Two Hugs
Chapter Eleven
Unbeknownst to Emma, while she was heading to where she was sure Regina had gone to, a storm was coming. The clouds in the sky had started to thin and the temperature had started to drop. It began at the barn, where a woman with platinum blonde hair and a shimmering blue dress was walking out on an iced path. Every time she put one foot in front of the other, the harsh ice started to form thicker, tracing her footsteps. After falling upon a sign that read "Storybrooke", the woman read it out loud. She had never heard of such a place. As she strode past it, it iced over. Storybrooke had begun to freeze, its residents oblivious to the upcoming threat.
*
Emma made her way to Regina's Heart Vault that she had from when she was the Queen. She figured she was either in her Office, or there. She decided almost immediately after Regina had ran away that it would be the latter. She was either trying to find a way to get rid of Marian, erase what happened between her and Emma, or maybe even both. That's what Emma thought, anyway. And she knew Regina quite well, could always read her next move, a little like second nature.
Emma had reached the vaults. It was just before autumn, so the green trees were starting to bronze and a few leaves had started to fall on the muddy ground. She leant on a tree near the vault, breathing in the icy air, which she thought was surprising this early into fall. "How am I going to approach this?" questioned Emma, speaking to herself. I mean, she had always had feelings for Regina. Back in Storybrooke it was easy to deny them. To shrug off how the overly lengthened eye contact, the brief touches of a finger or a hand, and the same love they have for Henry, made her feel. Honestly, Emma kind of idolised Regina. She knew it was kinda fucked up. But Regina was once this cold, bitter and broken person, and because of the love she had for Henry, she changed everything. God, it teared Emma up, truthfully. However, she never expected herself to fall for Regina as the Evil Queen. The Evil inside Regina is the most - if only (Emma thought) - ugly part of Regina. But Emma didn't even think the evil part was ugly, honestly. She obviously had to forgive Regina like everybody else for the hurt she caused as the Queen, but couldn't help seeing the beauty in even the darkest parts of her. And most surprisingly, the Evil Queen, hell-bent on revenge, bloodthirsty and cold, had fell, briefly, for Emma. As Emma leant on the tree, arms folded, this is what really took her aback the most. And is probably the reason why Regina's reaction to it all was so indecipherable.
It was no use standing out here in the cold, Emma thought. She needed to speak to Regina, to console her. She had two things to accept, two things that could easily push her over the edge and revert her to the villain again. Emma could not have this.
Emma took a deep breath and walked up to the vault. Ivy had formed on the stone, intertwining branches made the vault look gothic and dark, especially with it being in the late evening. She made her way to one of the rooms, and walked up to the archway. She leant in and could see multiple candles in different areas of the room, creating a warm orange glow on the walls. She detected a shimmer on the archway, probably a spell rendering Regina invisible.
"Regina, I know you're in there. I just wanna talk. Look if it's too much right now, we don't have to speak about the book. Let me just be your friend and speak to you about Robin and Marian. It won't help to keep it in-"
Just as Emma said this Regina became visible. She was sat on a stool in the corner of the room with her head in her hands. She was in the midst of many scattered books. "Knew it," Emma thought, realising she was probably right about Regina's next move.
"Regina," Emma hummed, strolling over to her, trying to move the books with her feet as she walked to her. She leant down and went to touch her shoulder to comfort her, but before she could, Regina batted her away. "Don't," Regina spoke, not entirely threateningly, but definitely enough for Emma to recoil and realise she's feeling too sensitive for comfort. Regina does this, Emma has learnt. Whenever she is at her most vulnerable, she rarely takes the help provided to her.
Emma frowned as Regina wiped the tears off her face and looked up at her with revenge in her eyes. "Don't be like that," Emma spoke softly, "I just wanna help, why do you think I'm here?"
"You always want to help, Miss Swan, especially when its you who has caused the problem. It's always my happy ending, every time, that is ruined." Regina spat every syllable as she spoke, clearly angry.
"I'm sorry but what have I ruined?" Emma asked, genuinely clueless, in regards to Robinhood and Regina, anyway.
"If you and Captain Guyliner hadn't flirted so much on your way back to the portal, or whatever you two do when you are alone, you may have noticed that woman following you through it."
Emma scowled, "Regina, did you even read the book? Do you think after that I would be flirting with Killian? You didn't even speak to me about it and now you're acting jel - well, angry at me, for not preventing Marian slipping through. How could I have stopped that?"
Regina realised she was being unreasonable. she knew she was just deflecting her emotions, blaming Emma when none of this was her fault. She knew Emma was the one person, besides Henry, who genuinely believed and cared for her. Despite everything, the woman standing beside her, arms crossed and ocean eyes full of worry, deeply felt concern for her. She didn't want to take it out on her, she really didn't. But after reading what she read in the storybook, she couldn't act normal with Emma. She feels uncomfortable and like she wants to escape out of her own skin. It's not that she's never thought about Emma like that, Regina knows she has, knows she to has probably denied more feelings than Emma has. But she's not ready for what any of that means. At all. And Robinhood is supposed to be her true love, she thought. It's supposed to be him.
Regina sighed. "I'm sorry Emma, I'm sorry for not answering your questions. I know you didn't mean to bring her back. It's not your fault." she got up, walked over to Emma, paused for a second, and for the first time, initiated a hug between them.
Emma fell into Regina's arms. God, she felt at home there. But she was on edge. They had exchanged quick hugs before, patted each other's arms. But they had never had a hug in this context before. And Regina wasn't moving either, she didn't move a muscle, she just stayed there, slightly squeezing Emma. Emma put her nose into Regina's hair and could smell her sweet perfume. She moved her hand lightly on Regina's back, feeling the smooth fabric of the leather jacket. She wanted to put her hand in her hair, wanted to kiss her neck and make her feel all kinds of feelings. But they were friends here, Emma realised. They weren't lovers and they never were lovers. One thing can't change that. But what if this is what was meant to happen? What if a person can have many true loves? And what if only one of them is your soul mate? What if Regina Mills feels the same about her, what if what was brought out of the Evil Queen is what is hiding beneath the layers of Storybrooke Regina? Emma wanted that. More than most things, honestly.
Regina finally let go of Emma and looked away, turning her back to the wall.
"I need at least a night to process this." Regina exclaimed, turning around and trying to feign a smile for Emma. "Can we talk in the morning?"
Emma smiled. "Of course we can. Look, just don't do anything you're going to regret, okay?"
Regina laughed. "You underestimate me Miss Swan. Do you really think I would turn back to my villainous self over a man?"
Emma rolled her eyes and smirked. "He is supposed to be your true love Regina. I know you. I know how you might be feeling right now."
Emma could see through Regina's sarcastic façade like an X-Ray can see bone. Regina knew this. "Come on."
They strolled out of the vault together and parted ways.
*
It was morning and Storybrooke was still immensely cold. Nobody had really noticed. Robinhood had just left Regina's house after telling her he cannot break his vow to Marian, meanwhile Emma was with Henry, David and Mary Margaret. Emma sat them all down with the intention to tell them what had happened back in the Enchanted Forest, but after a warming reassurance from Snow that she didn't have to tell them until she was ready, she decided against it for the time being. Henry was visibly worried about Regina since the arrival of Marian in Storybrooke. He brought it up a lot over breakfast, Emma thought, as she was walking down the street, Henry at her side and parents in front of her with Neal in the pram.
They had all just crossed the road when Emma took out her phone in hope that Regina had texted her. She had been calling her all morning. Despite being civil when they parted ways last night, Emma suspected Regina was just pretending to be okay to make sure she didn't worry her. She was also trying not to overthink the warm hug. The smell of Regina and the warmth of her arms. She was so set on blocking this out. Henry, reacting to Emma's frown when she opened her phone, asked, "she hasn't answered any of your calls?" Emma frowned and sighed. "Nope. Looks like Regina does not wanna be disturbed." Henry suggested to call Regina, stating that she might just not want to talk to Emma. Emma thought there was probably some truth to this, laughed and said, "you may have a point, kid."
Walking ahead to catch up with Mary Margaret, she noticed, smiled and turned to Emma. Immediately she commented on Henry and his worry for Regina. "He's gone through a lot of stuff recently, especially with both his moms seeing new men..." she trailed off, looking at Emma through her peripheral vision probably hoping for her to spill the gossip on Hook.
Emma sighed. "Look, about me and Hook, well there is no me and Hook." Snow raised her eyebrow and snorted slightly. "No, really," Emma began, "whatever there was between us, it stopped. I know I haven't told you yet, but it has a lot to do with what happened in the Enchanted Forest."
Snow was nodding, urging her to continue. She then decided to fill the silence, "well, I never really liked him that much anyway if I'm honest, Emma." The motherly concerned tone in her voice was still unusual to Emma. Emma laughed and before she could respond, Snow half laughed and spoke under her breath, "speak of the devil."
Hook ran up to Emma, exclaiming, "Swan, can we talk?" Emma sighed, "Killian, do you mean talk, talk? Because we've done that, like a little bit anyway, what else is there to say?" Killian grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away, "Aye, we have Swan, but I feel like you're avoiding me despite you saying we could be mates...It's just a little confusing is all."
Emma removed herself from his grasp, scoffed and said, "you stink of rum Killian. It's not that I'm avoiding you, I'm just worried about Regina right now, with all that happened and with Robinhood and Marian..."
"Of course you are," Killian started to slur, "you know that's the one thing I don't understand, Swan. Her, of all people. The bloody evil queen, why her? Why not another bloke or anyone, why her?"
Emma stopped walking. "Is the problem that she's a woman Killian? Can your head not compute the idea that two women might actually wanna be together for themselves and not for a man's amusement?" Killian shook his head, "No, Swan. It's just Regina, the Evil Queen, I don't get it."
"Well like I said, I've had feelings for a while. And she can't help her past. we've all made mistakes Killian. I forgave you for yours, what's so hard to process, that I may have done that for Regina too?"
Before they could continue, Leroy ran at them, shouting that some "thing" had blasted him with magic. Emma saw a trail of ice, stating "the same thing that has created this, then, I guess." She decided right away she was going to follow the trail. She took her gun out and ran, following the trail, with Hook running after her.
After following the trail to where it had started to disappear, Hook and Emma noticed the air start to get colder and colder. Suddenly, a beast made completely of ice appeared in front of them. "Oh right, that's a new one," exclaimed Hook. Emma realised, as the beast growled, she was holding a gun right at it.
"We don't wanna pick a fight," exclaimed Emma. The creature stood there, arching towards Hook and Emma. It suddenly let out an icy roar so powerful it blew both Emma and Hook on the floor. Unfortunately for Emma, she ended up landing on Hook and immediately jumped up off him.
"Come on!" yelled Emma, running out through the gap of the fence her and Hook had been thrown into.
After sprinting past the Rabbit Hole, Emma and Hook ran into David. The screaming of people was almost deafening, and the monster almost seemed scared, Emma thought.
Emma was sure it was heading to the forest, so exclaimed, "I think it's headed to the forest!"
After a swift sprint with Hook and David trailing behind her, Emma reached a clearing where there were a few tents, a fire and Robin and Marian sat out. Robinhood immediately stood up, questioning, "what is it?" David answered with a confused expression, waving his arm as he said, "some kind of snow monster."
The deep bellow of the monster kept growing louder and louder, and it became apparent that it was close to the clearing.
"Pistol, sword, hook, my cunning wit, I don't think we have what it takes," Hook declared as the monster stomped in-front of them. Emma rolled her eyes, unsurprised by now at his arrogant comments.
David cut in, stating, "no but Emma does." Emma frowned, "I do?"
"Your magic love," answered Killian.
Emma's bottom lip curled and she nodded, "Umm, right." She placed both of her arms out in front of her, and opened her hands. A white light started to form and flew from her hands, bouncing into the snow monster. Happy with herself, she stepped forward and exclaimed, "take that frosty." But before there were any celebrations, the monster instead grew icy spikes and roared loudly, hitting Emma and the others out of the way with one swipe of its hand.
Marian was the only one left standing, so grabbed a bow and arrow and aimed for it. Before she could realise the arrow, the snow monster pushed her to the ground and hovered ominously over her.
Behind a tree, Regina appeared. She was wearing a silver dress and a silver blazer. She looked up at the monster, at Marian, back at the monster and took a few steps out. It would be easy to leave her die, said a voice in Regina's head. She knew she could just leave right now and get rid of her competition. Marian, petrified, pleaded, "please help me!"
Regina disappeared into a puff of purple smoke, but re-appeared behind the monster and destroyed it with her magic, just as it was going to step on Marian. It was the right thing to do, and even though every bone in her body wanted her to leave Marian to die, she didn't. She wasn't going down that path again.
Emma and everyone seemed to regain consciousness, and Marian announced, "she saved me."
Emma looked at Regina, at Marian, and back at Regina who reluctantly returned the eye contact and smiled. Emma was glowing with pride, obviously happy that everyone could see her doing the right thing.
"Hey, look we need to talk," Emma shouted as Regina started to walk off. Regina couldn't face her, and disappeared once again into a puff of smoke.
*
After Regina disappeared in the forest, Emma was anxious to talk to her, so made her way to her office. The door was shut but the lights were on.
"I know you're in there Regina, the light is on," Emma sighed, leaning on the door with her elbow.
Regina was sat against the door, eyes full of tears and head arched back.
"You can have happiness. I know it doesn't seem like it. But you've just gotta fight." Emma spoke into the door, hoping that Regina would open it and fall into her arms again.
She was answered with silence, so added, "Okay, well if you won't I will. Henry brought me to storybrooke to bring back the happy endings. My jobs not done until I do that for everyone. Including you."
Regina was so confused at how much Emma cared for her. Was still so unused to this, to having someone there for her. She cleared her eyes, stood up, and sighed before she opened the door to her office.
"Hi," waved Emma innocently, as Regina opened the door. "Come in," Regina ordered softly, closing the door behind Emma.
Emma noticed that Regina's lipstick had smudged into her scar again, noticed the tear marks on her face and took a move that could have gone many ways. She hugged her.
"Is this okay?" Emma spoke into Regina's neck, noticed that Regina hadn't relaxed into the hug. A few seconds later Regina had melted into Emma and said, "yes, Emma."
Neither of them knew why it suddenly felt okay for them to show their affection like this. They both felt a shift in their relationship, Emma since the Enchanted Forest and Regina since she had read the sections in the book. It was probably an acknowledgement of the feelings they'd always had for each other, Regina thought. But then corrected herself, "Emma doesn't even know if I feel the same, seen as I haven't even told her." She didn't plan on telling her anytime soon, though. She knew this was kind of unfair, but figured Emma would understand. And in-fact, Emma was stood thinking that it was likely Storybrooke Regina probably didn't feel the same, but felt so at home in the warmth of the hug that she didn't care. She didn't realise how much she wanted her arms around her. Not until she had a taste of it. Now that's all she craves, honestly.
Regina moved out of the hug, and spoke, "look I have something to tell you Emma."
*
Regina had just paused after telling Emma about Robinhood's visit in the morning. "I'm so sorry, Regina. A code of conduct? He's a thief?!" Regina scoffed at this and raised her eyebrow. "I know, but the reason I'm telling you this is that I visited Sidney, and I returned him to the mirror. I did it because I was going to go back in time and rewrite the past. I was going to remove Marian from the equation, not murder her but just remove her in a way in which I was blameless. I realised the only way I was going to do that is to find the author of the book. We've all read it. Villain's don't get happy endings, Emma. We're doomed."
Emma was genuinely surprised at Regina confiding in her, telling her what her revenge plan was. "...And you're not gonna do any of that now, then?" Regina sighed. "I don't know. I know I can't really do it, especially now I've told you. I just have to fight the urge to do the wrong thing, all the time, and I still don't get my happy ending."
Emma couldn't help but take some of this personally. She so desperately wanted to be Regina's happy ending, the fact Regina was giving up on the idea of a happy ending, just over Robin...It kinda pissed her off.
"So much for not turning bad over a man, huh," stated Emma. Regina looked up at Emma, realising that her happy ending could be sat right in front of her.
"I guess that's why I don't think I want to go through with it. And Henry, of course. And, well..." Regina trailed off, averting her eye contact away from Emma.
"Well what?" asked Emma, leaning in, trying to regain eye contact. "I kind of feel like I don't want to disappoint you, too, Emma. I just think...seen as how much you care, I should respect that."
Regina found this tremendously difficult. She had tried to put any romantic feelings about Emma to the back of her mind for years, and then when Robinhood came into her life, her apparent soul mate, it was much easier to forget how she had felt. But now Emma was sat there in front of her with those eyes that were not fully blue nor fully green, but a combination of the both, with glowing blonde hair and her normal trusty red leather jacket, and it was hard to put the romantic feelings to the back of her head. The Emma who had made her past self, the evilest part of herself, tame. She never would have thought anyone could have loved those darkest parts of her. Everyone in her life, only ever wants her there when she's being the hero, doing the right thing. But Emma knows those two parts of her, and still cares for her, just like Henry in a way. She doesn't know what she did to deserve either of them.
"Emma, I'm not sure that I'm ready to talk about what happened with you and me, or past me, in the Enchanted Forest," Regina began, "but I do want to ask, obviously none of those feelings came out of the blue, how did you even want to...make love...to that version of me?"
It was too much to bear to hear Regina Mills say 'make love' after a day of fighting a snow monster, for Emma. Like, too fucking much, even if she hadn't fought a snow monster. "Honestly, Regina, your guess is as good as mine... I think it was an in the moment kind of thing, and...if you read it, it wasn't exactly me who initiated it..." Emma trailed off, awkwardly.
"True," Regina replied, "I mean, it's not that I never knew you were attracted to me, Emma," Regina added, smirking teasingly, "it's that I never knew that beyond friendship you had deep feelings, the ones that can make you overlook the darkest parts of someone."
Emma shrugged, "well...now you know, I guess."
Regina nodded. "Now I know."
Emma got up, slightly upset because Regina's own feelings were so unclear. "Look I must get going, I promised to watch some movies with Henry tonight."
Regina nodded, "of course, Swan." Emma went to walk out when Regina shouted her, "Emma," she paused as Emma turned around, "look, thank you." Emma smiled, feeling a warmth from Regina. She had just walked out of her house when she got an idea, a way to maybe distract Regina from Robin.
She strode back in and found Regina on her desk, reading the sections between her and Emma again. It was honestly kind of adorable to find her reading them, for whatever reason, Emma thought.
Regina slammed them shut immediately, "did you leave anything?" she asked, trying to divert attention from what she'd just been doing.
"No, um," stammered Emma, "I was just wondering, if maybe you'd like to join me and Henry and watch a few films?"
Regina's eyes lit up, her smile full and wide. "I'd really like that." She grabbed her coat and followed Emma out of her house.