Chapter 12
“Why do you work here?” Carmilla stared blankly at her boss. “Okay, why do you want to work here?”
“I don’t,” Carmilla knew her calling was not translating for a law firm for the rest of her life even if she did not know what her calling was. Her boss’ chin slackened just a little with her blunt answer but he kept his composure, “Then why are you here?”
“I need money. You offered. I’m not sure I understand why I’m in this meeting right now. I haven’t done anything wrong since starting here. I’ve done my job whenever needed. If I’m getting fired, you have no case to do so.”
He folded his hands in his lap and studied his desk for a few seconds, “We weren’t -”
“There’s a ‘we’ now?”
“I misspoke. I am not firing you but I am letting you go and it would be best for both parties if you were simply to put in your resignation. The fresh meat that we’ve hired have your skills with language and your position is just not needed anymore.”
Spite sat sour on Carmilla’s tongue. She had not wanted to be with the company forever, she did not technically need to be; her trust fund would cover her for most of her life. Her father had been in charge of that before he died and her mother had not been able to touch it. But just the fact that she was overqualified, had always shown perfect conduct, which was a feat of its own, and this man had the audacity to ask her to leave. But the other half of her was apathetic toward the job and she did not have any ties to it. Her coworkers were not her friends, she kept to herself in the office.
“This isn’t an offer.”
“It’s an offer to avoid the situation of me having to force you to leave. You can go out on your choice.” Carmilla was aware of the appropriate two weeks but he had not given her any notice and she was not in a giving mood. “When do the ‘fresh meat,’ as you call it, start?”
“Not until next month so you have time –”
Carmilla pushed herself out of her chair, “I don’t need time. I hope you can live without me until they start because I’m done now. Thank you for you time.”
Her irritated heels clicking across the sidewalk almost drowned it out but she came to a halt when she passed an ally and turned to look down. Incessant meowing was echoing off something but Carmilla saw nothing. She started down the ally, the meowing getting louder with each step until she stopped next to a tin garbage bin. She grimaced at the state of it but lifted it anyway, dropping it with a clang to the gravel. She looked inside, relieved it was empty of trash but in the bottom staring up at her, now completely silent, was a black kitten. Blue eyes blinked. First off, who knew what diseases he might have. Second, she could not keep pets in the apartment and though she could keep it at her house, she did not want to be there more than necessary. Three, never mind Laura would love it. Carmilla dug tissues out of her purse to use as makeshift gloves as she reached down to pick the kitten up. He did not struggle or cry out as she did so. She tucked him away in her jacket pocket to hide as she hailed a taxi, “Nearest vet.”
“Ma’am, I don’t know where that is. You have an address?” Carmilla pulled out her phone for a quick search. She read it off and sat back, a hand on her pocket to offer some comfort. He was not meowing but it made her nervous.
She did not have an appointment of course but the vet took the cat with the understanding that they would be handing it over to the humane society to put it up for adoption. But, when Carmilla went to leave, she could not bring herself to and ended up sitting in the waiting area to hear if he was okay. An hour later when the vet tech noticed her presence she said, “Are you waiting on the kitten you brought in? I apologize. I must’ve misunderstood.”
“You didn’t. I wanted to know he was okay before I left.”
“Well, he’s already been checked out. He’s over here. You can see him.” The vet tech directed Carmilla to a viewing window that looked over a pet playroom. The tech pointed at the black kitten that was sitting off to the side, watching all the other cats run around. He looked up, seeing Carmilla through the window and stared, ignoring the orange cat that was playing with his tail. An instant decision was made in Carmilla’s mind, “I’ll take him off your hands.”
“Are you sure?”
“And I’ll pay for whatever the cost of today was. And for any shots. I’ll also need all the stuff to take care of him; I wasn’t prepared for this.” The vet tech looked taken aback, “Okay then. If you go up to the desk, Maggie can ring you out. I’ll get the sweet little boy and everything you need.”
Carmilla nodded and spent way too much money on his necessities; she never considered the expense of a pet before. The vet tech reappeared with two large bags and a carrier.
“Wow, this is so exciting,” she said as she passed the stuff to Carmilla.
“Alright, well it’s not that great.”
“You saved an animal and then gave it a home. You’re wonderful.”
“Yeah, yeah, well thanks,” Carmilla exited the vet as quickly as she could after that, not intent on the continued praise of the vet.
She lifted the carrier up to eye level, “You gonna be okay on the bus, buddy?”
He was. She should have asked the vet about his lack of vocalization since she found him but it had slipped her mine. She made a mental note to call later.
By the time the buss arrived in Styria, Laura’s lit reading list had named the kitten Bagheera.
“You’re a fearsome little thing, aren’t you?” Carmilla cooed, wanting to gag as soon as she heard what she sounded like, “I think it fits, don’t you?”
She took his blink as a yes.
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“Hey, Carm,” Laura came bustling in the door, holding a few bags out in front of her. She was trying to make it to the counter when she jumped backwards in fright at the sight of something black scurrying across the kitchen floor. Breathing heavily and clutching her hands, and with them the bags, to her chest, she looked at Carmilla, “What in the name of Hermione Granger was that?”
“A cat,” Carmilla said, stroking the tiny kitten that was sitting on her chest, bumping her fingers with its nose and purring so loudly that Laura could hear it in the doorway. She stuck her neck out, her eyes widened and her mouth opened, “When did we get a cat?”
Carmilla’s attention was back on her book, which was being held out in front of her as the kitten was trying to rub its face against the pages, “Today.”
Carmilla was being difficult so Laura set the bags on the counter with a grunt and padded into the living room. She swiped the book from Camilla’s hands. “Hey, I was reading that.”
“And I was asking you questions.”
“I believe I answered them.” Laura’s eyes narrowed and Carmilla mirrored her. “Can you please just give me the answers you know I want?”
“Kiss.” Laura rolled her eyes but bent down to kiss Carmilla hello. She tried to straighten back up, but the kitten had attached itself to her hair, biting and pawing at it. The small, wide, blue eyes made Laura giggle; it was too incredibly cute. She fell onto the couch beside Carmilla and the kitten sniffed at her out of curiosity but it did not move from Carmilla’s chest. Carmilla put her arm around Laura so that Laura’s head rested between her shoulder and her arm. “I’ve seen him before in the alley beside my building. Today I heard meowing so I went to find him. I found him. I picked him up. I brought him here.”
“Carmilla, he could have something,” Laura said partly frightened by the thought of diseases that could possibly be alive in the kitten.
Carmilla kissed her temple, “Do you think I would bring anything into this apartment that would put you in danger? I took him to the vet. I was going to leave him there. As you can see, that didn’t happen.”
Carmilla was looking at the cat with an expression that Laura was unfamiliar with. It was protective and caring and very similar to how Carmilla looked at Laura except…different. The word she wanted escaped her. “We can’t have pets here.”
Carmilla’s head turned so quickly toward her that Laura thought she would hear a snap, “He stays.”
“Then we don’t.”
“If they think they are going to kick me out -”
Laura set her hand on Carmilla’s leg, “We signed an agreement.”
Carmilla was scratching behind the kitten’s ears, her lips jutting out as she looked at him. And then the word came. It was strange when it was describing Carmilla: motherly. She could not quite wrap her mind around that term. Carmilla had never in their entire relationship talked about children in any way negative or positive but then again, neither had Laura. It was endearing on Carmilla; it softened her features and Laura’s mind started creating tracks upon tracks of possible futures for them because of one word.
“Then we move.” That snapped Laura back to reality, “You want to move because of a cat?”
“His name is Bagheera and yes. I will be moving as soon as possible. You are welcome to come along.”
“Did you just choose the cat over me?”
“One hundred percent, creampuff,” there was an awkward pause and then Carmilla continued, “Also, I quit my job.”
It did not take Carmilla long at all to find an apartment in Styria. She had contacts everywhere and the name Karnstein worked wonders. She was standing outside of The Journal’s office building when Laura exited after a hassle filled day of work and Laura smiled seeing her leaning up against the column on the porch of the building.
Laura hugged her, nuzzling her head into Carmilla’s neck and hearing a purr, “What’s this all about, creampuff?”
“I just like seeing you.” Carmilla pulled out of the hug, “Well, I have something that I’d like you to see, but -”
Out of Carmilla’s pocket she pulled a handkerchief, “- I’m gonna have to blindfold you.”
“Excuuuuuuse me?”
Carmilla rolled her eyes and turned Laura around, “It’s a surprise, cutie. Can’t have it being ruined for you.”
Laura’s vision was obstructed as the makeshift blindfold was tied around her head, “You don’t think this is a little over the top. Couldn’t you have least waited until -”
“Sssssh.” Laura made them go very slow as she blindly maneuvered the staircase to the sidewalk. Carmilla had a secure grip on her arm and Laura was trying to guess where they were going when a car door was opened and Carmilla guided her into the backseat of what she supposed was a taxi.
“I actually hate this,” Laura commented when the car began to drive. Carmilla slipped her fingers between Laura’s, “I think it’s the journalist in you because usually you love surprises.”
“You didn’t even give me a heads up on what it might be,” she whined. It had been a long day and when she saw Carmilla, she thought that maybe they could go home and have a quiet evening. Since Carmilla had stopped working for the law firm, there had been a very noticeable change in her demeanor. She seemed less stressed and happier. Laura was able to spend more time with her and even though Laura new that was selfish, she was happy that whenever she did not have to work, Carmilla would be there. For a while it had been difficult to match their schedules up and they would go a couple of days without really talking. Laura would come home late, snuggle up to Carmilla in bed say a quick goodnight and wake up then next morning just to repeat the cycle. But now, Carmilla was home when she got home and they actually had time to spend together.
The taxi rumbled to a stop and Carmilla leaned forward to pay before pulling Laura from the car. There was another set of stairs and then the pinging of an elevator button before the doors slid open. Even through the blindfold, Laura could see the florescent light inside but when Carmilla hit another button, she had no idea what floor they were going to. “Okay, where are we, Carm?”
“Can you just go with it for once? It is a surprise. I’ll get you a dictionary if you need one.” Laura grumbled making Carmilla chuckle but the elevator finally came to a stop. Laura felt like she was walking down a very long hallway but there was no way for her to actually know. Key? Something was jangling and then twisting and a door opened. Carmilla’s hand set on Laura’s lower back and nudged her forward. Laura felt the tie loosen on the blindfold and drop. Her mouth did the same. She was staring into a massive and completely empty room with windows taking up whole walls and giving a magnificent view of the city. She had a few seconds to take it all in before Carmilla kissed her cheek from behind and whispered, “Welcome home.”
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Everyone’s jaw dropped. “This place is fucking incredible.”
“Lafontaine, watch your language.” They ignored Perry completely and stumbled farther into the apartment. “This is like a penthouse that’s not a penthouse.”
There was still minimal furniture so the size was very much the overwhelming feature. “‘Scuse us!”
The call came from the hall and when Lafontaine turned around, a couple movers had arrived, lugging a couch between them. They were completely grateful that Laura had not called all of them over this time to actually help them move. It had been on Carmilla’s invite that they were all there. It had also been on her account that they hired movers instead of using their friends. Instead of boxes, Lafontaine was holding a glass of champagne.
The couch the movers set down was not cheap. “Wow, L. You didn’t half-ass any of this.”
They watched their friend look to Carmilla. It was not a secret that Carmilla had loads of money but it was never a point of contention and it looked like this whole ordeal might have brought on a little strain. Perry stepped in for them, “I’m sure they just meant it was incredibly nice for a first place. It’s really beautiful, Laura.”
“Thanks,” Laura smiled. It was not forced either so maybe Lafontaine had misread the silent communication between her and Carmilla. They did seem to have their own language so it was not far-fetched. They were pretty taken with the apartment but when they thought about their own life, they would not give up the tiny place above the bakery with Perry for anything. That seemed to be where they would stay for the foreseeable future. It had all become routine and Lafontaine loved every second of it. The two were in the perfect place, comfortable with each other and devoted. The bakery was their only child and maybe some of the kids they hired; Lafontaine did feel a little bit like a parent even though they were not that much older than the employees. It was flourishing. Perry had had a rough start but the holidays kicked everything into gear and now it was stable.
Lafontaine was still researching at the bio-lab facility. They were aiming for the lead researcher position but so far it was still out of reach. They were not surprised. They had not started there that long ago and the current position was held by a woman whom had worked there for twelve years. But it was the goal and they had something to work toward.
“That’s exactly what I meant,” Lafontaine assured, “But bigger question, where’s your brother?”
Carmilla sipped the drink, “Hopefully in class. He’s supposed to be bringing Mattie over soon though.”
Lafontaine never knew exactly how to approach Mattie and they always felt intimidated by her. For good reason. She was intimidating. And they were not the only one. Perry was anxious, Kirsch felt inadequate, Danny was overly aggressive, Carmilla was trying and Laura was overly protective of her so there was strain there. Will seemed to be the only one completely comfortable around her. He had confided to Lafontaine that he had forgiven her for everything. He truly believed everyone deserved a second chance and while Carmilla believed this to be her hundredth chance, Will did not have the same views. He was putting a lot of work in to try to make her welcome again. They were at the point where no one in the group did not want her around but they were still getting used to her being there, knowing what she had done. Lafontaine figured aside from Laura, they knew the most. They had told Perry much of what they knew but Danny and Kirsch were really still guessing. It was no one’s information but Will and Carmilla’s to tell so everyone pretty much kept their mouth shut and did not ask questions.
Lafontaine watched Kirsch go to examine the view but he stopped short, “You have a balcony!?”
Kirsch ran to slide open what Lafontaine thought was a glass window and they hurriedly followed. The balcony was cramped, not being very wide and Perry shrank back from the edge. Lafontaine wrapped their arm under Perry’s and around her back. “You okay, Perr?”
She shook her head, not in answer but as if to clear it, “I just got a bit dizzy.”
“I didn’t realize heights were a problem?” Perry had never mentioned that before.
“They’re not usually.”
“Let’s just go back inside then,” Lafontaine suggested. When they turned there was a black streak and Carmilla yelled, “No, Bags!”
She was quick and scooped up what Lafontaine had not seen clearly before. Carmilla was holding a black kitten with big curious eyes.
“Good job, Kirsch, you almost made them lose their cat,” Danny nagged. Carmilla was nuzzling her nose into the tiny thing’s head and Laura spoke, “It’s no one’s fault. He’s just adventurous.”
“Can we just be careful with the door?” Carmilla asked and Kirsch came in and closed it. Carmilla had not snapped at him, but politely asked. Lafontaine exchanged surprised looks with Perry and Laura leaned over, “Bagheera has changed her.”
Lafontaine snickered and Carmilla glowered, shutting them up instantly, “Apparently not entirely.”
The movers were coming in and out but Carmilla and Laura still gave everyone a tour, despite the emptiness. It took almost three hours for the guys to get all the furniture they had acquired so far into the space. “Wait, L, where’s the chair?”
“It was broken, Laf. We got a new one,” she pointed to her right. Lafontaine was silent for a second, “You threw away the first chair you ever bought? The one that I went and searched with you for weeks to find?”
“Uh…” Laura looked to Perry who said nothing. “Memories, L. Memories. Are those not important to you?”
“Of course they are,” Laura was full of unease. Lafontaine was mostly joking with her though they did love that chair. “Fine then. Whatever.”
“You can come with me to find another chair!” Laura offered. Lafontaine dramatically looked away, “Fine.”
“That was the most ridiculous exchange I have ever seen,” Carmilla grumbled. Danny actually agreed with her and they had a moment of awkwardly looking at each other until Carmilla marched off into the kitchen. Lafontaine sat in the new chair, “Well, this one needs broken in anyway.”
Carmilla came out from the kitchen with more drinks and eventually a bowl of chips and some sort of layer dip that Lafontaine had never had before but fell in love with. “Perr, you gotta make this some time.”
“Why me?”
“Because I always ruin food,” they answered, shoving more chips in their mouth. It was nice to have the night off and not have Perry worry about the bakery. They needed to get together with everyone more often but Kirsch always had practice, Will always had school, Laura was always working and so was Danny and Perry was mostly too paranoid to leave closing to their employees. She had gotten much better but Lafontaine still found themself having to physically remove her from the building sometimes.
When they were all still at Silas, they were there for everything in each other’s lives but now they were realizing that they were missing things. Laura did not always immediately call when something new happened. Kirsch did not come bounding into their home every night with some inconsequential news that made him happier than necessary. Danny was not there to show up every night with a bottle of wine and talk. Things had changed and though things were very good, old habits and traditions started to fall away. So, whenever they were able to get together, Lafontaine knew it was not only them who did whatever they could to not miss the event.
No matter how laid back, it was fun. Tonight was about new beginnings and catching up. That is exactly how it should always be for them all.
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Carmilla’s eyes flickered to the hint of old, raised skin on Perry’s arm before the sleeve was roughly pulled down. She glanced up but Perry was not looking her way so she had not seen Carmilla staring at her arm; the action had been involuntary.
Eventually, Perry got up from the group and Carmilla followed, patting Laura’s hand to say she would be back. She leaned against a counter in the kitchen where Perry was pouring a glass of bright yellow liquid that Carmilla took to be lemonade. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
Perry jumped, startled by Carmilla’s sudden appearance as she had not known she was being followed. She wore a puzzled expression until Carmilla nodded at her wrists. Hand instinctually covered the fabric that was already covering the scars she wished to hide. Carmilla had no intention of making Perry uncomfortable but the way in which she was fidgeting, clearly showed that feeling. “No pressure. I just wanted you to know you could,” she smiled, knowingly, “I’ve been told it helps to talk. Especially if someone can relate.”
She dipped her head and turned to leave the room but was stopped, “I don’t know how.”
If that was what was keeping Perry from discussing what could only be described as a dark and painful part of her past, Carmilla could not find it in herself to put any blame on her. So many times she had used the same explanation for why she never spoke of certain things. It was not the excuse she gave people, it was the one she gave herself. It was easier than accepting that if she talked about it, she would feel it all again. A little fireball taught her that. “Like you would anything else.”
Perry’s hand hovered over the glass, stuck between safety and vulnerability. It was strange to see herself reflected in the curly-haired red head she had never once found common ground with. “When?”
Perry looked relieved to have a starting point, “I was ten. It was when I finally realized. As a child I hadn’t seen it or understood it at least,” it was saying something that Perry ended her childhood at the age of ten, still too young to be anything but a child, “My mom’s mood swings became more apparent; they started affecting my life. She wasn’t medically considered to have OCD but she was anal about so many things. She cleaned the house from top to bottom constantly. She had to make “them” happy. I had thought the “them” were her imaginary friends. I had them so she could too.
My father had been protective, not telling me what was happening. He took care of my mother. Sometimes they were gone for a couple days and my grandmother came to watch me. It was like a holiday and I never knew where they went and I never questioned. My mother would sometimes be gone on what by dad called “vacations” and we would have father-daughter time. She was always subdued when she came back from her holidays and a little dazed. That was the normality of my life.
But when I was ten, I found the word to describe my mother. Schizophrenic. And the real world, the one that told me my life wasn’t normal, it was abnormal, suffocated me and I felt like I had been lied to forever. And so my mother no longer had imaginary friends; she no longer was a perfectionist. My mother was crazy. And of course because she was crazy, I had the fear that I was going to grow up to be crazy. The things she had taught me and my willingness to accept them, as truths, were proof. Can you imagine, at ten, thinking the rest of your life was doomed?”
She pulled the sleeves of her shirt up, “So this happened. Then I thought I was even crazier but it was okay, because that’s how I was supposed to be. And soon my arms were full and my legs were the bare canvas. Then my stomach, anywhere I could reach. I had to live up to the idea of crazy.”
Carmilla had not been expecting a story as she had just heard but it would have been counterproductive to show shock. “And of course, many years later, I met Lafontaine. I hid it from them for as long as I could. They started to notice inconsistencies. I never wanted them to meet my parents. My father wasn’t a bad man but he was connected to my mother and I didn’t want them to run away.
I found my mother’s absence was therapy and treatment. I found that she was comforted in me and always had been. The catastrophic pressure was laid on me to bring her down from her worst episodes. And as it got harder, I became more knowledgeable. My mother wasn’t crazy as my ten-year-old self so simply put it. She had a mental illness. She couldn’t help it anymore than she was already trying to and that was huge for me to recognize. She was trying to live with this horrible affliction. And I wasn’t “crazy” or ever would become so. That calmed me and with the calm came the loss of the need to break skin,” she paused for a while and Carmilla chose to stay silent along with her, “I was ashamed though and still am.”
She was playing the blame game, one that Carmilla was well acquainted with herself. Everything was her fault even when it was not. That is where the feeling of shame came about.
“No one wants to show their scars,” Carmilla, true to her word, began to lift the back of her shirt up to bare her back, the landscape of her own ruin. Perry looked scandalized as she was pulling the shirt up, “Chill out, Miss Frizzle, I’m just showing you mine.”
She turned around so her back would face Perry but the startled intake of breath she was waiting for never came. It was not anything Perry had not seen before. She pulled her shirt back down and turned to a face of understanding and pity. The pity did not bother her like it usually did because it was not pity for her situation, it was because Perry knew how she had felt to have to carry the marks around forever, “At least you can hide yours easily.”
The conversation turned from serious to a twisted sense of comfortable comparison. “You don’t have to.”
“They cover every inch of my skin. It’d be impossible -”
“To hide.” Perry smiled, sheepishly. “Then don’t.”
“I don’t want people to stare.”
“People stare when you wear turtlenecks in the summer."
“I don’t want to explain.”
Carmilla shrugged, “Then don’t. Not everyone has the right to know about the details of your life. Tell who you want.”
“Should I tell them?” she nodded toward the room where their friends were gathered.
“You’re asking the wrong person.” Carmilla told nothing to anyone, no matter who they were until it was dragged out of her.
“Well, now you know why I am how I am.”
“I was never going to ask.”
“But you were still curious.” Carmilla shrugged and let Perry think what she would. Carmilla had never taken Perry’s personality for anything other than the simple fact that it was how she was wired. There was nothing wrong with that and even after hearing the woman’s story, she still found no fault.
“Perry?” Carmilla questioned before Perry was entirely out from the kitchen. The question escaped her before she made up her mind whether she really wanted to know the answer or not, “Your mother, she was loving, right?”
Perry’s features saddened, “She was. She loved me a lot. She was just too paranoid to completely show it.”
Carmilla looked at her feet, comparing their past. “I know what you’re doing. It’s not the same at all. I don’t think you should have a false hope that you missed something, or did something wrong to cause you mother to be how she is. I thought that for the longest time about my own. We can’t change who they are at the core. I’m sorry.
Carmilla tried to rid her mind of the idea that Perry’s mother had an excuse to not show love yet she did anyway while Carmilla’s own mother was void of the emotion entirely. I don’t care anyway. Nothing can change what has happened. But it was not entirely true because she cared as much as the next person.
She did not know what Perry would do from then on out; the choice was completely up to her. At least they had talked, however briefly, but to what end Carmilla was not certain. There had been no closure for either but comfort in expressing some long kept secret.
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“Do you have vacation time?” Carmilla questioned casually. She kept on reading, not looking away from the page. Bagheera was curled up against her leg, sleeping, twitching slightly at his dreams. Laura was on the other side of the bed, fact checking her latest article on the new green plans of a large metal factory outside the city. Carmilla did not understand how a factory could ever be green and environmentally friendly but it was a big story and Laura had spent the last week and a half avidly researching and interviewing anyone who would listen in order to reach her deadline, which was the next night at eleven. She seemed to be a little bit ahead of schedule, on her way to the editing stage. Carmilla usually tried to give her complete silence when she was working; she was content to sit in the same place that Laura occupied and read.
Laura spoke and typed at the same time, “Uh, journalists don’t really have vacation time.”
Carmilla rolled her eyes and pursed her lips at Laura’s use of air quotes. “You’re always working, I know. But, is it possible?”
“I can send an inquiry into Mr. Clark.”
Carmilla did not pry anymore. She knew how important Laura’s journalism work was to her and was not going to take that away for any reason. Something about the silence got to Laura, “Why though?”
“You know how I told you, you did get a graduation gift from me? And it’s been awhile since then?”
Laura scrunched up her face, “Oh yeah, I kinda forgot about that.”
“Well, it has just taken me a little longer to plan than I expected and I want you to have it but I don’t want it to interfere with your work.”
“What do you mean plan?” Laura had entirely looked away from her work now.
“I was planning a pretty large trip. You had been upset with me before for not traveling because you understand how much I love it and I told you that I didn’t want to be anywhere but with you. Well, I thought it would be a good present, for the both us of, if you were to go traveling with me.” Carmilla knew it was a huge commitment and she kind of dropped it on Laura out of nowhere. They had never talked about it before and it was a lot to take in. Laura did not even know the extent of the trip but it was not only a weeklong venture.
“Carm,” Laura said in a voice that was wistful and Carmilla’s heart fell. She knew that voice and it was never followed with something grand, “That sounds absolutely amazing. I would love to go traveling with you but I just don’t know when I can.”
“Yeah, I know, I just wanted to mention it.” She tried not to sound too upset because she knew that answer was coming but it was hard when it was something she was so excited about herself. To see all of her favorite places again and share them with Laura was one of the things she had wanted to do for a very long time.
“Carm,” Laura set her laptop down and cuddled against Carmilla’s side. It was instinct for Carmilla to wrap her arm around Laura and pull her tighter. “Please don’t be sad. It’ll happen. I promise. I just can’t say when yet. But, I will talk to Mr. Clark about it, okay?”
“Yeah, cutie. Of course.” Her smile was small. For once she wished Laura could choose her over work. But that would not be Laura and Carmilla would never ask her to change.
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“Catherine, the new chapter came in. I was wondering if you wanted to have a look at it when I was done,” Danny poked her head in the woman’s office. She was scribbling something on a sheet of paper, “That’d be great and I’m sure Philip would enjoy seeing it as well.”
Danny smiled and nodded, “Will do.”
The book had become so much more to all of them aside from their next project they had to publish. It was one of those that caught you quick and pulled you in and they were along for the story as much as they were along for the publishing process. Danny had met the young author once. Her name was Wilhemina Carlton and it was her first book. She was still in college, trying to graduate in the next couple years and working on a novel, never missing a deadline and never failing to blow the minds of the publishing team.
For Danny, it was not only exciting as she was assistant editing but because she helped to shape the story. She got to know the characters almost as well as Ms. Carlton knew them. It was the job of an editor to make sure the story flowed smoothly and had continuity but the detail in which she was able to work the story never crossed her mind as being something she would be involved with. Ms. Carlton and her immediately got along from their first meeting. Danny thought it could be because she was the closest in age to the young author but that immensely helped the process. It could be stressful working and finishing and then having to rework but all of her notes were taken with understanding and politeness and worked into the story in away that still kept Wilhemina’s authenticity. Danny had never seen a future for herself as a writer but being a part of the writing process was still an incredible experience.
Publishing itself was a brutally quick field. One she found herself falling into with ease. She worked well under pressure and she worked fast. Catherine was more than pleased with her and the team was abnormally well-fitted to each other. Mrs. Rubinchik called it a “publishing miracle” but Danny gave the credit to the book they were working on. Sometimes things are just easy to get along about because everyone loves the work.
“Hey, Coop!” the bounding puppy was scrabbling at the floor, jumping up and down in happiness at her return. She reached down to scratch his head before he took off in to the house. She heard sizzling from the kitchen.
“Hey, babe,” Kirsch called from over the stove. It smelled like chicken and Danny was grateful he had not gone through with his threat of hot dog mac and cheese. She could not stand the taste of hot dogs and even the thought made her queasy. Kirsch on the other hand had used it as his go-to meal throughout his four years at Silas and apparently, it had not gotten old. He reached over and pulled her to him, kissing her hello. “About the game this weekend…”
“Yes, Kirsch, I am coming,” she cut him off, rolling her eyes. He had only made sure to check every day for the last two weeks. “I know that, D-Bear. But, since we are definitely going to win, would it be cool if we got everyone to go out afterwards. I know Will is coming and I think Lafontaine is stopping by. I don’t know for sure about Laura.”
“Oh, I just talked to her today and she is coming though whether Carmilla will be dragged along, I do not know,” Danny added to his list. Kirsch nodded, “What do you think about it though?”
“I think we should go even if you don’t win.”
His eyes widened at her, “Don’t you dare.”
The game was basketball but it was a charity event to raise money for the school put on the by the high school team. It sparred teachers against administration and Kirsch was running with the blue team filled of teachers. Danny was cheering him on from the crowd, surrounded by Will and Zayne who she believed was his boyfriend. She was not sure if they were official but they had been dating for a little while and seemed to be. Lafontaine was riding solo and so was Laura. Apparently Carmilla had said that after the one hockey game she went to, she would suffer through “no more sports.”
Kirsch wiped his forehead against the sleeve of his shirt as he ran backward, calling for the ball. They were winning and it was obvious it was because Kirsch was on their team. Though it was only friendly competition between the faculty for a good cause, Kirsch and the other coach playing seemed to be the only ones with experience and unfortunately, they were on the same team. In short, the other team was losing profoundly.
Kirsch looked up in the stands and pointed at her. Danny felt like she was back in high school though that had never happened to her before. Laura squeezed her arm and smiled. Their friends still didn’t know but they were becoming much more obvious about their relationship. The buzzer sounded just as Kirsch threw the ball into the air and swoosh! The crowd erupted in cheers and the basketball team ran onto the court to congratulate their coach. The principal of the school grabbed the microphone, “Thank you all for coming out tonight! We have raised a little over a thousand dollars this evening. Thank you all for your contributions!”
When they arrived at the bar, there was a certain dark-haired woman seated at a table, nursing a glass of whiskey. “I said I didn’t like sports. I never said I didn’t like alcohol.”
Laura was instantly gone from Danny’s side. It was not unusual but could get quite annoying and though she knew Laura was oblivious, Carmilla always made a point to direct her back to the group. Kirsch was talking with some of his coworkers who had come to join the party. Lafontaine was talking with Will and Zayne and so Danny decided that was her best shot. She walked over and introduced herself as she had not yet met Zayne, “Hey, I’m Danny.”
Will swallowed quickly and made a move to introduce, “This is my friend, Zayne.”
So maybe they haven’t – “I’m actually his boyfriend. Will just hasn’t gotten used to the word yet.”
Will seemed to want to sink into the shadows, which for a Karnstein, was unusual. Carmilla hiding was just part of her air of mystery, not trying to shy away from attention. No matter if she wanted it or not, that girl never flew under the radar. Lafontaine guffawed at Will’s sheepishness and Danny stuck out a hand to pull him back into the group he was slowly tiptoeing away from, “Well, I’m glad I finally get to meet you because I have heard a lot about you.”
“From who?” Will questioned sounding scandalized. Danny raised an eyebrow, “I live with your best friend.”
“Speaking of which, Zayne you have yet to meet Kirsch and I really want you to.” Zayne smiled, “It would be my pleasure.”
Will pulled his boyfriend away from Danny who shrugged. She had wanted to actually talk to him, get to know him and Will better; he was her boyfriend’s best friend after all. Lafontaine spoke up, “Let’s go sit with the other lovebirds.”
Danny went rather reluctantly but as they neared, Carmilla sat up and shrugged Laura more into her own seat. She was actually quite pleasant when she wanted to be. Carmilla nodded her head toward them as they sat; it was her way of saying hello. “Xena.”
“Elvira.” The name-calling wasn’t insulting anymore. It was their strange and uncomfortable camaraderie. When Carmilla used her actual name, there was something wrong. “How’s the new house?”
The way Laura looked at Carmilla made Danny want to gag. “It’s pretty perfect.”
Carmilla agreed but those words would never have come out of her mouth, “We’re adjusting.”
“I know how it was moving in to a new place with someone. It’s a little weird running into each other’s space at first but you’ll find your bearings.” Danny was trying to offer advice; she had been through it with Kirsch.
“Carm and I practically lived together at my apartment anyway. This isn’t so different,” Laura explained.
“I think it is,” Carmilla retorted. Danny and Lafontaine exchanged a look because neither of them wanted to witness an argument. “What?”
“It’s our place now instead of yours. I’m not intruding anymore because it’s for the both of us. Its better.” The conversation had turned in the entire opposite direction of an argument. Laura squealed and hugged Carmilla who started to soften but when she saw Danny and Lafontaine, her face became stoic once more. “Aww, Carm! That’s so sweet.”
“I guess it’s a little bit different anyway,” Danny offered, “You guys are actually together and living together. Different dynamic.”
Carmilla stared at her for longer than Danny was comfortable and she glared back until Carmilla winked, shrugged, and sat back in her chair, “Sure it is, Xena.”
Carmilla held her gaze with a smirk as Danny processed the fact that Carmilla knew her secret.