Starstruck

Part One
Hogwarts, the private school that I go to, is almost never quiet. There’s always the soft ticking of a clock, or my idiot sibling and his friends running around causing a ruckus.

Tick

Tick

Tick

At the moment, I was in the library, vigorously making out with my boyfriend-but-not-really, Severus. We had been ‘dating’ for the past year, barely two months after I had come out to the school and everyone learned I was gay.

Severus still wasn’t out yet.

Tick

Tick

Tick

Beep!

Beep!

There’s the first bell.

I pull away from the kiss, muttering, “I need to go.” under my breath.

“That was only the first bell, Regulus.” Severus protests.

“I know, I’m sorry.” I apologize, before turning and walking out of the door.

I sigh and pull the slip of paper that I’ve been obsessing over since I received it out of my backpack.

NEW CLASS GROUPS!

Dear Regulus Black, 

From the beginning of January, all students at Hogwarts will be placed in new ‘vertical class groups’ for registration at 8:30 am and 2:05 pm every day. Each vertical class will contain 5-6 students from each year group.

New class: Maths 4

Class room: A14

Please attend registration in your new vertical class group from the start of the new term in January.

Thank you,

Principal Dumbledore

I have this letter practically memorized, and yet it still causes me so much anxiety. I’m very introverted, I’ve only really got three close friends, and even worse, none of them are even in the class with me. I have Flitwick, Remus has McGonagall, and Evan and Barty have Slughorn together. 

Lucky bastards.

I sigh again and begin to walk to class in room A14. The hallways are loud, as always. Students chatting with each other and other shenanigans. I’m used to it.

I yawn. I stayed up too late last night panicking. Sirius thinks I’m being mental, but Sirius can’t be talking. They’re always being mental.

Finally, I reach the classroom and I give myself a quick mental talking-to, then I take a deep breath and push open the door. 

“Well if it isn’t Regulus Black! Did you have a good break?” Mr. Flitwick immediately asks. He was one of the teachers who I was closer with, so he knew more about me than some others.

Regardless, I lie effortlessly, “It was brilliant! What about yours?”

“It was lovely. Spent time with my wife and cat.”

Now, you must know that Mr. Flitwick is about a meter plus some tall, and his wife is almost two meters tall, so it’s quite funny to picture him snuggled up with his wife.

Yes, I have met both of them.

“That sounds lovely.” I tell him. 

“It was. Now, let’s see where I have you…” Mr. Flitwick looks down at his seating chart. “Ah! You’re over by James Potter. He’s in year eleven, so only a year ahead of you!”

Fuck.

James Potter was Sirius’s best friend. James Potter was Sirius’s right hand man… or the other way around, I’m never quite sure. James Potter was the boy I had been crushing on since three years ago when Sirius came home after the first day of school, ranting about his new best mate, and how brilliant he was. 

James Potter was the boy I definitely didn’t have pictures of under my pillow.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

James Potter was my gay awakening.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fUCK, FUCK, FUCK.

Remus, Evan and Barty will get a kick out of this.

I glance back over at Mr. Flitwick, but he’s already talking to a different student.

Well, shit.

I move over to sit next to James, who smiles at me like the golden retriever he acts like.

“Hi! I’m James! James Potter. You’re Regulus, right? Sirius’s brother?” James says excitedly.

“Yep.” I respond, popping the ‘p’. I begin to pull my notebook out of my bag. I thought it was the notebook that has all of my ‘sad boy poetry’ in it, as every single one of my friends and my brother like to call it.

It’s actually my notebook with (very gay) hymns to James. My friends have read through my other notebook (which, I will admit, does reflect on the meaning of life quite a lot) but so far, I’ve managed to keep this notebook pretty secret. 

I quickly shove it back into my backpack. I meant to grab my Sad Boy Poetry notebook, not my Gay Thoughts notebook.

This is fine. Absolutely, completely, and totally fine.

Part Two

The rest of that class period passes fairly uneventfully, besides an incident when James “accidentally” reads over my shoulder and compliments my poem.

It’s a poem about the ups and downs of life, and the struggles of coming out, but James seems to appreciate one particular stanza:

It’s like the sun coming up,

in a way.

You expect the warmth,

but once it reaches its peak,

you get burned by its spitefulness

I suppose it’s alright, but some of my other poems are much better. When he compliments it, though, I feel a sudden rush of heat in my cheeks and try my absolute hardest to hide my blush.

Thank god this man is about as observant as a brick wall. 

Finally, after the most agonizing thirty minutes of my life, form group is over and I am released to go to my first period, which is English with Ms. Minerva McGonagall.

I actually rather like her, though many other students find her scary and intimidating. I’d been going to talk to her during lunch last year when the bullying was really bad, since she was the only openly gay teacher at my school. She ended up getting the bullies sorted out (they’re still doing community service hours and detentions), and we’ve remained relatively close since then. I’ll still come in sometimes when I don’t want to talk to my friends.

Since today is the first day after break, she doesn’t assign us anything (thank god), but she does inform us that we will be doing a project beginning later this week, so it might be good to start brushing up on Hamlet.

Finally, after the longest and most agonizing first-day-back, we’re dismissed to go home, which means waiting for Sirius to stop chatting with their mates so we can catch the bus back to Andromeda’s together. 

Unfortunately, this takes longer than usual, since Sirius hasn’t seen James or Peter throughout the entirety of break, which is practically an eternity for them.

Eventually, I end up just texting them.

The Gay and The They

2:47 PM

Gay: OI

Gay: I WANNA GO HOME YOU FUCKER

They: awwww

They: cant we just stay for a bit longer

Gay: how are you older than me

Gay: you’re literally a child

Gay: anyway i’m by the gate and if you’re not here in two minutes you’re gonna be reported

They: TO ANDROMEDA

They: ?!?!?!?!?!

Gay: yes so hurry tf up

They: fineeeee

I smile softly, then tuck the phone back into my uniform pocket. Not even Sirius would risk the wrath of  a pregnant Andromeda.

Sure enough, about a minute later, Sirius comes jogging up behind me, panting like a dog.

“Were you playing rugby again?” I ask.

“I was until you so rudely threatened me.” Sirius groans and doubles over, breathing heavily.

“Oh well.”

I turn away from the school and begin walking towards the bus station, Sirius slowly walking behind me. 

Sirius is… hard to describe. They’ve got shoulder-length black hair, which they often style into a bun, and still somehow managed to make the white button down, red and yellow tie, and black sweater vest that their Hogwarts uniform consists of, look good on them.

Sirius is one of those people who demands attention, even at their height of 1.75 meters, their presence always seemed to turn eyes towards them, no matter what they were doing.

They were definitely the most prominent Black sibling, and I was glad they were. I didn’t want that attention, and Sirius deserved it.

When we reach the bus stop, we’re just in time. The bus is just pulling up. Sirius and I step on and sit down, then we wait for the thirty-minute long bus ride to end.

I pulled out my phone to text “The Dudes” as Barty liked to call us.

People I Tolerate

2:56 PM

Braincell #2: ABORT MISSION

Braincell #1: excuse me?

Braincell #2: I’M SAT NEXT TO JAMES POTTER IN MY FORM CLASS

Dumbass #1: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Dumbass #2: that is unfortunate

Braincell #1: guys c’mon really?

Braincell #1: what happened reg?

Dumbass #1: remusssss you always ruin all the funnnnnnn

Dumbass #2: yeah rem we love bullying reg

Braincell #1: hey reg you wanna just go over on our private chat?

Braincell #2: ooh yeah that sounds great

Dumbass #2: NOOOOO WERE SORRYYYYYY

Braincell #1: be nicer to regulus then

Braincell #1: like I’m all for bullying him just not at this moment yk

Dumbass #1: FINE 😠

Dumbass #1: BE LIKE THAT 😡

Braincell #2: so do you wanna know what happened or am I just supposed to sit here??

Braincell #2: (im just ignoring the fact that you were talking about bullying me)

Dumbass #2: TELL US!!!

Braincell #2: so BASICALLY

Braincell #2: i walked into class

Braincell #2: and i chatted with flitwick for a bit

Dumbass #1: BORINGGG 

Dumbass #1: TEACHERS PET

Braincell #1: OI!

Dumbass #2:continuing on with reggies drama

Braincell #2: THANK you evan

Dumbass #2: yupppp

Braincell #2: ANYWAY, i finished talking to flitwick

Braincell #2: and then i asked him where i sit

Braincell #2: AND HE POINTS TO THE SEAT NEXT TO JAMES

Braincell #1: oof.

Braincell #2: and then we talked

Dumbass #2: YOU TALKED TO HIM

Braincell #2: yup

Braincell #2: aren’t you proud of me

Braincell #1: YES!!!

Dumbass #1: YES GO MY GAY KING 👑🏳️‍🌈

Braincell #2: so we talked a bit

Braincell #2: and he’s definitely straight

Dumbass #2: oh reg…

Braincell #1: you alright?

Braincell #2: i think so

Braincell #2: def gonna talk to him more tomorrow though

Braincell #2: probably

Dumbass #1: hey good luck 🤞

Braincell #1: want something to feel better?

“Reg, we’re here.” Sirius interrupts, standing up and brushing off the invisible dust on his uniform. Regulus stands too, puts his phone in his pocket, and grabs his school bag. They walk off of the bus and into Andromeda’s house. 

“Dromeda! We’re home!” Sirius shouts up the stairs. Ted comes running into the room from the kitchen, face flushed. 

“She’s asleep. Be quiet please.” Ted whispers.

“Ah.” Sirius murmurs.

“How was school?” Ted asks.

“Good.” Regulus responds. Severe overstatement.

“Any homework?” Ted raises an eyebrow.

“No.” Regulus answers, “Might go over to Remus’s later if you’re okay with it.”

“That sounds fine. What about you, Sirius?” Ted leads Sirius into the kitchen, probably for some food. Regulus puts his bag down, grabs his laptop and book, then walks up the stairs to his room.

His room is much more decorated than it was at Grimmauld Place. He has book posters on the soft green walls. His bed is simple. Twin sized with grey pillows and a grey comforter, and on the wall above it are polaroids of Evan, Barty, Remus and himself. In the corner by his window is the space where he practices his viola, and on the wall next to that are rows and rows of books. Across from his bed is his closet/dresser. In the corner adjacent to where he practices, there is a cut out from his library where his desk is. That’s where he puts his book and laptop.

Then he flops down onto his bed and pulls out his phone, logging into a disturbing text from Evan:

Dumbass #2: remus if you wanna fuck regulus all you gotta do is ask

Braincell #1: EVAN LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK

Braincell #1: THERE WAS NO REASON FOR YOU TO SAY THAT

Dumbass #2: you gave me the opportunity

Dumbass #1: u kinda did

Braincell #2: I GET OFF MY PHONE FOR TWO SECONDS

Braincell #2: I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS

Braincell #2: (but remus ill fuck you if you want)

Dumbass #1: I SHIP 🚢

Dumbass #2: I SECOND

Braincell #1: i… need better friends

Dumbass #2: NO REM DONT LEAVE US

Dumbass #2: WE WOULD BE DEAD IN THE WILDERNESS WITHOUT YOU

Braincell #1: you deserve to be dead in the wilderness.

Dumbass #1: RUDE

Dumbass #1: REGULUS BACK US UP

Braincell #2: you deserve to be dead in the wilderness

Braincell #1: THANK YOU!

Dumbass #2: betrayal

Dumbass #1: 🔪🔪🔪

Braincell #1: i was gonna invite you over for a movie night but i guess only regulus is allowed now

Braincell #2: i can be there in ten?

Braincell #1: *liked a message*

Dumbass #1: NO REMUS PLEASE I LOVE YOUR MUMS COOKING 🥺🙏

Braincell #1: you’re just using me to get to my mums cooking

Braincell #1: i see how this works

Dumbass #1: THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

Braincell #2: rem he’s definitely using you for your mums cooking

Braincell #2: oh btw can Sirius come?

Braincell #2: i think they’re bored

Braincell #2: like obviously ill ask them before confirming anything

Braincell #2: but i think they wanna hang out with someone

Braincell #2: and James has rugby

Braincell #1: oh yeah sirius can come

Dumbass #2: WAIT ARE WE GONNA FINALLY MEET REGULUS’S SIBLING

Braincell #2: wait i forgot you haven’t met them yet

Dumbass #1: WEVE ONLY BEEN FRIENDS FOR THREE YEARS 👺👺👺

Braincell #1: HOLY SHIT WAIT I FORGOT I HAVENT MET YOUR ELUSIVE SIBLING YET REGULUS

Braincell #1: YES YOUD BETTER FUCKING BRING THEM

Braincell #2: well in that case ill be there in like thirty minutes

Braincell #2: istg this thing never knows what to wear

Braincell #1: did you just…

Braincell #1: refer to your sibling as a THING

Braincell #2: yes

Braincell #2: anyway i gtg and make sure Sirius wants to come

Braincell #1: see you at mine

Dumbass #1: SEE YOU REG AND HIS MYSTERIOUS SIBLING THATS NAMED SIRIUS PROBABLY

Dumbass #1: wait remus you were kidding about just regulus coming over right

Braincell #1: yes dumbass

Dumbass #2: he’s living up to his name

Braincell #1: i’ll see you later, mums calling me down bc she doesn’t know what kind of cookie to make

Dumbass #1: CHOCOLATE CHIP

Regulus smiles softly, then stands and changes out of his school uniform into a dark green sweatshirt and jeans, along with his black All-Stars. He grabs his book from his desk, because he’s sure that Evan and Barty will end up trying to film a video and he will have to put on his resting bitch face.

He opens his door and walks over to Sirius’s room, knocking twice. When Sirius doesn’t answer, he pushes the door open and sure enough, Sirius is flopped on their bed with their headphones on full volume, listening to what sounds like Changes by David Bowie and typing up a storm on their phone.

“Sirius?” Regulus asks, louder than he usually would, but not quite yelling. Sirius doesn’t respond, instead they bob their head to the music, mouthing the words.

Regulus sighs and picks up one of the many wrinkled shirts on Sirius’s floor, then flings it at his sibling. Sirius looks up with a start, then pulls off their headphones.

“Rude.” They put their phone down.

“Do you wanna come over to Remus’s with me? Finally meet him?” Regulus asks bluntly.

Sirius blushes.

“Uh… sure?” They mumble, “Let me get dressed.”

“Okay. I’m leaving in thirty minutes, and if you’re not downstairs by then, I’ll leave you.” Regulus says, then he turns and walks down the stairs.