Bitch Fight
Hawk did not know what to say or do. Roy Cohn had just walked in, eyes puffy with sleep, but splendidly dressed as always. The lawyer had brazenly claimed Miss Addison’s seat and promised he’d order a round for everyone at the table. When Mary winked at him, Hawk’s heart sank. If she took a liking to Cohn, all would be lost.
Frankie went to stand beside Roy, holding a note pad. ‘Nice to have you back, honey cakes,’ the waiter in drag remarked. ‘What are you having? The usual? Fine, I’ll sure as hell pee in your glass before I serve it.’
Unoffended, Roy ordered himself a Manhattan and refills of the drinks the other people at the table were having. Soon everybody was sipping peacefully. Now it dawned on Hawk. Roy had come down to the Cozy to have a good time and to forget about the long-lost David Schine.
Miss Addison and her suitor had been absent from the dancefloor for a while, but they were back now, waltzing slowly. The man was clearly embarrassed at her affection, but he shuffled on, with her feet on his huge shoes.
Roy lit a cigarette and hummed along to the tune, but then he froze. His happy face turned sad in a split second. ‘What’s wrong?’ Hawk asked.
‘Do I need to explain?’ Roy sniveled, pointing at the dancing couple. Tears started gushing from his eyes. ‘Boo-hoo-hoo…! Why, I ask you, why…? Boo-hoo-hoo!!’
Stormé sang louder now to cover the noise he made. It did not work. Skippy drew from his cigarette and stared at the ceiling. Then he straightened his shoulders, eyed Roy and said: ‘Please, you must close the chapter of the past and look forward. Schine has found someone else. So will you, if you open your heart to it.’
Sweet Skippy, Hawk thought, he’s got a heart of gold, I love him so much…oh, Christ, what’s happening now?
Mary had flown from her seat and scooted across the dancefloor, brandishing her umbrella like a spear. Before Hawk could think of how to stop her, she had jumped onto Miss Addison’s back. ‘Let go of Mr. Schine, you bitch!’ she cried at the girl. Miss Addison bent over, trying to shake Mary off, but Mary now poked her with her umbrella and shrieked like a woman possessed. Schine shuffled away, obviously relieved that the two women did not pay him any attention. They crashed to the floor. Mary was on top of Miss Addison now and pulling her hair. ‘Let me go!’ the victim wailed, kicking her feet. ‘Fine, fine, I’ll confess! I left a remark in a phone booth…’
‘I just read it, I recognized your handwriting,’ Mary snapped. ‘You filthy, useless…’
Skippy got up from his chair. ‘Don’t!’ Hawk cried, but it was too late, because now Skippy dashed over to the crime scene and started pulling Mary off Miss Addison by the belt of her gown. She turned around and smiled at him. He always had a calming effect on her. They talked, too softly for Hawk to hear, especially since some other loud voices rang out.
‘Goddammit, who clogged up the toilet in the ladies’?’ Frankie snarled at no one in particular. ‘Again?’
‘Boo-hoo-hoo!’ Roy cried, because now David Schine was standing before him, smiling and holding out his hands.
Hawk lit a cigarette, winked at Skippy and Mary as they walked back to the table arm in arm, and felt Lucy’s kiss on his cheek. The band started playing again. The musicians hated Roy Cohn, but they were good sports, because they gave him and Schine ‘For they are jolly good fellows.’
And Roy boo-hooed on, in his prodigal lover’s arms, not shedding tears of sadness, but of pure joy.