Chapter 3
Hope spends the next week training harder than she has since the end of the NWSL season. She hasn’t gone out since she and Pinoe went to see Kelley and she hasn’t been able to get the bartender out of her mind. It pisses her off. She shouldn’t be so caught up with some girl she doesn’t even know. She works off her frustration in the gym and tries to get the woman’s face out of her head. Hope respects the fact that Kelley didn’t take her bullshit. She didn’t sugar coat it, didn’t play any sort of game, when it came down to it, she told Hope how she felt and it attracted the goalkeeper to the woman even more. Carli has been out of town since yesterday, visiting Brian in New Jersey for a week, so Hope has the house to herself and it gives her plenty of time to think about everything.
She allowed herself to feel the pain that she hid away for so long. She sulked around the house, ran herself rugged at the gym, and thought about how she wants to live the rest of her life. Does she want to live life without giving anyone a chance because of one bad breakup? Or does she want to go for it and risk being hurt again? She’s well aware of the fact that she needs to stop being so self-destructive, but is she willing to put herself out there again?
As Hope walks back into The Barrel just over a week after she and Kelley last saw each other, she feels unnaturally nervous. It’s almost 10, an hour before the bar closes for the night, so Hope is hopeful that it won’t be busy. When she walks in and sees the bar looking stranded, she lets out a sigh of relief. ‘Now let’s just hope Kelley’s working.’ She thinks, as she walks in. When she sees Kelley making her way out of the kitchen and back behind the bar, she feels her heart rate quicken. She’s never done this before. Usually, girls come to her and she has all the control in the relationship. Hell, when she and Ali first started out, Hope wanted nothing to do with the defender, but Ali pursued her anyway and Hope ended up falling for the brunette.
Kelley’s eyes meet hers, as she walks into the bar area. She gives her a challenging look, almost daring her to approach. Hope plops herself down at a barstool and gives Kelley a small smile. Kelley walks over to her and throws a drink menu down on the counter. “What can I get for you?” She asks, as if she doesn’t know Hope at all. Hope rolls her eyes. “I didn’t come for a drink.” She says, softly. She’s resting her chin on her hand, her elbow resting on the counter. “Well then you should be sitting over there.” She says, pointing to the dining area. She walks away before Hope can get a response out. The goalkeeper sighs and watches as Kelley cleans the bar and checks inventory. She waits, patiently, until Kelley finally looks at her. Hope gives her a pleading look and Kelley finally gives in, walking over to her. “What?” She asks, impatiently.
“I came to talk to you.” Hope says, confidently. Kelley puts a hand on her hip. “What if I don’t want to talk to you?” She fires back. “Then you could just listen?” The keeper asks, hopefully. Kelley looks towards the dining area, obviously contemplating something in her head. “Fine.” She says, finally, snapping her eyes back to Hope’s. The brunette nods, slowly, choosing her next words, wisely. “I’m sorry if I disrespected you.” She starts, pulling no reaction out of the bartender. “I shouldn’t have.” She states. They fall into a short silence, before Kelley scoffs. “That’s what you came here to say?” She asks, squinting her eyes at Hope, who gapes at the woman. She nods, slowly, trying to gauge if that’s what Kelley wants to hear or not.
“Well thanks for the apology. We’re closing in twenty minutes, just so you know.” She says, easily, before turning away from Hope and grabbing half-full liquor bottles, beginning to organize them. “I came to see if you wanted to get dinner with me tomorrow night?” She says, questioningly. Kelley turns her body around and gapes at Hope for a few seconds. She opens her mouth, as if she’s about to speak, but only closes it again. “W-What was that?” She asks, raising her eye brows at the taller woman. Hope suddenly feels nervous. Is she overstepping? Is Kelley not interested? “I-I just thought...” She trails off, her eyes flickering between Kelley and the counter. She internally berates herself. ‘You’re Hope fucking Solo.’ She thinks, trying to give herself some sort of pep talk.
She glances at Kelley and sighs. “I came back here hoping you’d want to go on a date with me.” She says, honestly. Kelley looks at her for a few seconds. “No.” She responds, simply. Hope’s eyes widen and she falters a little bit at the blatant rejection. “Okay.” She drags out. “Can I ask why?” She asks, skeptically. “I’ve heard some things about you. I’m not looking to sleep around, Hope. I’m looking for something real.” She responds.
“What have you heard about me?” The goalkeeper asks, furrowing her eyebrows, confused as to how Kelley would know anything about her personal life. The bartender shrugs. “Word gets around in this business. From what I hear, you have a revolving bedroom door. I’m not into that.” She says, with a little bite to her words. Hope looks away from the woman. She’s not particularly proud of what she’s been doing, but for Kelley to write her off because of it seems a little extreme. “What does that have to do with you?”
“I’m not gonna date someone who fucks everyone she sees. I need stability in my life right now and you seem like quite the opposite of that.” Kelley replies, honestly. Hope clenches her jaw. Her first instinct is to fire back at the shorter woman, but she doesn’t. “I’m asking for one date, not marriage.” She says in response. She looks at Kelley for a few seconds, waiting for an answer. When she doesn’t get one, she shakes her head and stands up. “Don’t say I didn’t try.” She says, before turning and heading towards the door. She sighs to herself, as she walks out into the brisk Seattle night. ‘I shouldn’t have come here.’ She thinks, as she shivers with the breeze.
“I like Applebee’s” Hope hears a voice call out. She turns, confusedly, to see Kelley jogging after her. “What?” Hope asks. Kelley finally catches up to her, her breath heavy from trying to run after the goalkeeper. “I like Applebee’s.” She repeats, looking up at Hope. The brunette nods. “Applebee’s it is.” She says. Kelley gives her a hesitant smile. “I’m free tomorrow night.” She says, softly. Hope gives her a smirk. “7 o’clock?” Kelley thinks for a few seconds, trying to remember what her schedule looks like, before nodding. “That works.”
“Do you want to meet me there or am I picking you up?” Hope asks, softly. “We can just meet there.” She replies, before taking a step backwards. “I have to go clean up. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kelley says, giving the taller woman a smile, before turning away and walking quickly back into the restaurant. Hope leans against her car and waits until she sees that Kelley is safely back inside, before she gets into her car and heads back home.
“I asked her on a date.” Hope says, feeling her cheeks become hot with slight embarrassment. She’s 32 years old and she’s going on a first date with someone new. She rubs her face with her free hand, as she paces around the kitchen. She hears Carli stifle a laugh on the other end of the line. “A date? You? Hope Solo? On a date?” She replies, amusedly. Hope huffs and rolls her eyes. “Yes. A date.” She says, seriously. “You’re ready for that? Weren’t you drunkenly fucking girls like last week?” Carli asks, semi-skeptically. Hope stops pacing and leans against the island.
“You think I was happy? Do you really think I was happy when I was getting wasted all the time? I’m over it, Car. You should be happy that this is happening. Why are you making it seem like it’s a bad thing? I’m actually trying here.” Hope spits out, getting frustrated with the lack of support she’s getting from her supposed ‘best friend’. When she had told Pinoe about her date with Kelley, the blonde was ecstatic. She hears Carli sigh. “No, no, that isn’t what I meant. I do think it’s good. I think it’s great and I’m happy that you’re giving someone a chance again.” She says, ensuring Hope that she truly is happy for her.
“I’m honestly nervous about it.” Hope mentions. She knows Carli will try and help her out, while Pinoe would just make fun of her for being a ‘pussy’. “You’ll be fine. Just be yourself. Don’t bring out the ‘cocky pro-athlete’ act that you put on to pick up girls. She’s clearly not into that and if you’re really trying to have something real with her then you need to show her who you are.” Hope sighs. She knows that Carli is right, but if she’s being honest with herself, she’s scared of being herself. What if she shows Kelley her true self and the bartender turns her down? Then what? “I know. I will. I’ll be fine.” Hope responds, in faux-confidence. “I’m gonna go shower. I only have a few hours to get ready and I don’t wanna have to rush.” She mentions, pushing herself off the island and heading upstairs. “Okay. You’ll be fine, you big baby. Text me after and let me know how it goes. Remember, only lean in half way and let her close the gap.” Carli says, as if she’s giving a pre-game speech. Hope rolls her eyes. “Got it.” She says, amusedly, before hanging up. She shakes her head, as she turns on the shower. ‘What am I doing?’ She thinks, imagining all of the things that could go wrong tonight.
Hope wipes at the non-existent wrinkles in her shirt and checks her makeup one last time in her rear-view mirror. ‘As ready as I’ll ever be.’ She thinks, before opening the door and getting out of her car. She looks at the glow of the lights on top of the building, the sign shining through the darkening Seattle night. She locks her car and heads inside. The hostess gives her a small smile, looking at her expectantly. “Welcome to Applebee’s.” She says with a forced smile that screams ‘I hate my job’. “Hi, I’m not sure if the person I’m meeting is here yet?” She says, questioningly.
Turns out, Kelley isn’t there yet, so Hope kindly leaves her name with the hostess for when she does show up. ‘If she shows up.’ Hope thinks, grimly. She’s brought to a booth in the back of the restaurant, to Hope’s approval. Once the hostess walks away, she checks her phone. ‘6:55’ gleams, brightly, back at her. She looks up towards the entrance, waiting for the freckled woman to show.
‘7:05’ Hope sighs, as she looks at her phone. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything while you wait?” The waitress asks, approaching Hope’s table for the second time. Hope looks up at her and nods. “I’m okay, thank you.” The waitress nods, in understanding. “Just grab me if you need anything.” She says, kindly, before walking away. ‘I’ll just wait until 7:15.’ Hope thinks, as another five minutes’ pass. She tries to remain hopeful, tries not to think about it too much, but as 7:15 comes and passes, she starts thinking of what she’s gonna tell her friends. ‘Oh, she stood me up.’ Hope rolls her eyes. Carli would probably give her a motivational speech, while Pinoe will undoubtedly make fun of her for it for weeks. She scrolls through Instagram, trying to look nonchalant. The last thing she needs is all of Applebee’s to know that Hope Solo got stood up on a fucking date.