Clocks
Social Media, it was so new that Garrett didn’t know how to handle this.
His eyes hovered over the “In a Relationship” box. He wanted to click save but he was nervous.
It was an amazing night he’d spent with Anders and he was happy.
They’d seen each other twice more since then and they are happy together. Free with their emotions. They’d all but come out and said it.
They were in a relationship. Garrett had an almost boyfriend... maybe.
Anders first since Karl, Garrett’s first since, well, High School.
It was all very confusing, and after what happened with Fenris, overwhelming.
So, there Hawke sat, on his laptop, in the kitchen of his tiny apartment.
Obsessing over 3 words; “In a Relationship”.
After a few moments more he clicked “cancel” He’d decided he’d ask Anders next time they’d see each other.
He walked over to the couch and turned on the TV.
A loud commercial for a local car used dealership called Tintop’s Reliable Pre-Owned Motors roared to life.
The owner was a guy called Jevaris, he looked like a guy that was trying really hard to be trustworthy.
He was not succeeding.
Garrett turned off the TV and put his feet up on the couch stretching out, he looked out the glass sliding door to where he had stood with Anders.
He went over the last few days in his mind. Hawke closed his eyes and thought back to the taste of Anders’s lips. He tasted of honey, wine and a bit of spice.
Doing this caused the familiar flurry of tingles and butterflies in his chest.
He smiled.
A deep sigh rushed from his chest as he rolled to lay in his side and stared at his own reflection in the darkened TV screen.
“Anders..” Hawke said his voice a contented whisper.
DING
Hawke felt his phone buzz in his pocket and pulled it out to check.
2:13 pm
From:Unkown Number
Body:
Hey
“Weird,” Hawke thought to himself. He never got texts from unknown numbers.
He flipped his phone shut and headed into his room for a late afternoon nap.
**********************************************************************************************************
When Hawke awoke it was late and the sun had set.
He was sure he’d missed the chance to do anything fun.
He wrapped himself in his blanket and went and laid back on his couch.
DING
11:32 pm
From:Unkown Number
Body:
I’m going to be at the Docks tonight.
I want to see you.
--------
11:33 pm
From:Unkown Number
Body:
Garrett, Please come?
Garrett looked over the messages for a moment before responding.
11:42 pm
To:Unkown Number
Body:
Who is this?
-----
11:43 pm
From:Unkown Number
Body:
It’s Fenris
-------
11:44 pm
From:Unkown Number
Body:
This is my number, save it.
And tell me you come?
I get off at 2.
-------
11:47 pm
To: Fenris
Body:
Ok
“Damn,” Hawke thought to himself as he stared at the ceiling.
He looked at the clock, the flashing blue light indicating 11:56pm.
It was going to be a long 2 hours.
He got up and went to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror.
He hadn’t shaved in a few days and his neck was itchy.
Rubbing his hand over the unkempt neck beard he was developing he wondered if he should clean it up.
“Damn it, Garrett” he said to himself as he turned on the faucet and watched the water run into the drain.
Gripped the sink on either side he looked into his own eyes as the mirror fogged.
He picked up his razor and looked it over.
Lathering up he carefully drew long slow strokes from the base of his neck to the long growth.
Drawing slow even breaths as he shaved to meet the hairline.
He let the hot water wash over his hands and drew his wet fingers through his hair.
Turning off the water he grabbed a towel and dried off.
Placing it back on the rack he walked over to his bedroom and laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. His lyrium made his room glow, and he was conflicted.
Turning on his side he touched the stone as it sat on its base.
“Fenris......” He said the man’s name aloud.
“What do I do?” Garrett wondered in his mind.
He closed his eyes and pictured himself back in SIN and his hands on Fenris’ body.
Their kiss.
A lump began to grow in his throat.
“Okay, I’m going to go, I’m going to see him and I am going to tell him we’re done.”
He closed his eyes, and steeled his resolve.
Garrett walked back to the living room, it was half past one now and he was ready.
He grabbed his coat and his MP3 player and headed out the door.
*************************************************************************************************************
When he got to The Docks the gate was closed with a chain and lock, he entered from a small black door on the side of the Pizza place where you went in after hours.
Fenris was sitting on a red benched table between the main stage and the rest of the venue.
He was wearing a beanie and a leather jacket.
He was smoking, looking intently at his hands.
And holy shit was he beautiful.
He walked over to the table and sat across from Fenris who had looked up with only his eyes.
“Hey” he said, the words frosting over in the chilled night air as they left his lips.
Fenris turned his head to the side keeping his eyes on Garrett,
“Hey,”
Fenris bit his bottom lip
“Thanks for coming.”
Hawke smiled a half smile, placing his elbows on the table.
Fenris extinguished his cigarette crossing his hands over the warm ash tray.
“I had to see you, last time was... wrong.”
Garrett’s expression relaxed as he rested his hands on the table folding them into Fenris’ own.
He looked back up at Garrett who was searching him for a response.
“I didn’t think that he would...”
Garrett’s expression grew to show concern.
“What did you think Fenris?” He asked quietly
“Of that...” Fenris responded “I am not entirely sure.”
“I had hoped...” Fenris’s words trailed off and left them both sitting in the same silence.
“I don’t know...” his words were pained his face twisted in heartbreak “I was a fool.”
“I’m sorry, Garrett..”
Garrett stood and walked past Fenris without letting go of his hand.
Fenris stood and walked with Garrett, wordlessly into the street.
“Fenris, I don’t know what you have going on in your life,” His brow was grim as he formed the words.
“But, you need help, that man. He’ll..” Garrett paused
Fenris knew what was going to come next, it was what always came next.
“Garrett, I have lived my life under the rule of his, I can’t just go changing it.”
Hawke let go of Fenris’ hand and wrapped his hands around his waist.
Fenris flinched slightly as Garrett’s fingers brushed over his ribs.
“Fenris, does that man.... hurt you?”
Fenris’s eyes widened in a sudden fright.
“NO!” He said the skin on his nose wrinkled with anger.
“And even if he did it’s not any concern of yours!”
Garrett took a step back in fear, then back in closer.
“You’re wrong.” Garrett turned his gaze toward the ground.
“But, I came here to tell you I’m seeing someone.”
Fenris bit his bottom lip.
“Anders?”
“Yes.”
“Typical.’ Fenris sneered
Fenris walked over to the curb and lit a cigarette.
“He’s insane, and you will end up regretting you ever met him.”
Fenris growled under his breath
“The company you keep.” vitriol dripping from each word
He Turned back to Hawke, “I can’t do this.”
Garrett could feel his chest growing heavy and tight.
“That’s fine, Fenris you don’t have to.”
Fenris pulled up the collar on his jacket and turned sharply to face Hawke.
“I thought you were...” he began sharply.
“I thought you were different.”
Garrett looked away “I thought you were single.”
Fenris growled and punched the chain link fence next to them.
“Fine, when that lunatic ruins your life don’t say you were unwarned.”
He turned and walked back to The Docks cursing under his breath.
Hawke kept his eye on Fenris as the man made his way back into the black side door slamming it shut.
Loud indistinguishable rock music tore through the morning air after a moment.
Hawke put his earphones on and walked back to the bus stop.
Tears began to well up in the corners of his eyes as the tightness in his chest gave way to emptiness.
He looked at the clock
4:32 AM
It would be dawn by the time he got home and he needed a lot of time to think about what had just happened and what it all meant.
Of all that Hawke knew there was one thing, of which there was little doubt.
He was in love with Fenris and that’s why he hated him.