What I do

Chapter one:

Ian groaned as the loud, annoying knocks filled his apartment. He looked to his side and his bed was empty and he sighed in relief. His hangover pounding against his skull. He really shouldn't have gotten so drunk last night. But who was there to care anymore. Caleb was gone, Mickey was in jail and probably hated his guts. So who gave a damn if he took one night out to enjoy himself before going back to being his own boring medicated self?

He swung the door open and felt his jaw hang open. There in his doorway stood a frantic Svetlana, holding a little Yevgeny in her arms.

“Lana? What's going on?” He asks as she brushed past him.

“They are taking me away. You hide the boy. He can't go. He won't survive it.” He says the tears begging to slip down her face.

“What!? Who?” He asked.

“Immigration.” She says while sitting her son on the couch as he curls up against the pillow.

“But you're married…to…a citizen…” He says not wanting to say his name.

“He's in jail. Don't matter. Not married long enough. They take me away.” She says.

“Oh god. Can't you marry someone else?” He asks.

“Who? Who's gonna marry me? I'm not marrying some jackass and becoming whore again. I'm out. I don't…I can't.” She shook slightly.

“You married Mickey.” He says.

“Yeah but he's rainbow boy. Didn't have to sleep with him. They never questioned it because of baby.” She says.

“Fuck.” He says looking at the boy.

“If they take you, they take him don't they?” He asks. “If they find him, they'll put him in the system won't they?” He asks and she nods.

“If I leave him here. And they find out. Yes. If Mickey wasn’t…but he can't take care of him.”

“Fucking fuck.” He says pulling her into a hug. “I'll fix it. It's okay Lana. I'll fix this for you.”

“How?” She asks holding onto him.
---

Mickey looked at his divorce papers and signed then with little thought about it. It wasn't the papers that scared him, he never really wanted to be married in the first place. It was the reason that terrified him, Lana was setting him free but she informed him that immigration was on her ass and that meant her going back to Russia, with his son. His son who he liked to pretend he didn't give a damn about. His son who despite how he came into this world, he loved and he felt himself break.

“When…when are they going to…take you and my son…” He shakes looking at her from across the table.

“I'm not going anywhere. I get married…soon.” She says looking at the lawyer, obviously not wanting to say what was going on. “Fell in love.” She's lying, he can see it in her eyes. Her eyes are begging for him to know that she is doing this to stay here. Why she cares what he thinks about her love life is beyond him.

“Who? Who's my son's new father? Who's going to replace me?” He says a little angrily. Not quite meaning to. He knew by her face that whoever she was marrying, it wasn't like that but it didn't stop his mind from going there. That another man would be there for his son like he couldn't be. All because of his own stupidity. Svetlana looked at him intensely, as if she wanted to say something that she couldn't say in front of prying lawyers and guards. He couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't her usual angry scowl.

“Man loves Yevgeny as his own. Always has, but he not take your place. Promises to tell Yevvy about his daddy. Promises to take care of us for you.” She says lightly and he doesn't know how but in that moment he knows. Always has. That's what gets him.

“No…” He whispers. And she nods. She doesn't say his name but he really doesn't need to hear it. He knows. She's marrying Ian, his Ian. And he doesn't know what to say about it. It doesn't know how to feel about it. Ian, who had freaked out when he himself had married the woman. Ian, who walked away from him, and had found someone else. But still, his Ian who he loved and who was completely not into women. He was doing this for Yevgeny and Lana and a little hope in his heart wondered if it was a little for him too.

“I have to go now. I bring boy to see you, soon.” She says and he nods. “Tell him…tell him…” He can't say it. How will it sound? Tell him thank you. Tell him I love him. “Give Yev a kiss for me.” He says finally and she nods and he knows she understands.

--

“Are you sure?” Svetlana asks Ian.

“Of course. I'm sure. We agreed. You and Yev move in here. We’ll get married, INS will come visit, constantly. And to them we will seem like a perfect, happily married couple and a family. We're already a family anyway. And it'll be fine. We'll stay married as long as it takes to keep you here.” He says smiling at her.

“What about you? You'll be stuck…back in closet. You hate that.” She says sadly.

“Yes. But this isn't the same. It isn't me hiding. It isn't the man I love hiding because he's scared, this is me, doing the right thing. The right thing is for you to be here, for Yev to be close to his dad and being able to see him. Mickey might pretend he doesn't care but he loves that little boy, I know he does and losing him right now would kill him after everything I've done. And you can make sure I stay level and all that shit. Besides, I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon.” He says.

“What about boyfriend? He okay with keeping a low profile?” She asks.

“I don't have a boyfriend anymore. It was a nice boring distraction for a while but it's been over for months. I want to do this Lana. For you, for Yev.”

“And for Mickey?” She asks.

“Yes. And for Mickey. Because what I did…was unfair. He just wanted to love me, take care of me and I shut him out. I won't ever forgive myself for that. But this is something I can do. This is something that was taken away from him that I can give him back. His son.” He says. And she nods.

“Okay. Then. I'll move in, we’ll get married and thank you. From all of us. Mickey wanted to say it too but he couldn't. Lawyers watching like hawk. But I saw it in his eyes.” She says. And he nods at her.

--

It takes some getting used to but Svetlana and Yevgeny living with him is a little conforting, like remembering the past. It's weird to have a woman's things in his closet and in his house. But it's nice. A few months in and they have a schedule for taking care of Yevgeny. It feels almost real, to be like this, if Mickey were here, sharing his bed it would be perfect. For a while, they take turns sleeping on the couch, but hiding blankets and pillows becomes a hassle so they agree until INS backs off, they share the room. Most of the time, Ian makes a place on the floor or sometimes Lana does when she thinks the floor is too rough on him, but sometimes, nights like this, when Lana notices him crying in his sleep she gets up on the bed and pulls him to her.

She whispers kind things in his ears and tells him that it's okay. That Mickey is thinking of him too and that it will work out. She is kind like that sometimes. She soothes him with old memories of before. Reminding him of how in love they were and that it doesn't just go away. She gets up in the morning to make him food and get his meds for him. And he loves her for it. For being so kind, even after everything. And sometimes, on mornings like this one, when he's in the shower trying to wash his tear-stained face, he wonders how he ever hated her. Because she understands, his love for Mickey, and how much he hates himself for walking away from him. And he understands how important it is for this to work for her.

He groans when there's a knock at the door. It's never good when there's a knock. It's rarely his family, but when it is they're there with their opinions, and annoying accusations, Mandy understands at least but she isn't there, she only calls. And when it isn't his family, its INS and the guy that visits is really an asshole. Trying to trip them up. Trying to make them admit that it's all for show and that they aren't a happy couple in love and it pisses him off.

Lana answers the door in an old T-shirt of Ian’s, she does that now. He gave her some old shirts. They both agreed that it looked more like they were a couple, and the first time she opened the door to the agent staring at her, they knew it was the right decision. And here he is again. The asshole standing in the doorway. Ian had just come out of the bathroom in a towel, and Lana was there in his shirt. And Yevgeny was playing with his toys on the floor.

“Come in. Come in.” She says smiling. She turns to Ian with her best fake-wife smile. “Oh honey, you better get dressed. This poor man doesn't need to see all of that.” She says sickly sweet and he wants to burst out laughing. She ushers him lightly and smacks him on the ass for show, and it takes everything he has not to flip her off. He gets dressed and then she goes to pull some pants on and they sit on the couch. Ian pulls Yev into his lap and the little boy smiles and keeps playing with the toy in his hand.

“Settling in, I see?” The man eyes Ian, and it creeps him out. He does that, to both of them. Like he's trying to pull something out of them, get them to slip up. They don't because of so many reasons. Mostly because he's creepy and gross and also because how stupid does this guy think they are. They're good at faking it.

“Mhm. We are. Married life with Lana and Yev is everything I could have ever wanted. Happy to have found them.” He says. Only half a lie. He does love them, they are family.

“And you met through her ex-husband is that right?” He asks and Ian stills for a moment. He was waiting for this asshole to try that. It wasn't exactly a secret that he and Mickey had been together, someone was bound to talk, probably Frank to be honest.

“Mhm. Mickey and I grew up together.” He says.

“A bit more than that, wasn't it?” The man asks.

“They are very close. We all are.” She says glaring at the man.

“Yes, it seems. Didn't Mr. Milkovich admit to being your boyfriend, when you were hospitalized?” The man asks and Ian doesn't know what to say to that really.

“I suppose he did, why?” Ian asks.

“If he was your boyfriend..then how is that you are now supposedly in love with his ex-wife. We all know that marriage was bullshit, how am I supposed to believe this isn't a green card marriage like that last one?” He says knowingly.

“First of all. My marriage to Mickey was nothing of the sort. He is the father of my son. We got married because of the baby, yes, but we grew to love each other in a way. It just wasn't working with him in jail and all. So what if he had…certain fascinations. We happen to have the same taste in men.” She shrugs.

“So your first husband was gay and now what?” He asks.

“Are you saying you understand anything about anything? My husband likes men sometimes. I like women sometimes. That against your rules?” She asks sternly and he seems to have to think of an answer.

“You’re saying, you're both bisexual. But not gay. That this is a real marriage. That you and him…” He stops himself and Ian sees Lana roll her eyes. While half of it may be true. Lana seems to have a liking for both men and women, he's never asked which she actually prefers, but he certainly has no interest in women at all. Not like he's going to say that to this asshole.

“Mhm. We are open and honest about our past relationships. We have decided to be faithful to each other, and not be with anyone else but each other doesn't erase our interests or our past. Lana is my wife now.”

“And you’re saying that Svetlana is the only person of either gender you are sleeping with? If you are in fact sleeping with her.”

“That's what I'm saying. I get it. You don't understand. But we do and unless any of this, violates your rules. There is nothing more to say on the matter.” Ian says and Lana smiles and leans her head on his shoulder for good measure.

“I see. May I look around the house?” He asks and Lana shrugs.

“Of course. As always. Go ahead.” She says rolling her eyes. By now there really isn't anything he could find.

--

“How are you?” Lana asks Mickey as she sits in a room with him.

“Shitty. Thought you were bringing the boy?” He says and she nods.

“He's here. Out in waiting room with husband.” She says and he stares at her and leans in.

“Ian’s here?” He asks, his throat is dry.

“Yes. INS guy asked about you two.” She says simply.

“Fuck. How'd that go? Are you here to tell me, you’re getting shipped off?” He asks shaking a little and she chuckles.

“No, told him we're all bi.” And he shakes his head.

“Oh god.” He puts his head on the table.

“No big deal. We all like to fuck everyone but we are faithful now, changed.” She says nodding and he looks up.

“That work?”

“We're convincing couple. He doesn't believe us but he's an asshole. Think he wants in Orange boys pants.” She says shrugging and he glares and seems to get a little angry.

“Don't worry. He's gross and I'll cut his centimeter peter off before he lays a hand on my husband.” She says crossing her arms and Mickey shakes his head.

“You growing fond of him?” He asks eyeing her.

“Of course. We're friends. He's good to Yev. Good to us. His shit taste in men, aside.” She says winking at him.

“Is he coming in or just Yev?” He asks curiously.

“Up to you. He can come in, but you be careful. Longing rainbow looks are forbidden.” She says smiling lightly.

“Last time I checked, he could barely look at me. I think it'll be fine.” He says, not entirely sure of the words coming out of his mouth.

“Be nice to him. He has rough time, sometimes.” She says and he doesn't ask because he's afraid of what that means. It isn't long before he sees the flash of red coming into the room with his son and he can't help but smile at that. He looks a little better in some ways from the last time he was here and a little worse in others. Ian hands the baby off to Svetlana and stands for a minute. Mickey notices he places a hand on her shoulder before he turns to go.

“You running away already?” Mickey asks and Ian turns back around.

“Um, didn't want to interrupt family time.” He says.

“Eh, have a seat. Think it's time I get to know my ex-wife's new hubby, huh?” He jokes and Ian shakes his head but sits down.

“So…what are your intentions with my ex-wife?” He says.

Ian laughs deeply and Mickey closes his eyes to feel it. He hadn't heard that laugh in so long, and it's beautiful. He's a little jealous of his ex-wife right now. She has his perfect family and he wants to escape this place and have it too. Fifteen years…well fourteen and some change, still, fuck…

“And then that bitch showed up at my door,” Lana says and Ian laughs.

“Fiona? Really. Not a fan huh?” Mickey asks and Ian shakes his head.

“They do not get along at all. Fiona thinks I'm being reckless and manic. Then again, I didn't exactly explain it to her.” He says laughing.

“Wait…she thinks…oh man…you better watch out…she's gonna have you committed.” Mickey laughs and it feels so good and he's angry when the guard gives the warning sign.

“Fuck. Okay. I guess. Bye?” Mickey says sadly.

“Hey…” Ian reaches out and touches his hand and they both pull back but Mickey smiles because only his Ian would do that. Not the Ian that abandoned him.

“I'll come back…we will all comeback. As often as we can. Right buddy?” Ian says looking at the boy in Lana's lap who nods.

And Mickey nods.

--

Ian is at work when he’s approached by Caleb for the first time in months and he rolls his eyes. Ian is currently working at a car dealership. Well, it's both a car dealership and a garage. The place is cool as hell. Way to ruin a good day by your ex-showing up to annoy you.

“Ian.” Caleb greets next to some blonde thing and Ian nods.

“Hi, Caleb. What brings you in today?” He asks.

“Mm. Gabe here was looking to buy a car. Ian this is Gabe, my boyfriend, Gabe…Ian.” Ian nods. And calls over one of the sales reps to sell a car to Gabe.

“Nice. Got ya a loaded one huh?” Ian says smiling. No hostility in his voice because he doesn't really care. There's only one ex that can spike jealousy inside of him and said Ex is sitting behind bars.

“Yeah, he's nice. How are you?” Caleb asks.

“Good. Good. Working to pay bills and feed the family. Same shit. Ya know?” He says dismissively because what's he supposed to say. Work to pay bills, feed my stepson and wife and to drive to the prison every so often to see the man that still takes my breath away.

“Back at home already?” Caleb asks smirking and that annoys him. Caleb always did think he was better than him, better than the south side. Well, fuck him.

“Nah. Nah. Still at my apartment.” He says.

“Oh? Just figured since you said..nevermind. How's living alone then?” He asks.

“M’not,” Ian says. And he doesn't know why he does it but he holds up his hand to display his wedding ring.

“Married?” Caleb asks.

“Mhm,” Ian says

“Oh. Well. Congratulations? I guess. Thought you were still hung up on your ex. Guess not huh?” Ian doesn't really respond to that because he is still hung up on Mickey. And he always will be he assumes. And it's stupid to be petty but Caleb’s holier than thou shit is pissing him off.

“Hmm. Your husband know about you still being in love with your incarcerated thug?” He asks.

“There are no secrets in my relationship.” He says honestly. Avoiding the assumption that he was married to a man, and he doesn't want to think about what man he would like to be married to.

“Good for you. I'm gonna go…over there.” Caleb says and takes off and Ian sighs. Thank fuck.
--

“No,” Svetlana says

“Free foooood.” Ian says smiling

“Free my ass. Gallagher family dinner can bite my ass.” She says.

“You sound like Mickey.” He laughs.

“Mickey is a smart man. Pariahs the lot of them. You ever gonna tell them, this is fake? If you don't they're gonna have you committed.” She says, echoing Mickey’s words.

“Fuck em. They would be this way either way. Who cares what they think.” He says.

“Then why family dinner?” She asks.

“Dunno. I like freaking them out and besides the fact that I got a wife before Lip, amuses me to no end for some reason.” He laughs. “Speaking of people freaking out, ran into Caleb.”

“Ew. No offense, but why did you date him?”

“Wanted normal…I guess.”

“You know if Mickey would have been out when you dated him, he would have killed him, and honestly, I would love to see that.” She says.

“Behave Lana. If you and Mick are both in jail, for attempted murder, we're screwed.” He says.

“And nobody in a good way.” She laughs at her own joke. “Much like now.” She says frowning.

“Funny. You know…you could…you know go out and get laid, Lans…” He says

“And so could you orange boy.” She says.

“Nah. I'm in a…drought. Every time I think about sex, I think about Mickey….stupid meds evening out, fucked up my game bad.” He laughs.

“We could just have sex.” She says and waits.

“I just threw up.” He says

“Still afraid of vagina? It doesn't bite.” She says laughing:

“You don't know that. Gross.” He says shuttering.

“Poor gay boy.”

“I'm scarred for life now. Oh god. Now I need to go look at porn. I need to see dicks. Beautiful dicks.”

“Or….you could go visit…ex-husband. You may not be able to fuck him, but I'm sure it'll cheer you up.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“You think that's a good idea?” He says.

“Who cares. You've been sad lately. Let him cheer you up. Then we stay up until 2 am talking about boys. No more talk of lady parts. Only sexy boy parts. I promise.” She says laughing and he nods.

“Okay…yeah. I'll do that.” He says smiling. “You know…me and you like this. It's weird, right? Talking about Mickey openly like this…and it being okay that…you know?” He says.

“Nah. It's good. We understand each other, friends. And someday when my first husband and second husband get their shit together and decide to have big gay wedding, I better be somebody's best person.” She says and winks at him.

“Lana….” He warns. “We aren't…it's not…”

“Shhh. Now. You listen to wife now. You and angry man are…fucking perfect. So it's hard. He's in jail and you're crazy, who gives a shit. Mark my words…it will happen. You can't keep your dicks away from each other for too long. If he wasn't in jail, you would have fucked your way back together months ago.” She says and turns to walk back into their room.

And he shakes his head and wonders if maybe she's right.