Chapter 20
Bellamy finds Murphy by a lake. He recognizes it from the image Becca had showed him of them as kids. Murphy doesn't seem to notice his presence or he's ignoring him because he never moves as Bellamy approaches the water.
"Do you remember this lake?" Murphy asks quietly without looking away from the water.
"We played here as kids and after I was moved to The Ark we would meet here sometimes. Something happened here, didn't it? Something important."
"It's where I took your memories."
"But something else happened before then, didn't it? What happened Murphy?" He asks feeling something life changing happened here but not being able to remember what.
"I...I killed Dax. He was threatening you. Said he'd seen us together still using shadow magic and he was gonna make sure that you and your sister no longer lived in luxury because you didn't deserve it. I'm not even sure what happened but I got so angry and when the darkness came I let it take over. The next thing I remember is you kneeling in front of me saying "we'll figure this out. There has to be a way to make it look like an accident. I'll make sure they never know it was you." That's when I knew you were better off without me and since I knew you'd never leave me willingly I took your memories and walked away."
"That's not the only reason, is it? I saw something or felt something that day that caused you to think I'd be better off without you, didn't I? What did I see, Murphy?"
"You said you felt this hatred and anger surrounding me and for some reason it wanted you to suffer. If I hadn't been able to recognize you and pull it back you would have been killed. Erasing all existence of me from your memories was the only way I knew to keep you safe. If you'd have stayed with me I'd of eventually killed you just like I did Mbege."
"But you didn't kill Mbege. He let the rogue dream walker kill him so that we'd meet again because he knew as long as he was around we'd never find each other again."
"How do you know? How can you be sure it wasn't some trick so you'd tell me and make me feel better?"
"Because I felt it. Ask Roan about it. I'm sure Mbege told him things he didn't tell you."
"I hated that, you know. The fact that you could always feel when something was wrong without me ever having to say a word. It made it really hard to hide my emotions from you and..."
"Frustrated you to no end, I remember. I also seem to remember an incident with Finn but the details are still a bit fuzzy. What was that about?"
"You pissed me off so I tried to piss you off but it didn't work and I wound up pissing myself off even more than I was before."
"If I remember correctly you punched Finn in the face and then stormed off. I had to do damage control with that one and as I recall it wasn't fun."
"Good, it shouldn't of been. Why could I never piss you off?"
"Trust me when I say you did. I was furious that day. It was the day I discovered I had fire magic. I was so mad I nearly burned my house down but I never let you see me angry because it wasn't what you needed. It was what you wanted but what you needed was someone to be there with you and for you no matter what you did. I was that person until you forced me away from you but I'm back now and I'm not leaving again."
"I wish I could believe that." Murphy says as he gets up to leave the water's edge.
Bellamy grabs his hand and without thinking interlocks their fingers causing Murphy to pause.
"Show me what I've missed. Please?"
Murphy stands still looking at Bellamy with what might be hope and as Bellamy lightly squeezes his hand, Murphy sighs and sits back down. He waves his hand over the water and as it ripples images begin to appear on its surface. As the events of the past 5 or so years play out on the water Bellamy notices that Murphy hasn't let go of his hand and smiles taking it as a good sign. When the water finally returns to normal Murphy is quiet but still has a hold of Bellamy's hand. Bellamy begins absentmindedly rubbing circles on Murphy's hand with his thumb. Murphy looks down at his hand but the slight smile on his face is a sad one.
"Show me your happiest memory or your favorite one?" Bellamy says sensing his despair.
Murphy stares off at the water and Bellamy wonders if he should show him one of his instead. He's about to suggest it when the water begins to ripple again as an image appears on it. Bellamy watches the scene play out and can't help but smile.
"It was my first kiss, you know. I was so nervous and unsure but you were so confident that it made it easier. I'm sure I was horrible." Murphy says looking a Bellamy with a shyness that he hadn't seen in a while.
"You were fine. It's always kind of awkward your first time but you definitely got better. Why that one? I'm sure there were others between us that were happier."
"Well there was our first time but as good as that was our first kiss made me feel loved and wanted when I hadn't been in a long time. Our first time reinforced it but the kiss was what first made me feel it. As corny as it sounds that kiss made me feel like we could take on the world. Like there was nothing we couldn't do together." He says looking away as a slight blush creeps on to his cheeks.
"It's not corny Murph and I know exactly what you mean. I kinda felt the same way which is why when you killed Dax I was willing to do whatever was necessary to keep you safe."
"I'm so scared I'm gonna hurt you or worse and if that happens I don't know what I'd do. I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt because of me."
"Murphy we've been away from each other for over 5 years something could've happened to me then and you'd have never known."
"Actually, I did know. We are still connected in a way and even though you didn't remember me I knew you were okay. I also may have visited your dreams a few times but I never changed anything, I just watched. I was curious as to what you dreamed about."
"You're not a dream walker so how...I don't get how you can walk in my dreams and not be a dream walker." Bellamy asks confused and hoped that he didn't visit certain dreams because that would be embarrassing.
"Mbege thought it had something to do with the fact that my mom was one and I got some latent abilities from her but it only works with people I'm connected to like you and him. I don't really know for sure though because I never bothered to look into it."
"I guess it makes sense. We need to wake up soon, don't we?" Bellamy says sensing his body beginning to wake up.
"Yeah, it's almost dawn."
"Don't ignore me anymore, okay?"
"Okay."
Bellamy gives Murphy's hand one last squeeze before they both fade away and wake up in their own beds. When he finally gets out of bed he finds Murphy in the kitchen making coffee and is about to say something when Roan comes into the kitchen looking tired but excited about something.
"You guys need to hear this. I've been up all night reading Mbege's journal and the book your father gave you and I've found some very interesting things that I think can help in going against The Key."
"Can I at least drink some coffee first before we get into the heavy stuff?" Murphy asks.
"Yeah sure. In fact give me a cup too otherwise I'm gonna crash before I get the chance to tell you what I found."
Murphy passes Roan a cup and the three of them sit down at the table in silence. Lincoln comes in to pour him a cup a few minutes later and joins them at the table. Once they finish their cups and they've filled Lincoln in on what's going on they all listen as Roan tells them what he's found.