For a minute or two depending on your reading speed, you're stuck with me telling you how shit goes down and I save you from over-sharing your amnesiac ass on either somewhere in Steelport, the Broken Shillelagh Ship or Hell:
“That ratchet bitch is gettin turnt for digital real. Hashtag Misogynist Slut-shame,” ugh, it tasted bad coming out as bad as it was saying it aloud, what happened to an old-fashioned, “Tanya fucked with the wrong Saint.”
Okay, I definitely Won't be talking like That again. We'll stick to canon as Closely (not really) as possible (no, the writer might cut a few corners, but what the hell, it's a fiction dreamed up by a random-assed fan).
PWP? I know, I know. I'm cruising around Matt Miller's nightmare, enacting a pair-fantasy with your Player_Customized_Character.file – could've been avoided.
*Spoilers, need I say more?
Canon says that my dearly departed Aisha is my one and only, but canon according to Saint's Row IV Re-Elected (Not on my standalone Co-Op with Kinsey in Gat Out of Hell) has me as both an unlockable speed-dial sociopath, but also as a potential love interest.
A heartfelt speech revealing your true feelings for me is....well....flattering.
Press (□) or (Y or X) to 'Romance Johnny Gat'
The pervert writing this NC-17 yelled, “Johnny, you're the one for me!”
Again, very flattered and a little creeped out, but not turned off completely.
Don't get too naughty with the 'Romance' button, boss, you'll wear me out before the big finale.
Now for the set of rules:
1. Your Customizable Character is either predominantly Male or Female...still working on the 'Ladyboy' mod.
2. The writer is Heavily assuming that you have an attractive Customizable Character...or you think he/she is.
3. My opinion of your Customizable Character will vary through the different situations/scenarios/sexes/sexuality.
4. The writer...Fan has a hard time writing in Fourth-Person so will instead stick to First-Person POV throughout.
5. Insert your Customizable Character as the First-Person.
6. Ride this motherfucker hard in the comments.
7. Seriously, don't be shy.
8. I might bite.
9. I might fight.
10. I might bring up my ex several times, or you'll feel inadequate towards her.
11. It's okay.
The Setup:
The Series will be arranged from Scenario, and each Scenario will have one Introduction with me (or the other Males/Females of Saint's Row VI) as narrator, two chapters duly labeled Straight Male or Straight Female, Bi-Male or Bi-Female, Gay or Lesbian or Pan. (I mean your sexuality, it makes for some pretty different outcomes and dialogue. Don't you think, boss?)
If the writer's being a lazy little shit, there'll only be two (short) chapters.
Warnings
Turn thine eyes away, child, we both know this is life-scarring shit.
I'll be scarred for Damn sure.
Kinsey...not so much, she's got balls.