The Day Papyrus Taught You Something
Another reason you will always love Papyrus is because of how innocent and loving he is, for some reason being the complete opposite of his brother. He even helped explain monster magic, which is what happened during you(r) and Sans…. um encounter. Explaining why you wanted to know was the hard part, you made some half ass lie and tried to focus on the question.
“WELL YES HYPOTHETICALLY I COULD USE MAGIC ON YOUR SOUL, BUT I DOUBT I WOULD NEED TO”
“thanks pap, that's very comforting to know”
You gave him a fake smile, and continued to help make dinner. Today pap saw a recipe for seafood gumbo and wanted your help making some, just as your phone rang you heard the front door open. You picked it up with your clean hand placing it between your shoulder and ear, just as Sans had walked into the room.
David:“....hey what are you doing tonight!!!!!”
It was David you and him have been hanging out a lot more, some type of form of dating.
“yo pap I got the beans from Undyne on my way here, it's in the trunk”
“OH GOODIE”
“yeah, but I'm bone tired think you can go get it”
“BROTHER ARE YOU JUST TO LAZY TO GET THEM?”
“shhh I'm on the phone”
“...who's she talkin to??”
“SANS ARE YOU BLIND, SHE'S TALKING TO DAVID”
“who??”
“HER NEW BOY TOY”
Oh god please Papyrus let's not describe him as a “boy toy”.
“oh yea, well you should go get it before the beans start cookin”
“SANS THE BEANS AREN'T GOING TO COOK JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE IN A HOT CAR”
“I don't know paps it's probably bean done before”
“UGH”
With all his different jobs Sans had kept busy, meaning he had less time to bother you. But every now and then he’d catch you off guard, and manage to scare you or something dumb like that. But for some reason he has been very calm about the whole David thing, and anytime you mentioned him Sans would get that know-it-all grin on his face, to be honest it was starting to piss you off.
As soon as pap was out the kitchen, Sans had snuck his arms around your hips his skull rubbing on your lower back.
“aww was daddy not paying enough attention to you, is that why you went off to your ‘boy toy’ heh”
You swatted at him away with a hot spoon, going back to talk on the phone.
“ yeah that sounds great do you want me to drive there, or can you pick me up?”
David:“I can but I mi…”
You couldn't hear him due to something strange running up your shorts, whatever it is it was was slimy,long, and wrapping around your entire lower body very slowly.
“sans fuck off”
“hmm what was that, daddy couldn't hear you. You might want to speak a up”
Whatever was crawling up your legs, suddenly tightened, causing you to whimper into the phone.
David: “whoa you okay?”
That asshole was doing this to humiliate you.
“y...yeah so tonight at eight right?”
David: “um yeah so see yah?”
“ok…”
You hung up slamming your phone down in irritation, just as what you guessed Sans magic had reached your chest, wrapping around you squeezing just enough to make you squeak.
“aww done talking to your boy toy, it was so cute the way you tried to hide your sexy voice just to be polite. Which means you haven't gotten anywhere…”
“SANS ONE OF THE BAGS HAD A HOLE IN THEM, SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK YOUR CAR JUST TO BE SAFE”
Slowly his magic retreated off your skin, agonizingly slow you might add. You had to cover your mouth just to keep from making any weird sounds as they disappeared.
“heh oh well call me when you've gotten over your boy toy Derrick”
Making an asshole of an exit, leaving you once again feeling mentally exhausted.
“it's David!!!!”
But he had already zapped to some other place, his blue flash coming and fading.
“ThAt Asshole”
You slammed the spoon down causing some of the soup to splatter on you. As a very confused papyrus walked in, setting down the very large bag of beans.
“___ I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT TYPE OF LANGUAGE WILL NOT FIX ANYTHING”
You let out a heavy sigh, trying to wipe off the stain on your shirt, Mumbling things to try to stay calm.
“WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME YOUR PROBLEM, AND MAYBE WE CAN FIX IT”
As much as you wanted to tell him that the problem was his brain dead brother, and the only solution would involve a lot of duct tape and a dark hole you just didn't have it in you to say it.
“thanks pap, but I think I can handle it”
You gave him a smile, trying to brush it off. But today papyrus just wasn't having it, you were about to leave the kitchen when a gloved hand touched your shoulder.
“___ I'm not as naive as everyone thinks i am, I do know a lot of what goes on. And as much as I try to stay out of it, if Sans is really bothering you I'll talk to him alright”
You have never actually seen papyrus, so….serious he really wanted to look out for you,another reason why you will always love Papyrus.
“I really appreciate that pap…. thanks I can always rely on you”
“OF COURSE, YOU CAN ALWAYS TALK TO ME, I MAY NOT HAVE EARS BUT I AM A GREAT LISTENER NEH”
“ heh Pap was that a joke?”
You gave him a sly smile, knowing how much he “said” he hated jokes.
“NO Y-YOU ARE WRONG, I-I MUST TEND TO MY GARDEN EXCUSE ME”
He ran out the room even forgetting his apron was on.
As you mulled over what papyrus said and realized, the problem isn't just one way you are also part of why you and Sans go off at each other. He'd pull some prank on you, while you plan the next one at him and you end up angry. If it was really bothering you then why didn't you ever do something to stop it, like just talk to him.
“yeah next time, I see him I'll fix this”
Time skip mother fuckers
You finished getting dressed, put on something simple and was walking down the hallway when you heard something shuffle in Sans room. You knocked to see if he was in there but no one answered, strange but you just chalked it up to the fact he was sleeping.
Oh well.
David was outside (and late), so you wrote the address on a sticky note and left, The silent house seeming strange.
David “alright are you ready to party!!!”
“no I came in here to buy illegal goldfish, let's go drummer boy”
David “dang join one rock band get labelled for life huh”
“yep”
On the way you talked about what to and what never to do at a party, but to you David seemed a little off. He seemed distracted mentally, and when you asked him about it he said it was his job getting him down who knows maybe we both needed this party.