Red Balloon

Above their heads bobbed a red balloon.

Therese held it fisted in her hands, and every so often, she would stop and smile up at it, a bright spot of colour against the green and blue of the early June sky. When she pulled on it, it dipped and swung, blowing slightly in the gentle breeze. And when it did that, Therese laughed, and tugged on it again.

Carol turned back from where she was walking ahead with Abby and smiled. Therese had been so happy today. They'd gone to Central Park for a picnic, and Carol held the picnic basket with the remnants of their lunch. Cold lemonade in bottles, and peanut butter sandwiches that Therese had made happily, a dab of peanut butter on her cheeks from where she sampled the contents of the jar. Abby had taken a tissue to wipe her face, but Therese had tossed her head away and ran into the bathroom to do it herself. She'd missed a spot, though; Carol had licked her finger and rubbed it across Therese's cheek, earning a grimace from her little girl.

"Mama, no," Therese had whined, slipping in her eagerness to get away and back to packing too many cookies in the basket. And then she'd frozen, looking at Carol as if she'd said something she shouldn't have. But Carol just smiled and kissed her right where the peanut butter had been.

"Go on, silly girl."

They'd sat on the grass in the sunshine by the Delacorte clock. Therese had giggled and clapped her hands every time the clock had struck the half-hour, each nursery rhyme different. She'd sat spellbound as the clock's animals had twirled in their dance, and Abby had laughed when Therese, forgetting herself for a moment, had crept up close with a bunch of children to get a better look. The vision of Therese, dressed in her light printed skirt and short-sleeved white blouse, her slight heels elevating her more above the shorts-and-shirted children than usual, was adorable, especially when her mouth opened a little in wonder and then she dimpled as the animals twirled, so close to her she could almost touch them.

"She's so adorable today," commented Abby. "And she's been so good. Usually she gets a bit fussy around this time."

"Well, we've taken it slow," replied Carol. "I don't think she's had much time to get too overwhelmed. And she loves Central Park so much."

"Who wouldn't? It's so nice here." Abby stretched out on the grass, her shoes kicked off, her eyes closed to the sunshine. Carol moved more into the shade, conscious of the sun on her skin. She'd noticed a few sunspots forming by her eyes; she needed to take care of that.

"It's been a lovely day."

Just then, the ice cream cart tinkled by, and Therese turned her head, her face becoming hopeful. She scampered away from the clock, over to Carol.

"Oh, Carol, I know it's close to dinner, but . . ."

Carol smiled at Therese, her brown hair shining in the sunshine, her blue-green eyes sparkling. "Oh, I don't see why not. If you bring me my purse, sweetheart, I'll see if I've got ten cents for you."

Abby sat up. "No need. Here you go, Therese." She gave Therese a quarter. "Get me one too, will you? Carol?"

"No, no," said Carol. She liked ice cream, but she wasn't in the mood for it just now.

Therese lit up. "Thank you, Abby!"

"Enjoy it, kiddo." They watched as Therese, light-footed as any of the children running towards the cart, jogged over to the ice cream man. Abby spoke again. "Do you feel like going out tonight?"

Carol sighed. "I'm not sure we ought to push our luck with the little one. She's in a pretty good mood now, but you know how she gets."

"The witching hour," Abby winked. "I know. Well, I'm sick of Chinese. Can I pick something up instead? Maybe something from the Czech place a few blocks up?"

"Maybe. I don't know. We'll figure it out later, Abby. It's not even five o'clock."

Therese came back with two dripping ice creams, bending her head to lick hers as fast as she could. "Hurry, Abby. It's dripping!"

Abby immediately took it and licked the drips away, and Therese settled next to Carol in the shade, licking busily, her hands starting to become sticky, and a little bit of ice cream dripping onto her skirt and chin. Carol laughed a little.

"Goodness, Therese. You never can eat ice cream without getting sticky, can you?" She smiled at her little girl, who smiled back, clearly not caring if she was sticky or not. Carol reached out and smoothed Therese's hair behind her ear. "It will definitely be bath night tonight."

Abby smiled, too, a little sardonically. "Carol's right, Therese; I don't think I've ever seen you eat ice cream without making a mess!"

"It's hard not to make a mess," protested Therese, frowning at Abby. "It's a messy food."

"It's good, anyway," Abby conceded, and she threw the end of her cone into a nearby trashcan. "Say, it's getting a bit chilly. Let's be on our way?"

Carol took a tissue and wiped Therese's face after carefully looking around to make sure that no one was watching. Central Park was quite a bit more anonymous than being on the street or at the Bronx Zoo, but Carol was careful not to draw any extra attention to themselves. Therese, when she was little, was much more free with her smiles, giggles, and running up to point at things and Carol found it adorable, but she was aware that people would look askance at a woman in her early 20s acting that way. She knew Therese felt a little stifled as a result, so it was nice today to see her truly enjoying their day out.

But though Carol did her best, and Therese scrubbed at her face and hands as well, they remained slightly sticky. "We need some water," grumbled Carol, but Therese finally jerked away and skipped up the pathway ahead of them, clearly done with her ministrations. Carol laughed, but she sighed in mock-exasperation, too.

Abby just chuckled. "She doesn't seem to mind, Carol. Let it go."

Carol took Abby's arm companionably and they watched as Therese stopped to watch some ducks crossing the path. There were several ducklings waddling along, and Therese turned to Carol. "Oh, aren't they sweet!"

"They are sweet," Carol agreed, but privately she thought Therese was sweeter, the way she crouched down to watch the ducks on the path. The ducks were so used to humans that they didn't even really move away from Therese, but Therese stayed stock-still until they'd passed. Then she stood up, but she looked a little tired, now, and Carol saw her clutch her front briefly before turning back to the two other women.

Carol let go of Abby and came up to Therese, gently smoothing Therese's hair off her warm forehead. "Is it time to go home, sweetheart?"

Therese nodded, and Carol could see she longed to cuddle close to Carol. But she held herself off and tried to smile. "I think so."

"Abigail?" Carol called over her shoulder, and Abby caught up to them.

"The little one about done in?"

"I'm not little," pouted Therese, but Carol shook her head at both of them, and turned back to Abby.

"Yes, I think it's time to go home for baths and some supper."

On the way, Carol had spotted the balloon man with his seemingly-hundreds of coloured balloons, all of them making a spectacle against the late-spring sky. Therese had wanted to photograph the balloon man several times, but she'd used up her roll of colour film on the cherry blossoms in May, and Carol hadn't gotten around to buying her another roll of it yet. She knew Therese would never buy herself any colour film; she considered it much too expensive for every day. But she noticed Therese looking longingly at the balloons and exchanged a fond look with Abby, realizing that Therese had probably not gotten to have many balloons of her very own.

"What colour would you like, Therese?"

"Oh, really?" Therese looked like someone had just given her a million dollars, and Abby chuckled.

"Only five cents for a balloon? That seems a small price to pay for those dimples, kiddo."

Therese flashed them at Abby before pointing to a red balloon. "That one, please."

If the balloon man noticed anything strange about the women, he didn't say anything. He just smiled at Therese and presented her with her balloon. "There you go, missy."

"Oh, thank you!" Therese looked absolutely delighted as she took the balloon, and Carol felt a warm glow. She loved being able to do little things like this for her shy, sweet, sunny little Therese. It was so easy to make her happy.

Now, they walked towards the apartment on Madison Avenue, Therese bobbing her balloon up and down, absentmindedly humming under her breath as she did so. Abby was starting to look tired and cranky, and she stalked ahead, every so often turning around to implore Carol and Therese to hurry up.

"My feet are killing me," complained Abby. "And you two slowpokes aren't helping."

Carol just rolled her eyes, but she turned to Therese. "Come on, darling. Let's step it up a bit, all right?"

Therese looked up, her eyes a little unfocused for a moment as she came out of her own world. "Oh. Are we almost home?"

"Haven't you been paying attention? Of course we are, you silly goose," said Abby, but her voice wasn't teasing. There was a slight hardness to it, and Therese's face fell a little. Carol frowned at Abby, who looked away.

They climbed the stairs, and as per usual for these little Saturday outings with Abby, it was like a switch flipped in Therese the minute they walked through the door. "Carol, I'm hungry," she whined. She clutched her front. "And I'm wet," she finished, a little more softly.

Carol stroked her hair. "I think we'll pop you right in the bath as soon as we get in, sweetie. And Abby mentioned the Czech place up the street. Are you still thinking of that, Abby?"

"I suppose. It seems like a long way to walk. I guess we can order Chinese again," Abby grumbled, and Carol turned to her.

"Well, if it's going to be tiresome for you, I certainly don't mind driving up there myself to get it. Can we call in the order?"

"I'm not sure." Abby looked grumpy. Carol shrugged and unlocked the apartment door. Abby rubbed a hand across her eyes and immediately disappeared into the kitchen, where she knew Carol kept the bourbon and glasses. Therese whimpered and turned to Carol after taking off her shoes.

"I need you."

"You do, do you?" Carol teased gently, taking Therese into her arms and kissing her forehead and cheeks. Therese snuggled into Carol, despite the warmth in the apartment, and Carol smiled.

"Are you ready for a bath, sweetheart?"

Therese grimaced, but she nodded. "I'm too hot," she whined, and Carol looked her over, checking for sunburn.

"The back of your neck is a little red, Therese. We should have had you put on a hat."

"Don't like hats," whimpered Therese, and then she rubbed her eyes. They had left going to the park until around two o'clock that day in hopes that Therese would nap a little bit, but Therese had been too excited and fiddling with one of her cameras that wasn't working properly. Too much sun, thought Carol, and probably a little too much sugar and overstimulation, were contributing to her mood now.

"Maybe before dinner you can have a little rest," suggested Carol gently, but Therese shook her head firmly, her lower lip out.

"No. No nap."

"Therese," Carol remonstrated, and Therese subsided a bit, but it was clear she was feeling a little out of control with how little she was right now. Just then, Abby came out of the kitchen, looking tired herself, but a little less grumpy now that she was sipping on a glass of bourbon and ice.

"What's all this?" asked Abby, and Therese turned away from her, into Carol. Carol shrugged a little, rubbing Therese's back.

"She's just tired. I'm going to run the bath for her."

Abby frowned at Therese. "Therese. You're not going to ruin a nice day, now?"

"I'm not ruining!" Therese rubbed her eyes again, and Carol clucked under her tongue, letting her voice slip into the special tone she used when Therese was feeling very little and very tired.

"Definitely a rest before dinner. Goodness, someone is a fussy little miss, isn't she?"

"Not fussy!" Therese's lower lip started to quiver, and Abby put her drink down, rolling her eyes.

"Go, Carol. Don't argue with her."

Carol just shrugged, though she frowned at Abby's tone. Therese could be very trying after a long day out and without a nap when she was this little. She gently let Therese go and walked into the bathroom to start the bath, giving up. Therese would be better after she had her bath and got into her pajamas and a clean diaper.

She started the water.

//~//

Therese knew she was being fussy. She still had a rational part of her brain that told her, in a very adult-like way, that she was being ridiculous. But her feet hurt from her new shoes, even though she loved those shoes and hadn't told Carol that they hurt her feet after awhile because they were so pretty, and anyway, she mostly wore them to work where she wasn't standing all day.

And that wasn't all that was wrong. She was hungry; her tummy growled audibly. The ice cream seemed a long time ago. And she was wet and hot and tired, her diaper pressing clammily against her skin. Therese felt wrung out and dirty. Her hands and face were still a little sticky, and she knew from the way Abby was looking at her that her face was probably a little dirty, too.

So, the rational part of her brain could just be quiet, she thought mutinously. She needed Carol. Therese pouted, her chin a little quivery, and turned away from Abby, who had settled down on the couch, the ice in her glass clinking.

"Where's my balloon?" she asked to no one in particular. She loved her red balloon. It was so pretty, bobbing so gracefully against the sky.

"Don't worry about your balloon just now, Therese. Why don't you go and get ready for your bath?" Abby's voice blew through the room. Therese frowned, her fists clenching. She didn't want a bath. She didn't want to get ready. She wanted Carol to change her and nurse her and make her feel better. And she wanted her pretty red balloon.

"No," she whined. "I want my balloon. Where is it?"

"You can have your balloon after your bath." Abby stood up, wincing a little as she took weight on her own sore feet. "Go on, now."

"No!" Therese stamped her foot, secretly a little surprised at herself. She'd never thrown a full-blown tantrum in front of Abby or Carol, for that matter. She rarely even stamped her foot. She hesitated, a little, as Abby looked surprised and then annoyed. No; Abby looked a little angry.

"Listen here, Therese. That's enough of that, now. Go on. Carol will be out in a moment and she'll expect to see you waiting for her. And frankly, I'm in no mood to put up with this, I'll tell you that."

"I don't care," said Therese, feeling utterly finished with Abby and her own capricious moods. Her voice rose in a whine. "I want my balloon and I'm going to find it, so you can just like it or lump it, Abby!"

Therese, afterwards, would never really know how Abby could have moved so fast. But Therese suddenly found herself standing right beside Abby, and as quick as a flash, she felt three sharp slaps, right over her diapered bottom.

It didn't hurt. It hadn't hurt at all, in fact. Therese's thick diapers, her plastic pants, and her girdle, plus her skirt, created a fairly substantial pad. But she stood stock-still for what seemed like an hour, though it was probably only ten or fifteen seconds. And then her vision went white, and she felt a big wave of shock and hurt wash over her.

Therese opened her mouth in a sob, but no sound came out. Her eyes blurred with a wash of tears that immediately started falling down her cheeks.

Abby's face was flushed, but she looked calm again. "Now. That's enough. Go into the bedroom."

Therese's legs trembled suddenly, and she sat down, right on the floor. Her diaper went hot as she wet herself. She tried to breathe, her chest heaving, her hands flying up to cover her face. And then suddenly, with a big breath, Therese found her voice.

"Mama! Mama!"

Carol came running out of the bathroom; her nyloned feet usually made no sound on the hardwood floor, but Therese heard her fast, heavy tread as she ran into the living room.

"Oh, baby. What happened?" Carol sounded utterly shocked and confused. She dropped down beside Therese, and Therese immediately turned and sobbed into Carol's shoulder. "Are you hurt? Oh, Therese, shh. Shh, sweetheart."

Abby's voice came from the couch. "She's all right."

Carol's voice, now, cold. "Well, she certainly doesn't look all right. Would someone mind explaining what the hell is going on here?"

"She - she - she - "

"Slow down, Therese. Big breaths. Good girl." Carol's soothing voice calmed Therese a little, and she clung to Carol for a moment, trying to get herself under control. Therese realized that her body was shaking; she hadn't had a panic attack in a little while. Carol held Therese close.

"That's it. Count to six. Deep breaths. Shhh, shh." Carol knew exactly how to deal with Therese in this state, and after a little while, Therese was calmer. She raised her red, tear-stained face from Carol's shoulder.

"Abby spanked me." Therese's voice sounded rusty and choked. She started to cry. "I just wanted my balloon and she wouldn't let me get it and I just wanted my balloon and then she spanked me, Mama. Three times."

Carol stiffened, and Therese drew back from her, a little alarmed. Carol rubbed Therese's back soothingly, but she sat, ramrod straight, and turned to Abby.

"Is this true?"

"Carol, come on. You know how she gets in these moods, and you never do anything about it. You let her whine and carry on. It was three harmless spanks, over her diaper. She probably didn't feel a thing."

"She didn't feel a thing," repeated Carol, her voice deadly calm. Therese stood up, suddenly. She didn't want to be here for this. She wrapped her arms around herself and bit her lower lip to stop it from shaking.

"Carol, I'm going to get ready for my bath," she said softly, and Carol nodded, a bit absently, never taking her eyes from Abby.

Therese left the room.

//~//

Carol stared at her best friend. Abby nonchalantly sat on the couch, her eyes fixed somewhere up in the corner of the room, her legs carelessly crossed. If you didn't know Abby, you'd think she didn't care about this conversation at all. But Carol knew that Abby knew she had really overstepped this time. Two spots of colour burned high on her cheekbones.

Carol rose, and sat in Therese's reddish pink rocking chair by the window. She lit a cigarette, taking a deep drag, trying to quell the rapid beating of her heart and the clenching of her stomach in anger. She blew out a mouthful of smoke, breathing once, twice. Then she spoke, her voice never rising above her usually modulated, soft tone.

"So. You decided that instead of walking away, or coming to get me, you'd hit Therese? For being fussy?"

"Carol. No. I didn't decide I'd do anything. She was fussing and being rude. I reacted, all right? I've seen you do the same -"

"No, you haven't seen me do the same. I've never laid a hand on Therese. Ever!" Carol heard her voice rising, and she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "You've never seen me spank Therese, Abby."

"Well, someone had to do it," said Abby recklessly, fastening her brown eyes on Carol's blue ones. "You don't discipline her. You don't do anything at all with her."

Carol didn't respond. She just took another drag of her cigarette and blew out some more smoke. Abby sipped from her drink. Then Carol spoke.

"This marks the very last time you will interfere in my relationship with Therese. This marks the last time you will overstep your bounds. You will not have anything to say about anything to do with Therese or what we do in this household again. Do I make myself clear?"

Abby put her drink down, her lips setting into a hard line. "That's how you want it, then?"

"Yes, Abby. That's how I want it. I want you to walk out of this house and not come back until you've decided you can be a friend and not an interfering busybody!" Carol's voice broke on the last word, but she continued. "I want you to understand that you are not to come between Therese and I, for any reason, at any time. I want you to understand that Therese and I will be the only ones to make any decisions about our relationship and you will have nothing, not anything, to say!"

Abby stood up, her chin quivering. "I say, Carol -"

"No. You don't say. You don't say anything. Not anymore. Maybe at one time, Abby, your opinion would have been welcome. God knows I've asked you enough about what to do. That was my mistake. That was my fault."

"It was your fault," said Abby, her voice starting to sound choked. "You involved me in this - "

"I didn't involve you in it insofar as you were allowed to discipline Therese! I didn't ask you to overstep, to stick your nose in!" Carol found her hand fastening around Abby's arm; she found herself inexorably forcing Abby towards the hallway, towards her shoes. Abby tried to jerk her arm free, but Carol knew her own strength. She knew Abby would be unable to move her grip even if she tried with all her might.

"Then why did you do it?" Abby stopped, standing in the doorway to the foyer. Carol stopped and let her go, suddenly feeling tired.

"Because you're my best friend. Because I love you, even if we're not together anymore. Because I valued your opinion."

Abby's face twisted, and Carol recognized the expression from the many fights they'd had at the end of their affair. Abby was trying not to cry.

"And now you don't?"

Carol took a deep breath. Her shoulders slumped. "No. Now I don't. Not when it comes to Therese. Not when it comes to how she feels."

They stood in silence for a few moments. Abby started to cry.

"All right. I'll go."

"Please." That was all Carol said, but Abby understood the finality in her tone. She slipped on her shoes and let herself out, but not before Carol heard a choked, stifled sob as Abby closed the door softly behind herself.

Carol wandered back into the living room, feeling an ache start up in her shoulders and neck. She rolled her shoulders, picking up the remnants of Abby's bourbon, and finished the alcohol in one gulp. Then she headed to the bedroom hallway.

The bathroom door was closed, and she could hear Therese sniffling on the other side. She knocked softly. "Therese?"

"Go away," came Therese's voice, choked and sad. There was some splashing. "Carol, just please go away."

Carol leaned her head against the door. "Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry . . ."

Therese sobbed; Carol heard it echo off the tile. There was more splashing. Then Therese said, again, more softly, "Carol, please?"

"All right, Therese."

Carol moved away from the door, feeling her eyes prick and a lump grow in her throat. Through the bedroom door, she saw Therese's pajamas laid out neatly - they were her polka-dotted blue pair, the ones she wore when she wasn't feeling well or needed extra comfort.

And at the sight of those pajamas, Carol buried her face in her hands.

//~//

An hour later, Carol heard Therese emerge from the bedroom. Therese's light footsteps echoed down the hallway into the kitchen, where Carol heard the fridge open and the clink of ceramic on the linoleum counter. Then she heard Therese sob.

Carol wasn't sure if she should go into the kitchen, but after a moment of hesitation, she got up and wandered in.

Therese was sitting on the counter, eating cold mashed potatoes out of a yellow ceramic bowl, her face tear-stained. When she looked up at Carol, her chin quivered, but she stuffed another mouthful into her mouth and averted her eyes.

Carol sat down at the kitchen table, looking down at her hands. No one spoke for a few moments. Then Carol said, "Those mashed potatoes can't be very good cold."

"They're all right," said Therese, her voice soft. She put her fork on the counter and gulped from a glass of milk. When she put the glass down, she had a milk mustache, which she wiped off with the back of her hand. Then she started to cry.

Carol felt her heartstrings tug. "Oh, sweetheart."

"Where were you?" Therese's voice was low, but so, so hurt, and Carol bit her own lip to stop from crying.

"I'm so sorry, Therese. I had no idea, I - "

"You never do! You never know; you never see. She only does it when you're out of the room. She'd never dare to say anything in front of you. You leave me there when I feel so little with her and she doesn't understand and she doesn't want to understand . . ." Therese wiped her tears impatiently from her cheeks, but more took their place almost immediately.

"Therese, I had no idea that she would go that far. I just don't know what to say. I should have been there. I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am."

Therese fell silent for a moment. Then she spoke, her voice more steady. "It didn't hurt."

"It hurt. It hurt you inside." Carol's voice broke. "And it hurt me."

Therese didn't say anything to that. "I don't want to see her ever again. Ever again, Carol."

"Oh, darling. She won't be coming around for awhile, I can tell you that."

"Ever again." Therese looked up at Carol, her face set. "You haven't even spanked me . . ."

"And I wouldn't spank you. Not ever." Carol stood up and walked over to Therese, but Therese turned away, her lip trembling.

"I can't."

Carol backed away, then. "All right, Therese."

"I'm going to sleep in the guest room. And then we'll see. I just don't know. I don't know. You weren't there," Therese murmured. "You weren't there."

Carol started to cry. She felt her face twist, into the ugly expression she hated, the one that reminded her of all the times she'd cried through her relationship with Harge. She buried her face in her hands, feeling her shoulders heave and her breath catch in her chest. Then she looked up through a haze of tears to see Therese looking at her with those clear eyes, her expression hurt and sympathetic.

"Have I lost you?" wept Carol.

Therese was silent for a long moment. Then she shook her head.

"No. No, you haven't lost me. I just need some time." She slipped down off the counter, though, and came over, putting her arms around Carol. "Shh. Don't cry."

Carol laughed a little through her tears at that; to hear her own words in Therese's mouth was so funny. Therese smiled a little, too. She squeezed Carol and Carol squeezed her back.

"I love you."

"I love you," whispered Therese. Then she left the room.

//~//

Carol knew they both slept fitfully that night; she wasn't used to not having Therese in the bed with her, and she knew Therese would wake up and need to be cuddled. A few times, she considered going into the guest room to curl up beside Therese, but she didn't. And Therese didn't come into the big bed that night, either.

The next morning, though, Therese was standing at the stove, making breakfast. When Carol came into the kitchen in her dressing gown, feeling like she hadn't slept in days, Therese smiled at her and slipped two eggs into the pan for her.

"Hi."

"Hi," muttered Carol. She poured herself a cup of coffee and Therese came up behind her, wrapping her arms around Carol. Carol turned and took Therese into her arms, breathing in Therese's sleepy morning scent. They embraced for a long time, and Carol found she didn't want to let Therese go. When Therese pulled away, her eyes were wet, and Carol realized hers were, too.

"Can you forgive me?" Carol's words were a whisper, but Therese kissed her lightly on the lips, and cupped Carol's cheeks with her cool little hands.

"I forgive you."

There was a sudden smell of scorching, and Therese swore under her breath and immediately ran to the stove. "I'm sorry, Carol. I think I've burnt breakfast."

Carol came up behind Therese to survey the charred remains of the eggs and bacon in the pan, and she started to laugh, wrapping her arms around Therese. "It doesn't matter. How about we go to the diner on the corner for breakfast today?"

Therese turned around and her eyes lit up. "Are you sure? Can we - "

"We can afford it, sweetheart." Carol kissed Therese's forehead, and Therese wriggled in pleasure.

"Let's go and get ready."

//~//

Therese yawned as they climbed up the stairs to the apartment after a morning out. It was a beautiful June day, just like yesterday had been, but Therese was starting to feel sleepy, and she turned to Carol as soon as they got to their floor.

"Carol, I need you."

"I need you, too." Carol squeezed Therese's hand and Therese dimpled a little bit. She reached for the door handle, but stopped in confusion as she saw a red balloon tied around the door handle, a letter slipped in the crack between the door and the jamb.

"What's this?"

"I don't know, but it looks like you've got two red balloons now," said Carol, and smiled at Therese. She plucked the letter from the door and handed it to Therese. "It's for you."

Both of them recognized Abby's handwriting, but Carol just handed the balloon to Therese and opened the door quietly, ushering Therese inside. They took off their shoes, and then Therese sat down in the chair beside the telephone table, slitting open the letter with the letter opener that lay in the drawer of the table. Carol wandered off to the bedroom and Therese read the letter.

Dear Therese,

I owe you an apology, a bigger one than I've probably ever owed, and that's saying something. I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm sorry I've overstepped. I'm sorry I keep overstepping. And I'm sorry I ever laid a hand on you.

I should have just given you the balloon in the first place, so here's another one so that you won't be missing yours again.

I'll keep away for awhile. But I am sorry, and I won't forget it this time.

Love,
Abby

Therese folded the letter and placed it on the table. Then she tugged on her new balloon, watching as it bobbed against the ceiling of the apartment, and she went to find Carol.

Carol looked exhausted. She sat on the bed, quietly reading, and looked up as Therese came in. "Well, what did Abigail have to say for herself?"

"Not much," replied Therese. "I don't think she'll be saying much for awhile. I think she's going to keep her distance."

"And she should," said Carol, and held out her arms for Therese, her lips setting into a hard line. Therese crawled into them, but just lay there for a few moments, thinking, until Carol stroked her cheek.

"Where are you?"

"I don't want her to stay away forever," said Therese, and Carol kissed her forehead.

"That's your choice, sweetheart. But you did say you didn't want to see her again."

"I don't, for now. But not forever."

Carol cuddled Therese for a few moments, and then Therese curled her body around Carol's, touching the buttons of Carol's blouse. "I missed you last night."

"I don't want you to sleep in the guest bed ever again," whispered Carol, and she unbuttoned her blouse. "I don't sleep well when you're not with me."

"It's not a very comfortable bed," Therese whispered back. She latched onto Carol's soft nipple as soon as Carol unhooked her bra, and nursed for a few moments in silence. Then she unlatched.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Carol looked concerned.

"I don't want Abby to stay away from you, either."

"Oh, Therese. Abby and I will work things out. But right now, she has to know that you are my only priority, and the most important person in my life. And you will always come first. I won't forget that again."

Therese snuggled into Carol, and relatched, nursing thoughtfully. But soon enough, her eyelids drooped, and Carol kissed her forehead.

"Are you still dry?"

Therese nodded, though it wasn't strictly true. Carol patted her bottom, but seemed to agree. She didn't insist on a diaper change. Therese sucked for awhile, and then her eyes closed.

"I love you," whispered Carol.

And Therese knew no more.