Chapter 5
Callie flipped the pillow around for what seemed like the hundredth time already. She’d spent the night twisting and turning in bed, not being able to fall asleep. Looking over at the clock on the bedside table she saw that it was barely 3:04 AM. Exactly 4 minutes had passed since she’d last checked. She tried everything she could think of, she even counted backwards from one hundred a couple times but it didn’t help. After giving up on trying to sleep, she sighed and got up out of bed.
When she reached Meredith’s door, she hesitated to knock. She wasn’t sure if Little Ellis or Little Bailey were in the room with her, and she didn’t want to risk waking any children up. Callie entered the room slowly and quietly. She tip-toed to Meredith, careful that she didn’t step anywhere that would make a sound.
“Mer…” the brunette whispered, tapping Meredith on the shoulder. Unfortunately, Meredith was a heavy sleeper. Callie debated on whether or not to just go back to bed and try falling asleep again. After carefully considering her options, she grabbed Meredith’s nose and pinched it shut.
“What… the heck?” Meredith said opening her eyes. “Callie, what are you doing?” she asked when she sat up.
Callie offered an apologetic smile, “I tried waking you up softly… but it didn’t work.”
Meredith nodded, “Yeah… that’s because… I’m a heavy sleeper.” Meredith looked at the clock, “It’s 3 in the morning.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep.” Callie apologized, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to the hospital. I’m gonna leave Sofia, she’s with Zola. You know, if that’s okay with you?”
Meredith scrunched her eyebrows, “What are you gonna do at the hospital at 3 in the morning?”
Callie shrugged her shoulders, “Check on some patients…” she answered.
Meredith gave a quick smirk, “The only patient you have is Arizona. And I’m sure she’s fine.”
“I know I’m not worried, the surgery went well and she’s doing better.” She whispered. “It’s not that it’s just… that I met a couple other patients… and they might not be my patients… but I still want to go check on them.” Callie lied.
Meredith let herself fall back, “If you insist, go ahead. Of course you can leave Sofia here. But… you know, now that you’re going… do you mind checking on someone for me? It’s not critical or anything, if you could just make sure they’re good?”
Callie nodded.
When she got to the hospital she went straight to Arizona’s room, she peeked through and noticed that the blonde was also struggling to fall asleep. She took a deep breath before she slid the door open.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked taking Arizona by surprise.
“Callie, it’s 3:30 in the morning. What are you doing here?” Arizona asked.
“I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened this afternoon… a lot of things were said…”
Arizona clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, “Let’s just forget it happened.” She suggested.
“But it did happen, Arizona. Those things… we can’t just forget it happened. At least, I sure as hell can’t.” Callie argued.
“I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.” The blonde admitted.
The brunette shook her head, “Arizona, we have to—“
“Please, Callie. I—not now. We both need to cool off.”
“I am cooled off.” Callie argued.
“No, you’re not. I can see it in your eyes.” Arizona responded. She had noticed the blaze in Callie’s eyes when she walked in. Guilt, anger, sadness… she could still tell so much about the brunette just by looking at her eyes.
Callie crossed her arms and shook her head, “If you don’t want to talk about it right now, fine. But, we are going to talk about it.”
Arizona sighed and nodded slowly, “Fine… just not now.”
It was quiet for a moment but they could both feel all the tension and it was driving Callie crazy. These feeling were driving her crazy. Everything escalated to quickly and it was all driving her crazy.
“I have to go check on a patient.” she said as an excuse to leave before she said anything to make things worse. Making things worse was the last thing she wanted.
“I thought—I didn’t know you had any other patients…”
“It’s Meredith’s patient.” She admitted before she walked out.
*The day before*
The surgery the day before had gone smoothly, almost perfect. There was no sign of Arizona’s arm not making a full recovery. Things were supposed to be getting better. Medically speaking, everything was as good as it could get. Arizona had told Bailey about her migraine and they ran test but nothing seemed to be wrong. She was good and well on her way to making a full recovery.
Callie couldn’t help but feel like everything was going so well. She was on her way to Arizona’s room and she was starting to feel like she could finally begin to relax.
Much to her surprise, when she got to Arizona’s room, it was clear Arizona didn’t have a mutual feeling.
“What’s wrong?” she asked quickly beginning to worry that something had gone wrong.
Arizona looked up at Callie, “Why did you come?”
“What?” Callie asked confused.
Arizona shook her head, “Why did you come from New York?” she asked again, “Dr. Hale would’ve been perfectly capable of fixing my arm.”
Callie thought about it, then all these feeling started hitting her hard. First, she felt disbelief, then unappreciated, and finally, she felt anger. “If you’re seriously think that that man would’ve been able to do what I had done to save your arm, you’re wrong.” She said beginning to shout.
“Oh okay, so then what? You felt sorry for me and decided to play hero? That’s it isn’t it? You felt sorry for leaving and helped me out of pity.” Arizona threw back.
“No, Arizona! What is your problem? The point is that I saved your arm, that’s what I had to do and I did it.” Callie said pointing her hand towards the blonde’s arm.
Arizona rolled her eyes, “Okay, so the arm is fixed. You can go back to New York now.”
“If that’s what you want I’ll be on a plane tonight! Is that what you want, Arizona?!” Callie shouted.
Arizona stayed quiet.
“Answer me!” Callie demanded.
“No!” Arizona immediately shouted back. “That’s—that’s is not what I want!” she said beginning to cry.
“Then what the hell is it that you want, Arizona?” Callie asked, tears beginning to form in her eyes. “I fixed your arm and now you think you can just send me away? No. That’s not how this works!”
“How does this work then?!” Arizona asked, “Are you just gonna leave when you feel like it? Or when your perfect Penny wants you back home?”
Callie’s head was spinning. She wasn’t sure where any of this was coming from.
“You left!” Arizona began again, “You left me and now that you fixed my arm, you’re just going to leave again!” she sobbed.
“Well which is it?!” Callie shouted, “First, you’re telling me to leave. Now, you’re saying that I left you! Which is it, Arizona? Do you want me here or not?”
“I can’t do it again!” Arizona cried, “I just can’t….” Arizona admitted.
“What can’t you do?” Callie asked. “I told you a thousand times, you’re not losing your arm.”
Arizona shook her head, “It’s not about the arm.”
“Well, what is it?”
Arizona wiped the tears from her cheek, “Nothing, forget it.” She answered.
Callie was struck by guilt. Seeing the blonde cry was making her feel sick to her stomach. And she didn’t know what she could to to help. “Arizona…”
Arizona took a deep breath pulling herself together, “You should’ve stayed in New York.”
Callie was speechless. Just a couple minutes ago, she thought things were going really well. And now, a whole different problem has presented itself.
“Just go, Callie.” She whimpered, “I don’t want to do this.”
“Arizona.”
“Please, Callie. I just want to be alone.” She admitted feeling humiliated. The blonde was planning on keeping all these feelings to herself and trying to play it cool, but as soon as she saw Callie she couldn’t help but rage out.
Callie nodded, a tear streaming down her cheek. “Okay.” She said before she walked out of the room and decided to go home early.
“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Richard Webber asked at the doorway. It was a new day, the doctors had all gotten to work and started their day already.
“Physically or emotionally?” Arizona snickered.
Richard sighed and walked in. “Well, which do you want to talk about?” he asked sitting at the edge of Arizona’s bed.
The blonde thought about it, “Well… I don’t know if you might’ve heard… but Callie and I got into an argument.”
“Arizona,” Richard lifted his eyebrows, “I’m almost positive that the entire hospital heard you two arguing.”
Arizona scratched her forehead softly, “Yeah, I guess we were pretty loud.”
Richard nodded, “Have you talked to her since?”
“No,” Arizona shook her head, “I mean, we talked but not about what happened. She came by last night and I told her we should talk about it another time.”
“Can I ask you something?” Webber asked, “Of course, you don’t have to answer unless you want to.”
Arizona nodded.
“Are you still in love with Dr. Torres?” he asked.
Arizona slowly shrugged her shoulders, “Do you ever really fall out of love when it’s the right person?”
“And you’re saying that Callie is your person?”
Arizona looked down, not answering the question.
Richard’s pager started going off, “I’ll come by again when I get a chance.” He said sitting up from the bed. “Oh, and one more thing.” He stopped.
“Okay?” Arizona waited.
Richard pointed towards Arizona’s cast. “I truly believe that Dr. Hale wouldn’t have been able to do what Torres did.” He paused, “She hardly slept for days. I know she told you the infection wasn’t that bad, and it wasn’t. But, if it wasn’t for Dr. Torres, that infection would’ve gotten worse. A lot worse.”
Arizona stayed quiet. The utter feeling of guilt sinking in.
It was nearly noon when Callie thought it was a good time to check on Arizona. After she’d left the blonde’s room so early in the morning, she checked on Meredith’s patient. And walked around for a while, and checked on other patients that were having a hard time sleeping. When the sun started rising, she debated on whether or not to go back to Meredith’s house to check on Sofia but, Meredith had assured her over the phone that Sofia was perfectly fine. So, she decided to stay at the hospital.
“Hey, where you headed?” Alex asked her, sneaking up behind her.
Callie turned, “Oh, I’m gonna go check on Arizona.”
Alex tilted his head, “Everything okay between you two?” He asked.
Callie nodded, “Um yeah... well, it will be. Soon, I hope.”
Alex raised his eyebrows, “Look, I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but, she’s different. She changed after you left. I know you might think it’s because of Sofia being so far away.” He motioned his arm towards Callie, “And, yeah, of course that’s a big part of it. But, she didn’t just lose Sofia… she lost you, too.”
Callie looked down, “I, um—“ she struggled to keep her voice steady, “Thank you, Alex. Thank you for looking out for her.”
Alex nodded, and put his hand on Callie’s shoulder. “You and Robbins are gonna get through this, you always do.”
Callie walked into the room slowly, “Hey.”
Arizona was sitting up on her bed going through her phone, “Hey.” she responded, putting her phone down.
Callie stood at the end of Arizona’s bed and neither of them said anything.
“I’m sorry, Callie.” Arizona said breaking the silence.
Callie didn’t hesitate to respond, “No, I’m sorry. I—“
Arizona stopped her, “You didn’t do anything wrong… just the opposite. You did everything right.”
A tear began to steam down Callie’s cheek, “Arizona, when I left I…” she sat down on Arizona’s bedside, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You did what you needed to do.” The blonde attempted to smile.
“But I—“
“Callie, stop. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just—the thought of you leaving right away really sucked. It made me say things… that I didn’t mean.”
“I know I haven’t been there for you, and I really am sorry about that.” Callie looked towards the cast on Arizona’s arm, “I didn’t come just to fix your arm. Arizona, I didn’t even know that it was that critical until after I got here. I was gonna be here when you woke up either way. And I’m not leaving anytime soon. I asked for a leave of absence at Langone.”