Lapis watched as mid-evening, Amethyst strutted into the barn with a large grin and her baseball scarf gripped tightly in her hand.
And she watched as she later left with an even bigger grin and the scarf wrapped tightly around her neck.
The two had frequent meetings each night, this being the fourth night that Amethyst would quickly send Steven back to the temple and make her way to the half covered barn. Although Lapis couldn't quite make out what was going on, she could hear the two. They giggled and whispered as laughs became muffled. As bodies playfully fighting became bodies held close. Hands gripped to everything, anything that could make it seem as though what they were doing wasn't a wanting dream, but a mind-fogging reality.
Lapis left to give them privacy.
She would fly over the city, wings grazing the skyscrapers. She would dip below the crowds into Jersey and soar quietly as men would yell and women would hack and snore in the passenger seat of their cars. She would even take her time admiring the forest, flying through a sea of yellows and reds.
Lapis knew what was happening back at the barn but chose not to think about it. She knew how Amethyst would cut off Peridot's lengthy rants with a kiss. She knew Peridot would return the favor on Amethyst's calloused lavender skin.
It didn't make her sad, no, to realize Peridot had someone. But it hurt. It was a deep pang in her chest that overtook her with every beat of her wings. Lapis tried to drown out their moans with the bustle of the city and the crashing waves of the galaxy warp but she could still hear them. She could still feel the familiar chill of feeling alone. Even when she got back to the water tower, even as the world was silent, she shivered and curled into herself. And she didn't know why.
Was it jealousy? Was it a longing for someone to be sitting next to her, holding her instead of Peridot or Amethyst?
Was it love?
Lapis gripped at her chest, searching for a heart that wasn't there.
Yes, it was.
And for the first time in centuries that she wasn't being held captive, a time when she was supposed to be breathing freely, Lapis felt as though she was drowning. The feeling of safety and liberty that she had longed for was saturated in despair and the gem became heavy with exhaustion.
Lapis was trapped once more.
And this time she had given up.