Chapter 2
June 23, 2024
Tobin stood in the mirror and examined her outfit:
an Alex Morgan jersey
ripped white skinny jeans
nikes
'No, too casual,' Tobin thought as she began rummaging through her closet for another combination of clothes.
"Hurry up. If we don't leave soon we'll be late!" Kelley, Tobin's friend and housemate, yelled. She walked in on Tobin throwing clothes everywhere on the floor.
"Tobin! What are you doing?!"
"This outfit is bad. Im looking for my old jersey." Tobin didn't even look up. She kept searching until Kelley pulled her away.
"Dude it's fine. She'll like it."
Tobin sighed and sat on the foot of her bed. Kelley followed and asked," What's wrong?"
Tobin replied looking down," You know what's wrong." Kelley didn't respond and let Tobin continue.
"I messed up Kel. I should've talked to her. I should've replied to her. I should've gotten over my stupid emotions instead of hurt her, but I didn't. I didn't and it sucks. She probably hates me, and she has every right to."
Kelley took in a breath and thought of a response. She felt for Tobin. She knows how much Tobin cares for Alex, and she knows she really meant it when she said she messed up. But she also remembers Alex, and how she took it. She remembers countless phone calls about Tobin and how she's doing. She remembers the endless nights of watching her bestfriend cry herself to sleep because she thought it was her fault. Kelley understands Tobin, but she also wants her to make things right.
"Tobin, you have to tell her. You have to tell her why you left, and why you haven't talked to her. She deserves it."
Tobin looked into Kelley's eyes for the first time," You're right. I know you're right. But.. but I don't know if I'm ready yet."
Tobin was being completely honest. She didn't know if she was ready yet. She hasn't talked to Alex in months, much less see her in person. Tobin was scared. She didn't know what to do around Alex.
Kelley saw Tobin in thought and decided to end the subject," C'mon. She's my friend, Tobin. She needs to know the truth. Plus, I know she won't leave you alone tonight at the party. Either you'll tell her or she'll make you tell her."
Tobin knew Kelley was right yet again. They were throwing a party for all the old uswnt players and Alex was coming.
"Whatever." Tobin mumbled and walked out of the apartment.
"What have I gotten myself into?"
.
"God, we're late."
Tobin and Kelley pulled into the reserved parking spot and Kelley anxiously jumped out, hurrying to get to the stadium. Tobin, however, was taking her precious time, slugging around.
"C'mon, Tobin! You're just going to have to face her. You knew you would at some point."
Kelley pushed Tobin to move faster but it didn't really work. When they finally made it, all the retired uswnt were there and they were all sitting in a great spot.
"Well look who finally showed up," Pinoe yelled, standing up to give the two a hug.
"Sorry," Kelley said, giving Pinoe as well as others a hug," This one decided to be slow today."
"Hey!" Tobin slapped Kel's arm and returned a few hugs.
"What? Couldn't find your own jersey?" Sydney smirked as Tobin sat next to her.
"Uhh yeah." Tobin was completely caught off guard, but decided not to press it.
The starters began to file out for warm-ups. The crowd cheered, except for Tobin. Where was Alex? She wasn't there.
'Where's Alex?' Tobin thought. 'Did she get injured? Did she loose her starting position? No, no that wouldn't happen. But where is she?'
Tobin got lost in her thought before Kelley snapped her back into reality.
"You ready?"
Tobin sighed," Ready as I'll ever be."
Kelley squeezed her shoulder and continued to watch warm-ups. Even though she sided with Alex, she truly felt for Tobin as well. She knew Tobin constantly beat herself up about making the wrong decision. She just wished Tobin would make things right. They both deserve it.
Tobin was watching warm-ups when she heard the crowd roar. She looked at the tunnel and then she saw her. The one she's been running from. The one who she was looking for.
"Alex."
.
The anxiety of the crowd was beginning to rise and the sweat of Tobin was beginning to run.
There wasn't a lot of time left. The game was tied. The US had to win in order to come out on top. They were playing Canada, one of their biggest rivals, making the tensions run even higher.
"C'mon." Tobin said to herself. "C'mon Lex, you can do this."
As the time was running to the last minute, something great happened.
Mallory lofted the perfect ball into space, and Alex took the challenge. She ran in between the two center back defenders and beat the keeper to the ball. She chipped it and the crowd watched as the ball sailed through the air and hit the back of the net.
The crowd cheered and Tobin cheered louder. She couldn't believe it. Alex had just scored. She finally scored in months, and she couldn't be happier for her former teammate.
As the US players were making their way back to the lockerrooms, Kelley tapped Tobin's shoulder, getting her attention.
"It's now or never."
Tobin took a deep breath and walked down to the first row. As Alex got closer the old US players began cheering loudly, getting her attention. She watched as Alex's eyes trailed over the past players. She saw Alex get disappointed, and she finally mustered up the confidence to speak.
"Hey can I get your autograph, Lex."
.
Alex looked down and into Tobin's eyes. She came? She finally talked to me.
She grinned, only because there were cameras everywhere to get the interaction on film, and walked up to Tobin. Tobin thought Alex's smile was genuine, but as soon as Alex got out of view the smile faded and a frown appeared.
"Really?" Was all Alex could get out. Even though Alex was close, she kept her distance. Tobin took in the word and sighed. She's missed that raspy voice.
"Hey, I can explain. Just," Tobin scratched the back of her neck, trying to keep calm," Please not here. You're coming to the party right?"
Between the game and just now, Alex completely forgot about the party. She was going to go, but now she was thinking about bailing.
"I-I don't know."
Tobin's face began to fall. She needed to talk and tell Alex the truth. In private.
As Alex was beginning to walk away, Kelley and Pinoe ran down to where Tobin was.
"That was an amazing goal, Morgan."
"Pinoe! Long time, no see!" Alex embraced her old teammate before turning to Kelley.
"Hey Squirrel."
"Hey Baby horse."
Alex hated that nickname, but hugged Kelley anyways.
"Hey we gotta go, but you're coming to our apartment later?" Kelley asked pointing between her and Tobin.
Alex was hesitant. "Um, well I don't know. I'm really tired and-"
"Come! Come please!" Megan begged. "It won't be the same without you. We all need to catch up. Plus, I'm bringing drinks!"
Alex slightly grinned at Pinoe's comment. She knew she wasn't getting out of this one.
"Fine. I'll be there."
.
Alex stood and went over her options. She could:
A) go in and confrint the girl who has caused you pain and aggrevation for months
B) leave, lie and say she was tired
C) go in and have a good time
Before Alex could make a decision, the door swung open to reveal a very nervous Tobin.
Alex decided to get the truth from Tobin, but not now. She wanted to ease her way into it, for her's and Tobin's sake. As for now, she decided to keep her gaurd up.
"Were you looking for me?"
Tobin sensed the tension and didn't know how to answer.
"I-I uh-"
"ALEX! You made it!" A drunken Kelley interrupted and Tobin was relieved.
As soon as Kelley walked up Alex could smell the alcohol.
"You're drunk."
"You're not my mom." Kelley replied, leaning on the wall for support. She's more drunk than Alex and Tobin realized. Alex made her way into the house past Tobin and helped Kelley walk to the couch.
"Hey Kel lets get you seated. And I brought some clothes. I was planning on staying the night if that's alright."
Kelley turned around and answered. "Sorry Al, Hope was going to stay with me tonight."
"Aw Kel, but I was going to drink and have some fun." Alex whined and begged. Before Kelley could respond, Tobin spoke up.
"Alex, you can sleep in my bed. I can sleep on the couch."
Alex didn't want to stay in the same room as Tobin right now, but she knew she had to in order to get the explanation she's been waiting for. Tobin left and headed for the living room before Alex could give her an answer.
Alex just stared at Tobin until Kelley snapped her from her thoughts.
"Come on, let's get this party started!"
.
Within two hours of the whole team being there, everybody was drunk. Everyone except for Tobin, Mallory, Crystal, and Morgan. Tobin never drank, Mallory couldn't because she had a training session the next day, and Crystal and Morgsn were the designated drivers.
The team had played a few games, including monopoly deal, which ended in four victories for Alex and zero for the rest of the team, and truth or dare, which ended in crazy food challenges and everyone laughing hysterically. It was way late so they all just sat around the living room, the drinks and exhaustion taking over.
"Can't believe I've been retired for almost nine years." Abby sat back in realization and sighed.
"Five for me," Hope joined in. "Man, we had some good memories."
"Hey remember that time during practice where Pinoe slipped in mud and fell on her face."
Lauren's memory earned some laughs and a eye roll from Megan.
Christen decided to chime in," Or the time where we scared Jill during team bonding in Germany."
"That was hilarious!" Allie laughed, remembering that night.
"But it wasn't the next day when she made us run hills instead of scrimmages." Sydney replied and a few others laughed.
"I will never forget the time where Alex tried goalkeeping." Carli pointed to Alex and she just pursed her lips together and rolled her eyes.
"Alex you always saved our butts, whether it was giving us excuses to tell when we stayed up late or scoring with seconds left."
"Yeah you always seemed to save the day. Without you, we definitely wouldn't have won a lot of games and some championship cups."
Alex just smiled and took the compliments inane everyone nodded in agreement. "I've missed you guys."
Alex continued," I love the team now, they've stepped up which is great. But it's just not the same without you all."
"I know baby horse, but we're all old. You've still got that fire in you." Amy answered for the team. Some responded with a yeah.
"Oh come on, I know you all still want to play. Plus, you guys aren't even that old. Tobin, you're only a year older than me." Alex said, looking towards Tobin.
Tobin kept her head down.
'No, don't bring this up.' She thought to herself. The rest of the group stayed quiet, waiting for Tobin to answer. Instead, she decided to just change the subject.
"Ya know, why are we talking about such depressing matters? Come on, let's relive some more memories."
The rest of the team agreed, changing the subject and talking about the past memories that came to their heads. Tobin tried to slip out to the balcony, but Alex saw and followed.
'Now or never, Alex. Go ask her.' She thought to herself while standing up and walking to the balcony doors.
When Alex walked outside she saw Tobin leaning against the railing, overlooking the city lights and the few cars that were still out.
"Hey." Tobin managed out, not even looking to see who it was.
"Why did you quit? Why did you quit, Tobin?" Alex didn't even try to greet her and just decided to get straight to the point.
"I don-"
"Yes you do know! You do know and you also know why you didn't speak to me for months!" Alex just let it all out. She was tired of Tobin making excuses and she just wanted to truth.
"After you retired, I was devastated. I called you numerous times, and texted you everyday for weeks, I even asked everyone if you were okay! I cared for you, Tobin. You were always there for me. When I hit injured, you always went to my appointments and made sure I was resting. When I got married, you were my maid of honor. When I got my divorce, you were with me every step of the way. Did Kelley tell you I would cry myself to sleep every night because I thought you forgotten me. Did she tell you that I would come to your apartment only to leave because I thought you would answer, only to find me and shut me out. I trusted you, Tobin, and you just took my heart and slashed it into a million pieces. and you don't seem to care!"
Alex was sobbing now and Tobin even let out a few tears. She didn't know she hurt her so badly. If only Alex knew the truth.
Tobin finally turned towards a shaken Alex waiting for an answer.
"I-" Tobin tried to get out between sniffles," I-uh, I don't know what to say."
Alex breathed in, trying not to loose control. She ran her hands through her hair before speaking.
"You know what, I'm really tired and obviously I'm not going to get a deserved explanation. I'll make Hope sleep on the couch. I staying with Kelley tonight."
Alex left Tobin there. Little did she know she just broke her heart. Tobin just stood there and sobbed, watching Alex leave.
Once inside, Alex walked past the rest of the team, who were watching a recorded soccer game so they didn't notice. She ran into Kelley in the hallway, and Kelley knew that the two had an interaction, bt decided no to push it.
"Kelley, where's your room?"
Kelley paused for a moment, trying to find an answer. Alex was confused at first but thought it was just the alcohol getting to her.
"Um, it's down the hall and to your right."
"Thanks Squirrel."
Alex followed Kelley instructions and found herself in what she thought was Kelley's room. She plopped on the bed and cried herself to sleep once again, not even realizing she was in Tobin's room.