Void

You hate this.

You feel nothing.

It's so empty.

So empty.

This cold emptiness embraces your body so tightly, nailing its way into your bones.

Everything is hollow.

So.

Hollow.

There's just nothing... nothing.

And it hurts!

This absolutely unbearable pain is surging from you column and pulsating through your extremities. It's like you've been torn to shreds and burned alive.

Well, you did get burned didn't you?

You only remember the fire eating at your back for seconds before blacking out, but now you're awake.

Did you finally die? After everything? You still only see black.

So. Much. Black.

There is nothing else here! No objects, no visible ceiling, no ground beneath you, but it still feels like you're laying on something.

Where is here?

Everything you do hurts. You're breathing leaves you wheezing in pain. The more you react to it, the more it's hard to endure.

You're all alone.

You openly cry, you scream, you plea for it to stop.

No answer.

There's no one.

Nothing but gibberish gets out of your mouth now. Is this you paying for everything you did in your life? Are you stuck like this forever?

Is this purgatory?

You close your eyes in abandon and cry, your whimpers echoing into nothingness.

Unnoticed by you, a soft pitter-patter slowly comes near you. It stops right beside your hip and a silhouette crouches over your body. Skeletal hands shakingly hover mere millimeters from your form, then clenching to steady themselves.

One reaches for the ruined mask still on your face, slowly takes it off and delicately lay it beside your head. You try to open your eyes to take in what took pressure of your head, but the tears makes it impossible to see. You lay there, paralyzed, and accept whatever fate may come upon you.

The hands finally lift you up into long arms. They softly cradle you to a hard chest. You cry at the stabbing pain going through your back and grip at the person's shoulder weakly. The figure puts a hand at the back of your head and holds it gently against his clavicle. His chin barely pressed on the top of your head, he lets out a calm sigh before you hear his recognizable voice loud and clear against the silence.

Breathe my dear. Will it away. Pain doesn't reach you here if you want it gone. Gaster murmurs to you.

You cry louder when he holds you closer, squeezing his arm and back with all your might. You want nothing more than what he offers you, but how do you force a feeling to just leave you? It's so strong! The scientist doesn't falter in his cooing.

It is not there anymore, the void has it. It's not your pain. You are at peace now, you cannot feel it any longer.

You try to believe it.

It is not your pain, it is the void's.

It's not your pain, it's the void's. You breath evens out a bit.

Yes, dear. You are fine, you don't feel pain any longer.

You don't feel pain any longer. Your muscles untense slowly.

Will it away, let the void have it.

Let the void have all the pain. Your shaking stops.

You sigh and let you body go heavy in Gaster's embrace. His grip on you lighten to give you space to breathe. You bring a hand back to you to clean your face from all the tears and slowly lift your gaze to his face. His skin (bones?) is so clear and white in all this black and his expression is calm, measured, nervous.

The lines that you previously saw in the smoke of his face were in fact cracks. The tip of your fingers softly brush against the end of the crack under his left eye. He doesn't move, a bit tense, watching you apprehensively as you examine him.

You finally realise your inapropriate touch and quickly retract your hand. You smile a little bit.

''Hey there, Wing Ding.'' comes in your croaky voice.

His expression soften a bit and he hums while nodding.

''This is where you live?''

You look around, him doing the same.

''Where are we?''

The skeleton gets up with you still in his embrace. He lets your leg touch the ground, allowing you to try to balance your own self. It takes a couple of seconds before you get the hang of it. You're so physically weak, you stagger every five seconds.

We are in the void. It's the everything and nothing in between all of what exists.

He explains mirthlessly. The way he says it, it almost sounds like this explanation was given a thousand times before... He must've had time to figure it out while he was stuck here.

Sorrow overwhelms over you. Everything he told you was true. How long exactly has he been here?

It's so empty.

You feel your own self fading in the darkness and you just arrived! Where you stuck here too now? The thought gave you chills. You find yourself comforted by the thought that you will at least be together now and not alone. But...

... you failed...

You promised to keep Frisk safe. You're gone now. You'll never know if they're okay... or if they're even still alive.

You had one job and it was to take care of them. Oh how bad of a parent were you to them...

The scientist repeats your name again. Your moment of self-loathing having silenced everything around you. You didn't heard him until now. He brings you back to reality with another call of your name.

Stop this self-destructive way of thinking. The child is alive.

You give him a look of momentary disbelief before remembering that he sees. Not only that but he also feels you, you feel him, right here beside you. Somehow that fact eases you more than his words.

To prove his point, Gaster extend his hand to his side. The nonexistent 'wall' beside him glitches and sudden light blinds you. You squint while he moves away from the source of light. Your eyes adjust and you see your little Frisk right there, walking through knee-high water. This is how the scientist sees the world from here? You unconsciously reach to the 'picture' but feel your hand lay on an invisible glass of some sort. You spitefully mutter

''You can take a look but not touch...''

The tall skeleton joins you at your left in front of the window to your world.

Cruel isn't it?

You look at him. Hands behind his back, his gaze remains on the window and his smile is bitter. You turn back. The ambiance is heavy while you two look silently at the kid's progression.

After a couple of minutes, you decide to ask ''Am I dead G?''

He looks at you for a moment before closing his eyes and gently grab your shoulder to bring you closer, stabilizing you and keeping you from leaning on the window.

Yes... and no.

You frown, still looking at Frisk, and lean on his side for confort.

He's a bit shocked at what appears to be a show of affection on your part. Is it too bold of him to assume it is?

''What do you mean?''

Well, it's a bit complicated.Yes, you died. But I...

He takes in a breath and huff.

I didn't want you to die. I-I wanted you to survive so much. I forced your soul into latching onto mine... even when your body was ready to let go. I wasn't even aware, but I pretty much force-ripped you from existance if it makes more sense. That is why you're in here with me now. He opens his eyes to look at you, guilty.

You face him with incredulous eyes. He takes a breath in again and put his hand to his chest, slowly pulling it away and freeing his soul from his body. Taking a very light hold on it, he bring it closer to your face. You briefly spare him a glance before looking closer at the black upside down heart. It lights up like a black neon light and seem to blink out every once in awhile. You can barely see it in the middle because of a smoke like substance, but you notice there is a very dark and cracked purple heart in there. Your soul you guess.

The cracks radiate a blueish white light and it is shaking like a leaf, ready to break at any moment.

''Can I?'' You ask, holding your hands in front of you.

Gaster ponders for a bit, then shakes his head and place it back in his chest.

That would be inappropriate. Out of a fight, showing someone else your soul is already a very personal act of trust. To a monster, soul-touching is a very intimate action.

You restrain your flush from showing while you nod, bringing your hand back to your side.

"O-oh."

Don't worry, you didn't know. Beside, I was the one who boldly decided to show you my soul. He adds, a little embarrassed himself. You deserved to see what happened to your soul. I had not much of a choice since I'm keeping the only remaining part of yours in mine.

You got no soul in your body? Can that be a thing?

After that, he turns back to look at Frisk again. You copy is action with an empty smirk on our lips.

''So, I'm kind of surviving like a parasite in your soul then?''

He laugh shortly at your unexpected comment.

In some way, though innacurate, I sort of did the same thing with you when you were still back there. He nods toward the window to your reality.

Looking at him, you decide to lighten the mood a bit and pleasantly add ''Would you look at that, we're acting so much alike. No wonder we get along so well and did that 'soul-connection' thingy that I don't exactly remember how to phrase.''

You nudge his side and smile. He looks at you weird for a moment before smiling along.

Yes, I do believe our actions and reactions are intertwining a bit.

He laugh, giving a one-side hug to you. Realising his action, he mutters to himself.

Though I blame the soul-bond for our compulsive need to get closer to one another...

Gaster was never been a person for contact. In his 'living time' he spared more of his time on writing formulas then on social activities. People found him cold, sometimes frightingly so and he knows why... Maybe all the time he spent in the void made him subconsciously realise the need for monster or (in this case) human contact? Perhaps he even let got of more than he first though and you were just bringing feelings back to him? Before, he never fully invested himself in any of his relationships enough to make a soul-bond so he's pretty much as inexperienced in this field as you are (excluding the basic writen monster knowledge of it).

Your soul-bond was a very unusual one at that. Unheard of. It happened out of the blue. Absolutely no contact of any sort beforehand. He just dived right in that feeling of need you were throwing at the time. All that energy felt simply too intoxicating for him to ignore. He gazes at your eyes as they calmly examine the kid's surrounding. Both of you are just so, SO different... but still so strangely fitting for one another. Hmph... maybe it's the soul-bond talking for him again.

He's still trying to analyze his and your reactions on this matter. You both knew nothing on eachother, but your connection seemed to have made him crave any sort of interaction with you.

Crave you.

He doesn't know for sure if it does the same to you. Maybe he should ask one day? Would it be okay? Just to know... His thinking gets cut off when you nudge his side.

Yes? he says patiently.

''Tell me more about monsters, please?''

Want to learn more about this new 'exotic' species don't you? He teases you.

You snort and weakly punch him away.

''I'm serious!''

His hold stays strong and you're rewarded with a heartwarming laugh.

''We have all the time in the world don't we? Why not teach each other knowledge? Come on mister the scientist, teach me, I'm really curious.''

You jab your finger in his side and he grabs your hand with a sharp nods.

Alright, alright. What are you more interested in then?

You lightly smile.

''Nice. Okay, what about that time with the queen?''

You stop yourself when his grip tighten for what appears to have been a millisecond.

''I... I'm sorry about the Queen. I didn't have a choice. Her eyes... they were... I've seen those eyes and I just-''

It is fine.

He frowns sadly at you.

No need for an explanation, I understand the choice you had to make, more than you think I can.

He looks back at the kid again.

I've had my load of morally questionable decisions in my own existence. Beside, it's irrelevant since you are now here with me.

You frown when melancholy cross his face.

I just knew this woman well enough to regret her death.

His eye sockets closes momentarily.

Please, continue with your question.

He's not telling you the whole truth. He has seen her die so many times before, he has actually gone numb to the sight of her dust. So many timelines, so many universes, how could he not? The only reason he was affected this time around is because he was there for once. He saw her through your eyes. He felt your fear. Your emotions at that moment were all but loud screams shouted directly into his own soul. For a moment he truly thought, like you, that this woman was a monstrous and soulless beast and not the loving wife of one of his oldest friends.

Even now, he's still debating over which person was more righteous in this fight. The queen was only protecting a child. At the price of her own life. A pure sacrifice on her end.

But you didn't know this. All you wanted was to give your life to the very same child and you were willing to go through drastic measures to achieve your goal. Sadly, she got in your way. Your base intentions were as pure as Toriel's.

He felt horrible in the fact that he was siding more towards your actions than hers. Betraying his own faraway memories of her.

You were becoming too important in his mind. He was putting you first, a human which he was raised to actually fear and that he barely knew before one of his closest acquaintances he deeply respected. He truly beats himself over for it.

You hum awkwardly at the ugly feeling passing through your brain. Getting out of the hug, you decide to just go on with it since it's already on the table.

''Back then, you knew how she was feeling before I even got a good look at her reactions. You were mentioning her showing 'openly her wary soul'. What was all that?''

I'm afraid I am not sure what you are referring to. He looks at you weirdly again.

''You felt her feelings... or something like that? I guessed she was putting a facade when she 'helped' me down the stairs, but you, it's like you knew exactly what she thought!''

You motion to the window.

''Is that a thing only you are capable to do? Like when you see anything you want to look at?'' His eyes clears out in comprehension.

Ah, I heard about that! You humans are not as tightly connected to your soul as us monsters are, aren't you?

Now it's your turn to look weirdly at him. He then proceeds in explaining you the difference between monster and human physicality. How monster souls are weak and human's one are naturally stronger. You also learn that human's soul are mainly controlled by its level of determination.

He mention it to you like it is actually measurable and you fight the urge to raise a brow.

Monster souls are basically made of love, hope and compassion? His people are all supposed to be good at heart(soul?) due to this. He tries to assure you they shouldn't actually naturally want to harm Frisk. The skeleton adds that since monsters are less physical, they are also more aware of surrounding magic and souls, more openly in touch with their feelings.

Not just their own, but others around them too, and since all of it is what basically makes you you it means they can be aware of you or your general intent.

Oh and that is also a thing apparently. Everything is determined by intent. The more intent you put in a hit, the more real harm it will do. The more you really enjoy something, the more it will be treated with precaution and affection. The more you genuinely hate something, the more naturally intimidating you will become, etc, etc.

You silently drink up every sentence he's saying and you can't help noticing how much he's getting into his own speech. His pupils seemingly light up more and he's starting to gesticulate to put more meaning in his explanations. He really does loves sharing knowledge... It makes you smile fondly.

His rant goes on for a bit and now he's explaining how monsters fight is formed around a turn based pattern.

You wonder briefly if it would actually be easier that ways since humans basically just beat each other to the ground until one of them can't get up anymore.

Gaster goes on and on again, mentioning that LV, HP, DEF and ATK stats are also an actual thing for each and every living being. You practically can't hold your laugh at how much like a video game that sounds. Your amused face only fuel his desire to continue his explanations.

-but don't worry about showing too much of yourself with your soul. One can actually learn how to hide stats, intentions and their overall soul if they will. I myself have learned through years of training. I believe you unknowingly learned a bit- A sudden whine stop him abruptly.

You take a look at the window and now notice that little Frisk is in a fight. Both of your faces grow solemn at the sight, yours being a bit more panicked. They get hit again and wince.

''No... No NO! Frisk!''

You smash your hands on the surface. The kid was on one knee, visibly wounded. You hit the invisible glass, doing absolutely no damage to it.

''Come on lil soldier! Stand back up!''

They do and you let a tiny smile pass on your lips, but it disappears when they get struck down by a freaking smirking horse-faced piece of muscles!

You growl ''Come on!''

Gaster groans when your panic-fueled-fury fill his soul. He looks at the child' stats. Frisk only has 3HP. You hit the barrier again and shout

''Dodge Frisk! DODGE!''

They get hit and you wince. The skeleton frowns sadly at you. Only 1HP now. He grabs your arm and pull you back to his chest.

You don't want to see what comes next...

You push and thrash against him in protest, but he doesn't let you go.

Gaster looks, like he has so many times before, when the killing blow strikes the kid. Like every time; they go still, their soul fragments, and breaks...

The timeline should reset soon now.

As he lessen his hold on you, you hiss and also still. He barely has the time to frown at your lack of actions before his soul suddenly blaze with heat, making him grip his chest and close his eye sockets in pain. Did your soul shatter!?! B-but he was so careful!

When he opens his eyes again, you're gone.