Ah, Shoot
Later in the afternoon everyone had made their way back to Clarke’s room and were setting up a schedule that would allow at least one of them to be with Clarke at all times. Anya was working on the Jaha situation exclusively at that point so she would be the most flexible and Lexa had determined that she would do her damnedest to not leave the room for more than a few hours at a time. Indra and Lincoln were going to be busy at the precinct for a while and no one knew how long it would take them to deal with the shitstorm that came with taking someone like Thelonius Jaha down.
Octavia had to go to her classes whenever she could, but she was able to do all of her homework in the hospital when she needed to so she was with Clarke whenever she could be. The psychiatrist she had been shadowing was very understanding when she explained what little of the situation she could.
Raven was lucky that her bosses were as understanding as they were. They had essentially given her a packet of paperwork to look over and report back to them on any discrepancies she could find. She was trying to make her way further in the ranks within the company and if she could establish herself as an actual engineer as opposed to just an apprentice, she could go so far so fast.
They were all in the room that afternoon, having just eaten a late lunch, and were trying to figure out what their next steps would be.
Everyone could see that Octavia was relatively out of it, and no one could blame her for that. Her life was being thrown in a storm and they all knew that she would come out with another piece missing. Sitting in that room though, the young brunette knew that she wouldn’t lose her actual family in the end. Everyone she needed was in that room with her, and she could only hope and pray that she didn’t lose anyone else.
Raven had somewhat receded into herself throughout the day. She was all too used to losing people at that point and she didn’t know how else to prepare herself for the possibility of losing those around her. For most of the day, she was essentially sitting in that room by herself. Clarke was silent and unresponsive, the steady beeping of the machines the only indication that she wasn’t gone for good and Raven hated it. It was a consistent, nagging, obnoxious reminder that she was just on the precipice of losing another member of her family. Lexa was about as silent as Clarke was and Raven knew she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to bother her in any case.
Anya was the first person to notice the usually energetic brunette’s change in demeanor. She and Indra were the first ones back to the hospital as Lincoln and Octavia had offered to pick up food on their way in. The soldier saw the way Raven had curled up on the chair in the corner, pulling her legs into herself in a way that had to be uncomfortable with the brace on. She walked torn between who to go to first: Clarke, Lexa or Raven? Knowing that both Lexa and Clarke weren’t going anywhere, the dirty blonde made her way to the occupied chair in the back of the hospital room and knelt down beside it.
Grey eyes locked on to the lost look on the younger girl’s face and Anya hated it. She wished she could save all those around her from the pain of everything going on around them, but the only thing she could really do was help them deal with the aftermath. Lexa and Clarke would have everyone else, but Raven would try to push through and not take any of the attention from them.
Reaching a hand forward slowly as to not startle the occupied girl, Anya brushed her fingers through raven locks and offered a small smile when brown eyes finally focused on her face.
Raven blinked a few times, taking note of the fact that Anya was right there and looking at her so carefully. She had to blink again to keep the tears from filling her eyes and she offered back the strongest smile she could muster. It still wasn’t much, but it was all she had.
Anya sighed, deflating slightly. Whatever thoughts had Raven stuck in her head were deep and she wouldn’t be able to get them out immediately. The soldier lifted herself up slightly, leaning forward and pressing a kiss into the mechanic’s hair. She rested her forehead there when she felt Raven release a sigh and some of the tension left her tightly coiled body.
Everyone’s heads turned when Lincoln and Octavia walked into the room with bags in their hands and they started getting settled to eat something. None of them really had any appetite, but they knew that they had to eat a little bit.
Octavia could see the shadows dancing in Raven’s eyes and she immediately settled herself next to her, wanting to make sure that she could offer any comfort she could. As the mechanic made her way to the back wall of the room, separating herself from everyone else around them, Octavia grabbed a Styrofoam container and made her way to the older brunette. She could see the guarded look in brown eyes and she knew that she would have to do something to help pull her best friend out of whatever funk she was in. Octavia sidled up next to the quiet brunette and slipped her hand into Raven’s, attempting to send all of her love to the older girl through that touch.
Raven’s head whipped to the side at the contact to see blue eyes studying her face intently. The adoration and appreciation she saw in them hit Raven in a way she wasn’t expecting. Raven had thought that she was going to lose Octavia – she had been preparing herself to have to let go of the blue-eyed brunette, but Octavia had just managed to grab her even tighter and assure her that they would stay together.
Feeling a bit of her security come back to herself, Raven squeezed Octavia’s hand right back, shooting her a soft smile before taking the sandwich from her hands and turning to look at everyone else in the room.
That was about an hour ago, however, and now they were all discussing who would be going home when and who would be staying at the hospital.
As they were finalizing the schedule for the week, Dr. Shaw walked into the room with another woman.
“Good afternoon, everyone. This is Root, she is the nurse that has been working with me on Clarke’s case since I started working with her.”
The taller woman smiled at everybody so sweetly that they had no idea how she was able to work with Shaw. Where the doctor hadn’t given them a single indication of any emotion, this nurse was practically bouncing where she stood.
“It’s so good to finally meet all of you. I promise you that we are going to do our best to make sure Clarke’s recovery is swift and efficient.”
The crew watched as Dr. Shaw went through her usual tests with the silent blonde, not looking up when any of them asked questions. Granted, there wasn’t much that they could ask anyways. No one knew much about Clarke’s condition and they didn’t know what they could ask without feeling like they were betraying their fragile friend’s trust.
The tests didn’t alert them to anything new, which was sadly to be expected. It had only been two days since Clarke had been brought in so they weren’t necessarily expecting her to wake up from the coma immediately. They needed to make sure her brain was functioning basically before they reduced her medication anyways. Still, despite that, it was almost completely up to Clarke to wake up and Shaw couldn’t bring herself to admit that she was afraid to take away the medication in case the blonde couldn’t wake herself up.
Shaw and Root left not long after coming in, and everyone was thrown back into trying to figure out what to do next. None of them wanted to leave; they wanted to stay with Clarke the whole time and make sure she knew they were all there for her. They all knew that that was unreasonable, however, and Clarke would probably feel even worse if they put their lives completely on hold.
Indra and Anya decided that they would stay until that night so that Raven, Octavia, and Lexa could go back to their apartment and grab clothes and arrange what they would need for the next few days. Lincoln had to go to the precinct for some paperwork and he would be going to stay with Indra and Anya when he got it all.
Nurses were in and out of Clarke’s room over the next few hours – mainly Root, Harper, and Monroe – and they went about their business without disrupting the flow Clarke’s family had found themselves in. Dr. Deidre had come by during the day as well, talking to all of them and trying to answer their questions. He tried to assure them all that Clarke was most likely just so physically exhausted that her body was finally taking an opportunity to rest. The crew couldn’t help but think the worst, though, remembering all the things Clarke seemed to have been through over the last many years.
It wasn’t until about 2 in the morning when Shaw actually came back herself. She looked positively exhausted, hair falling out of her ponytail and shoulders lacking their usual rigid posture. She walked into the room a little, eyeing the three figures inside before stepping closer to Clarke’s bed.
The stoic brunette grabbed the chart sitting at the end of the bed, ignoring brown eyes that were following her every move. Clarke’s not-girlfriend was curled up in her usual spot with her hand close enough to keep its hold on Clarke somehow, sleeping in what had to be an extremely uncomfortable position. The brunette on the other side of the room, however, had her little lamp on and was penning away at some packet of papers.
Putting the chart down and allowing a moment of eye contact with the aero-mechanical engineer, Dr. Shaw turned and made her way out of the patient’s room.
Raven walked out after Shaw, needing to know more. She had been running through different scenarios in her head and none of them were comforting. She was so afraid of losing yet another member of her family and she needed anything, any small bit of hope she could find to hold onto and keep herself together.
“Hey!”
Shaw turned around, blank expression on her face.
“I need to know…” Raven could feel her reserve start to dwindle. She had been trying to stay strong for Lexa, but asking the question she had been dying to ask for so long she didn’t know if she could keep the façade up any longer. “I just…Is she going to be okay?”
For the very first time, Raven saw emotions flash across the doctor’s face. She didn’t want to assume that she was above whatever condition Shaw had, but maybe the quiet brunette actually did care about Clarke in a bigger way.
Shaw could see the barely masked fear in Raven’s face and she knew that she had to five an answer. As she thought about what her answer should be, the usually closed-off doctor could feel herself get flustered.
“Dr. Shaw, please – ”
“I don’t know!”
Both brunettes froze at the doctor’s outburst. Neither one of them would have expected for Dr. Shaw to explode like that. Whether it came form Raven’s questions or the fact that Shaw just didn’t have any answers to the questions they all had, something had caused the tension within her to bubble over. As soon as it was out, however, the taller woman scowled and pulled the mechanic into an empty room, remaining mindful of her brace.
As soon as they were far enough into the room to close the door, Shaw spun around to look at Raven. There was a look in her eyes that froze the younger girl where she was.
“Dr. Griffin’s condition is very sensitive. She has an extremely complicated medical history and we need to pay very careful attention to how she changes from here-on-out. We were monitoring her closely before all of this and we did see an improvement in the ischemic region of her brain. Right now, we aren’t sure if there has been any regression in the blood flow to the section affected by the previous head traumas she experienced, but none of us will know the extent of the damage unless she wakes up.”
It was the first time Shaw had actually said that there was a possibility Clarke wouldn’t wake up and Raven felt the world around her freeze.
Shaw didn’t know how to handle what all was going on between them and she really just needed to get off her feet. Mumbling a quiet, “Excuse me,” she stepped around the braced girl and made her way out into the hallway.
Raven stood where she was for a moment, trying to grasp what she had heard. Clarke had been getting better. Before everything went to shit and their lives were thrown for yet another spin, Clarke’s condition had been improving and she might have even been cured eventually. That should have been such a great bit of information, but it seemed to be just Clarke’s luck that that could all be taken away. It was put within Clarke’s grasp only to be ripped away in such a violent way.
Shaking herself from her internal musings, Raven turned and ran out the door as well, hoping to catch up to Clarke’s doctor. The woman seemed to have disappeared, however, and the brunette sighed in disappointment.
“She’s quite a character, isn’t she?”
Raven nearly jumped out of her skin, not expecting anyone to be so close to her. The voice whispered practically in her ear and Raven spun around with her hand up in a fist, ready to punch whoever she needed to.
Root watched the small brunette jump, the smile on her face not faltering at all. She could see that she had obviously frightened the younger girl, but she also knew that the startled brunette would be just fine.
Brown eyes leveled at Root with a glare.
“Shouldn’t you try to, I don’t know, not give people heart attacks. That's kind of counter-productive for a nurse, isn't it?”
Root just smiled. From this close, Raven could see a lot more of her face than she had seen before. She had a tiny button nose that just immediately made her look adorable, but there was something about her eyes that told Raven the nurse could put her six feet under in a heartbeat. There was a hardness buried deep within, shrouded in a history that seemed as dark as her hair.
Her hair, as well, easily caught Raven’s attention. It was a burnt auburn color, curled in perfect waves. The nurse had pulled her hair up, but some chunks hadn’t made it into the hairband. They framed her face in a way that made her cast a shadow across one part, adding to the air of mystery that she had about her, and they bounced as she walked in a way that emphasized her terrifying cuteness.
Raven realized that she was practically ogling the nurse’s face. It also seemed as though the extremely tall brunette wouldn’t be saying anything more, so she turned and made as if she was going to walk away.
A voice stopped her before she took her first step.
“Dr. Griffin is in good hands, Raven. Sameen will make sure she’s okay.”
Raven watched Root’s face, studying her. She didn’t think there was anything that would make her feel less intimidated by the tall nurse, and the way she seemed to be speaking directly to Raven’s soul just added to the power Root seemed to carry with her everywhere.
Trying to pull herself out of whatever spell the older woman seemed to have placed over her, Raven shook her head.
“How does that work, by the way? Dr. Shaw’s whole ‘no emotions’ thing. How is she able to be a doctor if she doesn’t care?”
Root smiled. “It’s not that she doesn’t have any emotions. Her brain just doesn’t process and express them. She’s not the scary kind of sociopath that’s also a psychopath and goes around killing people for the hell of it. Really she just lacks empathy and…isn’t really the best at interacting with people.”
“Then how the hell did she become ‘friends’ with Clarke?”
“Cognitive dissonance.”
Raven waited, expecting some sort of clarification. When she realized that she wasn’t going to get any, the mechanic huffed and bit out, “And what the hell does that mean?”
Root met Raven’s gaze with a sad smile this time. “Both Dr. Shaw and Dr. Griffin have a preconceived idea of who they are. They think that they’ve figured themselves out and that they’ve settled themselves in their own minds. They get flustered when something happens that makes them question what they’ve concluded.
“They bonded over their mutual misunderstanding of who they are. Shaw was shocked by the fact that she actually liked Clarke and cared about what happened to her. Their first conversation was about how Sameen would have hated her in any other situation. Clarke thinks that she doesn’t deserve to have people care about her and that’s part of what drew her to Shaw. She doesn’t have to worry about emotional entanglements and that’s all Clarke thinks she needs.”
Raven just looked at her. “How do you know all this?”
“I know just about everything that goes on in this hospital, Ms. Reyes. If you watch closely enough, you get to learn the people around you and understand their patterns. It’s a very lonely life.”
It was a new view of the mysterious brunette. That air of power that Root carried about her seemed to be well-deserved, but Raven was realizing how much of a sacrifice it called for. Not that she was any stranger to isolation, but Root seemed to have taken it to a whole new level.
A question crossed her mind once again and she had to ask. “Is Clarke okay here? Does she have any other friends?”
Root could see the genuine concern and warmth in Raven’s eyes, and she could hear the pain in her voice.
“Dr. Griffin is not fond of making friends. Like I said earlier, she’s not big on getting close to people. She doesn’t really talk to others, and she doesn’t spend much effort trying to connect to them. In a way, I think Clarke wanted to be like Shaw without having to deal with emotions. She’ll deny it until her last breaths, but Clarke really does feel a lot.”
They stood there for a moment, looking at each other and trying to figure out where to go from there. Raven noticed someone walking towards Clarke’s room.
She was brought back to Root when the nurse started speaking again.
Brown eyes were completely glazed over, looking off into the distance over Raven’s shoulder. “We’re all flawed and we’re all broken. In a way, we’re all really just bad code. As an engineer, you must understand that the only thing we can ever do in life is our best.” Root’s eyes shot over to meet Raven’s in that moment, and they were so sharp that Raven could feel them piercing her soul once again. “I told Sameen once that she’s like an arrow, and she’s constantly proving me right. She’s straightforward, focused on a single point and hell-bent on getting there no matter what she has to tear through. She thinks that it makes her broken as a person, but it really just makes her that much stronger.
“Clarke is a lot more like Sameen than she realizes. She’s sharp and she’s controlled. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Clarke lose herself to her emotions no matter how much she might deserve to. She has that same power that Shaw has and she just needs someone to help her push that out. She had a way of getting under your skin, just like an arrow, and hooking in there and refusing to leave.”
Both brunettes smiled sadly at that. There was no doubt that they would carry the imprint that Clarke left in their hearts for the rest of their days. No matter what happened in the next few days, Clarke would be with them forever.
Before either one of them could say another thing, Raven heard someone call Root’s name. She turned her head in time to see Dr. Shaw walking up to them, face as stoic as ever. She came and stood right next to the taller brunette, turning to eye Raven inquisitively.
Root offered Raven a small smile before turning to the doctor.
“How’s it going, sweetie?”
Raven mentally slapped herself. Of course the power brunettes were a couple. It made perfect sense and she was embarrassed to have missed it. She blamed exhaustion.
Shaw rolled her eyes and glared at Root. Despite the flutter in her gut every time Root called her a pet name, she refused to openly react in the middle of the hospital. “Are we going to do our jobs or are you just going to stand around chatting all day?”
The nurse winked, “I have a very important job I can be doing right now, but we might want to get home before that.”
Raven couldn’t stop a laugh from bubbling out but quickly covered her mouth when Shaw leveled her with a glare. The doctor rolled her eyes once more and grabbed Root by her shoulder, dragging her off down the hallway.
Root turned as she was being led away and tossed over her shoulder, “Bye Raven!”
Raven shook her head, watching the two women walk away from her. She could honestly say that she had never met a duo quite like them before.
At that moment, someone walked up behind her and, for the second time in 20 minutes, Raven was scared shitless.
Lexa chuckled slightly at the look of fear on Raven’s face that was quickly replaced with irritation.
“Honestly what the fuck is with people in this hospital giving me a heart attach god damn.”
There seemed to be a story there, and Lexa decided it might be safer to just move on.
Raven was slightly confused seeing Lexa was out of the room and not sitting by Clarke’s bed like she had been since they got there. The only comfort that Raven still had was that if something was going wrong with Clarke, Lexa would not be laughing with her.
Lexa seemed to recognize the look on Raven’s face. “Octavia wanted to talk to Clarke for a moment. She looked miserable.”
Raven was quickly brought back to her current reality. She remembered her best friend was about to lose her brother and that they were all on the verge of losing another member of their little family.
There seemed to be a perpetual look of devastation on Lexa’s face. Raven was seeing the same face that Lexa wore when they first met, when those green eyes were dull and lifeless, empty without the person that used to put the light in them. The younger brunette had a feeling that, if anything were to happen to Clarke, they would be left with that shell of a Lexa that they now knew.
Raven put her arm around Lexa’s shoulders, telling her about this cool food place she found and attempted to help bring at least some comfort to the lawyer.
While Raven and Lexa had gone out to get some food, Octavia was sitting next to Clarke’s bed and trying to keep her food down. The blonde was laying there so small and broken, a stark contrast to the strong girl that Octavia hadn’t realized became such a big part of her life.
The first time the young brunette ever saw the blonde in front of her, they were in class and Octavia had never been so intimidated by another student. Clarke was so strong and so smart and everything Octavia wanted to be. She carried herself with a class that Octavia had never seen in someone their age and Octavia really wanted to talk to her but she had no idea how to approach somebody like Clarke.
In that moment, however, knowing everything she knew about Clarke and what she had been through, Octavia felt her reverence increase exponentially. She didn’t need a degree in psychology to know that Clarke’s mannerisms were a form of self preservation in order to survive every day.
Getting to know the blonde more and more over the last few months, Octavia had come to realize that she really was beyond precious. Clarke was one of the most pure personalities she had ever come across and Octavia wanted nothing more than to be able to protect her from all of the evil around them. Knowing Clarke, of course, she didn’t need anyone’s help or protection, but that didn’t stop Octavia from wanting to give it to her.
Sitting in the vacant seat next to Clarke’s bed, Octavia gently brushed the hair back on Clarke’s head. Looking at the quietly broken face of the girl who had inspired her to actually go for her dreams, Octavia couldn’t stop the tears from building in her eyes and gently falling over the precipice of her eyelids.
“I’m so sorry, Clarke.” It came out in a sob, and Octavia couldn’t hold it back if she wanted to. “You didn’t deserve this. You deserve everything good and beautiful and happy in the world, not this shit that you’ve been given. God, my own brother…” Octavia trailed off lightly, looking down at her hands and trying to figure out where she went wrong.
Octavia never would have believed that Bellamy could do something like this. When they were younger, he always said that he wanted to help people. He wanted to right the wrongs that he had seen being done to those around them. He had become a monster, though, and Octavia didn’t even recognize him anymore.
She had seen him in the police station. He was being held in jail until anything further could be decided about his case, and Octavia couldn’t help but feel a throb of pain for the brother that she had already lost. Seeing him in that cell, broken and bleary-eyed, Octavia knew that Bellamy would never come back from something like this. And when he started speaking, she knew that she had lost her brother forever.
The broken, brunet man had immediately started defending himself, talking about how Clarke was evil and was going to ruin everything for them. He talked about how he was just trying to protect Octavia, because she was his sister and his responsibility. He claimed to know all about what “people like that” do to others – he had seen it done to his own mother and what she turned into – and he just wanted that away from his baby sister and her friends.
Octavia saw the way he had been so stuck in his own head, not hearing a word of reason or understanding that she was trying to get across to him.
She had turned around and walked away from him as he was talking about breaking Clarke, unable to keep the tears from streaming down her face. The young brunette ignored the way her brother called out to her, begging for her to understand that he only did what he did to protect her.
One thing everyone knew about Octavia was that she knew her sense of right and wrong and, no matter what Bellamy said, what he did was wrong. She had told him months ago that if he went after her family she would cut him out of her life. She never imagined that it would be in such a way, though, and she wasn’t prepared for how much it would hurt.
Indra would always be proud of the way she had handled herself in that moment. Despite the tears streaming down her face and the choked sobs she was obviously trying and failing to hold back, Octavia carried her head high and shoulders back as she walked away from her last blood relative. Of course, making it out of the jail-house, Octavia immediately fell apart in the darker woman’s arms. But nothing would ever diminish the strength that Octavia had within her.
In the hospital, however, sitting next to Clarke’s bed and seeing all of the ways the blonde had been broken by people in her life, Octavia wasn’t having any trouble hating her brother. Bellamy had broken in ways that she wasn’t sure were fixable. By all intents and purposes, Clarke should have been broken beyond repair years ago. The doctor had a power in her that, obviously, would overcome whatever was thrown at her.
There was guilt burning deep within her, as well, and she couldn’t stop it from bubbling up with her tears. Everything that Bellamy had done to Clarke, he had done for Octavia. He claimed that he had just been trying to protect Octavia and, whether or not Octavia truly believed the excuse, it was enough to send a dagger straight into her core. The mere thought that she had any hand in what had been done to the broken woman in front of her was something that she couldn’t handle.
As she looked down at the blonde, Octavia could feel the pain in her bones. She knew that they would all have to do everything they possibly could to get Clarke back to where she deserved to be.
Running a hand gently through dirty, blonde locks again, Octavia gasped when she saw a flicker on the comatose woman’s face. Granted, it was just a flicker in her eyes, an indication that Clarke’s eyes were moving behind their eyelids and not that she was actually waking up, Octavia couldn’t help the rush of happiness that rang through her body.
It gave her a hope that she had seriously been lacking. Hope that maybe Clarke would be okay after all.
Sameen walked into Clarke’s room at the end of her shift to find the stoic brunette sleeping in the chair in the corner of the room, resting a hand around the younger brunette’s shoulder. She had learned that the little one, Octavia, was also a friend of Clarke’s and that her brother was one of the monsters that had been caught.
Lexa, the ever-present pissy brunette, had spent every free minute she possibly had in that very room and Sameen rolled her eyes.
Ugh. Love.
She tried to stay quiet all the same, knowing that this was an exhausting situation for everyone. Looking down at the blonde laying silently on the bed, the brown-eyed doctor couldn’t help but feel a twang somewhere in her chest.
"You’re so lazy,” she said, continuing to talk to Clarke as though they were having an active conversation. “It’s about damn time you wake up and get back to work. Your girlfriend over there is getting on my nerves.”
“She’s not…my girlfriend.”
The choked words made Sameen’s head shoot up. Blue eyes were open and looking up at the doctor.
Sameen looked down at the girl in her bed and felt a weight lift off of her chest. She had never felt relief quite like this in her life and a smile quickly crossed her face.
“Well, bitch, took you long enough.”
“Beep. You failed…the bedside manners…test…today,” she said with a pained laugh. It was obvious to Sameen that Clarke was quickly getting exhausted by the conversation and that she most likely wouldn’t stay conscious for long.
“Yea but my patient’s a real shit and her family is annoying as fuck so…”
“Suck it up, buttercup.”
And with that, Clarke slipped back into sleep. Sameen was far more comfortable now, knowing that Clarke could wake up whenever her body was ready.
Lexa slowly uncurled herself from next to Octavia as Dr. Shaw walked out of the room. She had no idea why the doctor spoke or acted the way she did, but the green-eyed brunette was far more pre-occupied with the revelation that Clarke had woken up.
Walking to the other side of the hospital bed, Lexa knelt next to the blonde’s head. She couldn’t help but hope that she would see blue eyes looking back at her, but the blonde stayed deep in her sleep. Lexa couldn’t figure out why Clarke woke up for Dr. Asshole, but had to stop herself. She no longer had any right to Clarke’s time. They weren’t together and Lexa was really just happy that Clarke had woken up.
Clarke opened her eyes once again when she felt Lexa settle next to her and heard the brunette’s breathing even out. She turned her head to the side slightly, feeling heavier that it had felt in quite some time. Blue eyes fell on the head of wavy brunette hair at her side and Clarke felt something throb in her chest. She had been aware at moments throughout her coma-like state and she knew that Lexa had barely left her side the whole time. Sameen had been talking to her like normal every time she came in and Clarke was more than thankful that she was getting updates.
Lexa looked absolutely exhausted, but Clarke couldn’t stop herself from admiring the brunette’s beauty. She would never be able to deny the fact that Lexa carried a large part of Clarke’s heart with her wherever she went, and the blonde knew that it was likely she would never get it back.
In that moment of quasi-isolation, Clarke allowed herself to really appreciate what she had lost so many years ago.
The quiet opening of the door pulled blue eyes from the sleeping figure and Clarke turned to see Root standing in the doorway.
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”
Clarke rolled her eyes but didn’t stop the smile that formed on her lips.
“I guess it doesn’t take anything less than torture and a trip to hell to get the great Dr. Griffin to get some rest, huh?”
The young doctor had a full-on grin at that point and she might have even laughed if she could.
Clarke and Root had a very special relationship that no one could really understand or explain. They were friends in the sense that they talked about anything and everything completely candidly and without concern about censorship to the point that no one knew when they were being serious and when they were fabricating.
“Tell Shaw…go home.”
Clarke had to work harder than she would have liked to get the words out, but it happened eventually.
“Now, Fawkesy, you know she won’t leave until she knows you’re okay.”
Clarke felt some of her defensiveness melt away at the nickname. Root decided one day that Clarke was like a phoenix, making her way through hell and burning in the deepest fires, only to emerge and grow stronger and stronger. Of course, the nickname had to come from Fawkes, Dumbledore’s phoenix that saved Harry and Ginny from the Chamber of Secrets.
She didn’t let the use of her nickname distract her, though.
“Don’t worry… ’m fine.”
“Why don’t you leave that decision with us? If it gets too tiring to worry about you, we’ll stop, okay?”
Clarke rolled her eyes, knowing that Root was essentially babying her but too tired to fight. The action caused a sharp pain to stab through her skull, though, and blue eyes quickly clenched shut.
Sympathetically, Root stepped closer and said softly, “Why don’t you go back to sleep? We’ll talk when you make it back to the land of the living once more.”
Clarke nodded groggily, her head falling limp against the pillow and eyes closing softly.
Root looked down at the young girl in the bed. Clarke was a character that walked through the walls of the hospital with an air of regality and control that automatically made everyone respect her. In that moment, however, the blonde doctor looked smaller than Root had ever seen her.
It really hit the nurse then just how young Clarke actually was. She always acted so well-adjusted and completely in control that it was easy to sometimes forget that she was really just a kid still.
Root leaned down and reached a hand out, gently pushing some hair back from Clarke’s face and appreciating the peaceful look she saw there. She carefully pressed a kiss to the younger girl’s forehead, hoping that it would provide her with some kind of comfort.
Seeing Clarke laying in that bed, the woman she loved curled up next to her, Root saw that maybe things were going to start getting better for the young blonde. A smile crossed the nurse’s face and she closed the door softly behind her, not wanting to disturb the new peace that had made its way into Clarke’s room.