Chapter 7
“Willia-Will, are you getting up soon?” His bedroom door creaking open and Mattie stepped in. He rolled over and pulled the covers tighter around his body. He had not missed her self-correction. “I’d rather not.”
“Its Christmas,” she said as if it was supposed to change his mind.
“Whoopi,” he groaned.
Mattie did not argue and shut the door. It was not Christmas. Mattie and his mother did not equate Christmas. He figured her would be dragged from his comfort soon enough by his mother calling him ungrateful. But Carmilla was his Christmas; she always had been. She wasn’t even there. He had pushed her to go after Laura but that didn’t mean he had actually been okay with her absence. They had already skipped their usual movie marathons and cookie baking. He had not once gotten tackled because of throwing snowballs at her. Carmilla had not been in a good state of mind for the entire month of December and for the part that she had not been missing, she had been holed up with Laura, failing to fix their relationship.
The base fact was that he didn’t believe it was fair. He would never voice that opinion to Carmilla and knowing his sister, she would be thinking about it all day. She enjoyed their traditions just as much as he did and even though they both knew their Christmas’ would eventually ended, Will had not expected it to happen so suddenly. And the thought of seeing his mother on a day he held with high regard made his entire body shudder.
His phone vibrating loudly against the wooden side table woke him next. His hand shot out from under the covers, trying to stop the incessant noise as quickly as he could. The call was from Carmilla and he thought about answering it but decided against it. Yes, he was mad at her but he was more worried he would end up saying something he regretted and could not take back. He ignored the call but saw that it was almost noon. The fact that it was already so late and no one had come into his room since Mattie earlier on was strange. He knew his mother would have a fit of him missing their Christmas dinner…unless, she was not actually present.
Will sat up straight in bed and flipped his legs over the edge. His bare feet hit the cold floor and he jumped in shock, picking up his discarded socks and pulling them up under his pajama bottoms. The door to his room opened slowly and he stuck his head out, apprehensive but he heard complete silence. That could be normal; his mother wasn’t much for small talk but he was used to her barking orders, especially if they had a cooking crew in the house. Tiptoeing down the stairs, the foyer was dark, light coming from farther down the hall in the kitchen.
The first thing he noticed was the perfectly placed white lights of the Christmas tree glowing in the living room and then he noticed Mattie and he felt sorry for her for the first time. She was sitting on one of the bar stools at the island, alone, a mug in her hand of what he was not certain. She was not wearing anything overly exorbitant for being in the house as she usually was. Instead, she had on black jeans and a large gray sweater.
“Mattie?” He has spooked her because her head whipped around and a small bit of liquid spilled over the cup. She smiled at him, warmer than he had ever seen her, “You’re finally up.”
Will stood there, looking around, trying to figure out if he was the butt of some rude joke, “Where’s mother?”
“I persuaded her to go to Brussels. She has work there and fortunately, she conceded to my argument. As long as I stay here, she has no need to return.” Will stared at her. He couldn’t figure out if she had just done something for her younger siblings who she had forsaken for years or if this was her way of climbing up the ladder to be closer to their mother’s corporate position. She could see his skepticism because her shoulders slumped in an uncharacteristically Mattie way and she sighed, “I had nothing to gain from this, Will. I was supposed to take over the gallery anyway. I was trying to help you and Carmilla. She’s gone. You don’t have to worry about her anymore.”
“Why now? Why after everything did you come back now?” he demanded of her believing it a fair question after all.
“You may not believe me but when we were younger, there was nothing I could do. I didn’t want her to turn on me. And yes, that was selfish and uncaring but I was young and green. When I was removed from the two of you, I no longer knew. I didn’t know it had become as bad as it had become until I came back here and Carmilla almost got herself run over. When mother’s outburst turned her into that shell of a girl and when you holed yourself up in your room and everything I had remembered about how sweet and honest you had been seemed to disappear. Mother had been the one to do that and I had had no idea. I refused to see when you had tried to tell me and I am sorry for that. It’s in the past and I can’t change it but I will help now because there are some things I can do. Getting mother out was the first step.”
“She always comes back,” Will wasn’t lying because she always did somehow show up again when they were least expecting it, “And I don’t understand how you got her to leave for Christmas.”
“No matter how much she enjoys holding family obligation over your heads, she rather dislikes it herself,” Mattie crossed her legs, becoming more of the women Will was used to. It wasn’t intimidating as if she was trying to overpower him, simply normal. “She much rather be surrounded by wealthy high positioned friends, bragging about this or that. And really, the Brussels gallery was falling behind with us both being here. It was an easy excuse and one that did not look so in the first place.”
“But she will come back.”
“As for that, I can’t give you an answer. She may. But again, she has no need. Your dislike for her is equally reciprocated even when she makes you act perfect so she can show off. It’s all about reputation. But if you are in the distance, she can brush off questions about you much easier than when someone can talk to you directly. She has no need for you to be around to build her brand.”
“She wants us to work for her, just like you do.”
“Will, I love this job. That’s why I do it. You’re right, she didn’t give me much choice but I never refused. I wanted it and I still do.”
Will pressed his hands against the counter edge, “But I don’t want it.”
“If she wants you, you have to.”
“That’s not how it should work!” Will shouted, the explosion coming out of nowhere. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want that life.”
Mattie was hesitant, “I did say I would help. I don’t know how much I can do, but I will help.”
“I need to change my major back.”
“Okay,” Mattie nodded.
“And I want to go to medical school.”
“Okay.”
“You’ll help me?”
“I’ll do my best.”
There was the instinct to hug her that arose in Will’s stomach but he pushed it down. He wasn’t entirely ready for that level of familiarity with her. There was too much between them for it to be forgiven with one conversation. But she at least was there for Christmas and maybe it was about time she had a real one.
“How do you feel about Christmas movies?”
“I’ve never taken the time to really watch them.”
Will gasped, “What a tragedy. How do you feel about having a movie marathon?”
“I am all for new experiences.”
“I’ll get the movies and then –“ Will’s phone rang and Mattie finished his sentence, “And I’ll get the hot chocolate?”
Will smiled at her, not quite knowing how she knew that was the right answer but appreciating she did. He dug his phone out of his pocket and the screen read Carmilla. That was the second time she had tried to call and he knew he should answer but he pressed the ‘ignore call’ button again. If one sister wasn’t present, he was going to give all his attention to the one that was, even if they had a broken relationship. I’ll give it a shot. It was Christmas. Maybe it was about time for a new perspective and a second chance.
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“Lafontaine, I don’t like this.” They were sitting together on the couch in their apartment above the bakery. It was closed in respect of the holiday but Perry had gone down earlier to bring up some pastries for their Christmas morning. Because it was just the two of them, they hadn’t planned out a large dinner thought Perry had fought for it. She always had had one but Lafontaine was right, it was expensive and extravagant for no reason; they weren’t having company. And that is what brought Perry to this current statement. Her entire life, Christmas had been a huge affair with all of her family visiting and well, this Christmas was rather lackluster. Of course, she loved spending time with Lafontaine and they were able to make even the smallest things fun, but right now, they weren’t doing anything but staring at the tree and Perry was becoming restless.
“Ouch.”
“No. Lafontaine, that’s not what I meant.”
“I’m just giving you a hard time, Perry,” they laughed. Perry scowled at them, making them laugh even more. Perry was lying against the soft fabric of their Christmas sweater. They had gone out together and bough them, just to wear on Christmas day. Perry’s own was covered in gingerbread cookies against a red backdrop. Each cookie was decorated with a frosting smile and three multi-colored buttons. Lafontaine’s was green with prancing reindeer and some scattered snowmen. It was festive and so was their apartment. They had opened the few gifts they had gotten one another; Perry had given Lafontaine a new lab coat with their name embroidered on the pocket, a vest to try and replace the horrid jean one but she didn’t have high hopes and Dr. Yate’s new book on science and the supernatural. In return she had received a new Christmas cookie plate and what had touched her even more was the light pink pearl necklace. Lafontaine had gone too far with that gift and Perry had made sure they knew that. They had waived her off and reached around her neck to fasten it.
They had taken a couple of photos together for Perry’s scrapbooking, a hobby that had recently reared its head. She wasn’t sure if would last but it helped relax her after days at the bakery. But they were currently sitting, doing nothing and had almost the entirety of Christmas day left.
Perry sat up, Lafontaine removing their arm from around her shoulder. “Perry, just call them already.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not gonna sit here all day and watch you fidget. It’ll be nice to have some company.” Lafontaine smiled, all their teeth showing. Perry kissed their cheek and went to get the phone. It rang a few more times than she was comfortable with but eventually it was picked up, “Hello?”
“Kirsch?”
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Something heavy fell on her and she let out a groan. Whatever it was, it had woken her up.
“It’s Christmas!” Kirsch’s voice was too loud and Danny realized he had jumped on top of her. She pushed him off to pull the covers over her head but it didn’t entirely muffle his laughs.
“That is not the way to wake some one up ever.” She didn’t see the point of getting up. When she was a child, she would get up at six am and wake her parents up because she was so excited to open all the presents from Santa. That excitement had disappeared with the years. Celebration could wait until closer to noon, so she did not move.
Kirsch started shaking her, pushing her arm until she had enough and flipped over, trying to get him off the bed.
“Come on, Danny! I’ve been up for hours.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to do something nice…” he trailed off as if he was shy. That peaked her interest and she opened her eyes and yawned. “What did you do?”
“Get dressed and come see,” he bounded away, out of the room. It took her a few more minutes to drag herself out of the warmth of the covers, the chill of the air sending goose bumps across her skin. She pulled on jeans as quickly as she could but they failed to warm her, being as cool as they were. A white sweater accompanied the jeans and socks just for good measure. When she opened the door of the room, the enticing smell of coffee and breakfast pulled her forward. Christmas music floated up the stairs as well and looking down she saw lights, brighter than the upstairs and her eyes blinked, adjusting to the light.
She appeared in the kitchen and Kirsch immediately accosted her. “Coffee? Eggnog? OJ?” he asked, pointing to each drink as he rattled them off. The table was set with all the breakfast foods Danny could name: eggs, bacon, sausage, pancake and waffles, toast, fruit, and the list went on. Much more than two people could consume. She pointed it out to Kirsch, whose response was, “ I wanted it to look awesome.”
She rolled her eyes and requested a cup of coffee. Kirsch jumped to get it for her. He was also wearing jeans and a sweater but his was red with white lines across the sleeves near the wrist. “How long did this take you?”
“A couple of hours. I got up at eight.” It was closer to noon than she had thought when he woke her. They sat down to “The Christmas Song,” Kirsch barely in his seat before a spoonful of eggs was on his plate.
Danny stacked her plate with pancakes but kept going, seeing how high she could get before they fell and Kirsch reached over, dumping almost half the bottle of syrup on top of the mountain; the sticky sauce slowly running down the sides. “You just ruined all the pancakes.”
“I did not,” he said, stabbing a fork in them and pulling them roughly apart before stuffing the massive bite in his mouth and chewing with his mouth open just to annoy her. She made a scrunched up face at him, “You’re disgusting.”
“But the pancakes aren’t.”
They spent the rest of breakfast fooling around with their food more than eating it; she felt so childish flicking bits of bacon at Kirsch’s head but it was so much fun. At first he would flinch every time they hit his cheek or forehead but then he started batting them away with his hand until it became more of a ‘how far can I whack this’ game and Danny shut it down. Picking bacon bites out of the carpet was not in her plans for the day.
Danny wiped a napkin across her mouth and balled it up on the table, “I should call my parents, wish them a Happy Christmas.”
Kirsch pushed off from the table, “I’ve already spoken to my family so I’m on cleanup duty.”
“I’ll help when I’m off the phone.”
“I bet you I’ll be done by then.”
Danny surveyed the amount of dirty dishes scattered across the kitchen, “Oh, I doubt it.”
Kirsch held out a hand, “No, I’ll really bet you.”
“Fine,” Danny reached out but hesitated, “but what are you betting?”
“You have dish duty for a month.”
Danny narrowed her eyes as Kirsch kept her gaze. She caught his hand in hers and shook but he smiled, “And a kiss.”
He whirled off into the kitchen to start as Danny pulled out her phone, both of them in a race. She realized she could easily cut her conversation short with her parents and catch him off guard but it was a big holiday she was missing with them and figured it better to give them an actual conversation. She still didn’t expect Kirsch to be able to finish before she did so she fell onto the couch and pulled out her phone. Her parents answered on the first ring and started talking at the same time, “Merry Christmas, hun.”
“You’re on speaker.”
“I figured that one,” Danny chuckled, “Happy Christmas, guys. How’s everyone?”
“We had to drag James out of bed this morning. You know you weren’t like that when you were little. He doesn’t seem to care about Christmas.”
“I’m sure Sammy was just thrilled.”
“You’re father wasn’t at five am when he jumped on our bed.”
“Wow, I wasn’t even that bad.” Danny’s small twin brothers were both two completely different kids. They had a strange relationship; she felt more like their aunt than their sister. Her mother had had Danny when she was fairly young and had never planned on having other kids but eventually it was a conversation again and along came the twins. They were both red-haired, freckled boys who resembled Danny far more than she wished. Being so much older, they had never really had a strong sibling bond. They were both ten at the moment and so when she had left for college they had only been about six years old.
Danny had never seen the point of her parents having more children but it was something they had really wanted and there were no reason they should not have more kids; the timing was just weird for Danny to have baby brothers. They almost weren’t a part of her life at all. She was busy in high school when they came around and was used as a free babysitter. She had a lot more on her mind than James and Sammy and that might have been a mistake on her part but she was always going to go away for college so what was the point of building an inseparable relationship and then ripping it apart. They never paid her much heed anyway; they always had each other to play with.
For the years she had been with Laura, Laura never had met them. She wasn’t certain Laura knew they existed. Kirsch definitely didn’t; it was something she would have to tell him. Telling him about her brothers was definitely making their relationship sound like a long time thing and she found herself smiling about that revelation. She was sure Kirsch would get a kick out of the boys.
“Are you guys going over to the Mark’s for lunch?”
“Actually we are heading up to see your grandparents today.” Danny thought that was weird. Usually her grandparents drove down to their house for the holidays and they all went over to the Mark’s house, which was the home of her mother’s best friend.
“Why are you going up there?”
“Your grandfather wasn’t certain he could make the drive this year.” Danny’s forehead wrinkled, “Is he okay?”
“He’s just getting older.”
“You would tell me right?”
“Of course,” her dad spoke up.
Danny let out a breath of air, “I still feel like there’s something you aren’t telling me.”
“There really isn’t, honey. Just a change of scenery for our Christmas. We’ll be up there for a few days if you call the home phone.”
Danny was not certain they were telling her the truth but she couldn’t think of why they would be lying to her. Danny wasn’t particularly close to any of her family but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about them. Hiding something wasn’t protecting her, it was just making her unnecessarily nervous.
“You want to say hello to Kirsch?”
“Of course!” Her parents were always overly excited to talk to Kirsch, whom they had never actually met in person. For some reason, that guy had the ability to make anyone like him; even if it had taken years, it had eventually worked with her. She dragged herself off the couch and through the doorway into the kitchen, holding the phone out, “My parents want to say hi.”
He was elbow deep in bubbles, “Are you trying to make me lose?”
“No,” she responded defensively, though the thought had crossed Danny’s mind, “they just want to say hi.”
Kirsch looked at his wet hands like he didn’t know how to dry them off so Danny just held the phone to his ear. “Hey Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence. Happy Christmas.”
He paused as they spoke and then he laughed, “Yeah, same here…yep…alright…well, it was nice to speak with you…okay…bye.”
Danny pulled the phone back and Kirsch’s hands flew back into the sink and he started making needlessly loud noises until she flicked him off and left the room again. “He seems well.”
“He is.”
“She’s so talkative isn’t she?” Danny knew they were talking to each other at this point. “Leave her alone. She’s probably busy; it’s Christmas.”
“Guys, I can hear you.”
“Well, then, we’ll let you go, hun. We’ll tell your brothers you said hi. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Kirsch was not even halfway done with the dishes when she reentered the kitchen, “No dish duty for me!”
He scowled at her and continued scrubbing a pan, “It’s these damn eggs.”
She scooted herself between him and the sink, “But you can still have a kiss.”
Her arms wrapped around his waist and she tilted her head up a fraction of an inch to reach his lips. He was always so warm and she smiled against his lips. He was staring at her smiling back, but then the corner of his mouth pulled into that goofy smile of his that she loved and he glanced up, her eyes followed. With one hand he was holding mistletoe above their heads, water dripping from his fingers down his arm, staining his sweater. A few droplets hit Danny in the face and she wiped them off, “Did you pull that out of your pocket?”
“I had plans for today."
She laughed, “Yeah, I can see that.”
“I had very interesting plans for today,” he responded, pushing her harder against the counter and dipping his head back to hers. Just as he was about to kiss her, his phone went off and he groaned, “Why me?”
Danny pushed him away and he fell against the island, grabbing his phone from the charger and answering it. “Hello?”
He was silent as he listened to whomever it was who had called. He pulled the phone away from his ear, “Perry wants to know if we want to join them for Christmas."
“What about your plans?”
He shrugged, “They were some great plans but -”
“What about our tradition making?”
His head tilted as he thought, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“But then again, they’re our friends.”
“You are absolutely no help. Are we going or not?”
Danny looked around the house. She saw the lighted tree. She heard the music. She saw Kirsch in front of her and realized the only tradition she needed was one that included him. The house was great but it wasn’t what made Christmas special; that happened when her boyfriend made a stupidly large breakfast and then threw it at her. “If it’s okay with you, let’s go.”
“You’re the boss,” he said and then into the phone, “We should be there about one thirty…awesome. See ya then.”
He pointed at Danny but she gestured ‘no’ with her hands, “Uh uh, I’m not cleaning this up. That’s your job.”
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“You call Will?” was Kirsch’s first words after ‘Happy Christmas’ when Perry let him in the apartment.
“We did but he didn’t pick up.”
“Let me try.”
“Kirsch, you could really –”
“He’s my friend, Danny.” Kirsch stepped back out the door, leaving it cracked just a little so he could reenter. He held his arms closer to his body, trying to stay warm in the cold air of the city. “Kirsch.”
“Will, hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing much. Happy Christmas, man.”
“Same to you, bro. Are you busy today? We weren’t planning on it but Perry and Lafontaine invited us last minute. They said they tried calling but you didn’t answer. Anyway, you should come.”
“Oh, yeah, well -”
“Oh, are you with Carmilla? If that’s the case, I totally get it, dude.” Kirsch knew of Will and Carmilla’s Christmas stuff and in no way wanted to step in the middle of it.
“It’s not that,” Will seemed hesitant, “Carmilla’s not here. But I can’t come.”
“Your mother?”
“No, no. I’m actually spending the day with Mattie.”
“Mattie…”
“Yeah, its no big deal. Just family stuff. But thanks for the invite. I should probably go now.”
“Okay, Will. But like, if you need anything, just call.”
“Thanks. Again, Happy Christmas.”
Kirsch walked confused back into the apartment and it did not take but a few seconds for the three others to ask him what was up.
“Mattie? As in the terrible sister who came back and helped their mother ruin their lives?”
“Lafontaine, don’t be like that,” Perry reproached.
“Perr, it’s the truth. I’m just speaking the truth.”
“Did he sound okay?” Danny asked, placing her hand on his arm. He looked over at her. “He sounded weird but not in a bad way. It was like he didn’t even know what he was doing with Mattie. It’s his choice though. I can’t stop him if he wants to be with her.”
“And Carmilla’s not there?” Danny asked.
“No, she’s still with Laura.”
“And where’s that? I know you know.” She asked it accusatorially and Kirsch thought that maybe she had figured out what his secret phone calls were all about.
Kirsch pursed his lips, “She’s at her dad’s.”
Danny’s mouth fell open, “Well, this just keeps getting weirder.”
“Well come in, come in,” Perry ushered them through the entry hallway, “We have a ton of goodies from the bakery to munch on. I don’t have a big meal; this was last minute and all.”
“I’m sure they weren’t expecting anything,” Lafontaine popped a tart in their mouth and Kirsch followed, the cherry sweet on his tongue. “Wow, this is sooo good.”
“Thank you, Kirsch.”
“There’s a Christmas concert special on that Kirsch and I had heard about, if you want to turn that on.”
“That sounds fun,” Perry responded. Lafontaine started toward the living room, “I’ll get it. Oh and Kirsch, you gotta tell me how the job’s going?”
Kirsch started into his story and they all went around in a circle pretty much just talking about their current situations. Nothing had changed much from the last time they had all seen each other even though it had been about a month before. Kirsch had to remember to keep space between Danny and himself when he caught himself almost putting his arm around her shoulders as they sat next to the couch together. She noticed and squeezed his leg as if to say “its okay.” It was harder than he thought after being so comfortable in their own home with each other. Lafontaine and Perry on the other hand had no problem sitting close to each other, holding hands. He was really missing Laura. They always talked on Christmas and he hadn’t heard from her yet today. He missed Will whom he was concerned about; being home alone with Mattie. And he thought about Carmilla, hoping her and Laura had made amends and that she was in a better place. She had scared him big time.
He was not sure if Danny felt it as much as he did but the fact that they had put their traditions off for the next year did not faze him. He was content with the fact that they were together on Christmas and that was just the same as a tradition to him. Even better in fact.