Grumpy boo

When Christen walked into the slightly empty park, Tobin already was waiting for her at the small bench facing the pond.

“Hey, Chris. Thanks for agreeing to see me.” Tobin started.

Christen just nodded her head. Looking down on 2 coffees cup, Christen just raised her eyebrows.

“Oh..yeah. I’ve ordered coffee for you. Hope you don’t mind.”

Christen just shook her head while taking the seat beside Tobin. “I don’t plan to be here long. Just say what you need to say.”

“Oh..ok. Erm..well I just want to start by telling you that I’ve miss you. I’ve missed us.”

“Why?” Christen suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“You didn’t even bother about me when you were with your girlfriend. So why now?” Christen asked again.

“That’s…I just want to make clear that being with her doesn’t mean that I forget about you. But....”

Christen put her hand up to stop the midfielder halfway.

“Don’t. Please…I don’t want to hear anymore. You are just lonely again. The only differences now is that I’m not willing to go through that again. You were just using me.”

“I’m not using you! Believe me, all of that was real! I know you have the right to be angry with me but I’m scared that by telling you about her we will never be the same and it does! It changes things between us!” The midfielder insisted.

“Of course it will change things! What do you expect? I have feelings for you! You know about it and what did you do? You go and find a new girlfriend! It doesn’t make any sense!” Christen blurted out harshly.

Christen stood up.

“I was too!” Tobin retorted back quickly.

Tobin walked closer and grabbed Christen’s arms.

“Chris, please… please believe me. I..I was falling for you and I’m scared! You are Christen Press! People loved you! You went out to Sweden and you've won the Champions League! Only you can do that. I have nothing to offer you. I’m not good enough for you, Chris. I’m not even a starter and you are a rising star. I’m just gonna dimmed your lights. You deserve happiness. You worked hard for it!”

“So you just take the high road, decide what’s good for me and just decide to hurt me by getting yourself a girlfriend? What the hell, Tobin!” Christen cursed out loud.

This is too much. Christen tried to pull away. Tobin stubbornly hold on tight.

“No..please let me explain. I thought if you see me moving on then you can too. I truly believe you deserve someone better than me. But she’s not you, Chris. I’ve kept comparing her to you and it always fell short! Then I realised I was not happy. But it was too late because I was already stuck in a relationship that I didn’t want in the first place. I owe it to her to give the relationship another try but I had enough. That night I actually went to see her to break it off and that’s when I found out she has been cheating on me with another girl. But I didn’t feel sad. I’m just relieved.”

If she heard Tobin’s confession a few months ago maybe there was a hope to mend their relationship. But now… Christen just let out a big sigh.

“What’s the point of this, Tobin? We kept going back to the same thing. Even what you are saying is true, you know I can’t trust you anymore. I think you have your own issues that you need to solve first. I can’t be your rebound.”

“I know that. I know. But I just want you in my life. Honestly, if the only thing you can offer is your friendship I’ll take it. I’m not gonna push. Even if it take years, I want to earn your trust back.”

“I’ll think about it.” Christen walked away.

Closure? She didn’t think she get one that day.

Tobin kept true to her words. She didn’t push, but she made her effort known whenever they were in camp together. The midfielder will invite her for a pickup games, coffee break, movies night and other activities just as friends of which Christen decline every time. She thought since the last 3 camps and after she rejected Tobin’s suggestion for the 7th time, the midfielder will take the hint and stop asking her but the she kept on it.

“Its annoyinggggg….” Alex groaned from her bed.

Christen smirked but continue with her reading. Her fellow forward and current roommate can be so dramatic at times. No wonder she was best friend with Tobin and Kelley.

“Can’t you just go with her? One time. That’s all I ask. You can hold it against me if it doesn’t work out. Just so she can just shut up about it. I can’t stand it anymore. It’s getting ridiculous. Last night Kelley said she was booking two seats for the circus in town. Since you have already said no to any of her other suggestion. She was getting desperate. Either she talked about you or she kept asking about you. It’s getting tiring, Press. Please just do something about it. I’m gonna go crazy.”

“I’ll think about it.” Christen replied politely. Same words she uttered the past three months.

“What’s really stopping you? I’m so tired become her messenger. I’ve asked her to just text you but she said she want to give you space. I don’t really understand her reasoning here. Do you?” Alex asked curiously.

Christen just shrugged her shoulder. “Who knows what’s inside her mind this days. I don’t even know her before.”

Alex stared at her roommate. Her eyes turned wide unblinking.

“That’s not true. She really opened up to you, Press.”

Christen sighed.

“No. Listen to me. Never in the years since I know her that she has let someone got close to her like you did. I think that was what really scare her. You have the power to really break her.” Alex said.

“So? She break me first?” Christen asked back sarcastically.

“I don’t agree with what she has done to you. But when Tobs scared she tend to do something foolish. I mean she kept staying over at her friend house for years before she bought her apartment because she just scared to own anything that she can called her own. She scared of messing it up.”

“I know about her commitment phobe, Al. I just don’t think that she will have it with me.”

“Well, that’s the thing Chris. She was okay with all this carefree attitude without a care about what happen the next day and suddenly you came in. You made her think about the future.”

“I…”

Christen was interrupted however when Alex suddenly sat up on her bed.

“OMG. Now I can see it. When she asked me about hunting an apartment with her before, she said she want to surprise you with it. I didn’t think much about it because I thought that you guys were just trying to win a bet or something. Now when I think about it, she want to show you she grown up! She’s trying to impress you!”

Christen just rolled her eyes. Of course Tobin’s best friend will side with her on this.

“And she kept asking your opinion about the apartment like the apartment was yours too! Oh god! I’m so stupid. Why can’t I see it? I mean I did see it with the way you two behave around each other but then…Allie! I should talked this with Allie. She can vouch for me..” Alex said excitedly before rushing out of the room.

“Well, nice talking to you, Al.” Christen whispered begrudgingly into the empty room.

Half an hour later, there’s a knock on her door.

“Al, I kept asking you to bring your own key…” Christen said with a sigh.

She should have expected it. Tobin.

“Erm, since you always busy and everything. I just want to bring you this. Here.” Tobin offered the takeaway bag on her hand.

Christen looked at the logo of her favorite pastries café and just took the bag.

“Thanks.”

Tobin looked down at her feet. “Your welcome. Hope you like it.”

“....”

“Okay then. Erm…bye.” Tobin turned and walked away.

Christen waited a few minutes staring at the retreating figure before she walked back into the room. When she opened the bag, on top of the box of pastries, she found a folded note on top of it.

“Chris, remember the time that I've accidentally spilled coffee on myself and Kelley? That was the first time I saw you.. especially your eyes. Your eyes changed colors based on your mood. There was a slight wrinkle at the corner of your eyes and that's when I know when you are really happy. It tells me everything even when you are not saying anything. I miss looking into your eyes. I miss you looking at me. I regret that the last time that you look at me, it was with sadness and now anger. I am sorry for ever doing that to you.”

Christen know now, it’s going to get harder to keep saying no.