be my muse (I'm yours)
It is past four in the morning and Maki's shivering from the chill set deep into her bones. A long-finished mug of coffee is set at the end of her desk, and her vision blurs as she squints at the pages haphazardly spread across the desk. Maki knows that she is the only one awake in her household right now, had heard the maids do a round of the house a couple of hours before, had listened to the quiet hum of nothingness before slipping from bed and switching her lamp back on.
Maki knows that if the other µs members could see her now, they'd disapprove of her swapping precious sleep for more time spent on song-writing. Except, Maki really wants to do this. She had finished the melody and accompaniment days ago, the chipper tune coming to mind easily as she pictured the cardigan-clad form of her girlfriend at the forefront of her mind. Writing the melody isn't the hard part, not with so much inspiration at her fingertips and the forefront of her memory, not with memories of Nico's laughter ringing in her ears.
What's difficult about this particular song are the lyrics.
This isn't a µs song. Maki can't go to the others to ask for inspiration and help. She wouldn't want to go to the others – it'd defeat the purpose of the whole idea.
This is a song for Nico, a song for Maki to capture every inch of what she feels for the tiny girl with a louder than life personality, a song for Maki to discard her embarrassment and attempt to capture every inch of what she feels for her girlfriend who thinks she doesn't notice her disappointment when she fails to match her lovey-dovey actions with her own. Maki's always been able to let go of any inhibitions through song, through the liberating feeling of notes in the air and passion in her fingers, and perhaps that's why she's struggling.
It's terrifying, Maki acknowledges with a frown at her many scribbles, how with music you bare your soul for the world to see. It's raw, genuine and exciting.
Eyes slipping shut, Maki reflects.
Nico knows Maki, knows Maki so well it's a little scary sometimes how she can guess the reasons for Maki's actions when she doesn't know them herself. Although she doesn't seem it, she leads them well, takes charge in a way that bridges any age gap and coaxes out every inch of Maki's character, be it good or bad. She accepts Maki in a way that Maki has only recently begun to do so herself, addresses her flaws and accepts them as being part of her character.
Maki appreciates Nico's effort and loves her for it. Loves how even though they squabble and bicker like a married couple at times, through light-hearted banter (and sometimes serious yelling matches) they get to explore and learn more about their relationship and are always, always willing and ready to work towards the next step in drawing impossibly closer.
Ah.
Of course, Maki lets her head drop to the table with a light thunk, I'm thinking too hard.
It's not about creating a perfect song for Nico, that's not what their relationship is about.
They're not perfect, so the lyrics don't have to be either.
They just need to be genuine, and that's one thing Maki thinks she can achieve.
Smiling with renewed determination, Maki picks up her pen.