Therapy

Tony turns to Natasha and gestures to the baby that was staring at them from its stroller, “straight up, that infant has serial killer eyes,” he says. He doesn’t expect the laugh to come from behind him and when he turns he finds that sub from group of all people. “Oh hey… Binky?” he guesses. That did not sound right.

Thankfully the sub doesn’t seem too put off by Tony’s idiocy. “Bucky,” the sub reminds him, still laughing at that infant.

“Oh thank god, I was trying to remember why the fuck I’d talk to a guy named after an Arthur character. Seriously man, Binky is not a name you want to call out in bed,” Tony says, realizing somewhat belatedly to reign it in, damnit, he already had this information. And he had no clue what Bucky has been through, he didn’t want to accidentally hit any hot buttons because they had a compatible personalities and he didn’t think shit through like a decent god damn person.

“And Bucky is better?” Natasha asks, frowning at him.

“Better than Binky,” Tony says, “seriously, imagine saying that when you come. Binky. That’s just not right.” Bucky is near doubled over laughing and Tony has no idea if he needed to dial things back more or not because he thought he was hilarious too. Natasha looked unimpressed but she hated fun and that was not Tony’s fault.

“I maintain that Bucky is not an improvement,” Natasha tells him crossing her arms.

“Technically it’s short for Buchanan so,” Bucky shrugs.

“Oh my god, did your mother hate you? Buchanan? God, that’s definitely worse than calling out Binky in bed. Buchanan. Your parents wanted to ensure you never had a sex life, assuming you’re interested in one of those. I mean if not clearly that’s fine, and you parents did you a favor, but if you are you sorry soul. Buchanan?” And he though Anthony Edward was bad, he had nothing on this poor sap.

“Isn’t Beau short for Buchanan?” Natasha asks, frowning, “I see no reason why you went with the far less sexy Bucky.”

“Childhood nickname,” Bucky says, shrugging.

“Very sexy,” Natasha deadpans.

“Right, like Natasha is a sexy name,” Tony retorts, “it isn’t, by the by.”

“Sexier than Bucky,” Natasha counters.

“Well Tony’s the sexiest so I win. And seriously, that fucking baby hasn’t blinked, it’s either fake or the product of the devil,” he says, eyeing said infant suspiciously.

“All children are the product of the devil, Pepper agrees,” Natasha says. Yeah, that had been the selling point for Pepper. Sure, Natasha was a great Domme, she was understanding of Pepper’s career, and she didn’t hog the blankets, but did she want kids? She had been rather excited that Natasha not only hated kids but she was incapable of having them. Pepper wasn’t much the mothering type though one of Tony’s favorite things was to watch Pepper react to someone handing her a child. Usually she panicked and handed it off to the nearest person, generally Tony.

“They aren’t that bad,” Tony says, “except that one, it’s clearly trying to snatch our mortal souls straight out of our bodies.” Bucky starts laughing again and Natasha finally cracks and smiles. Ha, Tony knew he was hilarious and Natasha just refused to give in to his comedic genius.

“I hope that baby grows into its eyes,” Bucky says, which leads to him thinking of an adult with eyes that wide and soul sucking. The result is essentially the Power Puff Girls and that was horrifying, actually.

“I hope so too because eyes that big on an adult would be terrifying. The soul sucking thing on adults is also pretty frightening, I know, I spend a lot of time with business types. God help me if I have to sit through one more meeting with some asshole trying to bore a hole through my head with his eyes. Can’t ask for what you want instead of trying to glare me into submission?” Tony laments, rolling his eyes. Obi told him he was too blunt for his own good, that business needed to be shady and underhanded but Tony thought an unwillingness to show your cards meant you didn’t play the game well enough. It didn’t seem to matter that he’d lay everything out all at once; he almost always got what he wanted. Why? Because he was damn good at his job.

“I think they think that prolonged eye contact will get you to give in,” Natasha says, “but they underestimate how stubborn you are.”

“Prolonged eye contact pisses me off, which really only motivates me to fuck them over,” Tony says. He’s done it a few times just to be an asshole too. Everyone who worked for the companies he ate were well taken care of, of course, and given positions in SI, but the CEO’s were screwed. Obi thought that was a ruthless streak but really Tony didn’t like most of the people he got stuck working or partnering with and it was easier to just rid himself of them while keeping all the stuff he wanted to begin with. It was hardly ruthless, except to the guy that got screwed over.

“You screw people over because they look at you too long? I don’t know whether I should love or hate you for that,” Bucky says, looking amused so Tony was guessing love. And what wasn’t to love? He was great.

“Definitely love,” Tony tells him, giving him a winning smile.

“Yeah, but all the people that work for them-”

“Oh they have jobs, I’m not going to screw over a bunch of people because their CEO is a dick head, that’s terrible. I’m an asshole, not a monster,” Tony says, offended. Natasha snickers at him, probably having a half a dozen disagreements with that statement. But she thought not wetting your toothbrush before you used it made you a monster so clearly her thoughts and perceptions were skewed.

“Guess I’ll go with love then,” Bucky says, smiling just a bit.

“Love what?” some guy asks, walking up to them looking harassed and… heavily muscled. Tony was tempted to reverse engineer that guy’s work out routine just to see if that physique was even possible to achieve or if this guy was actually not human.

“Love me, because I’m adorable,” Tony says cockily. Big Blonde does not look convinced of this but he also probably wasn’t even a real boy so what did he know?

“In your own delusions, maybe,” Natasha quips.

“Your girlfriend thinks I’m adorable,” Tony counters.

“My girlfriend is on your payroll,” Natasha shoots back.

“I’ve known Pep since before she was my assistant, thanks, so your argument is irrelevant,” Tony says, nose in the air.  

Big Blonde gives Bucky a dubious look, “seriously?” he asks.

“What? I think he’s funny, in his own way,” Bucky says and Tony is wounded, really. He was funny in everyone’s way, a real man of the people thank Bucky very much.

Blondie makes a face, “it’s been established that you have bad taste in men,” he says and oh, that was not the right thing to say. Bucky’s face goes stormy before he tells Steve to fuck off with enough vitriol that Natasha of all people recoils before he leaves the building.

“Yikesville, bud,” Tony says, eyeing the guy with the same dubious expression he had received only seconds before. Assuming Bucky’s story followed everyone else’s at that group that was a pretty fucking insensitive thing to say to an abuse survivor. When he turns back around that fucking baby was still giving him a dead eyed stare, but everyone else happened to be looking too.

*

“You’re a disgusting creature,” he tells Natasha.

“Coming from you that’s rich,” she says, rolling her eyes at him and purposefully taking a long drink of her frappuccino. What a fucking disgrace to coffee as a whole, it wasn’t even caffeine anymore, it was a sugary lie!

“Leave Natasha’s frappuccinos alone, Tony,” Pepper tells him, dropping into her seat next to Natasha.

“Yeah, leave my frappuccinos alone, Tony,” Natasha says, sticking her tongue out at him, “also Tony totally met himself a cute sub and he didn’t tell us,” Natasha tells Pepper, who looks more offended than she had a right to be. Natasha drops a hand to Pepper's thigh when he settles in her seat, another one of those methods she used to subtly remind everyone that Pepper was hers, but mostly to remind Tony of that.

“Tell me everything,” Pepper says, leaning forward enthusiastically. Natasha settles in to let her sub do the work for her, knowing that Pepper was more likely to wheedle answers out of Tony than she was.

“There’s nothing to tell, we’ve met twice, it’s hardly a love story,” Tony says. The fact that Bucky happened to be at the same Starbucks he frequented was nothing more than a coincidence. He’d probably never see the guy again.

“Liar,” Natasha accuses, “they totally have a connection,” she says, grinning at Pepper.

“We do not, oh my god. He thinks I’m funny, everyone with taste thinks I’m funny,” Tony says, pulling out his phone so he could answer work emails and ignore this.

“Bad taste, maybe,” Pepper quips, “now get your head out of that phone, I know you have no interest in those emails so stop pretending you aren’t paying attention. Come on, at least give me a gender or something,” she says when Tony doesn’t respond. Some idiot Board member was freaking out over something stupid again so Tony sent an irritated email to inform him that everything was under control, he knew what he was doing.

Why these people even questioned him anymore he had no clue, he’s proven himself more than competent at his job. He didn’t expect blind obedience but some basic respect would be lovely. They all liked Obadiah better because he was the ‘more calculated’ risk taker. He wasn’t, Tony was just acting on patterns no one else noticed and he wasn’t going to be held back because he was smarter than everyone else in the room.

“Male,” Natasha says, selling Tony out because she is an uncivilized heathen.

Pepper makes a pleased noise, “oh, Obadiah’s going to love that about as much as the media. There goes your ladies man image,” Pepper says, snickering.

Natasha snorts, “ladies man my ass, just because he’s managed to pick up a few women from public spaces doesn’t mean he’s a ladies man. I’m the ladies man. Woman. Whatever, point is I know how please a woman, Tony’s just a cheap appetizer,” Natasha says haughtily.

“Please, I’m fillet mignon, and you are overdone steak at a redneck’s barbeque. And there is no relationship for anyone to love or hate,” Tony says. Bucky was just a guy he’s run into a few times and one of them was at a support group for abuse survivors, that was the opposite of sexy. And the second meeting resulted in him telling his friend to fuck off in a pretty nasty tone. That hardly fostered human connections or relationships, Natasha was delusional.

“Yet,” Natasha says in an ominous tone. Tony sighs and accepts that Natasha has officially become interested in his love life.

*

Bucky ignores Steve for the rest of the day because he was pissed off about that comment, damnit. It was rude and uncalled for and it was hurtful, even if Steve hadn’t necessarily intended it to be that way. The experience did, however, give him the push he needed to finally get himself out of his habit of relying on Steve to act as his Dom and seek out some professional help or something. The problem with that was that he didn’t trust anyone not to hurt him, even if it made no sense to think that they would. It was hard to relax with an inability to trust, to let go. That was why he had relied on Steve for so long but he really did need to move away from that, to heal and move forward.

He’d tell Steve that at a later, when he wasn’t so pissed off at him, but for now he was more than content to let Steve stew in his own insensitivity. What he really wants to do is curl up in his Dom’s lap and be pet but he has no Dom aside from Steve and Bucky wasn’t about to go there. So instead he sits around and restlessly fidgets until he finally has enough and sneaks out the window of his bedroom, down the fire escape. There was a small coffee shop that was a little out of his way but it had great hot chocolate and a nice atmosphere that helped calm him down. Plus it was open all night so he didn’t have to go home right away if he didn’t want to.

The fact that the staff knew him by name was probably an indication he spent too much time there but that was something he’d worry about later. Right now all he wanted was some peace and quiet and space to think and relax. The hot chocolate at least helped his anxiety some, and watching the people mingle and wander by outside also had a calming effect. He had probably been sitting there for an hour when someone else walks in. Bucky doesn’t pay much attention until he hears the person speak and recognizes the voice. A quick glance over confirms that Tony was the one who just walked in and wasn’t that some kind of coincidence?

Fate wasn’t a concept that he had much faith in so he was tempted to think Tony was stalking him, seriously, there were way too many coincidences here, but the staff seemed to know who he was too. He could hardly assume he was being stalked when the barista asked about Pepper and her Dom by name, and Tony responded with some sort of inside joke. Clearly he also frequented here, which made Bucky wonder how they hadn’t come in contact before. Or maybe they had and neither one of them noticed. That seemed doubtful with how much attention Tony seemed to draw by just existing but weirder things have happened. Once Clint brought home a parrot that whispered weird shit in the middle of the night, Phil made him get rid of it.

Instead of over focusing on what was more than likely a coincidence Bucky turns away and goes back to looking out the window and procrastinating on going home. Steve was sure to apologize and probably had a million and one things planned to make it up to him but the thought of having to sit through Steve’s plans was exhausting. He had no interesting in pacifying Steve because he did something wrong so he remained where he was, firmly planted in his seat.

“Bucky?” Tony asks, Bucky recognizes his voice and he turns to find Tony grinning at him. “Hey, fancy seeing you here. Seriously, that’s weird. Mind if I sit?” he asks, gesturing to the free seat across from Bucky. He pauses, waiting for Tony to just sit but he doesn’t and that throws Bucky for a moment. He was used to people asking that and then just ignoring that he hadn’t given an answer to do whatever it was they wanted.

Tony opens his mouth to say something but Bucky interrupts, “yeah, that’d be okay,” he says, gesturing loosely to the empty seat. Only then does Tony move and Bucky’s surprised by how reassured he was by that. “Thanks for actually waiting for an answer instead of just doing whatever,” he says.

He gets an odd look at that and thankfully Tony decides to elaborate, “I think maybe you should examine why you felt the need to thank someone for waiting for your consent. I mean assuming you story follows everyone else’s at that group it seems pretty irresponsible to inadvertently tell you that your consent doesn’t matter by not actually waiting for your answer to my question,” Tony says.

And… that was surprisingly insightful, actually. “You’ve been in therapy too long,” Bucky jokes because that was easier than actually dealing with that analysis. Mostly because Tony made a point and pretty much everyone in his life sort of ignored that kind of thing. It wasn’t to be malicious either, but asking to come into his room followed by just walking in makes the question pointless. It was an invasion of personal space regardless of the intention. Huh.

Tony wrinkles his nose, “ugh, I have been. I don’t even know where that came from because my doctor sucks. I’m pretty sure a dog would do a better job than that guy,” he says.

“Well dogs are cute and they lick your tears,” Bucky says, mentally kicking himself for the embarrassing ending to that statement. Thankfully Tony laughs instead of deeming him some fort of freak and running as far as he could away.

“You aren’t wrong, I guess. But I’m more of a cat person,” he admits, shrugging.

Bucky gasps, “I trusted you!” he says dramatically. “And it turns out that you’re a cat person?” He didn’t actually mind cats but he’s had one too many try and sleep on his face to truly enjoy them.

Tony looks hilariously affronted by this, “I trusted you only to find out you’re a dog person! We’re clearly not to be,” he says dramatically. He seems to consider something after he says that but he keeps it to himself and Bucky forces himself not to dwell on it. It was probably nothing anyways.

“Actually I’m more of a rodent person, I like rats,” he admits somewhat reluctantly because people didn’t like rats, they thought they were gross when they were actually very clean animals. Tony considers thing for a moment and laughs, shaking his head.

“Rodents. Rats are cute though, I wanted one for like ever when I was a kid but my dad was an asshole and by the time I got older I didn’t have time for any kind of pet. The closest I’ve got is Pepper and I’m pretty sure she’d argue that I’m the pet,” he says, snickering.

“Pretty sure you’d make a terrible pet,” Bucky says, amused. He couldn’t imagine Tony being demure enough to be anyone's pet, hell; he wouldn’t even make a good brat. Bucky got the feeling that whatever Doms Tony might have dealt with in life were quickly driven up the wall by the man and he wondered how that fucked him up. Everyone had something and Tony already mentioned being experimented on by scientists in group. That couldn’t have been pleasant regardless of how blasé Tony was about it.

“I would absolutely make a terrible pet. I guess if people knew about the biological sub thing though there would be at least one person who would take that as a challenge. You know, the creepy guys who run ‘how to pick up subs’ shows during the night that basically read as serial killer manuals. I’m sure you know the type,” Tony says and yeah, Bucky does.

“Unfortunately,” he says, lip curling in disgust.

“Aww, you’ve been hit on by one, haven’t you?” Tony asks, looking sympathetic.

“I have. He’s dead now,” Bucky says, temporarily forgetting that he didn’t know Tony well enough to make that joke. Bucky didn’t kill him but it was fun leaving the subtle implication that he had. Phil had been the first one to make the joke and now it was like a friend meme. They’d be with a group of new people and someone would inevitably bring up That One Creep That Hit On Bucky, and then say that he was now dead. The new people would laugh for a moment before realizing that no one else was laughing and then they’d all look at each other wondering if that meant what they thought that meant. It was a very useful tactic Bucky had learned to use when someone from whatever new group decided to set their sights on him when he wanted nothing to do with them.

No one was wiling to date the dude that maybe killed a man. But Tony throws back his head and laughs, “oh my god, that’s awesome,” he says, cackling. If there was some sudden realization that Bucky maybe wasn’t joking it didn’t show. Normally Bucky might be worried about that but Tony had already proven that he cared about Bucky’s consent more than Steve and Steve was very intent on not harming Bucky so Tony must not be that bad.

Maybe he had a sense of humor that was as morbid as Phil’s. Even Clint was confused by Phil’s sense of humor sometimes and Clint basically lived on jokes. Personally Bucky liked Phil’s sense of humor because he found it to be a refreshing break from the emotionally taxing way people treated tragedy. Sometimes he just wanted to make a bad joke and move on instead of wallowing in his own suffering.

“So out of curiosity did you kill him or did he just die? I mean I won’t judge either way because me too buddy; I’ve had to deal with some weird shit. This one guy, right, he decides it’s a good idea to tweet me his random fantasies about laying eggs in my ass. Eggs, Bucky, in my ass. And you know what, if that’s what you want to do, that’s great, but leave me and my ass out of it,” Tony says, throwing his hands up.

For a moment he doesn’t know how to respond to that but he ends up settling for laughing because seriously? “Oh god that’s so much worse than my creep,” he says, “that’s not funny but it’s so funny.”

“Ahh, no big deal, the point was to make you laugh. That’s a legit story though and I mean this guy didn’t even ask if this was a thing I might be interested in. I mean like if I was sweet, good to go, but I think it goes without saying that laying eggs in someone’s ass without their consent is a gross violation of personal autonomy. So that guy got blocked from like… the internet,” Tony says, rolling his eyes dramatically.

That would have been funny enough on it’s own, and telling in regards to the consent bit. The fact that the barista was halfway to their table with coffee when she heard that and reacted by promptly turning on her heel and walking away made it ten times funnier. “Someone walked up behind me as I said that, didn’t they?” Tony asks.

Bucky nods and Tony sighs, accepting his fate as That Weird Egg Guy. “Any other weird and wonderful stories?” he asks when he calms down a little.

“Tons, I’m a pretty adventurous guy and I have a habit of getting into things I really should leave alone. But this one time I was at a Starbucks, and I was just doing was my civic duty of not murdering the shit out of everyone before my morning coffee when this guy comes up. I was so fucking tired I thought he was a tree until he spoke and after the shit that came out of his mouth I wished I had’ve continued in blissful ignorance. So this guy shows up and he’s like ‘hey, I’m gunna take you home and knock you up’. That’s what he starts with, Bucky, getting me fucking pregnant. And impregnation kink is fine, but you don’t walk up to a guy before noon and whip that shit out without even asking. Honestly, do I even get a say in whether or not I would like to be prego? Because even if I was a uterus wielder I would not want a fucking horror movie to happen inside me. Anyways I walked away and twenty minutes later that guy walked into a job interview with none other than me. He turned around and left, not even a word,” Tony says.

He had a knack for telling stories, Bucky thought, but he had previous experience to tell him that Tony might be dramatic but he probably wasn’t lying. Also Bucky has had that happen too, but it was a woman who walked up and told him to knock her up which, no? Steve had been rightly horrified with such behavior. “Did that happen pre or post business explosion?” he asks, curious to see if fame was a connection.

“This sort of thing has always happened. I mean just hang out in a Wal-Mart long enough and some creep is bound to come up and say something bizarre to you. One guy predicted my death and, according to him, I was supposed to die via meteorite to the head. Clearly he has been playing too much Sims. But fame hasn’t helped the situation much. Some random woman with one eye and a single chunk of pink hair invited me to a feather party once and I had a great time. Feathers are surprisingly nice; I would not have known that without the pink haired pirate lady. What about you, any strange tales from the kinky deep?” he asks, leaning forward in genuine interest.

Bucky shrugs, “not like that. I mean except that one time my friends and I all decided to go to one of those vampire things but we decided it wasn’t for us,” he says.

“You talk about that like it’s a regular, every day experience,” Tony says, eyebrow raised.

“Actually in my neighborhood vampire kink is pretty popular, and in college I lived with a bunch of ponies. Minus the hoof clopping at weird times in the night it was an agreeable arrangement,” Bucky says. That, and the neighing, but Bucky’s morning habits consisted of him hissing at everything that moved so he figured he was in no place to judge. At least they did their fucking dishes, half the roommates he and Steve have had over the years seemed to assume that because they cleaned up after themselves they would clean up after everyone. It resulted in Bucky sticking all of one of their roommate’s dishes in their bed to fester until they were cleaned. That was not a good year.

“See, in mine everyone has a weird obsession with bondage. I mean it’s alright but people get zealous about it. Pepper has a high proportion of puppies in her building, and according to Rhodey people really need to stop joining the military for the uniform.” Bucky laughs because he knew like six people in college who went into the military for that reason so it was amusing to find out that people knew about it. Most of them worked desk jobs, which was for the best really, and they still got their uniforms. “You know at least one person in it for the uniform, don’t you?” Tony asks.

“A few, actually,” Bucky tells him.

“I’d like to agree with Rhodey but honestly, same. Have you seen the uniforms? Hot stuff,” Tony says, grinning.

Bucky smiles, lips turning up just a bit, “I’m more suit guy, not that I know anyone who can afford my tastes but hey. A guy can look.” Imagine his surprise when he met Phil Coulson, the guy that basically lived in suits. That had been a very uncomfortable two weeks before he got used to Phil being everywhere. Now it was an inside joke that Phil Coulson was never out of the suits, and they all knew it was because Clint secretly had a suit kink. He didn’t, Phil just liked looking dapper and didn’t seem to mind kneeling in the suits. Bucky would think that was uncomfortable but Phil never complained about it.

“Lucky you. Business ruined my love of suits, now I associate them with sweaty, snot-nosed Board members who need to learn what fucking Kleenexes are. But hey, to each their own,” he says, shrugging a bit. They continue talking and Bucky decides that he likes Tony quite a bit. Sure, he was a bit melodramatic, but he was also passionate and animated and honest, almost brutally so. When he says something Tony tells him he has no need for social propriety because it didn’t get anyone anywhere but confused, which generally left people thinking he was an asshole. Though he also out and out stated that he was also an asshole, so people weren’t wrong in their defense.

It was refreshing, talking to someone who said exactly what they meant. Generally that kind of negotiation and openness was left only to figuring out relationship boundaries with possible partners, whatever the connection may be. It irritated Bucky because social cues elsewhere were sort of missed or misinterpreted instead of properly fleshed out and discussed like they would be in any other context. Tony agrees, which was why he resolved to just say whatever it was he was thinking.

“Alright, so I mean this might be a bit weird, and feel free to say no, but do you want to like… go on an actual date? Because I genuinely like your company, you’re funny, your sass is strong, and you have majestic hair. Like I said, feel free to say no if that isn’t what you’re looking for but-” Bucky cuts him off.

“Yeah, sounds good,” he says before he can talk himself out of it. He was at least mostly comfortable in Tony’s presence, and he already knew Bucky was probably fucked up so that took a whole lot of pressure off. Plus Tony was in that group for a reason, he probably had his own issues and it was easier to put trust in someone who has also suffered because they might understand. And he asked before he sat down, and he actually waited for Bucky’s answer, and expressly told Bucky that he could say no. Those things were important to Bucky and he thought it would be worthwhile to at least check it out so he said yes before he could overthink it and screw himself over like he usually did. Riley would be proud.