John learns more about sexuality and gender
Vriska’s POV:
John has been silent for most of the movie, and it worries you. He usually speaks about how cool Nicolas Cage in a certain scene, but he is just staring at the screen and eating popcorn.
“John?”
“Yes, Vriska?”
You embrace him with your arms and let your boobs touch his back. He blushes at your act of affection and you think his nose would bleed at any moment.
“You have been awkwardly silent for most of Kick Ass. Is something wrong?”
He sighs and pauses the movie. By the way he is looking at you you know something is wrong.
“Vriska, can I ask you something personal?”
“Yes?”
“Do you like me?”
You laugh at his question and he is just looks puzzled.
“I don’t just like you; I love you adorkable nerd. Why asking something so obvious?”
He clearly doesn’t know what to say, but he is trying. The last time he got this nervous was when he discovered that Rose was a lesbian. Wasn’t it that obvious?
“Vriska, do you like girls?”
What?
“I mean, are you a bisexual?”
“Of course I am a bisexual, John. Why do you ask?”
“Well, I still don’t understand how can you like girls but still be with me, but Jade told me that was possible in some way that I still can’t figure out.”
“I do find women as attractive as men, but you are the one I choose as my boyfriend.”
“So you are straight for me?”
You want to facepalm, but you know he is just too innocent to understand most of this concepts. If you two have kids you hope that John doesn’t educate them with Christian sex education.
“Yes, John, I am straight for you.”
“Cool. Also, I saw some pictures about you with another girl. Sorry for stalking.”
You almost forgot that you have to erase those old pictures. Meenah is a bad memory that you should forget.
“It’s ok. She is an old acquaintance that must never be spoken about.”
“Okay.”
You and John return to watching the movie and you two sleep in the couch while still cuddling.
John’s POV:
Porrim’s spa.
“So, Egbert,” Dave speaks to you. “How does the sauna feels like?”
“It is my fist time in a spa and it feels good. I thought only old ladies came here.”
“You are an ignoramous of the heteronormative society.” Karkat says while massaging Dave’s shoulders. Both have been having too much contact in the last few hours, but you think it is something bros do. “Your shoulders are tense, Strider.”
“My bro has been an asshole lately. Nothing unusual. Hey, John, how are things with spiderbitch? Did she decided that you weren’t feminine enough so she went for a new chick?”
“For your information, she is a bisexual and she is quite straight for me.”
Karkat facepalms and Dave just smiles.
“Dude, chill. I know she is bi, I was just being sarcastic. You seriously need to take courses about noticing sass and figurative sense. This is irony 101, bro.”
“You two can continue talking about Serket’s sexuality, I will just go to submerge in the mud pool or some shit.”
Just as Karkat was leaving, his towel fell and you could see his naked body… wait.
“Oh my god, Karkat! Where is your penis!”
Both Dave and Karkat looked at you awkwardly and both facepalmed.
“Seriously, Egbert?! Didn’t you noticed in all these years?!”
“John is just slow as fuck, Karkat.”
You take afew minutes to figure out why Karkat has no dick or balls. Then you get it.
“You are a girl?!”
Why are they still facepalming?