Chapter 1
The yellow haze of the early morning sun streamed in through the open blinds, lighting the living room and kitchen without the need for any lights to be turned on. The window was open, the sounds of birds waking up drifted through the apartment along with the not-yet-stifling warm air that was sure to come as the day went on. The start of September had not brought any relief to the heat and humidity of the summer months as everyone had hoped for.
She yawned, stretching up to the top of the doorway and tapping the wooden frame, feeling her shirt lift up with her until she dropped her arms with a loud sigh and padded across the living room carpet to the kitchen. With a flick, she turned on the coffee maker to heat the water before clicking on the speakers and opening her music up on her phone. She hummed nothing in particular along with the sound of acoustic guitars that streamed through the space until the machine beeped, signaling that the water was hot enough. She placed her mug under on the machine and set it to brew one cup. Liquid trickled slowly into her cup and the machine whirred with the effort, but when it was done, she poured hot water from the water retainer into a carry-out thermos and emptied a packet of chocolate powder into it, stirring until the powder was fully dissolved. She set that cup aside and picked up her own, sipping the hot contents despite the heat and hoping that maybe the caffeine would wake her up enough so that she would not end up back in bed.
The shower water turning off was more noticeable as it had become only a droning noise in the background and even with the calm music, the place seemed quieter. She jumped up onto the counter, holding the mug in her hands, between her bare thighs and twiddled her thumbs, listening to the girl in the bathroom knock around and jostle things, making more noise than seemingly possible for one person.
She was eyeing the door in anticipation when it burst open, a tiny bundle of nerves stumbling forth and heading straight for the bedroom. She chuckled under her breath but jumped from her seat on the counter and grabbed the travel mug, sliding it along the surface to the edge where she leaned and waited yet again. It did not take long before there were clicks on the hardwood floor and appearing around the corner was a frenzied girl.
The girl was wearing dark jeans and a white blouse with a navy blue blazer and short black heels that did not do much to improve her height. She had set an oversized black purse on the counter and was digging through it, apparently unable to find something she desperately needed. Her voice was harried when she spoke, “I’m late and I can’t find –”
The hot chocolate was nudged towards her and the dangling of keys caused her to look up, relief flooding across her stressed out features when she saw what the object was. She snatched the keys and leaned up on her toes, landing a quick kiss on the corner of the other girl’s mouth. She tasted like artificial strawberries and her lips were somewhat sticky from whatever she had applied to them. It must have been then when the shorter girl noticed what her girlfriend was wearing, or lack of what she was wearing and she paused, her eyes roaming across bare skin before she shook her head, “No, no, nope. I’m already late.”
And just like that, she slung the straps of the bag over her shoulders and yelled as the door was closing behind her, “Wish me luck!”
“Buena suerte, Laura.”
The door clicked shut and she slid to the floor, the coffee along for the ride and miraculously not spilling anywhere as she collided with the tile.
Laura had an interview at the Styrian Journal to see if they would offer her a junior reporter position, an interview that she had not stopped talking about for weeks. Her days were filled with worrying and wondering and trying to figure out how she would make such a schedule work with the last two semesters of school that she had to push her way through. But there was also an underlying joy that fought to get to the surface and it was apparent how much Laura was trying not to get excited in case they did not choose to hire her and just for that reason, Carmilla thought she should have the job. She had already been dedicated to the paper since the beginning of the year; she had a far greater workload than any intern should have and always accomplished the task in the right amount of time with a smile on her face. So, she had complained once or twice about the hours but Carmilla would have been more worried if she had not and it was not in such a way that would portray her unhappiness in the situation. It was in the way that tired people always complained about something that was running them ragged and if Laura was anything, she was amazing at showing that the job never got to her.
Carmilla’s frustration came about because The Journal’s office was located in the city and so Laura would be spending a lot of time there…in the same place that Carmlla spent most of her time without Laura’s knowledge. Everyday when Laura thought she was in class or at one of her convenient shifts at The Nook during the times that Laura had class, she was instead, in the Law Offices of Scott and Belmonde, working as translator for the company. It was never something she envisioned herself doing but she had grown bored with the vast amounts of free time she had since being out of school. Without anyone’s knowledge, except for Will who only found out because she had slipped up with her schedule, Carmilla had been able to graduate three semesters early. Her home schooling throughout childhood had greatly helped with that but it was also her college credits she received in high school, her ability to test out of all of the introduction classes for the languages she was majoring and minoring in, the online classes that she did not even need to bother studying for, and her ability to read books faster than anyone she had ever met in her life, that made the early graduation a real possibility. There was not a ceremony, at least one she attended, and the piece of paper that was her diploma seemed very insignificant to the last fifteen years she had spent in schooling. It was not a big ordeal as everyone seemed to make it and much more of an anti-climactic step forward in life that only guaranteed someone she did not care about, looking into her for a job she most likely had no interest in.
She took the job because she had decided the only way she was going to be entirely out of her mother’s world and by default, Mattie’s, was to be able to support herself. The law office offered her a lot more money than she had expected to receive with her degree but her already fluent nature was all they cared about. She had thought about staying in school and getting a master’s but realized that it was unnecessary if she could speak the language. The possibility of getting her PhD in philosophy was still in her plan but that could wait; she would only be getting it for herself and unless she wrote a book, there were not many positions in the job market for someone with a degree in philosophy. Teaching maybe, but that would never happen. She could barely deal with one idiot at a time, let alone a classroom full of them.
Eventually Laura was going to find out whether it be when Carmilla did not cross the stage with her in May or sooner and the inevitability was that she would be angry and yell at Carmilla for lying for months. And Carmilla would stand there silently and take it all because Laura would not be wrong, but she would not understand the reasons that Carmilla would do so. Laura would be pissed that she had stayed behind with her, that she had let a year of her life go by without going after what she wanted but to Carmilla, she was exactly where she wanted to be. With her passion for languages came her passion for travel and she had always wanted to adventure through the world and she still did want that. But now, she wanted that to be a reality for both herself and Laura and there was nothing that could make her take away the life that Laura wanted to live. If that meant staying in Silas and then Styria, then so be it. Maybe in their future the travel plans would become a part of their world, but with Laura’s budding journalism career, Carmilla could not with good intentions, remove her from a situation that held so much possibility for her.
And Carmilla was not necessarily unhappy. She could not say she was happy either but that had nothing to do with Laura because the only thing that girl ever did was give her happiness. She was content. She was, to all intensive purposes, living with the one person she was in love with. She got to be there when Laura woke up and before she fell asleep. She got to see the enthusiasm bubbling in Laura’s eyes whenever something exciting happened. She got to talk to, listen to, touch, kiss and fall asleep next to the only person since Elle, who captured her heart right from her chest.
So, she sat on the floor, sipping her coffee, and waiting for Laura to come back home. Well…maybe in her dreams that was her life but instead there was a loud rap on the door followed by, “Millie put some pants on, I’m coming in!”
Will did not wait to see if she had listened to his order and flung the door open like a cartoon character before striding through the door and coming to a skidding halt when he saw her on the floor, glaring at him over the edge of the mug. “Why are you on the floor?”
“Why are you in my house?” she sneered.
“I would say touché except that this isn’t your house and if you were at your actual house, it would be my house too.”
Carmilla rolled her eyes and clambered up from the ground, “Fine, why are you in Laura’s apartment,” she checked the clock on the microwave, “at this hour specifically.”
“Well,” he stated as he jumped up to sit on the countertop, dropping his bag haphazardly to the floor and all in all making himself at home, “just came over here to ask you a question?”
Carmilla spread her arms out in front of her, “And…?”
“You tell her yet?”
“Dick,” she responded, swatting at him. She dumped the rest of the contents of her cup into the sink, not bothering to actually wash it, before passing him on her way to the bedroom.
“You’re gonna have to some day, Millie?”
Before slamming the door shut she turned and listed, “Today is not that day. Don’t call me that. And, get out of my house.”
The door closed with a loud thud but she heard Will laugh over the noise, “Laura’s house.”
“Whatever,” she called to him, annoyed at her little brother’s prying. She looked around the room, seeing that is was messier than she had ever seen it before but shrugging, indifferent to the state. She seized her leather pants from the back of Laura’s desk chair where she had left them hanging the day before and easily pulled the snug pants up before lacing up her heeled ankle boots. She could already feel her entire body getting hotter but the pants were a necessity for work and she had been dealing with it for the last month just fine. She tucked in the white button down, leaving the top two buttons open to help with the stifling sensation and made sure her anchor necklace was laying flat against her chest, underneath the shirt. Carmilla removed her ID from her wallet and stuck it in her phone case, along with her credit card and a few dollars in cash before shoving it at far as it would possibly fit in her pocket.
Upon exiting the room, she groaned, “I thought I told you to leave.”
“I didn’t.”
“Yeah, I can see that. Don’t you have a class to be at?”
“Technically yeah but I’m not going today.”
Carmilla pursed her lips, “Yeah you are.”
“No, I’m skipping. I promised Laf I would go into the city to help Perry with the bakery. Kirsch is helping too. We can go together,” he said, excitedly hopping from the counter.
“No, we aren’t. You are going to class and I am going to work.”
Will’s eyes narrowed, “Why are you being like this?”
“'Cause I’m your big sister.”
“So, you never -”
“And you’re not my big sister.”
There was a moment of silence where they both stared at each other, seeing if the other would break first. Carmilla was not going to have her brother skipping class only a couple weeks into the year to go help people who should know better than to ask him to miss school. He was going into medical school; he could not afford to miss anything. Will’s shoulders slouched and he mumbled, “Fine.”
He pulled out his phone and stuck his tongue out at her, “Hey, Laf. I’m going to have to bail on today….yeah, I know...I know I promised…Car…yeah, Carmilla’s making me go to class…jeez…sorry…I didn’t think you…yes, I know…it’s important…alright then…yeah, see ya.”
Carmilla stood with a triumphant smirk on her face after listening to the one side of his conversation. He hung up, “Oh don’t look at me like that.”
She nodded towards the door, “Just get going.”
He gathered his bag from the ground, “Wait, how do you even get into the city anyway.”
Carmilla was not sure what he was going on about but it seemed like an obvious answer to her, “I take the bus.”
“You could never take the bus.”
“Well, I take the bus now.”
“But -”
“And it’s fine.”
“The bus was never fine before -”
“Well, it is now, Will,” she replied, forcefully, “I don’t need an interrogation about it.”
“You didn’t tell me.”
“It’s not a big deal,” she said, trying to push past him to the door.
He scoffed and took a hold of her arm, “I beg to differ. That’s a huge deal.”
Carmilla did not know what he wanted to hear from her. She did not have a detailed explanation on why she could now ride the bus; one day it simply did not seem so terrible and since then, everything had been going smoothly. The corners of his mouth were turned down and his eyes were pleading, “Please don’t shut me out now. You used to tell me things and now you seem to be keeping everything from.”
She tugged her arm away from him, “Your friends with Laura and your also friends with all of Laura’s friends.”
“Wait, Laura doesn’t know?”
“No,” Carmilla muttered.
“You do know that I wouldn’t tell them? I don’t just say things.” His voice was rising; she could tell he was getting angry now. “What do I have to do to prove that to you? I’ve been your secret keeper and confidant for our entire lives and now just because I finally have some friends, I lose my sister? That’s not fair, Carmilla. You know me better than that.”
He was waiting for her to respond, she could tell by the anticipation that was charging the air but she had nothing to say to him. He was right. But the deed had already been done and an apology would be empty. He let out an angry snort, “Fine.”
He stormed to the door and pulled it open, “It’s ridiculous that you won’t tell me but it’s just plain stupid that you don’t tell Laura.”
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“If you could put that box there and that one over there and that small one right up there on the counter,” she said, pointing this way and that with each instruction. Dropclothes, boxes, and an assortment of tools were strewn about the floor and all the counters, making Perry anxious even though she knew the mess was necessary to make the place presentable. The boxes were set down with a loud grunt from Kirsch before Danny came in through the back door with more and Perry directed her. Lafontaine followed in soon, their arms empty, “Well, that’s it out of the van.”
Perry clasped her hands together, “Thank you for helping us today.”
“Of course,” Danny replied, wiping her forehead. The air conditioning unit had not been turned on yet and would not be turned on until they were ready to open and so the heat was not going to be helpful as they renovated. Even with the backdoor open wide, the breeze was not enough for any sort of relief.
Kirsch clapped, “So what’s first?”
“We should start painting so that it can dry before we start putting up more shelves or moving things around. The less that is in here gives us more room to work on the walls.”
“Sounds good to me,” Lafontaine responded, dragging paint cans from the corner to the middle of the room. Perry pointed to the front of the shop, “Kirsch and Danny, if you want to start out there and Lafontaine and I will do back here. If we split up we might get more done.”
“Aye aye, captain,” Kirsch saluted before grabbing a couple buckets of paint. Danny scooped up the rollers and brushes, “All the walls are gonna be the same?”
“There’s half height wood paneling out there so just above that,” Perry paused and thought for a second, “Actually, all of the ones but this back one here. This will be different.”
“Okay, got it!” Danny disappeared after Kirsch and Perry found that Lafontaine was opening the paint with a screwdriver. “Isn’t there a better way to do this?”
“I don’t know, Perr. I’m not a professional painter,” they wiped a hand across their forehead and somehow already had paint streaked across their face making Perry laugh. “What? Do I have something on my face?”
They smiled widely at their own joke and Perry bent down to pour the off-white color onto the tray. She felt giddy. This was the beginning of something huge for her. She had finally built up the courage and rented the space for her own bakery a couple weeks before. Once all the paperwork had been done, she started devising decorating plans and once they were completed, the store would be open for business. The distribution center she was working with had a factory just outside of the main city so she did not have to worry about her deliveries coming from far distances.
Perry was grateful that she had friends who were willing to help them set up shop because the amount of work to be done was very overwhelming and she was not sure that herself and Lafontaine would be enough manpower to handle it; at least in a timely fashion. She wanted to the doors to open for the first time by the start of November but Lafontaine had told her that she should not expect everything to go smoothly and if they had to push that date back farther, they would just have to do that. Perry had a plan though and November would be the prime time to open. It would be just in time for holiday season and having business boom at the start would really amp up their advertising and sales. She was hoping it would give them a kick-start so they were not struggling for the first year.
When she had explained her plan to Lafontaine there had been no hesitation, they were entirely onboard and any fear she had of them being upset that they would be staying in Styria flew out the window when they told her that Dr. Pierson had gotten them a research position at some facility that Perry could never remember the name of. Lafontaine wasn’t starting until the next year but Dr. Pierson was keeping them on as a teaching assistant for the time being and they had be adamant that Perry was not holding them back from anything and they were excited for her. At first she was distant, not sure if she could believe them, but they explained that they had not had any plans for after their summer study and that this gave them the excuse to make some. Then she blushed when they went on to tell her that anywhere she was, was where they were meant to be. When that had been her original fear, that they would pick her over their future, she was now seeing that every image of her own future she could think of included Lafontaine and that wishing otherwise for them was being hypocritical.
Perry was bent down, her back cramping but dedicated to the job, trying to paint along the baseboard as cleanly as possible. She almost messed up when Lafontaine whispered in her ear, “Watch this.”
They then quietly crept along the wall, paintbrush in hand and Perry was confused and whispered, “Lafontaine.”
They turned around placing one finger over their mouth to tell her to be quiet. Then, they beckoned for her to follow them and she did so reluctantly. They both peeked around the corner of the doorway and saw Kirsch and Danny on opposite walls, not needing rollers for much except right next to the ceiling; their height was quite an advantage for the job. Lafontaine crouched down and Perry followed suit, still not sure what was happening but starting to think that she was not going to like it very much. Once they were near the end of the counter where the opening was to enter the rest of the store, Lafontaine stood up, “Hey Kirsch!”
They shouted and just as Kirsch turned to look. Lafontaine whipped the hand holding the paintbrush out in front of them, sending paint flying through the air to splatter all over Kirsch. Perry grabbed at Lafontaine’s arm, “What do you think you’re doing?”
Kirsch looked himself up and down as if he had not processed what had just happened but when he looked back up, his smile said otherwise, “Oh, it’s on.”
Perry and Danny’s eyes met for a few second and they shared the same look of horror. Danny looked sideways, “Kirsch.”
But he only had eyes for Lafontaine and acted like he had not heard her. Very slowly without taking his eyes from Lafontaine, he reached down and picked up his entire tray of paint and coated a paintbrush with it. Perry stood behind the counter, paralyzed knowing that she could not stop this and also knowing that the mess was going to cover everything. She had not envisioned splatter-painted walls or even a cream spotted wooden countertop but that was what the future was about to look like.
Kirsch flung the paintbrush but Lafontaine ducked and though the paintbrush flew by her, the paint dislodged and hit Perry right in the face. Lafontaine looked up from where they were kneeling, their eyes wide and their teeth set together in worry. It was cold and wet and altogether uncomfortable but before she could wipe it off, Danny had sprinted across the room and slapped a handful of paint onto Kirsch’s face. He picked her up and she squealed and before Perry knew what was happening, Lafontaine, Danny, and Kirsch were in the middle of an all out paint war and all she could do was retreat to the back room so that she did not get caught in the crossfire. Perry wished that for just one day they could act mature enough and get to work. This was extremely important to her and she understood they were only have a little fun and taking a break but they would be responsible for cleaning up the mess they were undoubtedly creating and making sure that everything looked shiny again.
Perry went back to work on the wall, filling in the space and letting the paint drip down behind the baseboard wood so that no other color showed through. The back had been a dark blue and so they would need a few coats of the lighter paint to cover everything seamlessly. The squeals and yells from the other room drowned out whatever thoughts she may have had until there was a knock at the back door that they had left open.
Carmilla stood in the doorway wearing her usual leather pants and a white button down shirt that looked like it had been quickly un-tucked. The sleeves were rolled up haphazardly but Perry could not blame her in the heat. She had a weary look on her face as if she was not sure she was welcome. Perry stood up, “Carmilla, it’s so nice to see you.”
“Uh, yeah,” the girl returned, stepping through the door.
“I wasn’t expecting you.” That was putting things lightly. Perry had never in a million years expected Carmilla of all people to show up to help, if of course that’s what she was here for. But what was even more surprising was that she seemed to be alone; there was no sign of Laura about and that was very unlike Carmilla. Usually they were either together, not there at all, or Carmilla was missing. This was a first for Laura to not be in attendance, which brought about a lot of questions Perry was most definitely not going to ask. It was not polite to intrude on people’s private business.
A loud war-cry sounded and Lafontaine came barreling through into the backroom. They looked over their shoulder at Kirsch who was right behind them and tripped over the edge of the tarp. Kirsch had a glob of paint aimed at Lafontaine but when they fell, the blob flew threw the air, hitting Carmilla in the chest. Perry had a flashback to her own casualty earlier on.
Kirsch stopped in his tracks. Lafontaine looked up from their spot on the floor. Danny who had just peeked her head through the door, froze. Everyone was looking at Carmilla to see what her reaction was going to be. The entire place went from shouts to complete silence in a manner of seconds.
She lifted a hand up to the paint on her shirt and wiped off what she could, flicking her wrist and sending it splatting onto the floor next to her. Her face was blank and there was no telling what she was going to do until she did it. She walked over to the full tray that Perry was using, picked it up off the floor, walked back over to Kirsch, and as best as she could due to the height difference, lifted it up and poured the entirety of the tray over his body. He stiffened on the spot and once Carmilla had dropped the tray to the ground and the paint started dripping off his hair, a laugh bust forth from Danny and then Laftontaine could not help themselves and rolled on the ground, holding their stomach. Even Carmilla showed a tiny smirk and all Kirsch could do was surrender. Carmilla placed her hands on her hips, “Maybe now we could stop acting like children and get back to work.”
That was a nice idea except Perry was not sure how much more they could get done seeing that their paint supply had been greatly diminished by the fight. “I’ll go out and buy us some more paint, I guess. I was hoping to get the first coat done tonight.”
Danny walked forward and nudged Kirsch, giving him a look and whispering something to him that Perry could not hear. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, pulling out a credit card, “Here Perry. Use mine. This was my fault in the first place.”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” she responded, feeling weird about using someone else’s money for her own business.
“No, I insist. You wouldn’t need more if I hadn’t retaliated.”
Perry looked at Lafontaine who was staring anywhere but at her, “Lafontaine? Shouldn’t you technically be paying for it?”
They finally looked at her and after a few seconds sighed, “Alright fine,” they said before looking at Kirsch, “But he’s paying for half.”
Kirsch shrugged, “Fine by me. Lead the way.”
The exited through the back door and Danny apologized again, “Sorry about him. I’ll get back out there and see what else I can get done before they get back.”
She left the room too, leaving Carmilla and Perry standing in awkward silence. Perry had not had much alone time with Carmilla and saying they were good friends or even friends for that matter was a stretch but she held out a paintbrush and Carmilla took it without argument. She went over to the opposite wall where an open can of paint sat and unbuttoned her spoiled shirt, rolling it off her shoulders, exposing a black sports bra underneath. It was probably more comfortable now that she was not covered in paint and also not wearing long sleeves. Perry looked away quickly and went back to her own wall.
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“Look who we found!” Kirsch announced as he pushed Laura into the room. His best friend lifted up a hand to wave, “Hey, Perry. Hey…Carmilla?”
There was obvious shock in her voice upon seeing her girlfriend there. Equal surprise showed itself on Carmilla’s face thought it faded quickly, “Hey, cupcake.”
“What are you doing here? Kirsch, you didn’t tell me she was here.”
Kirsch frowned, “I thought you knew.”
He had no desire to be caught in the middle of whatever lover’s quarrel was about to take place and Lafontaine must have had the same thought because they spoke up, “Hey, lets take these cans in the front for Danny.”
“Good thinking,” they quickly escaped the room. Danny looked up as they entered the front, “I thought I heard you guys.”
Kirsch lifted up the two cans, “We’ve come bearing gifts.”
“Did I hear Laura?” she asked as she took one from him.
“Yeah, apparently she didn’t know Carmilla was here. It was awkward. We left.”
“They’re fighting about that?”
“I don’t know. We left before we could find out.” Kirsch hoped they did not fight over something that didn’t seem to be a huge deal but Laura seemed very confused and he was well aware that her confusion could easily turn into anger if she was not careful. She was never actually angry but it still incited defensiveness in anyone she was talking to and if he had seen anything of Carmilla, she was well versed in that exact reaction.
“Well, in the meantime,” Lafontaine said, dipping their paintbrush in a tray that had not been emptied by their paint fight, “I’m going to stay in here with you guys.”
“Fine by me, we’ll get done more quickly,” Danny shrugged.
Kirsch joined Lafontaine on the one wall, leaving Danny to do the other by herself. “How’s the job? The team? It’s been a few weeks since we really talked.”
“Well, that job's good. I’ve gotten a lot of clients at the gym. The high school season has not started yet. We don’t have tryouts until October and our practices don’t start until halfway through November. So slow there but I am working with the trainer for the tennis players right now. That’s been interesting. How’s your internship?”
Kirsch was really looking forward to tryouts and seeing what work he was going to have to do with the players. Getting to know the kids and their strengths was the best part of the job; at least that’s what he thought would be the best part. He knew having a close relationship with his coaches was very important to him and he wanted to offer that same bond with his team.
Lafontaine paused and looked at him, “Did I not ever tell you guys?”
They looked to Danny, who had stopped painting, and back to Kirsch, “Dr. Pierson got me a job at The Vordenburg BioLabs Research facility here in the city.”
“That’s great, Laf,” Danny congratulated them. Kirsch patted them on the back, “Good for you, dude.”
“Thanks, guys. Its really cool ‘cause now both Perry and I will be in the city and we haven’t talked about it but I think we’ll probably try to find a place here. It would make the most sense and we’d finally be out of our tiny little apartment in Silas. I’ll have to talk to her though.”
Kirsch’s head popped up, as if on cue, Perry walked through the door, “You really left me in there by myself with them?”
Though the question was to all of them, she was looking directly at Lafontaine who became sheepish under her glance, “Sorry, babe?”
“Yes, that was very uncomfortable.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know really. I wasn’t paying any attention to their conversation because that would be rude.” Lafontaine rolled their eyes at Perry and Kirsch was let down that he would have to ask Laura about it later. Perry went on, “Laura pulled Carmilla outside though and so I felt that it was okay to come in here.”
“Well,” Kirsch started, trying to ignore his curiosity about Laura, “grab a paintbrush. We might actually finish this room today.”
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Laura reached out and grabbed Carmilla’s arm, dragging her girlfriend through the doorway and out behind the building. The building cast a shadow over them so they were not in direct sunlight and Laura went halfway to the end of the brick wall before stopping, letting go of Carmilla’s hand and turning to face her. She did her best to not be distracted by Carmilla’s lack of shirt and was awfully proud with her ability to do so. Laura crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Carmilla who had pursed lips and a rather bored look in her eyes. “Why are you here?”
She had not meant to sound so accusatory but she was flustered. Laura had been under the impression that Carmilla was in class and finding her in the bakery in Styria of all places had caught her off-guard. “I thought you had class.”
Carmilla shrugged, “The prof canceled.”
Laura’s eyes narrowed. Even if she believed her, that did not explain why she was currently in the city, helping paint Perry’s new bakery. It also did not explain how she got into the city which was a burning question in Laura’ smiled. “Okay, why are you here though? Couldn’t you have a shift at The Nook? Couldn’t you be at your house? Couldn’t you be at the apartment? I don’t know, reading or doing whatever you do?”
Carmilla rolled her eyes and mirrored Laura’s crossed arms, “Well, I’m here. What does it even matter?”
Laura uncrossed her arms and with tense fingers, shook her hands out, “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”
Carmilla’s head turned to the side and her eyebrows raised, a fake amused look on her face, “So now I have to tell you exactly where I am at all times?”
Laura’s hand flew to her temples and she grabbed at her hair and groaned, “No, I -”
She could not figure out why she was so weirded out by the situation and Carmilla’s accusation gave her flashbacks to Danny and being controlling was not what she was trying to do. She would not ignore the fact though that Carmilla had called her out and that was exactly what she sounded like. Obviously her frustration lightened the mood and Carmilla moved closer, grabbing hold of her hands and pulling them from her head, holding them in her own. Laura opened her eyes that were squeezed shut to find Carmilla looking at her intensely. “Are you mad that I’m hanging out with your friends without you?”
“They’re our friends,” Laura said, putting emphasis on ‘our.’ At this point they really were despite anything Carmilla tried to say against the fact.
“I was helping your friends because I had nothing better to do. I knew you were in the city and I didn’t think it was going to be an issue,” she paused for a second, squeezing Laura’s hands in her own, “Why is it an issue?”
“I don’t know,” Laura shook her head.
“Why is this bothering you?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know, okay?” Laura had a few excuses to use. She was used to a certain schedule and this had gone off the beaten track. She wanted to surprise Carmilla at home with the news. Maybe I am jealous that she’s with my friends. The thought horrified her and she knew that it would be in the back of her mind for the foreseeable future but saying that to Carmilla would only cause her to back off even more and Laura knew that having people around who cared about her, even if she refused to believe it, was doing great things for her.
Laura pulled her hands from Carmilla’s grip, “No, you don’t have to tell me where you are. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t know what I meant it like. I just expected you to be in class and you weren’t and I felt like you lied to me.”
She was realizing all of this as she said it, “And I’m starting to hear how idiotic it sounds because that’s ridiculous and I don’t know what came over me but it wasn’t okay and I shouldn’t have –”
“We’re good, cupcake.”
“But you’re right and -”
“We’re good,” she repeated and Laura actually heard her this time. Sometimes Carmilla’s willingness to let things go was worrisome and other times, Laura was so thankful that she did not hold things like this over her.
“How’d your interview go?”
Laura smiled wide at the change of subject and Carmilla grinned along with her, “I got it. Just like that. I didn’t even really need to interview.”
Laura was wrapped up in Carmilla’s arms and squeezed slightly. “I’m so happy for you, cutie. You deserve this.”
Carmilla let go and started backing away but Laura grabbed the loops of her leather pants; it would have been easier to grab a shirt but there was a lack in that area. Carmilla stumbled forward. “Don’t you think this was a little unfair?"
“What?”
Laura glanced down Carmilla’s torso, seeing her black sports bra and her stomach as it trembled with each breath she took and released.
“Oh,” came Carmilla’s voice, “say no more.”
Laura’s back scratched against brick when Carmilla pushed her up against the wall. Kissing Carmilla was always an adventure simply because Laura never knew what to expect. Carmilla could be gentle but hungry or passionate and slow or a mixture of any of those options and the exact combination was always up in the air. This time she was putting heavy, lingering kisses on Laura’s lips. There was an uncommon absence of lip bites. Nevermind, Laura thought when her lip was tugged outward. She threw her arms around Carmilla’s neck and Carmilla grabbed ahold of her waste. Carmilla pressed up against her and Laura wished she could run her hands over the bare skin but when Carmilla adjusted so her leg was between Laura’s, Laura became aware of where they currently were and that this should not be happening. She unfolded her hands from their position on Carmilla’s back and put a gentle pressure against her shoulders, “No, stop.”
As if she had been caught on fire, Carmilla had sprung ten feet away as soon as Laura had spoken. Laura’s brows furrowed, “What happened?”
“You said stop,” Carmilla responded plainly.
Laura tried to keep her amusement under wraps but she could still hear it when she spoke, “That didn’t mean you had to -” Laura gestured at her because she could not find the words that fit well enough.
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m doing anything against your wishes.”
This was the honesty and vulnerability that Carmilla had been working on showing her. The amount of care that Laura found in someone who wanted so much to not care about anything was vast and the concern Carmilla had for her and how she was feeling was beyond anything Laura had expected. Carmilla really thought of everything because lack of consent was not something that had crossed Laura’s mind; that was not the reason she had stopped them.
She padded across the pavement to Carmilla who had not stepped any closer to her and Carmilla seemed to flinch as she grew closer, “That’s not what happened, okay? Believe me. I just was not sure that was something that should be happening out here. Public places. Our friends are just inside.”
“Your friends.”
“Alright fine, my friends.” Laura was not going to argue about that at this very moment especially when she finally remembered the question that had been escaping her earlier. She looked at Carmilla confused for a second and Carmilla returned the look. “How did you get here?”
“What do you mean?”
Laura pointed to make herself more clear, “How did you get here?”
“Oh,” Carmilla said, looking past her. Laura grabbed ahold of her face and turned it back. “Look at me. How did you get here?”
“Its not a big deal.”
“Obviously if you’re telling me its not a big deal before you say anything, I’m going to think it’s a big deal.” There was no transportation into the city that did not require Carmilla to be in some sort of vehicle and Laura knew that it was almost impossible for her to be in a vehicle of any kind. Painting the bakery did seem like a task of such importance that Carmilla would risk a panic attack for.
Carmilla was biting on her lip, buying time but Laura was not planning on letting it go until she found out. “Do we have to do this?”
“Yes, we have to do this. I don’t even know what this is.”
Carmilla’s eyes moved to the side so that they were not focusing on Laura and she muttered, “I took the bus.”
Laura’s eyes widened. Far back in her mind she had known the answer but had ignored it because of how improbable it seemed. “You took the bus.”
“Yes, I took the bus,” Carmilla pushed Laura’s hands off her face, “its really not a big deal.”
She started walking towards the bakery door but Laura reached out to stop her, “Um, this is a huge deal, Carm! Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. You and Will are bowing this out of proportion,” Carmilla was not meeting her eyes and Laura couldn’t quite place why. Maybe embarrassment but that seemed out of character.
“You told Will?” Laura asked, trying to hide the hurt in her voice that she had not been the first one Carmilla had come to, “Carm, you should’ve told me.
Laura hugged her and after a moment’s hesitation she felt arms slowly hold her back. Laura scoffed, “Isn’t a big deal? I’m so proud of you.”
“Its nothing. And it’s not like a volunteered the information to Will.”
“Why are you brushing this off?” Laura questioned. Carmilla wiggled out of the hug, “I just don’t want this to be a thing. It’s a part of life and I have to be able to live life. It’s really hard to do anything when any type of car makes you freak out, okay? I got tired of it. I don’t know about anything else but the bus is fine now.”
Laura did not want to overshadow the accomplishment so she held her tongue but the only bus transportation necessary would be to get from Silas to Styria and there was nothing that Laura could think of that would require Carmilla to constantly make that trip. She’d delve into that subject later on. Laura held Carmilla’s hand, “Don’t hide things from me.”
“I know. I’m trying.” There was no smile on Carmilla’s face and Laura found it hard to sense what she was thinking though that was not a new experience. Laura sighed, “I know. Let’s go back in to help.”
“Ugh, do we have to,” Carmilla groaned causing Laura to laugh.
“You were here first, you know? This is your fault. We could be at home cuddling on the couch right now.”
“Then by all means, let’s do that.”
“I don’t think so.” And with that, Laura pulled a reluctant Carmilla through the back door.