What are we?
It started to affect her performance on the field. This distance. Jill took noticed. Either do something to improve or being bench for the rest of the games, she warned. So when she suggested for Christen and Tobin to work extra minutes together, Christen mum her protest.
Christen just gritted her teeth when Tobin gave her a weak pass. She swallowed her anger when she heard Tobin cursed at her missed shot at the goal. But when Tobin shouted at her for not giving her best, Christen just kicked the ball at Tobin’s head and walked off the field.
By the night falls, Christen walked out of the camp. Her grandma had a stroke and just passed away.
She didn’t return to finish the camp afterwards.
Her ankle busted. Both of them. Her local club trainer put her on caution for the next 5 weeks. Christen was devastated but remained brave and strong for the sake of her team. In the meantime, Julie has taken the role as co-captain. Even though she can’t play she still accompanied her team during their matches. It also mean she cannot avoid Tobin forever.
Its Portland turn to host the match, so inevitably Tobin, Lindsay and Emily dropped by her hotel room for a visit. They catch up on what she has been missing from their last camp while Tobin stood at the back and stared at her silently. When Lindsay, Emily and Alyssa went down to get some coffee from the shop below, Christen know she can’t avoid the talk with Tobin anymore.
“How are you?” Tobin started when she sat on Alyssa’s bed.
“I’m fine.” Christen gave a polite smile.
“I’m sorry about your grandma.”
Christen felt her eyes watered but she held it in. So instead of answering Tobin she just nodded her head and softly whispered “Thanks.”
“I also want to apologise for my behavior on our last training. I shouldn’t shout at you.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Christen looked down avoiding eye contact.
Few seconds ticked by without another word. Before Christen can say anything, Tobin interrupted.
“Chris…I... I’m sorry for not telling you about her. I just don’t know how to tell you. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Christen looked up sharply. Her heart beat fast.
“What do you mean you don’t want to hurt me? We were on the phone and texted almost every day! Why is it so hard for you to tell me about your new girlfriend?”
“I know, Chris.” The midfielder mumbled out.
“What… do you mean? What do you know?” Christen asked back nervously.
“I know that you have feelings for me.”
“Of course I have feelings for you. We were friends...” She retorted.
“Chris…I know you like me.” Tobin confessed.
“Oh…”
The anger she felt a few seconds ago vanished into thin air. It is now replaced with a deep sadness. Tobin knew. She knew about her feelings and it still doesn’t change anything. Julie was right. She was just being used.
“So what? You just decide to fake it until you find someone better huh?” Christen replied. Derision in her tone.
“No..you got it all wrong. I don’t want to lose you! I don’t want to lose our friendship!”
Friends. The dreaded word. Christen just shook her head. This was so messed up.
“Get out.”
“I….Chris, please.”
“Get out, Tobin. I don’t want to talk or even look at you right now.”
Tobin walked out of the room. Her posture shows a total defeat. Christen didn’t care anymore. She just slammed her back behind the door as soon as it closed. Her tears ran freely down her cheeks.
She went back to all their interactions and see it with a new eyes. It’s all fake. Tobin was just faking it all with her and she was a fool to believe it all this time.