Keep You Warm

Lexa. Friday, November 4, 2016.

I wake to the sound of several dogs barking. I look at my watch: 7:20. Oh shit. I'm late for school. Why the hell didn't my watch go off? I groan and roll over onto my back. I am definitely not gonna make it to 1st period. Damn. For a moment I consider just ditching, and making it a 4 day weekend. That is until I remember yesterday.

The thought of Clarke seeps into my mind. I smile. It did happen right? I didn't imagine it. She kissed me. I start laughing. I can't help it. I try to stop, but I can't. My laughter gets louder. I just can't believe that Clarke Griffin, most adored and beautiful girl in school, kissed me. I've laughed so much that my stomach is starting to hurt. I start slowly calming down. I start thinking about the kiss. Her lips were so amazing. There was no tongue or anything. but it was awesome. Her hair was so soft too, and when her hands were on my skin, it felt like I was going to burst into flames. I had always seen her in the hallways, how could you not notice her? She is absolutely stunning. Every once in awhile I would catch myself staring. Just admiring her. Maybe I had a crush this whole time.

Yeah, I'm definitely going to school.

As I come to this decision, a little girl, maybe about 4 or 5 years old, crawls into the tube I'm in. She looks up at me with innocent eyes. Confusion covers her face. I smile and give a little wave.

She smiles back at me. “Who are you? Why are you in here? Aren't you too big?”

I shrug. “Nah. Well, maybe. I don't know kid. But I slept in here, because of the rain. Oh, and I'm Lexa.” She looks displeased with my answer.

”Why? When it rains, I sleep with my mommy and daddy. I don't like the noise the rain makes.”

I smile. ”I don't have a mommy or daddy to save me from the scary rain noises. So when it rains I sleep in here because it makes sure I don't get wet and cold.”

”I thought everyone had a mommy and daddy? Why don't you?”

This kid is a little too curious. “That’s complicated, kid. I guess I should get to school. Don't tell anyone that you saw me here, OK kid? It'll be our little secret.” She nods. I exit. I see her mom with a little dog, a little ways down the sidewalk. The kid looks like her.

I walk to the same convenient store that I did yesterday. The man is awake so I don't take anything, not that I was planning on it this time anyway. I go straight to the bathroom and quickly get ready. As I'm leaving the store, I smile at the old man. He doesn't smile back.

I should make it to school in time for second period. There should still be a sub though, so I can take my time and not worry.

I make it to school with ten minutes left in first period. I decide to head to my locker before second period starts.

I walk slowly towards my locker. As I'm several feet from my locker I feel a hand on my arm. Before I can react I get yanked into some closet, and a yelp escapes from my throat. I opt against yelling for help, I don't want the extra attention. Plus I know that if I need to, I can handle this guy on my own.

we both stumble into the closet and almost fall. The other person has both their hands on my arms because of how we fell. I stay still to see what the other person is going to do. It's almost completely dark, except for the light coming from under the door from the hallway. I breathe deeply. The other person takes their hands off my arm and starts moving their arms against the wall. What the fuck is going on? Maybe someone was trying to mess with someone, and accidentally grabbed me instead. From what I can tell the person has found what they're looking for because I stop hearing their hand against the wall. They turn on the light.

It's Clarke.

I breathe a huge sigh of relief. Then I smack her arm.

"Ow." She says with a smile. "What was that for?"

I smack her again. "You scared the shit out of me!" After a moment I start laughing, she joins me quickly.

In the midst of our laughter Clarke hears someone walking down the hall and covers my mouth with her hand. I hear them too, and from the way their shoes sound, it's probably a teacher. As they get closer, I reach behind Clarke and switch off the light. Another 30 seconds and they're gone. Clarke moves her hand away from my mouth and replaces it with her own lips. The kiss is soft and sweet, and ends too quickly.

"Hi." She says after she pulls away.

Holy shit. It wasn't a fluke. In the back of my head, I thought maybe last night was a fluke. Maybe she didn't actually like me. But no. For the second time in like, 12 hours, Clarke Griffin has kissed me twice.

I smile. "Hey. Why aren't you in class?" I say realizing that she should be in 1st period right now.

"I should ask you the same thing." She says with a grin. "Actually I was just bored. I was in English with Mr. Pike and he was annoying me, so I told him I had to go to the bathroom for a 'girl problem' and that I might not be back by the end of class. And you know how guys, especially adult guys, are when you say 'girl problem', so he let me go. I was actually going upstairs to meet you when you came out of class, but I saw you in the hall and decided to scare you. What about you?"

No use in lying completely."My alarm didn't go off this morning, and my parents leave for work before I get up."

She nods. "So, today after school, where do you wanna go?" I kind of stare at her. I'm unsure of what we are. She looks into my eyes and her smile falters a little. “I know we're both confused about us. So we'll talk, we'll figure out what we are.”

I give a small smile and nod. It's like she read my mind. “We can go wherever you want.” I reply. I just hope it's not another food place.

She grins. “Great! I'll figure that out later.” She gives a hint of a smirk, and her tone turns deviously playful. “But, you know, we have about 7 minutes until class. What do you suggest we do in that time?“

I bite my bottom lip, and my smile turns into a smirk as well. “Oh I have a few ideas.” I grab her shoulders and gently push her back into the wall. I keep one hand on her shoulder, and move my other to cup her cheek, with my fingertips in her hair, my face an inch away.

Clarke licked her lips slowly and swallowed hard. "Oh really?" She asks seductively.

Clarke starts leaning in, but before our lips meet she stops. "Wait!" I pull back. Oh no. Did I do something wrong? Maybe she had second thoughts? I start to pull my hands away, but she grabs them, and holds them in her own. OK, now I'm confused.

I try to ask what's wrong, but she starts explaining herself. "I don't want this going very far yet, especially not in some random school closet. I like you, so I don't want us to do something we'll regret." I see uncertainty in her eyes, like she's frightened of what my reaction'll be.

I rub my thumb over her knuckles to try to reassure her. "I wasn't really planning on us doing it in some closet at school." I chuckle a little. "I mean sure, maybe later in the future, but definitely not for the first time." She nods with a small smile. She then lets go of my hands and puts them on my lower back, pulling me towards her.

"Glad we're on the same page." She says before kissing me deeply. It catches me off guard at first, but I recover quickly and reciprocate.

I have not kissed someone like this in a really, really long time. I forgot how amazing it feels. It's even more amazing with Clarke; it feels so different. I feel content, something I haven't truly felt in a very long time. I'm just scared for what's going to happen to cause this feeling to go away.

I go through 2nd period, not paying attention to anything. The only thing on my mind, is Clarke. The way her warm skin felt against my cold skin. The way my hands warmed at her touch. Finally the bell rings, and it's time for history.

When I walk into class the desks are normal, and people are in their assigned seats. Kind of a bummer, but I'll get to see her later and this morning totally makes up for it. Clarke is sitting at her desk, looking at her phone with a small smile on her face. I sit down at my desk and start counting in my head while I wait for class to start.

After class Clarke walks over to me while I'm putting my notebook back in my backpack. "Hey, so I was thinking: After school we go to my house and order pizza, and this weekend we go on a date. A real date, where I'm all chivalrous and pay."

I'm not so sure about this. Not the date itself, I really wanna have the date. It's just, the whole pretending that I'm normal. Pretending that I don't live out of my backpack, and that I have parents. It's exhausting. I can't tell her anything, at least not now. Maybe if things get serious. Maybe. But right now, I don't know what to do about this date. She's probably gonna wanna pick me up and drop me off, but I can't give her an address. I guess I'll wing it, as usual.

Clarke is looking at me, waiting for an answer. I grin. "I would love to go on a date with you." She smiles widely. I love it when she smiles. "I can't do this weekend though. I have a family thing, but how 'bout instead, we do it tonight? I could meet you at your house? Then, you can take me on this oh-so-chivalrous date."

I only have to wait for her answer for a short moment, because she says "OK" fairly quickly. "Meet me at my house at 7?" She says still smiling. Every time I see her, she's almost always smiling.

I nod. "7." I look at my watch, it's 10:18. "We should probably get to class." I say reluctantly, not wanting to go.

"OK, well, I'll see you later." She puts her hand on my arm. Is she really going to kiss me in the middle of the school hallway? She hesitates, but then makes up her mind and gently kisses my cheek. She whispers in my ear, "Bye."

I'm so glad I came to school today.

I try and concentrate on my classes the rest of the day. I have a feeling that I may be distracted later on in the year.

During gym, Clarke and I only share glances. Every once in a while i'll catch her staring at me, and vice versa. Each time she blushes. It's cute. I probably blushed a little too, but I'm in denial about that.

Towards the end of class, coach Lincoln gives us free time. I usually spend it counting in my head. This time, as I was leaning against the wall, about to start, I see Clarke walking towards me. Usually she's with her friends. I start counting in my head anyway. She's making me nervous, and this almost always calms me down.

She walks up to me, almost hesitantly, but not like she's ashamed to be seen with me. No. It's something else. I'll ask her tonight, maybe. Her friends look at Clarke, confused, but then start talking to each other, letting Clarke be.

She walks up to me, smiling. "Hey, how's it going?"

I give her a small smile in return. "Hi, I'm fine. We still on for tonight?" I ask.

She laughs a little. "Of course. Oh, and I have a place in mind. How do you feel about either, Saltgrass, or Olive Garden?"

Oh my god, those are my two favorite places to eat. I know people in the kitchen's for both, and they'll give me leftovers. However, I do know that both of these places run on the more expensive side. "I don't know Clarke. They're both kinda pricey, you know?"

She gives me a look. "I'm paying, and I don't care if it's a little more expensive. I think we both deserve some steak, or bread sticks."

I give in. She's very persuasive, what can I say? "OK then. Um, I'm feeling more Olive Garden." She nods once triumphantly and is about to say something else, but Raven calls her over.

She sighs. "I should probably see what she wants, or she'll just keep yelling for me." We both chuckle. "So, meet me at my house at 7, and we'll go to Olive Garden."

I nod. "It's a date. Can't wait."

Raven yells for Clarke again. "Griffin! Get your ass over here or I swear to god, the thing I'm planning will be blown up in your house!"

I laugh. She seems very entertaining, very funny. I feel like me and her would get along. If, ya know, this whole thing with me and Clarke works out well. Clarke laughs at what Raven yelled, but also looks genuinely concerned at the threat. "I should probably go. My mom would kill me if she blew up our house. But, I'll see you tonight. Bye." She leans in, but ends up moving to the side and kisses my cheek. I love it when she does that, it's very comforting and I don't know why. She walks back over to the rest of The Trinity. As she's talking to Raven and Octavia, I can feel her glancing at me. I look up, and she looks away, focusing her attention on what the other girls are saying.

Coach tells us to get changed and go home. I look at my watch, it's 2:28. Only 2 minutes left in school. Since I have the date, I definitely need to stay after and use the gym showers. All the teachers like me and trust me, so they'll let me stay here alone, after gym to shower. It's great.

Everyone gets dressed and leaves. I see Clarke leaving, while still talking to Raven, who seems to be enthusiastically talking about something "going boom", and Octavia listening and rolling her eyes. I stay in my gym clothes, and wait on the bench in front of my locker, until everyone is gone. I go into the gym and walk to the other side where coach Lincoln's office is. I knock on the open door.

"Hey, coach, I was just letting you know that I was gonna stay after for a while and shower." He turns and looks up at me from his office chair.

He nods. "Yeah, sure. Just let me know when you're done so I can lock up." I nod.

I go back into the locker room. I head into the showering area, grab a towel, my showering stuff from my backpack, head to my favorite shower with the good water pressure, and crank up the hot water. I stand under the steaming water for what feels like eternity. I spend probably 30-40 minutes showering. It doesn't take me very long to actually clean myself, but today I shaved, and I just really love standing under the hot water. When I'm done, I dry off, get dressed, and tell coach that I'm done and leaving.

Now the real question: what do I do until the date. I look at my watch, 3:13. I have 4 and a half hours until my date with Clarke. I'm all clean, so I would prefer to stay inside. Oh I'll go to the library. They like me there too because I'll help them after hours. The library is only a 10-15 minute walk from the school.

I walk into the library, and the smell of books hits me. It's probably one of my favorite smells. I walk to the checkout desk to talk to the librarian, Niylah. She's been running the library for almost a year, and she's been working, or volunteering, here for as long as I can remember. When I first came here, she was in high school, and volunteered at the library. She's my oldest friend. Even though she's almost 10 years older than me.

I walk up while her back is turned to me and say, "Hey babe, did'ya miss me?" and grin.

She turns around and starts laughing. "Hey Lexa! Haven't seen you in here in a while, where the hell've you been?" She shoves my shoulder playfully.

My grin stays in place. "So you did miss me." She shakes her head with a smile. Yeah, she missed me.

We walk back to her office. She doesn't know exactly about my situation, only what she's assumed after our many years of friendship. If she were to ask, I might even tell her everything, but I definitely wouldn't just blurt it out. We sit down on the couch in her office. "So, where have you been? It's been weeks since I last saw you."

I run my hand through my still damp hair. "I know, I'm sorry. I've been meaning to come by, but I've been kinda busy, you know with school and stuff." She sighs. I give her a small smile and say. "But I promise to come by more often. And you know me, I'm a woman of my word."

She laughs a little. "Yeah, you are." Someone from outside her office calls her name. "I'll be back." She says before getting up, and going out to deal with whatever's going on.

I lay down on the couch and start thinking about tonight. I feel like I could lie my way through any questions she might have that I can't answer. One thing I'll have to deal with though: my backpack. If I could, I would leave it in my little hiding spot in the woods, but I don't have time to do that, plus I'd get all dirty and I don't wanna shower again. Maybe I could leave it here. Niylah will probably question why, but she's always believed, even my shittiest of lies. Even if she questions my sanity, she'll most likely still do it.

Several minutes later Niylah reemerges inside her office. Might as well ask now before I get distracted. "Hey, Ni? Can I ask you a small favor?" She nods and flops on the couch. "OK, so, I have a thing tonight, and it would take to long for me to go all the way home get cleaned up, and then go. So I was wondering if I could leave my backpack here, and then pick it up tonight, or tomorrow morning if it gets too late."

She stares at me for a bit. It's like she's trying to figure out something I said. Was that too confusing? Did I word it weirdly? I do that sometimes. In my head it'll make sense but when I say it, the other person gets confused. It's not their fault. My brain just works kinda weird I guess.

Finally she replies. "So this thing, is it, is it a date?" She's grinning. She already knows the answer. She gasps. "I knew it! Who knew? Lexa Woods going on a date!" She grabs my shoulder and shakes it triumphantly. "So, who is she? I want all the details. I would like, in no particular order but I know you'll do it in this order: name, age, grade, where you met, and how long this has been going on." I like how she knows that I'll answer in the order she asked the questions.

I take a breath. "OK. Clarke Griffin, 16, same as me - junior, met at school officially because of a project for history, and it's only been going on for like a day and a half." She takes a moment to process all this.

"Do you have feelings for her?" She asks, after a few seconds.

"Ni, I've only known this girl for like two days, how could I'ave possibly caught feelings already?" She looks unconvinced. "We've only kissed a few times. I barely know this girl, let alone have the feelings for this girl." She keeps giving me this look, and I keep talking. "OK, so, maybe I like it when touches my arm, and maybe it makes my skin feel hot. Maybe when she held my hands it actually warmed them up for the first time in like a million years." Shit, she's breaking me. And she's not even doing anything. I just keep talking. "Also, so what if maybe, I like the way she smell when she's so very close to me." God, why won't I shut up already? How is she doing this? "It doesn't mean anything just because when she kisses me on the cheek I feel all warm and like I could fly away. It doesn't mean anything, and I sure as hell haven't caught feelings from this girl."

OK that was scary. She got me to say all this without doing anything. What kind of witchcraft is that look?

She finally speaks. "Oh yeah, you definitely love her." She says matter-of-factly.

My eyes go wide, and so does her smile. "Love? whoa there Niylah. Nobody ever said anything about love."

"Whatever you say Lexa. I gotta go back to work. Feel free to chill back here until your date with your one true love." She says with an annoying grin, and she runs out the door as I grab a pillow off the couch to throw at her. She makes it out the door too fast and I hit the wall.

I lay back down on the couch. Love. She's so weird. Love. I am definitely not in love.

After a few hours of me hanging around the library it's time for me to get ready. I'm not one for make-up, it's too much of a hassle for me, and I also don't know how to use it. So I don't have to deal with that while getting ready. I am however going to change clothes. I've worn these jeans for 3 days in a row, and the shirt ain't too clean either. I dig through my backpack for my favorite long sleeve shirt and hoodie, and my dark blue jeans. I should probably also change my bra. I've been wearing it for about a week and a half. Don't need to change my underwear, I put on clean ones after I showered. After I dig all my stuff out I set it down on the couch, I grab my "Hygiene Bag" and head to the bathroom.

I wash my face, brush my teeth and hair and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm going on a date, with Clarke Griffin of all people. I've never been on an date, not a real 'proper' one at least. Those damn nervous feelings are back and worse than ever. I close my eyes and start counting, this time aloud. I whisper to myself, counting up to 43. I open my eyes, and smile. I'm going on a date with Clarke Griffin.

I get dressed and say bye to Niylah. I put my chin on her shoulder. "I gotta go. If I'm out too late I'll just grab my stuff tomorrow."

She nods. "OK. Go have fun on your date with your one true love!" I gently smack the side of her head. "You didn't deny it!" She laughs.

I shake my head and move off her shoulder. "You're impossible." I start walking away towards the door.

She yells across the library. "But you still love me!" I laugh to myself, turn around and wave goodbye.

The walk to Clarke's house from the library should be less than a half hour. I check my watch, 6:23. I might be a little early. Oh well.

I make it to her street with 10 minutes to spare. I stand behind the fence of the first house on her street. Even though I've had all day, with a half hour walk to clear my head, I still want these next few minutes.

I'm so scared. What if I say something wrong? What if I say something that gives me away? What if she can sense that there's something off with me? I know most of my lies so well, I'm pretty sure I could pass a polygraph easily with them. But she has this tendency of asking questions most people don't, or that I haven't thought of. She makes me so nervous to, what if I make a fool of myself? I don't wanna back out though. She gives me this awfully wonderful feeling in my stomach. It's like butterfly's that I don't want gone.

I shake out my hands and arms. I can do this. I like her, and I'm not gonna let myself stand in the way. I am aware I've only known this girl for a couple days, but still. I'm starting to think Niylah was right, maybe I am starting to have feelings for Clarke. I check my watch, it's 6:58. I walk to Clarke's door. I knock on her door and whisper to myself. "Ai gonplei nou ste odon."

A middle aged woman opens the door. Abby Griffin. Wow she's pretty. I can see where Clarke gets it. "Hi, is Clarke here?" I thought she would be working.

She nods. "Yeah, she's almost done getting ready. Come on in." She opens the door wider. "What's your name?"

I swallow hard. "Lexa. I'm Lexa." I stick my hand out to shake hers.

She smiles and shakes my hand. Her hands have calluses, but are still soft. "I'm Abby Griffin, Clarke's mom." I nod and smile. She goes to the stairs and yells. "Clarke Lexa's here!"

Clarke yells back. "OK. I'm coming!" I can hear her walking upstairs. She runs for a second, stops and then walks to the stairs.

As she walks down the stairs and into my sight, I lose my breath. She's even more gorgeous than usual. Is she walking down the stairs very slowly, or is that in my head? "Yu ste meizen." I whisper accidentally. I correct myself and say aloud. "You look fantastic." She's wearing light blue jeans, black converse, a black tank top, a red flannel, and a light grey hoodie. She also has a little planet necklace on and simple make-up. She's wearing something simple, but it just makes her look absolutely amazing. I can't even begin to imagine how stunning she would look when she dressed up.

She smiles widely. She bites her bottom lip, and then says, "You ready?" I nod. Clarke's mom seems to have disappeared. Clarke walks over to me and kisses my cheek. I smile warmly. "One sec." She says before walking to the kitchen. I hear her say bye to her mom and her walking back to me. "Let's go." I nod, and we walk out the door

We get to her car and before I can open my door she grabs me and kisses me deeply. I run my hand through her incredibly soft, blonde hair. My other hand is on her side, gripping her jacket. Her hands are on my back and the side of my face, respectively. She pulls away and rests her forehead on mine. "Hi." She breathes.

"Hello." I chuckle softly. I drag my fingers up and down her left arm. My other hand's still on her other side.

"Did I tell you how good you look?" She asks me.

I shake my head. "Me? Look at you. You look amazing." She bites her lip again. Does she not realize how much that drives me crazy? She's so sexy. Maybe that's why she does it. I can't take it. I kiss her. After a minute, I deepen the kiss.

She pulls away again. "If we keep this up, we'll miss dinner." I laugh. "Come on." She opens my door for me. "Let's go eat. I'm hungry. You?" She says as she walks to her door.

I nod. "Starving. My mouth's watering just thinking of those breadsticks." She laughs and we both get in the car.

As she starts the car I look over at her. She looks back at me and grins. I smile back and she turns to face the front.

Niylah was right. I've definitely got feelings for Clarke. She turns the radio on to start blasting her music. She starts doing her little mini daces in her seat as she's driving. Oh yeah, definitely. I better not mess this up.