Chapter 13
**Lexas POV**
She stared out of the window as the world seemed to fly by, she turned her head and saw Luna picking at her fingers, one of her nervous habits. She reached out and grabbed her hand smoothing her fingers between her own. Luna looked at their hands gave her a small smile before pulling away.
“Lun?”
“You didn’t have to come.”
“I wanted to be here for you.”
“You should go back to her.”
Luna was staring at her challenging her to deny it, she could tell. She was never one to back down and Luna had never pushed her to until this very moment. She turned her head and began staring out the window.
“I’m sorry.”
She felt a hand on her chin forcing her to turn back.
“I knew you weren’t in love with me, I just wished you would be one day……… But I just want you to be happy. Does she make you happy?”
She felt tears coming to her eyes but Luna looked strong and determined more than she had in the time they had been together. She looked beautiful.
“It is not about her, I want what’s best for you, you deserve so much more Luna.”
Luna looked at her then with a sad smile. She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I do and so do you.”
They sat in silence for the rest of the ride but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. Right before their stop she looked to Luna who was as always playing candy crush and she couldn’t hold in her laughter. Luna looked up confused.
“What’s so funny?”
“We just broke up and you are playing candy crush like nothing happened.”
She couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling up even as tears began falling down her face, when Luna reached out to her she put her hand up to stop her. She took deep breathes in to try and calm herself.
“I’m okay honestly, just Luna I can’t lose you….. I do….. I mean… I love you.”
She watched as Lunas eyes widened, and she felt it in her more than ever, she loved her, no she wasn’t in love with her but she loved her the way she could.
Luna nodded and looked away biting her lip. “You won’t lose me…. I mean we can be friends?”
“I would really love that.”
They both stood as the train pulled in. They made their way to the parking lot where a tall man stepped out of a car before pulling Luna into a hug while completely sobbing. She didn’t know what to do so she just stood there. People were staring and it angered her, whenever she made eye contact with anyone she glared at them until the scuttled off with their heads down.
Lunas father pulled away and quickly wiped his eyes before giving her a huge smile and beckoning her forward. The smile didn’t reach his eyes but she did her best to make her returning smile reach hers.
She walked towards him and he quickly wrapped her in a hug. “It is great to finally meet you Lexa, Lunas infamous girlfriend.”
“Friend Dad… Lexa is just my friend.”
He pulled away and searched her face she offered a sad smile and nodded confirming what Luna had said.
He nodded his head and looked between them. “Friends.. okay.”
He grabbed her bag before she could protest gave her another small smile before grabbing Lunas and putting them into the truck.
Luna climbed into the front seat while Lexa took the back realizing how awkward it might be for Luna to correct everyone upon her introduction for the remainder of their visit, which she also realized she did not know how long that would be.
She stared out the window watching all the trees pass by lost in her own thoughts. She was single now, wasn’t she? Or was she automatically with Clarke? No probably not though it felt like it for a while now, she was Clarkes, she just hoped Clarke wanted to be hers too.
“How is he?” She tuned out of her own thoughts to listen in to what was happening up front.
She saw Lunas father shake his head sadly, Luna just nodded and stared out the window.
“He hasn’t woken up, doctors say if he doesn’t wake up by the end of the week we have to start thinking about our options.”
Luna continued to stare out of the window but was paying attention. Lexa moved forward as much as she could and reached for her hand, running her thumb along the back of her hand and giving it a squeeze as if she could transfer strength through touch.
“What are our options?”
She turned her head to see Luna father struggling to talk, he swallowed repeatedly as if trying not to let the words out.
“Organ donation, long term facility where he would stay connected to the machines the rest of his life. One of those.”
She felt Lunas hand begin to shake in her own and every instinct in her body told her to drag into the back with her and just hold her, whisper about nothing into her ear until she calmed down, but she couldn’t do that now. Could she?
*Clarkes POV*
She went back to her apartment and looked around unsure of what to do. She opened Lunas bedroom looking at the mess that was left behind in their rush. She began folding all of the clothes and putting them away. She picked up a photo of Lexa and just stared at it.
How could she just say she chose her and just leave? That is obviously not choosing her. But then she looked over and saw a picture of Lunas brother, and felt guilt stab through her. Lexa does what is right, if she has learned anything about her it is that.
She would never just leave Luna when she needed her most because…. She loved her. But she chose Clarke right?
She shook her head, she couldn’t just stay here or she would just sit in this apartment wondering what they were doing, was Lexa kissing her.. touching her?
Damn it Clarke, she knew they weren’t going there for that. She picked up her phone and went to Lexas name. Lexa may not get the texts until she got a new phone but she would get them eventually.
Clarke: I don’t understand. This is going to drive me crazy. You are driving me crazy.
She pressed send and stood up heading to her own room to begin packing.
She pressed the call button and waited for her mother to pick up.
“Hey baby girl, what’s up?”
“I’m coming home for a bit.” There was a silence, her parents constantly nagged her to go home but now nothing?
“Mom?”
“Honey it isn’t really a great time.”
She felt her anger rising, “What do you mean it isn’t a great time? I’m not a visitor it is my home is it not?”
“Of course love, but dad and I have been busy lately we aren’t going to be available.”
“Lame excuse, I’m buying my bus ticket now, see you tomorrow.”
“Clarke wait!”
She hung up her phone and just looked at it, something was up her mom was being weird. She shrugged it off and stood up walking out of Lunas room and closing the door behind her.
She created a group message with her friends to let them know she was going to be going away for a while.
Clarke: Hey guys, going to visit my parents for a while just wanted to let you know for when I go MIA.
Octavia: Can’t handle Lexa being away?
Her eyes widened at the response, what was that supposed to mean?
Raven: Nope, princess doesn’t think we are enough anymore :/
Clarke: Shut up. I <3 you guys just want to go see my parents.
Lincoln: Have fun Clarke.
Bellamy: Aww I really wanted to see you.
She smiled at Bells text, he is such a dork.
3475555555 Added to conversation
Who is that?
(347)555-5555: Awww you don’t like me as much as you like my sister.
She rolled her of course it was Roan.
Clarke: Shut up I will be back before Luna and Lexa.
Clarke: Maybe next time Bell.
Bellamy: Counting on it ;)
Octavia: Ewww
She laughed out loud and rolled her eyes even though no one was there. She threw her phone on her bed as she began packing. It was a good thing she was going home, she needed to spend some time with her parents, get away from everything.
*Lexas POV*
They had driven straight to the hospital and spent the remainder of the evening there. She spent her time in the waiting room not going in to see Aden, it would feel weird if she were to meet him like that. But she was bored with definitely no phone so the time dragged whenever Luna was away from her.
She would have sat there for hours longer though when Luna walked into the room with tears streaming down her face saying visiting hours were over and her Mom was going to spend the night in the hospital.
Her father walked out silently headed straight for the exit. They followed silently behind him Luna occasionally sniffing. When they reached the car and Lunas tears hadn’t slowed down Lexa grabbed her hand and pulled her into the back of the car with her and just held her close doing her best to soothe her.
Lunas father stopped in the doorway of the house and looked at them both with tears in his own eyes. “I have to grab your mother some clothes to change into. You guys figure out sleeping arrangements yourselves.” Lexa nodded and he walked further into the house going straight to what she assumed was his bedroom.
Luna took in a deep breath and pulled her towards the stairs. They walked into her childhood bedroom and Lexa couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. Everything was soooo UnLuna. The room was painted a really dark purple with black drapes. Posters of guys and girls covered in tattoos. All of her furniture was also dark.
Luna turned and looked at her curiously before taking in the room around herself too. She shrugged her shoulders and let out a laugh, “I was kind of Goth in high school.”
Lexa couldn’t help it she bent over laughing clutching her stomach and willing herself to breathe. “I’m okay, I’m not laughing.” She was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. Next thing she knew there was pillow being hit over head repeatedly and she tackled Luna down to the floor to stop the assault.
What she didn’t mean for was for Luna to fall onto the bed and for her to fall directly on her pressed together in ways that felt oh so familiar. She opened her eyes to see Luna watching her silently. She sat up quickly moving herself to the other side of the bed awkwardly.
Luna watched her as she fumbled with her hair. Luna punched her in the arm lightly making her look at her.
“Don’t be weird, we are friends, I’m not going to try and hit on you or anything.”
“I didn’t say you were going to.”
Luna rolled her eyes and looked around the room. “You can stay in here, I will sleep on the couch.”
Lexa stood blocking the doorway before Luna was even standing. “I am not kicking you out of your room.”
“You aren’t obviously I am offering, you didn’t have to come here Lexa, I appreciate that you are here, I mean come on I know you were bored as hell today.”
She wasn’t going to try and deny that but this was wrong. “The bed is big enough for both of us.”
“You won’t sleep with me.”
Her eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you don’t sleep with me, you have always snuck off, I’m not dumb you know.”
She looked at the ground in shame. “I never thought you were dumb.”
“Did you cheat on me?”
Lexa eyes snapped up quickly and she shook her head as fast she could. “Luna I would never, I love you and you deserve so much more than that.”
Luna nodded her head. “I didn’t think you did but I just had to ask, I mean I let my girlfriend sleep with another girl constantly. I’m an idiot, so damn gullible.”
Lexa walked quickly to where Luna still sat and crouched down so they were face to face and held Lunas face in her hands to make sure she was looking at her. “Hey you are literally perfect; you are beautiful, smart, funny, and so kind, you have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met, you came to me in a time in my life when I needed you most. I owe you so much and I plan on doing what I can to make it up to you. You deserve the world but I can’t give it to you. We don’t fit together the way we thought we would but Lun my puzzle isn’t complete without you.”
Before she could do anything, Luna leaned forward and their lips were pressed together in a soft kiss. It wasn’t a sad one though it was a goodbye to who they had been to each other before and a hello to who they would be from this moment on.
Luna pulled away and wiped a tear off of her face that she hadn’t known was there. “ I love you Alexandria Woods and if I could love you this much I can’t imagine how much I will love the person I am meant to be with.”
She gave her a sad smile, “I love you too. And I will totally be you wing woman in finding whoever that person is.”
Luna laughed and pulled her onto the bed beside her and they both laid down neither needing to say anything because they knew nothing needed to be said for them to understand the other, they were connected in a way Lexa had never realized and she was glad that she would get to explore this new side to them more. But before she could really finish her thoughts she drifted off to sleep.
*Clarkes POV*
She couldn’t understand her parents, neither had the time to pick her up from the bus so she had to take a cab, yet neither had any real excuse.
This little vacation wasn’t starting very well. She unlocked the front door to the house and took a few steps in when her mother came running down the stairs. If she was home why couldn’t she have picked her up!?
“What the hell mom?”
“Sweetie, we need to talk real quick.”
Her mothers eyes were swollen and her voice was cracking.
“Where is Dad?”
“Baby that is who we have to talk about.”
She dropped her bag on the floor and ran past her mother and up the stairs ignoring her mothers calls for her to hold on a moment and let her explain.
She threw open the door to her parents room and stood frozen. Instead of their king sized bed was a hospital bed, the entire room looked wrong. There were machines everywhere, but the worst thing of all was her father lying in bed with a sad smile on his face.
“Daddy?”
“Hey Princess, we have to talk.”