Hannah's Last Farewell
Hannah’s last Farewell
‘’Where are we going?’’
Grace laughed as she awkwardly tried to place one foot in front of the other. But it was rather hard when the only thing she saw was the inside of a bandana, and the only thing to guide her was flailing limbs that weren’t designed to help anyone steady themselves.
‘’Just a few more minutes’’ Hannah grinned towards the brown haired woman beside her.
It took everything she had not to kiss those smiling lips as they walked, but she knew that would cause a fall. And they couldn’t fall right now, because right here… right now… it had to be perfect.
‘’Almost there’’ Hannah laughed.
They came to a stop and Hannah removed the black cloth from Grace’s eyes.
‘’We’re here’’ she smiled while gazing into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.
She intertwined her fingers with Grace’s and leaned in for a kiss.
‘’For good measure’’ she murmured with her eyes closed.
Grace laughed as Hannah took a few steps backwards.
‘’What are-‘’
Grace didn’t get to finish her sentence because Hannah brought up her index finger and mustered a weak sentence.
‘’Wait for it’’ she whispered.
‘’What are we waiting for?’’ Grace grinned.
‘’That’’ Hannah said gazing into the sky. The first drop hit her hand and she lowered her gaze to Grace’s. Soon the rain started pouring down on them, and Hannah put her hand in her pocket. Her fingers played with the red velvet box as she smiled.
‘’Six years ago, we met. Right here. In this spot. Five years ago we spoke for the first time. Right here where we are standing. Three years ago we found each other again. Right here, on this sidewalk’’
She took out the little box and watched Grace’s eyes widen and start glistening in shock and somewhat of happiness. Still standing she kept on with her monologue.
‘’I know we have had our ups and downs, and I hope that we will have many more. Because that is what defines a relationship. The hardest and the easiest times. It makes us us. What we are. What we want to become’’
She got down on one knee and Grace covered her mouth with her hands to keep a minor scream inside.
‘’What are you doing?’’ she muffled into her hands.
‘’Hush. You’re killing my mojo here’’ Hannah grinned in mock offense while Grace nodded her head and let her arms fall down. The smile that was plastered on her face was one that Hannah hoped to see every day for the rest of her life.
Hannah opened the red velvet box and revealed a silver ring.
‘’So, Grace Anne Helbig, I am asking you… Right here, right now. Will you give me the chance to screw up and fix everything for the rest of our lives? Will you marry me?’’
Grace grabbed the collar of Hannah’s white shirt and drew her in for a tearful kiss. A happy kiss.
‘’You have to say something’’ Hannah smiled against Grace’s lips.
‘’What?’’ Grace’s said, already forgetting that she hadn’t said that one word she had been itching to say.
‘’You have to say yes or no’’ Hannah grinned as she pulled away.
Grace’s eyes were shining when she looked into them, and Hannah just couldn’t wait to see them every time she turned around.
‘’No’’ Grace muttered, and Hannah couldn’t quite tell if she was kidding or not. So she just muttered ‘’mkay’’ and closed the box to put it away.
‘’I’m just kidding, stupid’’ Grace smirked as she pulled Hannah closer for another kiss. She leaned back and looked into the shade of blue she decided was her favorite shade of her favorite color.
‘’Yes. Of course yes. It’s always been yes’’
***
Hannah sat with the glasses on her head and her book in her hands. The book. The one she had carried with her since she left at the age of 18.
She still felt like it described her life so perfectly. Azure Christian had just realized his lover, his girlfriend, wasn’t real. She was just a story Azure had made up in his mind to make up for the life he had lead. Lizzie was just a voice in Azure’s head that he had made into a person. Something that had clawed its way behind his ribs and taken up residency there.
Hannah didn’t think that was in line with her own life, but it was still her favorite book. Everything else about it was as if she had lived it herself.
‘’What have you got there?’’ Grace smiled as she crawled into the bed beside Hannah.
‘’Nothing special’’ Hannah murmured as she reached to put the book down on the night stand beside her.
Grace grabbed it out of her hands and opened it on a random page. Her eyes scurried the page and her mouth dropped.
‘’This is exactly like us’’ she whispered.
‘’I know’’ Hannah grinned.
Grace flipped through the pages and read randomly.
‘’Did you write this?’’ she asked, stunned.
Hannah laughed and shook her head.
‘’No, of course I didn’t. Look how worn out it is’’
Grace wasn’t convinced.
‘’Are you sure? Because this is us down to almost every last detail’’ she whispered confused.
‘’Yes, I’m sure. It has been my favorite book for years’’ Hannah laughed.
Grace opened the book on the page Hannah had been reading. Her brown eyes danced along the lines of the book as they started watering up. Grace realized why she was there, why she had always been there. She remembered things she couldn’t before, everything that happened when she wasn’t with Hannah.
Hannah wondered what she was thinking about. She scurried closer to her and took the book out of Grace’s hands.
‘’What is going on in that beautiful mind of yours?’’ she murmured.
Grace looked into Hannah’s eyes. Fright and confusion evident in the brown puddles.
‘’I’m not real’’ she whispered, eyes wide and staring at Hannah.
***
‘’I’m not real’’
Watery eyes gazed into Hannah’s own as the words were whispered between them. Hannah grabbed Grace’s upper arms and squeezed, desperately holding on to the one thing she loved the most.
‘’What are you talking about? Of course you are’’
Hannah was confused. Of course Grace was real. Of course she was. If not then Hannah couldn’t have held her. She couldn’t have kissed her or loved her. Of course she was real.
‘’No, listen to me. You have to let me go. I’m not real. None of this is real!’’
Hannah squeezed harder, trying to elicit some reaction caused by the pain, but none came.
‘’Don’t you feel that?’’ she asked with watery eyes.
‘’What?’’
Hannah gazed into the brown oceans before her and whispered.
‘’The pain’’
Grace looked to the side as tears started falling from her eyes.
‘’No, I don’t. I’m not real, remember?’’
Hannah let go of Grace’s arms and let them rest on her cheeks, drawing her head to face her. But Grace held her eyes closed.
‘’Your skin feels real’’
She leaned up to kiss trembling lips.
‘’Your lips feel real’’ she cried when she withdrew.
She brought one of Grace’s hands to her chest and pressed it to the skin.
‘’Your touch feels real’’
Holding the hand there she whispered:
‘’Our love is real’’
Grace opened her eyes. Hannah would have given so much to not see the pain in her eyes, the sadness radiating from them. But they were burned into her mind. Hannah had seen those eyes before. Not the deep brown filled with pain and sadness, but emerald ones. Emerald eyes that suddenly had turned blank.
Grace pulled her arm away from Hannah and shouted at her as her eyes went from ravishing brown oceans to emerald gemstones.
‘’No, listen! This… This is not real. I’m not real’’
Grace pushed Hannah away and cried.
‘’You have to let me go’’
Hannah grabbed Grace’s shoulders and drew her closer to her body. While tears ran down her cheeks she clung onto the denim jacket.
‘’It hurts too much’’
It was barely a whisper, but both heard it.
‘’You have to’’ Grace breathed sadly.
Hannah buried her face in brown hair. She felt it against her skin. It had to be real. She felt it too much for it not to be.
‘’No’’
Grace embraced her. She put her slim arms around her and clung on to her as if she was afraid she’d disappear. And Hannah could tell she was scared. Not just Grace, but herself too.
‘’Do you ever wonder why I appeared beside you on the pavement that day? That first day it was raining? I remember everything that happened before that moment, but I don’t… I don’t feel it. I was never real. I am just a story in your head! None of this is real’’
‘’No, I can’t let you go’’
Grace pulled back, still clinging on to Hannah’s sides.
‘’You have to remember’’
Hannah looked up into her eyes. She missed the oceans that used to ravish within them.
‘’Remember what?’’ Hannah croaked.
Grace let go with one of her arms and brought it up to push a stray blonde lock behind Hannah’s ear. She looked down into Hannah’s piercing blue orbs as the tears kept running.
‘’Who you were’’
Hannah trembled. Her body was giving in and she wanted to just sleep. Just sleep for days while holding on to Grace.
‘’Where?’’ she whispered ever so weakly.
‘’In the real world’’
Hannah put her arms on Grace’s shoulders, trying to somehow find the answers buried in Grace’s eyes.
‘’This is the real world’’
Hannah cried. She really cried as she said the words that she believed were real.
‘’No, it’s not’’
Grace was shaking her head, and the brown locks that were dancing in the air disappeared slowly.
Hannah watched Grace faint away, bit by bit, and all she could do was cling to the parts that were still there. Her hair was ghosting on her shoulders. Her eyes, before hazel-brown, now emerald fading to grey as Hannah looked at them. Her lips were losing their color as Hannah leaned in for a kiss.
‘’I can’t feel you anymore’’ she sighed, crying, when she withdrew.
‘’I know’’ Grace whispered towards her.
The breath that would have once made Hannah’s lips tingle was gone. The warmth was nowhere to be felt.
‘’Your eyes…’’ Hannah cried when gazing into the grey orbs.
‘’I know’’ Grace whispered as her colorless lips trembled.
‘’Don’t leave me’’ Hannah croaked to the fading facade of what once was her one true thing in the world. Her one safe and happy thing.
‘’I’m ready now. Don’t forget me’’ was the last whisper coming from Grace.
‘’I will find you’’ Hannah screamed as Grace disappeared in her arms.
‘’You are real’’ she shouted when Grace turned into mere air.
‘’You have to be’’
’Grace’’
***
‘’Grace’’
The whisper echoed in her head as she so desperately tried to hang on to the memory of her. The Stranger that wasn’t a stranger anymore.
‘’What was that?’’
She heard a voice she had never heard before seep into her mind. A woman’s voice. At first it was just the one voice, but then it was another.
‘’What?’’
A low voice, coming from a man no doubt, was just as faintly whispering in her head.
‘’A whisper. From… her’’ the woman said, just as weakly as the last time.
‘’Say something again. Anything’’
Hannah felt something on her hand. Warmth. Cold. Metal. Was it fingers? A hand on her own? Was it Grace’s?
She looked down at it, but nothing was there. Strange. But stranger things had happened.
She tried to find the source of the sounds, but all she could see was the empty bedroom, fading as Grace had.
‘’No! No, no, no, no. This can’t happen’’ she desperately cried.
But Grace’s bedroom, their bedroom, faded into the darkness and Hannah closed her eyes.
‘’Open your eyes, love’’ the man whispered.
And so she did.
Hannah opened her eyes to see… Nothing. Everything was so light she couldn’t differ between the sun and a chair.
But then faces came into focus. Tired, old faces with renewed hope evident in their eyes.
She turned her head slowly. It was as if she couldn’t go faster. As if her body was weaker than just a moment ago.
It wasn’t their bedroom anymore. It was unknown territory. Red and black walls surrounding her. A night stand in her eyesight, filled with old ‘’get well’’ cards. Pictures of a little girl paraded the walls, and beside the night stand there was a guitar. And lying behind the ‘get well’ cards was a book. She recognized it at once. Behind my ribs.
Where am I? Where’s Grace?
She turned to face the people hanging over her bed again. Their eyes were watery, and they had tears streaming down their faces. Who were they? Why were they crying over her?
The woman threw herself on Hannah and hugged her close.
‘’Oh, good God, he has returned you to us’’ she cried.
Hannah didn’t know what to do, so she just laid there motionless. Why was this woman hugging her and talking about God?
‘’The Lord has been merciful’’ the man whispered as he grabbed Hannah’s hand and the woman pulled away from her.
Hannah looked up at the man. His emerald eyes shone with hope and love, as did the woman’s blue ones.
She coughed when she tried to speak, but she had to get the questions out.
‘’Excuse me, but who are you people?’’ she asked, her voice raspy.
‘’And where is Grace?’’ she added, looking from one face to another.
‘’What happened?’’ she whispered, mostly to herself.
She could see the momentary happiness fade away from their eyes. The hope and faith that had just surged through them was gone.
‘’You don’t remember?’’ the woman muttered sadly.
‘’You and your brother went out’’ the man said with new tears in his eyes.
‘’Drew’’ Hannah whispered.
She didn’t remember the people in front of her, but she remembered Drew. How could she forget him? His emerald eyes and playful grin always plastered on his face.
Hannah smiled before she remembered how those eyes had looked in the end.
‘’Yeah’’ the man whispered, choking slightly on the word.
Hannah looked at her hand. She remembered that hand trying to reach out to his blank eyes, and while looking at it she saw something attached to it. A hospital band, the ones with the patient’s name, saying ‘Maraiah Dewight’.
Maraiah Dewight?
Why would they name her Maraiah Dewight? Her name was Hannah Hart.
‘’You were attacked’’
The man tore her mind back to the conversation at hand.
‘’He… He was gone when they found you’’ the woman mustered out with a deep exhale.
‘’And you… You were unconscious. The doctors told us you would never regain consciousness, but we kept faith’’ the man smiled.
‘’We knew the Lord would bring you back to us’’ the woman added.
Hannah looked from one face to another, trying to figure out where they came into the equation. Did they mean… that they were her parents? No, they couldn’t be. They couldn’t!
‘’Though he didn’t. He didn’t bring back your Maria Dewhitt or whatever’’ Hannah muttered, her voice raspy from apparently not using it for a while.
She could tell it was the wrong thing to say by the new tears forming mixed with confusion in their eyes.
‘’My name is Hannah Hart’’ she said, her voice stern. But then she remembered there was still one question burning a hole in her mind.
‘’And where is my fiancée?
‘’Your… fiancée?’’ the woman before Hannah asked, uncertainty dancing in her voice.
‘’My fiancée’’
‘’Grace’’