet, he understood.

Alfred was looking over it when his dad attacked him.

Blu was unable to catch whatever it was Alfred told Spring, but he had a feeling whatever he said was actually meant for Fazbear. An excuse. Something like Hawaiian Punch or ketchup. Something- anything- but blood.

When the golden rabbit turned to Blu, his expression twisted into concern as he slid Alfred’s packet beneath his own. Spring’s brighter green eyes met Blu’s emerald just a second before Blu took the pages from his hand and turned back around.

He looks so distraught... he so does not need this right now...

Blu slid his own packet beneath Alfred’s, so that Alfred’s packet was hidden from sight on both the top and bottom.

It was still noticeable, but only if someone was looking for it.

Unfortunately, Blu knew, at least one of the Fazcrew were looking for it. He’d already seen it. And maybe his brother had too- he had still been turned around, after all.

As Dr. Schmidt took the pages up, quirking an eyebrow at Blu as his eyes glanced over the bruise, Blu wondered what he would do or say. Would he ask Alfred about it or just make assumptions, he wondered. Other teachers had asked and other teachers had simply accepted the typical excuses.

I spilled my drink. I accidentally cut my hand while doing it. I dropped ketchup on it. It’s just sauce.

His gaze followed Dr. Schmidt down the front row and to his desk, ignoring the way Henderson turned to look at him. He pretended not to notice those red eyes zero in on the bruise, pretended not to notice as the rabbit’s brow scrunched up, the way his jaw clenched.

I wonder how easy it’d be to fool everyone into thinking I just fell. I mean, it’s not like it’s obvious I was hit, right?

“Now that we’ve got the homework out of the way, let’s talk about your first lab,” Dr. Schmidt announced, drawing everyone’s attention to the front. Blu tried his best to focus, but all he could really hear was the blood rushing past his ears. “You won’t be working on it until Friday, as today we’ll be doing the lecture first, but in it you will be observing how the...”

The voice was drowned out by the pain and the blood and the ticking of the clock. Nervously Blu began fidgeting, his hand grasping at his wrist instinctively as he stared at Dr. Schmidt, trying so hard to at least look like he understood. I’ll have to get Spring to give me the rundown later. Twitching his ears, Blu forced himself to listen to at least try and catch the gist of the experiment.

“...and why the steel wool...”

Oh. That experiment. Really? That’s freshman stuff...

“Yes, Mr. Salvage?”

Blu blinked and sat up a little straighter. Spring?

“May I step out for a moment?” Spring asked meekly and Blu looked behind him; something in Spring’s voice said that something was wrong. In the golden rabbit’s right hand he held his phone, just out of sight of the Fazcrew. It was lit up, East Preston Academy clearly displayed on the screen.

Plushie.

Blu felt his heart clench; Spring did not need this. Not right now, not when he hadn’t taken his medicine, not when all of them were miserable and hurting.

“Of course,” Dr. Schmidt allowed, his gentle voice confirming to Blu that he understood what was happening. The golden rabbit was up in a flash, hitting answer before he was even out of the room.

“Hello, this is Spr...” Blu managed to catch before the door closed, cutting Spring’s words off. Blu looked back at Alfred. The bear was frowning and fidgeting with his pen, ears slightly lowered.

“Mr. Rodriguez, face the front please,” Dr. Schmidt called and Blu obediently turned around. “Let’s go over lab safety now. No baggy clothes, no open-toed shoes, no long hair, gloves are to be worn, goggles...”

Blu stared blankly at Dr. Schmidt, losing track of what he was saying. Everyone knows lab safety, doc. We’re seniors. We’ve had labs before. Oh please just shut up, sir, please...

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before the door opened again. His green eyes snapped over to the golden rabbit as he approached their instructor, and he strained his ears in order to hear what Spring was saying to the human.

“... need to go... emergency...” was all the blue rabbit could pick up on through the rushing past his ears and the ticking of the clock. He hated the fact that Henderson probably heard more than he had.

“Very well,” Dr. Schmidt responded, a bit louder than Spring had. He picked a packet and a single sheet of paper off of his desk and handed them over to the golden rabbit. “I expect these to be done by Friday, Mr. Salvage.”

Spring nodded in understanding and made his way to his desk, clutching the papers in his hand. He and Blu’s eyes met, and in that moment Blu knew for absolute certain that it wasn’t good. At all.

“I’ll explain later,” Spring told him softly as he passed, kneeling down and sliding the papers into his bookbag. Dr. Schmidt continued speaking but Blu paid him no mind. “See you guys after school...”

“Good luck,” Alfred offered just as quietly so Dr. Schmidt wouldn’t hear them. Blu glanced over his shoulder at Spring as the golden rabbit nodded to their friend and headed towards the door, hand gripping his bookbag strap too tightly.

Blu watched him until the door closed, then he let out a soft sigh and leaned on his hand, closing his eyes. If Dr. Schmidt noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Maybe, Blu mused, maybe the doctor knew he couldn’t pay attention. Maybe the doctor realized something was up with him, too.

Maybe my entire life is just one big fuck-up.


 “He had a nightmare during the class nap.” That was Spring’s answer to what had happened earlier- not that any of them had expected any less. Blu stared at the passing scenery; the radio was on, trying to fight against the tense air, but all of them were silent, allowing Spring to explain what happened. “I knew he would... he woke up screaming and crying. Scared the other children half to death and it took his teacher ten minutes to calm him down enough to call me...”

“Why was he at school if you knew he would have a nightmare?” Chii asked softly, gently.

“He begged me to let him go... I think... he wanted to try and be normal,” Spring admitted, his voice fading. “I’m scared he might feel lonely and isolated... I just... He...”

The golden rabbit was struggling and Blu could tell despite not looking at him. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool glass, enjoying the way it felt against his warm fur and warmer skin. Even as he sat there, he felt his bones weighing him down, the ache burrowing deep into his soul.

Eesh, I’m gettin' poetic here...

“I don’t know what to do anymore...”

“It’ll be alright, Spring,” Chii was trying to assure the golden rabbit, keeping her voice gentle. “He’s gotta grow up sometime...”

“But he doesn’t have to grow up alone,” Spring argued softly, so soft that Blu barely heard him over the pounding in his head. “We already did that... I grew up so he wouldn’t have to do that.”

“Spring, he has to get to know other people now. The only way he won’t...”

The voice faded out as Blu’s consciousness finally slipped away from him, not even the sounds of the cars whistling past penetrating the exhausted rabbit’s sleep. There were no dreams- just a peaceful, calming darkness where his pains all disappeared, like nothing more than a flitter of a memory.

When he woke up later that night, the lights were out and he was lying curled up between Spring and Alfred. Listening to their steady breathing, he closed his eyes and nuzzled back into the “nest” of blankets and pillows piled up on Spring’s bedroom floor. There would be hell to pay when he returned home the next day, but he just wanted to sleep.

For the moment, he felt safe.

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