Scene 6
Clarke frowned at the already empty beer bottle before putting it aside. It has already been an hour since she last saw Lexa and in that one hour many a vivid and unpleasant scenarios have crossed Clarke’s mind about that red head and a certain brunette. Them writhing in each other’s pleasure, them laughing mercilessly before devouring each other in some dingy bathroom …. But all these steam heated scenes had left a bitter taste in her. Clarke blamed it on concern, concern for a somewhat stranger who had turned out to a friend under the unlikeliest of circumstances. But somewhere in the back of her mind, there was a thought nibbling, was she being clingy waiting out in some parking lot when Lexa might not actually come back? But she dismissed the thought as fast as it had come.
She clasped her bare legs together, the shortened length of her skirt couldn’t prevent her from shivering in the enclosing December chills. Her hands trailed back to one of her jacket’s in-pockets, tenderly bringing out a ring, the plethora of demented memories.
Her fingers brushed atop the small princess cut diamond but just a single glance at it somehow still could break her dam of waterworks.
“You okay there?”
She didn’t realize her silent cries could garner someone’s attention. He breathe hitched, she instantly shoved the ring in of her pockets and quickly ran a dry hand over her moist eyes before turning around.
Her ears must have been ringing too hard in the beats of her own misery that she didn’t even realize it was Lexa who was standing in front of her. It seemed to Clarke as if some twisted hand was in play for Lexa always tended to find in her worst hours of her own despair, ones she wanted to cry away in some corner away from everyone.
“Lexa?”
The voice lain with unshed tears was one that echoed it’s familiarity to Lexa. Forest eyes glazed curiously into those baby blues that were tinted in ruddiness, the tip of her nose rosy as if she had been crying.
“Are you okay?”
There was a pregnant pause. “I…..” Clarke bit her lips, her eyes closing for a second before she swallowed in her own emptiness. “I’m fine.” Giving a tight smile in reassurance, all Lexa saw a duration. A duration of how long Clarke could lie to herself before she breaks.
But the lie once again just mid-air.
“If you say so.”
Lexa sat in the unoccupied space beside Clarke. Finally the answer to the question of the hour was to be unveiled but Clarke still toyed whether she would actually like the answer even though the deed was done and sealed.
“So, how was it?”
Under the city lights and the drastic bill board signs, Clarke saw a faint smile playing on those plump lips. She groaned internally.
“I couldn’t do it.”
Lexa finally turned to face the blonde who seemed just as bewildered as that forgotten red head who had looked just as shocked. At that moment.
“Oh?”
Lexa shrugged, her eyes travelling along the relaxing jawline of Clarke’s whose eyebrows were crouched in utter confusion.
“Is it because you forgot the mechanism or you are just dormant down there? I mean it’s been like 4 years so I wouldn’t blame you.”
Lexa snorted, “I meant I couldn’t do it as in it didn’t click. It didn’t seem like the right moment and that girl was very carnivorous. Handsy and reeked of alcohol. It’s not like I never had girlfriends, I had but I somehow couldn’t do it then and can’t seem to do it now, even.”
Even in the snortiness of her features, there was a glimpse of that dreamy look in her eyes whenever she spelled “the right moment” and in that very moment, all of the pieces clicked in Clarke.
“Oh my god, you were actually wishing to fall in love.” Her statement shocked Lexa but she didn’t retort. “That, my friend, is one tough of a wish. But you still have 30 days straight to fall in love with a girl.”
What Clarke didn’t notice under her rant was that momentary empowerment in green eyes who looked onto the diverted blue ones, before turning back herself. A crush. Green eyes mused. Maybe it’s just a crush.
“Clarke, the car is that way” Lexa pointed out to the oblivious blonde who was blissfully walking a few steps ahead of her in a very opposite direction.
“I don’t drink and drive my baby” Clarke slurred.
“But you certainly drink and walk.” Retorted Lexa. But Clarke didn’t pay any heed. Her steps as she gulped onto her 6th or 7th beer, the tipsiness of it was finally overpowering her senses.
“You shouldn’t drink so much.” The blonde looked upon her companion who was walking in slow steps beside her, her eyes found hers but the brunette didn’t deter from the statement nor looked away from Clarke’s staring, even though frankly Lexa didn’t have any right to comment, but the earnest look in those green eyes held Clarke’s tongue.
“It’s just beer.”
“Still.”
What’s your New Year’s Resolution? …. Christmas Gifts for Your Beloveds …. Extravagant Family Dinners This New Year ….. What do you want to do before you die? ...
Lexa’s eyes flickered past each bill board, sometimes she would slow up her own pace if something vaguely familiar caught her eye somewhere in those barring lights.
“What does Christmas remind you of?”
“Food.” Lexa unabashedly replied. “Roast turkey and smashed potatoes. And … and London. What about you?”
“Christmas carols, moonshine ... its’ a deadly cocktail some of my friends invented. And San Francisco.” Clarke tilted her own head at her sudden thought. “This will be my first Christmas away from home.”
Home. The word alone send spades in her heart. The nostalgic way that four letter word slipped past Clarke’s tongue, send an unearthly catapult in her veins.
I have a fucking family to feed. We all have unlike you.
“I haven’t been home for Christmas for two years. Haven’t talked to dad for almost three.”
Clarke halted when the glassy voice spoke in stuttered whispers. She looked back to Lexa who had already ducked her head down, kicking at something at the ground.
“When mom died, we barely managed. Then I moved here permanently when same old sorry faces grew suffocating. I wanted to climb up the ladder too fast and now when I look back I see I have lost my way back home.”
Clarke rested her head gently atop Lexa’s shoulder blade. In hushed undertone, Lexa intensified on Clarke’s words. “Maybe you should call him this time.”
“What is this humane sound?”
The buzzing sound of the vacuum cleaner was drilling holes into the drowsy blonde’s head. She tried to shield out the loud noise by covering herself in blankets but the noise somehow penetrated through.
“It’s called cleaning Clarke. You know that right?”
The blonde, in a condescending tone, replied. “No I don’t know. And I don’t wanna know.”
She narrowed her eyes pointing to a certain grey layered couch that now situated itself near one of her windows. “Where the funk did that sofa come from?”
“Oh that. It’s yours.”
“No, no.”
“Yes, yes. It shyly hid itself under your heap of dirt, Clarke.” Lexa pulled out her head gear and smiled that lop sided way to the mumbling Clarke.
“Anyway, here. Coffee. Low fat.”
Clarke made, what the fuck face. “Full fat, Lexa. I like full fat.”
“So, it’s your turn now.”
“Ahha, so I wanted to do it for a while now. We are going for a dip in the Atlantic Ocean.”
Lexa sprung up to her feet at the atrocious demand. “It’s -3 degree out there Clarke. Don’t be naïve.”
“So when it’s my wish it’s “Oh, so stupid Clarke” but when it’s you it’s “Oh sweet honey bunny wish”. “ Clarke all but poked hard into Lexa’s right eliciting a groan from the brunette.
“It’s not like my wish came true, anyway.” Lexa countered.
“It would have you weren’t such a goofy doofus. Come on, Lexa. It’ll be fun.”
“Fine. And don’t call me doofus again.”
“Okay, doofus.”
Caught in her reverie, Clarke marvelled the sun peeking over the horizon, the clouds looking like baby blue cotton candy, almost transparent and fluffy. The lukewarm feeling was there in the air but it was somehow muffed proportionately to the frost smashes of water.
They seem to have travelled kilometres when the distant outline of the land was finally lost in the enchanting panorama and Lexa turned off the roundabout speed boat’s engine. The sound finally deafened and all now rang in Clarke’s ears was the soothing and rhythmic tunes of the rough waves. The brunette was in her cargo pants, legs stretched lavishly out under the imbibing rays of the morning rays. The view simple, nothing exquisite but to Clarke it meant something.
She had always wanted to take a long and never ending journey, lazing around in a cruise midst the blue hues of the ocean but never for once she thought she would actually be here, let alone with someone …. With Lexa. How life turns around in a blink was truly enticing. Just a snap in those tips and your world slips.
They didn’t talk. They sat in comfortable silence. Just the sound of their breathe entangling with their thoughts. To be a judge of yourself in your own silence. Time and again, Clarke would steal stolen glances at the unperturbed beauty who would also not so subtly be caught many a times staring …. No admiring the porcelain skin of the blonde herself.
“Ready?”
Another hefty wave smashed against the wooden palate of the boat knocking Clarke almost off her feet.
“Lexa, in which bag did you put my swimming suit?”
Dutifully, Lexa made way to the emergency bags they had bought along with all their necessary clothing. She rummaged through the contents of the two bags, relatively pouring out everything except their swimming suits. It was just not there. Because Lexa was pretty sure she had left in the car itself.
Lexa ran her hand through her locks, and sceptically spoke,
“I left that bag in the car.”
“What?”
“We were in a rush and you were practically bullying me …” but the constricted glaze of Clarke’s made Lexa redo her wordings “ …. You are persuading me to push that beast of yours which just stood dead in the traffic for hours, I just forgot that bag.”
But Clarke somehow doubted Lexa’s words. ”You weren’t keen about this trip. How do I know you didn’t do it deliberately?”
Lexa lobed her arms, “I can still swim Clarke.”
Upon seeing the blonde puzzlement, Lexa quickly stripped down her pants to reveal her big checked boxers with a white tank top. But it didn’t reveal just that. From Clarke’s perspective, it revealed a curly haired statuesque girl in maroon boxers who was rubbing her elbow in awkwardness. It revealed the labyrinth of dark ink that was smashed through the long toned arms. Something that made Clarke realize she hadn’t paid much attention to the brunette as much as she had thought. Yet again, in such a short passage of time, Clarke was yearning from paper to standstill the inked memento when she had been facing an artist block for months.
“I’m not gonna strip.”
“No one in a 10 km radius is here to see you.” But the pointy glare at Lexa’s direction almost made her turn a shade of crimson darker. Not that she didn’t picture Clarke in a swimming suit or anything. Being gay, and that too single and even more in such … glamorous company had certain downfalls, it seems, but that didn’t imply Lexa would jump her pants any day, any time. She was a woman of her word and there’s always that two letter word that Lexa respected; Self-dignity.
“What, me? No, I’m not interested in seeing you that way at all.”
But the bashful smirk of hers was only growing, infuriating Lexa just a tad bit. She braced Clarke, “What do you want me to say? Oh my god, Clarke, I’m just dying to see you in that suit?”
Clarke deflated at her tone. “No need to be so harsh about it.”
“It’s just a waste of time whatsoever. Come on, I’m turning the boat around ….. “
But instead where once stood a blonde, just lay shrugged off boots and black pants. Momentarily followed by a splash in the blue.
Lexa panicked. She rushed to the railed sides of the speed boat, turning heads here for the resurfacing of blonde hair. But nothing. All Lexa saw was the dominating power of crystal waves rushing towards the drifting boat.
It was only then she saw a tiny figure feet afar from the destined boat, wailing hands in the air with the brunette’s name crying out from her lips. Lexa threw out the floater but it didn’t reach that far. Hell, it didn’t reach more than half the distance.
So Lexa did the one she never thought she would actually be doing. She jumped into the symphony of the ocean. But no sooner she leapt into its arms, she started speedily sinking down under its pull. Her legs and arms sprang into desperate action to keep her afloat but the saltiness was already pushing down her face.
“Help! Help!” she yelped and within moment’s notice, hands dug onto her waist bringing her close to the floater.
Calming her shallow breathe, she finally looked into the clouded fright behind the blues who was gaping at her in rapt attention. Who all but shrieked into her ears.
“You can’t swim?”
Lexa had the decency to look a bit ashamed. “I’m just not that good.”
Clarke exasperated. “Then why the fuck did you jump?”
“I thought you were drowning.”
“I wasn’t drowning.”
“But you were screaming, how the hell was I supposed to know?”
“So you just jumped the boat ….. oh my god, the boat. Lexa, the fucking boat. You left the fucking …” Clarke jumped her hands maddeningly and Lexa was too dumbfounded to voice her thoughts. There was the boat, drifting away and away from them until it appeared as a prickle in the ocean.
The boat that they hired on lent had mercilessly left them stranded in the middle of nowhere.
“You left it fucking unattended.”
“Thank you for stating the obvious. Though might I remind you, if you hadn’t recklessly jumped into the unknown to show off your skills we wouldn’t be in such a situation.”
“So, it’s my fault?”
“Again, you are stating the obvious, Clarke.” The sinful and total nerve wrecking way Lexa silkily rolled the “k” in her name emphasizing on the “r” boiled her water. She splashed handful of water to the irritated brunette’s face.
“Do you think we should swim ahead? We didn’t drive that far, you know.”
“But in which direction?”
The sun was towering in their east, so New York coastline should definitely be in its polar opposite direction. Or something.
“That way.” Peering over the blonde’s shoulder.
They hadn’t made much progress though. Clothes were pummelling against her skin, she could feel the cringe in her body against the salty water. And her legs were hurting.
“I have to pee, Clarke.”
Clarke looked visibly revolted. “No, not here.”
“Why not?”
“Because … it’s disgusting.”
Lexa winced underneath the pressure against the urinary bladder.
“Why don’t you just swim over and you know…. it will wash away with the waves by then?”
“No way, Lexa.”
“Clarke.” Lexa whined. “I’m going to die because you didn’t allow me to pee.”
“I’m sorry, Clarke.”
Two words made Clarke swallow her anger. Lexa was gripping too tight onto the floater, her knuckles already taking in white shades. Her eyes found the soothing waves to be more interesting.
“Don’t.” Clarke stopped her string of apologies. “I like it better when you are stern instead of all apologetic.”
“I have never been on an official holiday before.”
Clarke could feel the slight tug of a growing smile against the crook of her neck. Cool breaths decorating her back, making her clatter even more.
“That’s crazy, Lexa.” Clarke gasped but couldn’t break that small smile growing in herself.
“I was busy.”
“Doing what?” Clarke asked to quench her curiosity.
“Earning money.” She sighed. A long sigh.
The crinkles of her hand’s foliage was growing prominent. Clarke wondered maybe this was how she was supposed to go. Slowly.
“Ark, my car, it belongs to my dad. Belonged to my dad till he passed away. We shopped of it together.” The mere memory of it blossomed a grin on the paling face.
“Ark’s nearly 17 now. I kept it with me for closure at that time but it turned out to be a constant for me. It’s been 7 years since but even now I feel closer to dad when Ark’s with me.” Clarke’s voice finally quivered towards the end. She didn’t know why she had even told her, maybe because Lexa would understand instead of pitying that the pain of losing someone doesn’t diminish over time.
She felt resilient arms fence her from both sides, holding her steadily to her floater. There was a respectable inches gap between them but her presence echoed four words. Four words that didn’t include I am so sorry or Time heals all wounds.
It spoke, You are not alone. And that was enough for Clarke.
“But with all due respect to your father Clarke, the car is still a monstrosity.”
Trust Lexa to break the ice.
Clarke finally gave out a hearty melodic laugh, one Lexa was sure she could listen through great lengths of time and never get bored.
It was enough for Lexa.