Sailorstuck! Collision Of Fates

"How dare you interrupt me!"

You, John, and the corpse are all looking for the source when the long figure steps into the moonlight from one of the high windows, a shadow casting over the whole room. He's suited up in a classy black tux, complete with a top hat and cape (hot damn), and a tinted, pointed visor set over his eyes while he dangles an open pocket-watch from his fingers as he speaks, musing, "A dark, vile creature such as you," the timepiece snaps shut, the sound booming in the all-too quiet room, "Shouldn't even be here to begin with."

This masked stranger leaps down from the window, the cape fans out behind him, spreading like wings. Makes a smooth, graceful landing onto the floor tile. The corpse tries it's best to get unstuck from the tiny pin, black oozing out of the wound with every move. The newcomer saunters towards you, slowly, as if he has all the time in the world. He extends a hand to you, looking and acting every bit like all the human fairy tale prince's you can think of. Even with half his face covered, he's-- ridiculously --pretty. From the bright, platinum hair beneath his hat to the long length of his figure. He makes you think of those flawless celebrity photos you always see on the back of Nepeta's magazine. You're so completely enthralled within this moment, in fact, you think you might be coming to understand what love at first sight really is--

Right up until he opens his mouth.

"I'd say now's not the time for a ragegasm, but wow do you have a set of lungs. You take choir or something? 'Cause I think we'd make a lovely duet together. Tuxedo Shades, at your service, gorgeous." He almost purrs, and you swear if you could see the rest of his face, he'd be winking. Talk about cheesy. (The blatant flirting, if it could even be called that, in that sentence is overpoweringly bad, he must have felt really good and bold about that one.)

Oh, would you look at that, your head is hurting, "A-are you seriously trying to flirt right now? Because this is sooo the perfect time! Consider me completely wooed. Congratulations. And who let you use a stupid name like that?" You take the offered hand anyway and haul yourself up, completely off-put. God, of all the people you've met today, of the roulette of anybody who would come to your rescue, it had to be this guy. Takes the whole damn cake (and acts like he smugly, gladly, perversely made out with it too).

"Whoa, you're quite the pessimist, aren't you?"

"Gee, how could you tell? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly having the best fucking time here. So if you could kindly--"

He lunges swiftly in your direction, you flinch. But his hand swings out and away from you, sending another, larger needle (there's a knob on the end, a cane?) darting out from within his cape, skewering the corpse monster through the chest this time. Embedded all the way to the floor. It makes an ugly, blood-curdling shriek as it gripes at the protruding rod.

"No time for that! Hurry and strike while it's down!"

"With what!!?"

John decides to reappear, body low to the ground, "Sailor Cancer, get your tiara and yell 'Carcino Tiara Action', quickly!"

"Fuck no, I'm not doing that! I want to go home!"

"Hurry up and just throw the dang tiara!

"WHY SHOULD I!!?"

"Just fucking do it!! Then you can go home, you big baby!"

"FINE, YOU DEMANDING ASSWIT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. THIS IS SO STUPID!!!"

But you're going to try it anyway, aren't you?

"Carcino...," There's a strange welling up of some new force inside of you, just like when you transformed. It fills you up, makes it feel like there's too much of whatever is about to brim up and spill over, like you're going to burst, again. You don't even know what words are falling from your mouth, "TiaraAction!"

And then your circlet is spinning off from your hand, shining bright enough to hurt your eyes, swerving awkwardly. John is whining at you, both paws on his face, moaning, "Ohmigod, you didn't tell me your aim was so weak-sauce." The Tuxedo guy has a stupidly crooked smile underneath his hand, daring to laugh.

"Do you think I've ever done this before!? How am I supposed to fucking know what to do!!?" With that, there's a momentary flash. That bright red string you imagine makes a line between the monster and your tiara-- oh god, you've gone and claimed the tiara. As you focus on the string, the connection felt throughout your whole body, it's then that the tiara curves rigid, homing straight and fast, leaving behind a trail of glowing red, to the corpse.

"N-no-!! EeuuuaaaAAAGGHHH!!!"

As if possible, it glows even brighter as it cuts through the monster. It screams grow louder and louder until it just stops, it's whole body blackening, disintegrating into ash, the particles scattering to nowhere and disappearing altogether. There's a little plink as something small hits the floor, and John darts forward to retrieve whatever it is. The dust dissolves into the air, the wind picking up randomly high and blowing it away.

A release of something is felt, and the dread-strung atmosphere of the shop dies away, returning to normal, or somewhat normal, with all the bodies still on the floor. You yourself let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, "Whoa..."

"Good job, Sailor Cancer~!"

"...Er, thanks...?"

Tuxedo Shades (that is honestly the stupidest name for anybody, why would anyone call themselves that? He must be really confident) takes your wrist and brings your hand up to his mouth and places a kiss on your knuckles. Again, this would have been totally romantic if you had never heard him speak.

"I will remember this time that we've spent together--"

"I literally just met you like, not even five minutes ago."

"--Until the next night our stars align, farewell!!"

He leaves the same way he came; out the window. (That was....corny. Seriously, where have you met him before?)

However much you tell your pusher to calm the fuck down, because what the fuck even, there's no reason to be doing this, it decides that right now is the time to force itself through your abdominal cavity. Neither have you ever felt more ticked off than right now. This whole day might as well have just gone right out the fucking window, too. You just want to go home, take the biggest sleeping pill you can find, if you have any, and pass the fuck out. That is all you want at this point. Fuck school.

"That wasn't too bad for your first time Karkat!" John chirps from the floor.

"Nope, that's it. I've had enough. I, am going home. Never again. I'm never doing this again, find someone else, just go back to whatever fucking hell dimension you came from and leave me alone," you turn on your heel and make for the door, past the sea of comatose bodies. Your hands start pulling at your clothes, trying to remove yourself from the costume, "Here, take this-- stupid, damn-- hey!! What the hell, it's stuck!?" 

John, the asshole, laughs. Nervously, too, like he doesn't know what to do next (you swear, you will fucking drown him if he doesn't change you back), "Eheh, well, y'see...so you can't actually take it off like that. Just, um--"

At that moment, Equius comes bursting in, doors banging behind him, looking every bit as disheveled and panicked and afraid. You're surprised that it even took this long for him to get here, though it does look like he's been running. John ushers you as quickly as he can around a wall ("Quick, quick! Hide!"), keeping you out of sight. Equius searches frantically until he finally see's Nepeta's slumped form, and dashes straight to her side. Shit, you didn't even check to see if she was still breathing! Some friend you are.

"Nepeta!" His hands are quick to halt as he's about to pick her up (one of the things you will always admire about Equius no matter what is how careful he is, is the sheer amount of control he forces into all of his being.), becoming slower, more gentle as his giant hands cradle her body, fretting over her state. Checks for a pulse or beat as carefully as he can. His voice trembles.

"Hey, Nepeta. N-now is not the time for a-a...catnap...wake up...y-you know that I can't...I-I can't..."

Equius always speaks with a soft, clear and level volume, but his sad, desperate whispers are almost deafening amongst the silence.

You both sigh with the utmost relief when there is a small cough and wheeze for air, Nepeta stirring.

"...nngh...Equius..? 'S you?"

"Nepeta!!"

From where you are, you see her sit up, hissing softly as she grimaces from pain. Equius is frantically searching for wounds.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Mm...my wrist...and my neck....wasn't anybody else here...?"

"What? What do you mean?"

She's quiet before her arms stretch up,"...Can you take me home? I'll tell you later. I don't want to be in this place anymore."

"Yes, right," Equius obliges, easily lifts her up and heads for the door. Clears his throat to say, "But just know that you will receive a full scolding. After treatment, of course."

"Aww, no..."

As soon as they're out of sight, John has the fucking balls to turn to you and says, "Aren't you glad you accepted?"

"Hell no. I didn't accept this, you forced this 'job' on me. This isn't even a job, this is some child's hero fantasy that is actually happening. And how do I turn back, anyhow?"

"D'ya wanna go home first? Y'know, so you're not stranded out in the public in your jammies?"

He does have a point there. The mixed community means that some part of your town is nocturnal, and anybody who happens to be up now will definitely see you. 

"Okay, so I'm going home then," you swivel straight for the door, but John pushes against your legs.

"Why walk when you can fly?"

"BECAUSE YOU WILL DROP ME, YOU ASS!!!"

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✮☆★♋★☆✮

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You make your escape to the roof a bit too eagerly. For some reason your heart feels like it trying to ba-ba-ba-ba-bump-beat it's way out (you pretty sure you can think of some sweet words to put to that), however you'd appreciate it so very much if it stayed right where the fuck it is.

You might be used to huge crowds, but damn that was tough with just one person-- one cute person, wait what --and a shambling corpse. Does the monster count? Probably not.

The night is still young, no need to hurry home like a teen out after curfew, as technically correct as that is. What's the worse that could happen?

"What indeed, coolkid."

As you turn, willing your face to remain as calm as possible and not shit-scared because you're totally not scared. Who's scared? Not you, you are the epitome of cool, calm, and collected. You are the stoic trope, it is you. 

"Ayy, Vig," you call out, finger-guns at the ready, "You usin' mind-reading powers on me? Oh, the betrayal of mine headspace, *faint*."

"More like, you were speaking out loud to yourself and I didn't want you to feel bad when you turned around. And who is the mentioned 'cute person'? I would very much like to know about this cute person, they sound like they gave you quite a time."

You do your best forlorn sigh and the damn greatest imitation of your sister ever, "Alas, I was not privy to that information. Maybe when our fates next intertwine?"

She snorts, swings her cane over her shoulders, "Sure thing, Mr. Strawberry Licorice, don't hurt your head there, using suchbig words," and then she's out, jumping backward and landing soundlessly on the fire escape of someone's apartment. The Vigilant's form fades into colors, and you decide it's time to make your own way home.

You jump too.

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✮☆★♋★☆✮

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"Hmm~.... well this is quite the development. There's more pieces on the field now. What do you think?"

".....Too early to really tell. Yes, there are more pieces, but what do they do? What do they bring? Also, I don't like how you've immediately thought it to similar to a game."

"Feh, you say that as if you don't think of it like that usually. Don't you deny it either, I know you."

"Pfff, if that's true then I'd be a queen and you'd be my pawn."

"Hey! Not even a knight!?" They feign hurt and go back to snickering,"'Sides, you're more of a Knight yourself, y'know."

"Mm, I suppose that makes you my Bard? Singing the praises and tales of my supposed renowned fame and all that?" A smile tugs at the corner of your lips, thoughts boil in your head. Certainly, there are more pieces, but what to do with them? There's honestly a bit more than you were expecting, but as long as nothing has been put out of motion there's no need to interfere...even though you'd like to play this game too (how silly, to call this a game, when people's lives, or re-lives are at stake, your own honor is at stake).

They sidle just a bit closer than you're used to, the almost warmth from their body makes you shiver, "I'd sing your praise all day, but I'm more interested in making you sing."

"That was the dumbest one-liner I've ever heard, and I can't think of anything else that would have topped it," You stand and they follow example, making to leave, "C'mon, let's get gone. We don't need to be revealed yet."

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✮☆★♋★☆✮

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Before you know it, you're actually quite safe and sound just beside your window, John hovering at the sill (fucking weird). He leans in with paws touching down, "Alright, ready? Ready to learn this awesome ancient technique?"

"Listen, shitty-cat--"

"Rude!!"

"Cut to the chase."

"Okay, okay! Jeez, alright....sooo," he nods at the shiny brooch, "That, you cannot just wrench it off all willy-nilly. It's so simple too, all you gotta do is want to change back--"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING JOKE RIGHT NOW."

"--Or just, y'know, run out of energy, but that takes too long sometimes, so what'll it be~?"

You groan, plopping down onto your platform. If you think about it, you do feel like you could stay up all freaking night like you've been on a caffeine binge. Then again, tomorrow looms overhead like some great, foreboding task because school is a thing that you need to do.

"Fine. So what do I need to do, some 'focus my energy' shit like that or...?" You shouldn't sound so skeptical considering your current situation, but you can't help it. If you wake up tomorrow, and it turns out that all of this is really real...you're not sure what you're going to do.

John snorts, "When you put it that way, then yeah, that's exactly what you're gonna do. Focus your energies, oh great warrior, just the way your sensei taught you, honorable one," he waves his paws and makes some stupid 'woOoOoh~' noises. Foolishness at it's finest, ladies and gentlemen. Now featuring magical kittens.

Still, won't hurt to give it a try.

You've seen enough action flicks with this trope to mimic what you imagine you're supposed to do. You sit up a little straighter and roll out your shoulders. Set your feet on the ground and shut your eyes, hands balled into fists at your sides. It feels a little dumb to be telling yourself to 'clear your mind', but there isn't anything else you can think of to keep your head on task. Just keep repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating.....

......You feel like you've fallen over, thankfully landed on something soft. So tired....

("Ehheehee, see you later, Karkat~!")

.....You don't dream of anything. At least this time.

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✮☆★♋★☆✮

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Nepeta is extremely talkative the next morning, absolutely gushing, "I had the most wonderful dream~!! A beautiful Warrior of Justice appeared and saved me from a monster~!" It almost makes the pounding headache worse, but at least she's okay.

"Ooh, me too!"

"You had the same dream, too!?

"Wow, thoundth like you guyth had thome kind of night," you hear Sollux say over his monitor.

"Noo, it really happened!!"

"Hey, not thaying it didn't, it'th all over the fucking newth. 'Epidemic Break-out? Nearly 50 People Found Unconscious In Specialty Store. Proprietor Currently Nowhere To Be Found'. Something happened."

Something happened, alright. You happened and fixed all that shit that went down. That's what happened. (Gooooodd, you're so tired.)

"Karkitty! Are you listening??"

Very begrudgingly and reluctantly, you lift your head and glare groggily at her,".....You know what, I had the shittiest sleep last night. Absolutely terrible. Please, can you just shut up for a bit?"

You thunk your head back down on your desk, regretting it instantly as you cringe with the new rise of pain in your head.

The weight of the bracelet hangs heavily as you've clasped it to a thin chain around your neck, just beneath your uniform, and you feel the sensation of piercing blue eyes watching you.