Disappearing Act (Part 1)
The waitress set two cups of coffee in front of the Scully sisters. Dana felt more tired than she ever had before, a different kind of tired. Everything felt so far away: the chipped white mug, her sister’s caring eyes, the previous hour and the alcohol in her system.
“Dana, you don’t look so good.” Melissa said. The tone of her voice was worried.
“I just need to sober up, I think. I’ll be okay.” Scully stirred her coffee with a tiny spoon, mixing in three packets of sugar. It was almost one in the morning. She felt her phone buzzing with yet another call from Monica, but she didn’t pick up.
Her eyes were fixed on the swirling vortex of liquid the spoon created as she kept stirring, and it was almost peaceful for a moment.
“Dana, you know I will support you endlessly. I am here for you forever. But something is very obviously wrong.”
They both took their first sip of coffee. It was strong and almost too hot. The sugar hadn’t dissolved completely yet, leaving it bitter. Dana squeezed her eyes together, forcing the hot liquid down. She gathered up her courage, knowing honestly was the only way out of the situation.
“It’s Monica. I just couldn’t kiss her and pretend everything was fine, knowing how close we are to--” she inhaled sharply. “To the end.”
Melissa nodded. Dana had confirmed her already strong suspicions that she letting her on to everything she was feeling. Monica had damaged her, as much as she didn’t want to admit it. Dana had never been able to hide her emotions, she bottled them up but acted strangely until someone caught on. Then she would release her pain like a waterfall to everyone close enough to listen. She was doing that now.
“I just don’t understand how she can pretend everything is fine, as if nothing has changed. It’s like she can pretend she’s still a junior and we’ve still got a year left, that this summer is just another summer of sunburns and late nights and she’s not leaving.”
Dana rested her head on crossed arms and let out a sob. “Fuck, she’s leaving.”
She didn’t want to admit it to herself. She’d been hiding it behind thin curtains for months, refusing to accept that her first love was leaving, going away, that she didn’t care about her enough to stay.
And Monica kept saying this wasn’t about her, this was about her future and making hard decisions but Scully couldn’t comprehend it. Maybe she sounded selfish, she acknowledged that, but she’d been chasing Monica all these years, and now she was leaving? Monica was the one being selfish.
Dana loved her, and that didn’t matter now, apparently. She was going away to something better, and leaving her behind. Scully would give everything up for her, and Monica wouldn't?
It was a new notion to her.
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Fox Mulder, son of the believer and denier of the skeptic, fell asleep on cold tile with tear streaks across his face. When he woke up, he almost expected Samantha to come barging in, shouting at him that he’d been in there for too long and it was about time for him to come out and let her get in the shower.
But she didn’t. Then the pain was all fresh and ugly, and Mulder felt like he was drowning all over again in anger and regret and blame. Oh Samantha. Please come home.
It was 11:30. He remembered coming into the bathroom, he remembered the breakdown, but he couldn’t understand why no one had come to check on him. Oh.
He’d locked the door. A faint memory drifted in the back of his mind of Mom banging on the door, calling him “Fox,” asking him to come out. Mulder had refused, not wanting to address either of them.
Apparently, after some time they had given up on trying to retrieve him. Probably had something better to do. Mulder thought to himself. Like type up another useless article on the existence of extraterrestrials and how they stole my kid from right out under me.
Every hateful thought he could think passed through Mulder’s head. He was angry and they were selfish. He was angry because they were selfish.
He reached one hand up onto the counter to steady himself. Every muscle in this body seemed to ache, as if he’d been in the freezer all night and now his body was thawing. His head thumped too, a constant pulse. When Mulder looked in the mirror, his eyes were red and his hair was a mess. Everything felt like absolute shit.
Bill and Teena Mulder were sitting on opposite arm chairs, both with their arms crossed, in deep conversation. Sparks of anger exploded in Mulder’s head, and he forced himself to calm down. God, how he wanted to scream at them. He couldn’t even justify it anymore. He just wanted someone to blame.
“Fox.” Teena stood, reaching her arms out to ask for a hug. “We were so worried about you.”
“I’m fine.” Mulder was definitely not fine, but he had no want to even speak to his parents for any other reason other than to figure out if there were any new developments.
“The town asked us to speak at the meeting for Abduction Season and we were just trying to decide what to say.”
Oh.Oh. Mulder felt like bone-dry pine needles covered in lighter fuel in a campfire, fire spreading through him faster than he could comprehend.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
He was not in his body anymore. The spirit of rage had possessed him. Samantha was missing and they were just another abduction family speaking so the town could jack off to the idea of another frequent abduction season, kids and parents disappearing everywhere, whole families and communities being destroyed and then being spoke about as if it was a story, not something that had actually happened.
Mulder had always hated that about Federal. And now it was happening to him? It was happening to his family, and they were just going to pretend that Samantha was just a random stranger they would see in the local paper. She could be dead! And they cared about the fucking conference?
“Excuse me, son?” Bill stood, barely towering over his boy but still holding a commanding presence.
“Your daughter is missing. Your only daughter is missing and you’re discussing what to say at the Abduction Season panel? Is that really all you care about?”
“Fox--” Teena started, but Mulder was on a roll now, vengeful and striking out.
“No. No excuses. I’m going to see Frohike and the others, if you need anything, you know how to contact me.”
He stormed out the door without another word, and his parents were dumbfounded.