Sue Sylvester
"Quinn Fabray. Or Should I say Lucy Quinn Fabray. Born April 30th 1996 as an Intersex girl. Came out as a lesbian in 2013 and got bullied so severely you started seeing a therapist therefore being deemed incapable of running a cheerleading squad and losing your position as head cheerleader at Walnut Hills High School in Wisconsin and eventually had to relocate to Lima, Ohio because you were no longer safe in Wisconsin."
"Who are you and how do you know all that?"
"I'm Sue Sylvester and I know all that because I've been keeping an eye on you. I saw your performance at the 2012 regionals for the cheerleading championships where you placed second. The Cheerios winning obviously."
"Okay but why am I here? In your office."
"Well Lucy,"
"Please don't call me Lucy" I interrupt the coach to put a stop to hearing that name.
"Very well Q. You are here because you remind me of a young Sue Sylvester. Your passion for cheering could be seen during those tacky, unrehearsed messes your coach called routines. I want you on the Cheerios."
"Why would I join another cheerleading squad? Last time I was on one it ended very badly."
"Being a cheerio grants you immunity. No one touches a cheerio. You could come out here and no one could say anything unless they wanted to deal with the wrath of an angry Sue Sylvester."
"Fine I'll join the cheerios."
"Good. Here's your uniform. Go an put it on, I have something to deal with."
10 minutes later, I'm dressed in my Cheerio outfit and walking through the hallways of McKinley with a new found confidence. As I turn the corridor, I see the 2 girls who threw a slushy at me earlier.
"Hey newbie, come here." The latina says.
"Whats up?" I ask, hoping I sound confident and not afraid of the girls before me.
"We just wanted to apologise for what happened this morning. We didn't want to do it but Coach Sue told us last year that if we see someone in glee, JewFro or a new kid we had to slushy them. We actually hate doing it but it's the price we pay if we want to be a cheerio."
"JewFro? Who's that?"
"He's the creepy guy with the camera and microphone."
"Oh him. I can totally understand why you would slushy him but what's so bad about glee? I used to be in the glee club at my old school."
"Glee is like the bubonic plague around here. If you join, you immediately go to the bottom of the social ladder."
"Okay then. I should be getting to Math."
"Didn't coach tell you about that? Cheerios don't do Math. They have cheerios practice."
"Oh okay. Lead the way."