You're My Best Friend
THREE WEEKS LATER
“You have to tell her, Raven.” Anya says quietly as she puts her clothes back on. “Clarke is just starting to trust me again. I don’t want her to think I was sneaking off behind her back with her best friend.”
Raven bites her lip and nods. “It’s just..” Raven sighs, frustrated. “Clarke won’t even be mad at you, Anya. I think she will be disappointed in me for keeping this from her though. We tell eachother everything.”
“Well then why didn’t you tell her about us months ago?” Anya asks softly, moving to lay next to Raven in bed. “Are you ashamed of me? The loser addict?” Anya asks, trying to hide the hurt evident in her voice.
“Hey stop that.” Raven says, cupping Anya’s cheeks. “You have to stop thinking so lowly of yourself. You’re not a loser. You have a disease and you’re clean. You’ve been clean for a long time now. You have to stop beating yourself up over this.” Raven says genuinely.
“My sister missed out on her daughter’s life for 6 years. She missed her first steps, first words, first day of school, so much more. And it’s because of me..I know she says she has forgiven me and I know Clarke does too..but..” Anya shakes her head and looks off.
“But what?” Raven says gently. She knows how hard this has been for Anya these past few months. She has seen it firsthand.
“But I’ll never forgive myself.” Anya says before sucking in a shaky breath.
“Anya..” Raven says sadly. “We all make mistakes. You were trying your best. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. You have infinite love for your sister. It’s time to love yourself too, yeah?” Raven says before kissing the older woman’s forehead.
“And you’re right. I should have told Clarke about this a long time ago. I just didn’t know how to tell her. And this whole situation has been very complicated, you know? I’m not a commitment person and neither are you.” Raven says honestly and Anya nods along. Both of them have been seeing other people during this setup, although that has been happening less and less on both sides. Whether they are ready to admit it or not, this setup is turning less and less casual as each day goes by.
“Yes you’re right. I can’t be tie down.” Anya smirks and then crawls on top of Raven. “Although I think I’d like to tie you up just about now.” Anya whispers seductively before crashing her lips passionately with Raven’s.
“I’d have no objections to that.” Raven says breathily in between kisses. Both girls have a similar gleam in their eyes before their lips reconnect together for a night of continued lust.
///
“Mamas, I have an announcement!” Alex says happily before eating another chicken nugget. It’s dinner time after a long hard day. Lexa fought three fires today and she is absolutely beat. She can’t wait to just snuggle up with her girls and watch TV.
Lately, she has been staying most nights at Clarke’s apartment. It was just last week that they told Alex that they were officially girlfriends. Their little girl squealed and was absolutely ecstatic. Things between her and Clarke are serious and real now. The blonde has even insisted she leaves a toothbrush in the bathroom and some clothes in a drawer. They are truly a little family now. Lexa knows it’s too soon but she wishes she lived with her girls full time. She’ll wait on discussing that idea with Clarke though. Lexa knows she shouldn’t rush this though.
“What’s your announcement bug?” Clarke asks attentively. Lexa smiles at Clarke; she’s such a hands on mom.
“I haves a boyfriend.” Alex says definitely, looking her Mommy Lexa straight in the eyes as if she knows she will have a problem with this.
Lexa chokes on her asparagus and her eyes bulge out of her head. Clarke chuckles at her girlfriend’s reaction and soothes her by putting her hand on top of Lexa’s.
“No you absolutely do not!” Lexa says mid choking. Alex frowns just like Clarke does whenever she’s mad.
“Lex..” Clarke says, laughing a little.
“Yess I do!!” Alex raises her voice. “Remy is my boyfriendses.”
“Remy?! As in goalie on the soccer team, Remy?” Lexa asks, shocked beyond belief. “Just when you think you can trust someone..” Lexa shakes her head. “No way you can date him!” Lexa says and Alex looks like she’s getting angrier and angrier by the second.
“Why!!” Alex yells and bangs her hands on the table, very close to a meltdown.
Clarke chuckles but puts a stern face on. “No yelling, sweetie. Talk nice to your mommy.”
Alex just huffs, sinks down in her chair, and crosses her arms.
“For starters, he picks his nose instead of catching goals.” Lexa says, frustrated. Her baby girl is too young to date. Absolutely not. No.
“MOMMY STOPSIT!” Alex yells even louder. “WE ARE GETTING MARRIEDS!”
“Alexandria!” Clarke reprimands her daughter. Her daughter nibbles on her nugget and gives her mother a cold stare.
“It’s like a I have two 6 six-year-olds.” Clarke whispers to Lexa and playfully rolls her eyes. Lexa pouts and mumbles something about how her baby girl isn’t allowed to date until she’s dead.
“Now both of you calm down.” Clarke says, looking between Alex and Lexa. Both girls have deep pouts on their faces. “Alex sweetie, you like Remy?” Clarke says gently and Alex nods enthusiastically. Lexa huffs and crosses her arms. “Okay how about we make a compromise, here.” Clarke says, trying to hold back herself from laughing. This is too cute. “Remy can be your boyfriend, but you can’t marry him until you finish elementary school.” Clarke jokes and Lexa looks at her with such fierce eyes.
“Clarke!” Lexa objects.
“Okay okay, fine, you can’t marry him until you’re out of college. Better?” Clarke says playfully and sticks her tongue out at Lexa. Alex scrunches her face in deep thought.
Both Alex and Lexa seem unhappy with their cute little pouts but nonetheless, they agree to the compromise. Clarke chuckles to herself. Having a little boyfriend is completely innocent. They will probably ‘break up’ in a weeks time. But Lexa is so protective over their daughter is so freaking adorable to Clarke. It makes her melt. Lexa Woods is certainly the one for her.
///
“Hey Clarke, can we talk?” Raven knocks on Clarke’s bedroom door later that night. Clarke is already dressed in her pjs and snuggled up in bed, but Lexa is still in the shower. Alex is fast asleep. The little fight of Alex’s ‘boyfriend’ long forgotten.
“Sure Rae. What’s up?” Clarke says as she pats the bed space next to her. Raven sighs heavily and lays down next to her.
“I have something to tell you.” Raven starts out carefully. Clarke just nods. She can tell something serious is weighing Raven down right now. “I’ve been sleeping with someone on and off for months now.” Raven says and Clarke smiles a little, thinking she knows where this is going. Raven is finally ready to commit to someone and she must be nervous about these new type of feelings. Clarke has always been so worried about Raven and relationships. She has always been the player type ever since college, never settling down.
“And it’s starting to get serious?” Clarke probes gently. Raven bites her lip.
“Umm..I don’t think we are there yet, but she is special to me.” Raven says and sighs again.
“Raven..whatever is on your mind, you can tell me. I’m your best friend.” Clarke says gently, squeezing Raven’s arm affectionately.
Raven closes her eyes and sighs. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“Why would I be mad?” Clarke asks with a confused frown on her face.
“I’ve been sleeping with Anya.” Raven says, opening her eyes to gauge Clarke’s reaction. Clarke tenses up, clearly shocked. “I know you’re probably wondering when this happened. I was on a shitty date a few months ago and Anya helped me out of it. It was at the bar she works at. After that, we just hit it off.”
“You’ve been sleeping with Anya for months?” Clarke asks, still confused.
“Yes.” Raven answers tight lipped.
“I just..Raven…” Clarke sighs out and rubs her forehead from the headache she know has. “I don't care if you’re sleeping with Anya. I care that you felt like you couldn’t tell me.” Clarke says sadly. “Do you really not trust me?”
“Clarke, I trust you with my life.” Raven says wholeheartedly. “I just know that with everything you’ve been going through these past few months, I didn’t want to upset you any further. And I know what Anya did and I know how you felt about her.”
“Raven, I love Anya like a sister.” Clarke says honestly. “But yes, I’ve been upset with how things turned out and it was easiest to put the blame on her. I’m ashamed for how I acted and the anger I held onto for so long but Anya just reminded me of everything bad that happened.”
“You know she blames herself too.” Raven says gently.
“I don't want that.” Clarke says sadly. “I want this all behind us, Rae. I’m tired of the lies, and the secrets, and the hiding. We need to all be honest with each other.” Clarke says desperately. “You’re my best friend. Please, we can’t start hiding things from each other, even if we think it’ll spare the other person’s feelings.”
“I know. I’m sorry, Clarke. I’ve been handling this wrong.” Raven says truthfully. “I’ve hated hiding this from you and Octavia. Once I started hiding it though, I felt like it was too late to tell the truth. Can you forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you, Raven. We are so close that we tell eachother everything. But it’s still your life, you don’t have to tell me everything.” Clarke says sadly.
“No no, Clarke. I know I don’t have to tell you everything, but I want to. This wasn’t about not trusting you. I love you Grif. I trust you with everything in me. Don’t let this change our dynamic. I didn’t even tell Octavia.” Raven says honestly.
“I love you too, Rae.” Clarke says and hugs her best friend.
“Cuddles?” Raven asks. Whenever either girl was upset, they would cuddle together. It shows that even though they are older, there friendships will always be the same.
“Yes but you’re the big spoon.” Clarke says and Raven huffs out. She hates being the big spoon. The two best friends cuddle and laugh and talk.
Lexa walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to find Raven and Clarke fast asleep and cuddled up together. “What did I miss?” She mumbles to herself before grabbing a pillow and blanket and heading off to the couch. She doesn’t want to interrupt this best friend moment.